CHAPTER 21

JARED

“Fuck that was awesome.” Angry sex with Alicia was something that I’d just learned I loved. For someone who always wanted to be in some measure of control, she was a wildcat when she lost it. I was pretty sure the skin on my back was ripped to shreds and that I was going to have permanent marks from her fingernails on my ass, but it was totally worth it.

I’d been completely blindsided by her accusations, unprepared for her tearing into me over something that I didn’t fucking do, and even more so by how quickly that had me crashing down from the high after what had been a pretty spectacular show for a great cause. Nothing usually brought me down after a show like that, especially not bullshit allegations five minutes after I got off stage.

The intensity of my emotions from her calling me out for screwing someone else was also not something I was used to. It should have rolled off my back like water, but it hadn’t. It triggered a severe urge to prove her wrong, to drive her as crazy as she made me feel, and even more strangely, to make her believe me.

I knotted and tossed the condom in a wastebasket underneath the counter, forced my dick back into my pants, and helped Alicia hop off, bending down to pull her pants back up over her shaky legs.

“Yeah, it was awesome,” she admitted, although she wouldn’t meet my eyes for some reason. Grabbing a bottle of water for each of us from the mini fridge, I led her over to the couch and sat down before putting her into my lap and chugging half my water in one go.

Holding my water in my hand, I brought it down to rest on her thigh. “Talk to me, Alicia.”

A deep sigh rattled from her lungs as she squeezed her eyes shut and then opened them to land on mine. “I need to say a few things, but hear me out before you start freaking out.”

That didn’t sound good. I very much doubted that I was going to like what she was about to say. “I can do that.”

She hesitated, but then the vulnerability in her eyes was gone and replaced with the same resolute determination that I’d seen there when she’d been expecting an argument over something at work. This definitely wasn’t going to be good.

“So here’s the thing. I know that we agreed to just have fun and see where we go, but I need more than that from you.”

Fuck.

More. I could give her so much, but surely, I couldn’t give her that. I didn’t even really know what that meant, but since I promised to hear her out, I nodded for her to continue.

“Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that I love you or anything.”

Thank god for that. The word love wasn’t even on my radar, so if nothing else, we were still on the same page about that.

“I’ve always had to be careful to keep control of my emotions, and I can’t do that if I don’t know what to expect from you. I need commitment.”

Shit. Fuck. Balls. I should’ve known this was coming. I should’ve expected it, and I sure as hell should’ve had something better to say, but I didn’t.

“Oh.”

Alicia held up her hand, which did little to slow my racing thoughts. “I understand that you don’t want to date me, and we don’t need to give whatever this is any specific title. I still don’t know if I believe you about not sleeping with the groupie, but if we’re going to continue to do this, I’m going to need your word that you will be a hundred percent committed to sleeping only with me. If you can’t give me that, then we need to be a hundred percent over.”

Sleeping with only one girl? My skin prickled when I realized that she was suggesting exclusivity. Monogamy, even if we weren’t dating. It wasn’t something that sat right with me, but on the other hand, the thought that another man would be touching her if I didn’t agree to this was even worse. Much worse was never getting to fuck her again.

That same pang of possessiveness, of relentless need that I’d felt before, twisted in my gut. I was in. Whatever the fuck being in was.

“I can live with that,” I told her, surprising myself by agreeing as much as I seemed to have surprised her. I just didn’t know for how long. I’d never been tied to only one pussy before, so I had no way of knowing how long it would take before either of us got bored.

But as long as that one pussy was hers, I was everything but bored right now. Hers was the golden standard of pussies as far as I was concerned. “So long as we’re clear that we are still friends with benefits and nothing more, I can agree to not fuck anyone else while we’re at it.”

A small, but radiant smile started spreading on Alicia’s lips as her hand lifted to my cheek. “Really?”

“Yeah, really,” I said, smirking a little. “I’m not an animal. I can control myself. It’s a two-way street, though, right?”

Alicia nodded and leaned her forehead against mine. “You have my word. If I’m sleeping with someone, I’m only with them. So, I’m only with you.”

Bringing her lips to mine, she slid her tongue over them and kissed me passionately. My hands circled her waist, and I pulled her close to my chest, splaying my fingers across her back as I held her to me.

Christ, she felt so damn good. Her lips were soft and pliant as they moved with mine, and she tasted like spearmint and sunshine. I didn’t care how cheesy that sounded, it was true, and it also wasn’t like I was planning on ever saying it out loud.

As my hands were twisting into her hair and our kiss grew more frenzied, there was a knock on the door, and Nick called out from outside. “Dude, open up.”

I groaned at his interruption, but I also knew Nick well enough to know that he wasn’t leaving until I did. It didn’t hurt to try, though. “Go away. I’m busy.”

“Come on, man. This will only take a second. I’m trying to be decent here.”

Alicia scampered off my lap, smiled, and held her hand out to the door. “Go ahead.”

With a deep sigh, I shook my head at both of them, even though Nick couldn’t see me as I headed for the door. As soon as I opened it, Nick stepped inside and didn’t react to finding us together or to how obvious it was that we’d just fucked.

“Hey, Alicia,” he said, his hazel eyes shining green as they always did when we came offstage. It was Nick’s tell that he was buzzed, excited, and high on adrenaline.

Alicia’s hair was wild from having my hands in them, her lips slightly swollen and pink, and although mine were covered in scruff, I was pretty sure they looked the same. It wasn’t like I was hiding the fact that I was sleeping with Alicia from the band. We were just way past the fuck and tell stage of our lives.

Sure, we still laughed about the crazy chicks and occasionally bragged about an exceptionally good blow job and that kind of thing, but that was it. If we all had to sit down and dissect every sexual experience, we might as well pack it in and spend the rest of our lives gossiping.

“What do you want, Masters?”

He looked sheepish and clasped the back of his neck with his hand, gripping at his black hair. “So, I was making out with this chick earlier, and things got a little heated, so I took her to the nearest dressing room. Turned out that was yours. I was just coming by to say sorry if we knocked anything over and to warn you not to sit on that couch. I told you I was trying to be decent here.”

Nick laughed when Alicia jumped up and looked at the offending couch as if it had bitten her. I caught her eye, and everything suddenly made sense. She had heard someone screwing in my dressing room, it just hadn’t been me.

We burst out laughing at the same time as we figured it out, while a mildly confused expression crossed Nick’s features, and his eyes darted between the two of us.

“Looks like I’m too late. I’m just going to get out of your hair then.”