CHAPTER 41

ALICIA

I liked the crispness of a recently cleaned hotel room, where every little thing was in place and every shelf was clear and just waiting to be filled. Whenever I stayed in hotels, I liked for the room to keep that crisp, clean feeling about my room.

As a result, I didn’t make myself at home the way some travelers did as soon as I arrived. My bag remained neatly packed on shorter trips, with only the necessary items hung up on the rail in cupboards. My shoes were packed in a straight line below that.

As I ripped another cocktail dress out of my bag and threw it on the bed behind me in my rush to dig through my evening wear and find something appropriate to wear to the hospital, I briefly flashed on the fact that for the first time ever, my hotel room looked like a bomb had hit it.

There were clothes everywhere, lying crumpled on the floor or on the bed. I kept tripping over shoes because I hadn’t taken the time to unpack them when I’d arrived, and they’d suffered the same fate as my clothes, being haphazardly ripped from my bag and discarded in my frantic search.

I finally found a gray cashmere sweater and pulled that on, along with a pair of jeans. Jumping up and down a few times to fit into the pair of skinny jeans, I used one hand to slide earrings into my ears while doing up my zipper with the other.

Jared had said something about Caleb and a hospital before rushing back into his room. It had taken me cornering Nick to find out that Caleb had been admitted to the intensive care unit at a nearby hospital earlier this morning with suspected alcohol poisoning.

I’d felt faint when I heard.

No wonder Jared’s eyes were so wild before he ran back into his room. Caleb was his baby brother, and he was in trouble. If it had been Kelly, I would’ve been beside myself with worry. I’d never gone through anything like this with my little sister, but whenever she so much as broke a nail, I was worried.

It must’ve been hell for Jared to hear Caleb was in the hospital alone while not knowing how he was. My heart clenched in my chest, bleeding for him. And for Kelly, just because I suddenly missed her and had an urge to check in with her.

When Jared had run into his room, I understood his agitated need to be with his brother as soon as he could. I was jittery to get to the hospital, and I didn’t even really know Caleb. Nor could I say it was purely my worry over the band’s reputation or the press getting to the hospital before me that was driving me to dig through my bag like a dog frantically after a bone.

I’d gotten the headlines of the story from Nick as soon I could and then came back to my room to shower and change. I was breaking personal records with getting ready to leave so fast.

Not only did Jared need me there, whether he would admit it or not, but if the press got ahold of the story, I needed to be at the hospital to do my job. Getting admitted to the hospital with alcohol poisoning was far from scandalous or unheard of from rock stars, but the guys were the focus of so much attention at the moment that Caleb’s hospitalization was bound to be big news if it broke in the media—a scenario I was determined to avoid.

A booming, impatient knock at my door invaded my thoughts. My heart skipped a beat. Slipping my other earring in, I wiggled the last bit of the way into my jeans and did up the button, all while hurrying to get the door.

I wanted it to be Jared standing on the other side of it, coming to get me before he went to the hospital, but it wasn’t. Instead, Gerry stood waiting when I swung the door open. He was wearing a scowl and, shockingly, no jacket with his suit.

“You know what’s going on,” he said as soon as he saw me fully dressed now even though my feet were bare. Leaving the door open so he could follow me in, I walked to a pair of power heels I’d accidentally kicked across the room earlier and slid them on.

Over my shoulder, I talked to Gerry while pulling the shoe on. “Caleb’s been admitted to the ICU. Alcohol poisoning, apparently. We have to get to the hospital.”

Gerry paled and then spun into gear.

When we walked into the hospital less than an hour later, I heard Jared long before I saw him. His rough voice carried down the sterile halls. Loudly. Clearly upset. People glanced in the direction of the commotion as they rushed around the halls, but no one paid attention to him for very long.

Probably because people in hospitals, for work or for personal reasons, had more important things to worry about than who was causing a scene and why. Gerry and I turned a corner and saw Jared standing at a nurses’ station demanding to see his brother. “He’s knocked out. He can’t consent to anything, and I can’t consent if I can’t even see him. I want to see him. Now.”

He was fuming, his palms flat on the counter in front of him and his gaze intent on a stoic looking woman wearing a nurse’s uniform. She had spiky white hair and was shaking her head at Jared.

People gave him a wide berth, not stopping long enough to notice who was causing the scene.

Thankfully.

I breathed a sigh of relief, glancing around to make sure no one was recording his performance. Only a few other people were around the waiting room outside the ICU, and none of them were holding up a phone or any other kind of device.

Most looked haggard and exhausted, staring blankly out of the grimy windows overlooking the city or scrolling absently through their phones. One young woman was looking at Jared with interest, blinking like she couldn’t quite believe what she was seeing. Her gaze dipped to her magazine a second later, and my shoulders relaxed.

Whether she recognized him or not I didn’t know, but if she did, she’d clearly decided against approaching him or worse, recording him. Sitting back in her faded blue chair, she didn’t pay any further attention to him.

The stoic nurse, on the other hand, flushed angrily and clenched her little fists at her sides. “You’re making a scene, sir. If you would please—”

“I won’t please.” Jared dropped his chin, glaring at the spiky-haired nurse. “That’s my brother in there and I need to see him before I sign anything.”

Gerry swooped in as the nurse opened her mouth to reply. He planted a hand on Jared’s shoulder and flashed the nurse a smile. “Thank you for your help. Will you give us a minute?”

She glowered at Gerry but waved him away. He started speaking to Jared, his voice too low for me to hear what he was saying.

Walking up to the nurse with a bright smile, I got to work myself. If it got out Jared was yelling at hospital staff, his attitude and reputation would be front and center in the press once again. I needed his voice and his album front and center, not his lack of patience.

My eyes dropped quickly to the bronze name tag affixed to her uniform. “Hi, Nancy.”

The nurse’s obvious contempt lessened as I smiled at her and Gerry led Jared away, but she was still not a happy camper. Her tired green eyes focused on me as she lifted a hand to toy with a thin golden chain around her neck, shooting one last scowl at Jared’s retreating back.

“Good morning,” I said.

“No one is allowed to see the patient he’s demanding to see at the moment,” she told me without niceties or prelude. “I only asked him to sign the papers since he produced identification confirming he was the patient’s brother. The doctors don’t need his consent right now, though. They’re within their rights to be administering the treatment they are without your friend’s consent. He wasn’t even here when the patient was brought in.”

“I understand. So does he.” I nodded at Jared. “But the patient is his brother, and he was just told about him being hospitalized a little while ago. That’s why he’s so upset. He’s just worried. His brother was out with friends when this happened, so he doesn’t know how bad his condition is. If he could just see him for a second, I’m sure it would ease his mind.”

“Yes, but we can’t make any exceptions.” She shot an accusatory stare over my shoulder at where Gerry was trying to calm Jared down. “No matter who the family is.”

I sighed inwardly. I didn’t know what Jared had said to the woman to antagonize her so much, but I was getting a pretty good idea. It was also clear the woman was not a fan, and Jared arguing with her had basically guaranteed she wasn’t going to take pity on him and allow him to see Caleb. Now, it would be up to me to ensure she forgave him enough not to give a snooty statement to the press if they ever came sniffing around.

“I’m sure Mr. Larsen understands your position and respects the rules.” The nurse raised her eyebrows, letting me know she didn’t agree with what I was saying, but I pressed on. “He just wants to know his brother’s okay.

“This is bullshit, Gerry.” Jared exploded behind me. I sighed out loud this time, watching the nurse’s expression darken. “They can’t keep me from seeing my own goddamn brother.”

“Actually, we can,” Nancy told me, though her eyes remained on Jared. “We can’t allow anyone to see him because of the state he’s in. Not even his brother.”

Jared turned away from Gerry and stormed back up to the counter. “The state he’s in? Is it that bad?”

He turned away from us and started striding to the double doors marked ICU. Gerry took off after him and grabbed his arm, hissing. “You can’t, Jared.

The nurse crossed her arms and pursed her lips. She glanced at Gerry, who held onto Jared, his jaw tight. Ignoring Jared’s question, she looked back at me as she jerked her head at him. “You need to get control over him, ma’am. I’m going to have to call the police if you don’t.”

“That won’t be necessary.” Please let that be true.

Walking over to Jared, I rested my hand on his forearm and waited for him to take a deep breath and meet my eyes. When he finally did, anger sparked in his dark eyes, but I could see his underlying worry in the lines around them.

“Take a walk with me.”

He didn’t respond immediately, first looking back at the doors to the ICU and then to the nurse, to Gerry, and finally, at me. “Fine.”

Spinning around abruptly, he marched down the hallway we’d entered through and didn’t stop again until we were outside. The exit doors slid open quietly to let us out into the parking lot. Jared kept his head down, his hands stuffed into his pockets.

A few people looked twice as he passed them, but no one stopped us. I followed him to a quieter corner of the lot and nearly crashed into him when he stopped almost as suddenly as he’d taken off once we cleared the crowds. “There. No more self-righteous nurse threatening to lock me up. The band’s reputation is safe. What is it?”

I folded my arms, half waiting for him to stomp his feet like an entitled, spoiled toddler might have. He was already acting like one. It didn’t seem like too much a stretch to imagine he might take it to that level.

Angling my head slightly, I debated the best way to calm him down that didn’t involve a few hours in the police holding cells to cool his jets. That would probably do the trick eventually, after a few more hours of shouting, but it was quite possibly the worst outcome this situation could have.

“They’re only doing their jobs in there, Jared,” I said finally. “You might not like it, and I get that. I would’ve been ten times worse if that was Kelly in there, but we have to trust that they know what’s best for Caleb right now. And if that’s uninterrupted medical attention, then we owe it to him to let them do what they need to do for him.”

“I don’t like it.” He pointed up at the windows above us, which probably weren’t those of the unit Caleb was in, but I didn’t point it out, knowing what he meant anyway. “He’s in there. My brother is in there. God knows what they’re doing to him or if he even knows it. All I want is to see him.”

“I know you’re worried.” I reached out to him, and to my surprise, he opened his arms and pulled me into a hug. “Caleb’s strong. He’ll be okay.”

His arms tightened around me, and he tensed before relaxing again, his breath tickling my temple when he spoke. “I just can’t believe the guys let him get like this. I never thought they’d let it go this far.”

I burrowed into his chest, winding my arms around in waist in a silent show of support.

There was nothing I could say to that. The band had its own dynamics, and I didn’t pretend to understand them all. I knew Jared blamed himself for what happened to Caleb. I’d seen that much in him this morning when he was getting into it with Nick.

But there was more to it. I didn’t know what it was yet, but it sounded a lot like disillusionment. Jared rested his head on top of mine, almost hesitant before he continued in a quiet voice. “He’s the only family I have left. He has to be okay.”

“I’ll stay with you until he is,” I whispered, pulling away from him to look into his eyes as I made my promises. “We won’t go anywhere until we know he’s fine.”

Jared sighed and then his eyes turned stormy. “No, you should go.”

“Wha—?”

He interrupted my startled question by pressing his finger to my mouth. If it were anyone but Jared on any day but today, the move would’ve pissed me off. But it was Jared, and it was today, so I let it go.

“You should take the guys and go back home. I’ll deal with this myself.” The way he said it, he wasn’t asking. He was telling me what he wanted, and I respected what he needed.

Again, it was Jared, and it was today. He was having a really rough time, and if taking the band home would help him, that’s what I would do.

“Okay.” I pressed a soft kiss to his jaw. “Whatever you need, Jared.”

Just for today anyway, I’ll agree to do whatever he needs.