***
The calmness that I had over the electricity bill and me getting an additional job faded fast as I sat on the train on my way to the hospital. There had to be a better way to make some money on the side. Maybe I could tutor or help out with someone's side business at the hospital. I knew a lot of nurses and doctors would pick up extra shifts at other hospitals, or work a few days a week in a private office for additional income.
I wouldn't need it ten years from now, but I sure as hell did today. The electricity would be cut off by the evening if we didn't get a payment into them. It wasn't going to happen, and that alone stressed me out completely. I couldn't call my mom, seeing as how she had less income than even the poorest of the poor. I was surprised that she still had the little house my dad had built thirty years prior, but he'd been smart and paid the thing off. She could afford the small amount in taxes and insurance since she was in the middle of the ghetto.
"One day," I mumbled to myself as I got off the train and jogged across the street to the hospital. I would make enough money one day to take care of both of us, of all of us. It would be my legacy to bring us from dipping past the poverty line to having more than enough. I'd use my excess to set up a fund to help others like me. Surely there were a handful of medical students who had used scholarships, fellowships, and loans to get their M.D. Not everyone had a paid ride and a silver spoon in their mouths. I had no doubt that Aiden did, but maybe I was being unfair.
The ER was pure chaos as I walked in, and the madness of it caused me to stop short. "What's going on?"
"Move!" A loud voice yelled from behind me, and I jumped to the left to make way for the stretcher and the two EMS guys who were running past me. The guy on the stretcher was covered in blood and shaking violently. Another two followed him.
"Shit." I ran toward the locker room and chucked my stuff in before racing back toward the ER. I wasn't allowed to diagnose or perform anything more than the nurses might be able to do, but I was an extra set of hands, and surely someone could use my help.
"Elizabeth. Get over here. There was a bombing downtown this morning. People will be piling in. Just help with check-in and triage. I'll be going into surgery for substantial injuries. Join me as soon as you can, but start here." Aiden touched my shoulder before jogging toward the OR.
I didn't get a chance to reply, but there was no need to. It was time to jump into the fray. I worked for the next two hours beside a handful of nurses, helping with bandaging, assessments, and drawing blood.
"It's going to be okay. You're in good hands, sweetheart." I touched the side of the face of the little girl who sat on the table before me, shaking. "You're okay now."
She reached for me, and I moved up, wrapping my arms around her. I looked up as Karen walked into the room and mouthed for me to come on. I mouthed back, asking where the girl's mother and father were. Karen's face fell as she shook her head. They hadn't survived.
I let out a long breath and moved back, smiling down at the girl and squeezing her tiny shoulders. "Miss Karen's going to take care of you, but I'll be back to check on you shortly. Okay?"
"Okay. Where's my momma?" She looked around wildly, and my heart lodged in my throat.
"It's okay. I’ve got this." Karen moved up beside me. "Aiden wants you in room thirty-four. Now."
I turned and ran from the room, trying hard not to let the sadness that threatened to pull me under work its magic on me. Aiden glanced up from behind the glass of the OR room he was in as I raced by. Our eyes met, but only for a moment. The need to walk in and wrap my arms around him was a bit too much.
A nurse I'd yet to meet walked into the wash room and helped me with my gloves. She looked shaken, and I wanted to offer her comfort, but I didn't know her. She might bite my head off, which was the last thing I needed before going in to help Aiden. Something told me that I wouldn't be shadowing that day, but playing his second.
"Good luck. It's been unbelievable today. Dr. Crawford is on edge, so get ready." She shrugged and turned, walking back into the small operating room as I followed her.
Aiden glanced up, his goggles in place and his brow pulled tight. "Take over for me. Keep the clamp down and get ready to move when I tell you to. We're losing this guy fast. He took a pipe to the chest, thanks to the explosion. I've removed it, but we need to patch him up fast. You know how to stitch?" His voice was biting as he barked at me.
"Yes." I moved up and took the clamp as I forced myself into the calm place where nothing mattered but saving lives. I could do this, and had done it several times over the last few years. New York was a hot bed of activity, both good and bad. The hospitals there were no different.
"Alright. On my count." He looked up at me and I nodded. "Three. Two. One."
We moved quickly together, shifting and turning the patient on the bed as we closed him up and shared the responsibility with the nurses of keeping pressure on the right clamps while releasing others. Within half an hour, the man was closed up, and his vitals were looking good.
Aiden let out a long sigh and stepped back. "Great job. Scrub out and see if they need you out there. If they don't, then meet me back in my office. We'll talk through some of the things I've done today, and I'll have you write up reports for me. I'm exhausted."
"Of course." I turned to go, a little disappointed that I couldn't stay with him and help with the next thing he had coming up.
"Elizabeth. Great job today. I'm impressed." He tugged his goggles down and winked at me. "Thank you."
"Of course." I ignored the intense fluttering in my chest, and washed up, only to turn back and watch him share a laugh with a pretty blonde nurse next to him. I didn't want to feel jealous, but I did. It was stupid and childish, and I really needed to get over myself. He was too far out of my league to expect anything other than what we had.
Besides, I had bigger things to worry about. Like how to support myself over the next three years with little income and huge student loans. I could push the worry off only so long before it crept up and pulled me under. I was sure that time was coming, and fast.