CHAPTER 25

ALICIA

The door made a hollow clicking sound as I closed it behind me. There were four other people in the room with me, but having seen Jared made it feel, for just that second we'd made eye contact, like it was just of the two of us here.

Ignoring the bolt of pain that shot through me at seeing him for the first time in a week, I inhaled a deep breath and turned to face the room. "Shall we get started?"

Thankfully, the executives of the design team I was meeting with were discussing details of the stages and graphics for the upcoming tour and album today and didn't really need my input. I had to be there to know what was going on, but I didn't have to actively participate in the meeting.

A good thing, since I very much doubted I’d be able to push Jared far enough from my mind now that I'd seen him to give any meaningful participation in the ideas being thrown around. For an hour, I sat in that meeting, trying and failing to keep Jared from infiltrating my thoughts.

It was an exercise in futility, one I'd attempted several times over the course of the last week and still hadn't gotten any good at. Despite my best intentions, the insanely gorgeous, arrogant front man of the band I was representing had gotten under my skin.

I'd promised myself when I'd started seeing him, for lack of a better term, that I wouldn't get involved. Convinced myself that just this once, I could let go and have fun with a man, that I could keep the physical and the emotional aspects of being with someone separate.

Not surprisingly, it turned out I couldn’t.

Logically, I knew Jared had been doing his job during his interview with that reporter, but it was what he’d said to her that'd finally opened my eyes to the fact that I couldn't keep doing what we were doing.

Somewhere along the line, I'd gotten onto a different page than the one he was on about what was happening between us—sadly, by no fault of his. He'd been perfectly open and honest with me from the beginning about what he wanted.

But hearing him say there was no one special in his life, that he was single and always would be was enough for me to realize that deep down inside, I really had believed that him being with me and only me meant something to him.

It didn't. Clearly.

He’d flirted shamelessly with the reporter and went as far as to tell the woman that if they weren't in an interview, he would have been making a run at her right then. All this was said right in front of me. I was standing less than ten feet away from him at the time. I'd known we weren't dating, knew he had hang-ups about the term, but I'd never imagined he would hit on another woman right in front of me.

Not that it mattered really. Because hearing him so callously confirm there was no one special in his life had already forced me to face that I truly meant nothing to him. As much as I wished I could have denied it or that things were different, I couldn't live with that. I wasn't asking or expecting him to love me. I wasn't that stupid or delusional, but I also couldn't keep being with someone who didn't care about me at all.

"Alicia?" One of the men in the meeting asked, pulling me back to the generic-looking conference room with its gray walls and round table at the studio we were meeting in. At least there was a potted plant on the side table in the corner, so someone had obviously tried to give the place life at some stage.

Unfortunately, they'd failed. Or maybe that was because my whole life felt a little more dull and drab without a certain lead singer in it who was sexy as sin and had a natural charisma most would kill for. "Mr. Adams?"

"I asked if there was anything you would like to add." The man frowned and then smoothed his expression and folded his hands on the wooden table as he waited for my answer.

I cleared my throat, pretending like I'd been considering his question. "There's nothing I would like to add at this time. I'll go over the designs your teams come up with once you email them to me and let you have my thoughts then, but your people know what they're doing. I have faith that they’re going to come up with something awe-inspiring for this album. If there’s nothing else, we're adjourned."

Nods were exchanged around the table and then chairs scraped across the floor as they stood, said their goodbyes and casual chatter flowed between them as they walked out together. I sighed, collecting the insides of the folder they'd handed me.

Walking around the table, I made sure I left the place as neat as I found it and was about to leave when a soft knock at the door had me jerking my head up. Relieved to see it was Gerry and not Jared, I cradled my folder against my chest with one arm and flicked off the lights in the conference room with the other.

"Gerry," I said as I entered the hallway and closed the door behind me. "Was there something I could do for you?"

"No." He smoothed his already immaculate suit and fell into step beside me. "I just wanted to let you know I've sent our boys home for the day."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, Jared has been out of sorts. Thought it would be best if they took the afternoon off. I checked the calendar, and I didn't see anything scheduled with you, but since you're here, I thought I should tell you they weren't going to be around this afternoon."

"What do you mean Jared’s been out of sorts?" That wasn't like him at all.

In fact, I wouldn't even have thought he had it in him to be anything other than full-on, balls to the wall go at all times.

Gerry shrugged, pausing at the juncture of the hallway we were in and another and pointed in the opposite direction I'd already been turning toward. "I don't know what's going on with him. He says it's nothing, but he's not himself this week. I'm just hoping he can pull it together and come in tomorrow with his head back in the game."

He hadn't been himself this whole week? I hadn't known that. Nor would I have, since I'd been purposefully avoiding him at all cost. My job didn't require me to speak to him on a daily basis, so I’d decided to take the time to get my head screwed on right until I had to face him again.

If he'd been out of sorts all week, that meant I had to have had something to do with whatever was going on with him. Stopping myself before I could chase that rabbit down a path better known as ‘Wishful Thinking Lane,’ I smiled at Gerry. "Thanks for letting me know, I didn't have anything scheduled with them, but I appreciate you keeping me in the loop."

"No problem. You can take the day off, too, if you'd like."

"Thanks, but no. I have too much work to do. I'll see you back at the office?"

He nodded and headed off wherever it was he had to be.

The recording studio had confused me the first few times I'd been there, but I knew the place like the back of my hand now and made my way to my car without needing to think where I was going. Unfortunately, that freed up plenty of brain space for thoughts of Jared to invade.

Fortunately, however, my phone started buzzing in my purse, and I managed to banish all thoughts of He I Should Not Be Wasting My Time Thinking About. I didn't recognize the number on my screen and felt instantly nauseous when I recognized the sweet, simpering voice on the other end of the line.

"Ms. Diamond? This is Lesley Ann from Rock On Magazine. I did an interview with Jared last week."

How could I forget?

She was the reporter who’d conducted the interview during which it had become clear I was nothing but a notch on Jared's bedpost, probably not even a very big one at that. I had zero desire to speak to this woman, but it was my job. And I was damn good at my job.

"Of course. I sent over the pictures for you to choose the ones you want to use with the article. Did you need more shots of the band?"

"No, the ones you sent will do just fine."

Then why are you phoning me? I wanted to scream the question into the phone and then smash the damn thing against the wall, but even I could tell that would be a little dramatic.

"Actually," she continued almost hesitantly, "I was wondering if we could schedule another interview."

"I wasn't aware this was a series of articles."

When the publication first approached me, they'd pitched the article to me as a narrative from Jared's point of view of the making of the album so far and what Destitute was getting up to when they weren't making music.

"It's not. I just thought I could get some more detail and—"

"I'm afraid another interview isn't a possibility with everything the band has going on at the moment. If there were questions you didn't get around to asking during the first interview, feel free to forward them to my office, and we'll see what we can do to get you the answers you need. I was quite clear that the interview at this stage of their album process would be a one-off when that interview was arranged."

Annoying, uncharacteristic, and embarrassing as it was, that was my jealous side talking. I just didn't want her to have another interview with Jared, and the band didn't need it. It was also true that I'd told the publication when they first made contact with me that we were doing very few interviews at the moment, but mostly it was the jealousy thing.

But interview requests were streaming in from all over, and I didn't want to flood the media with Destitute just yet. My strategy since I'd started working with them a couple of months ago had been a more subtle one, and since it was working, I wasn't about to change it up now. Certainly not for this woman.

"I understand they must be very busy." She didn't sound disappointed or defeated, more like she was working another angle. "If you could perhaps just give me a way to get hold of Jared then. I tried to offer him my number after the interview, but he wouldn't take it. I really would like to get in touch with him."

I bet.

"Jared's been very busy. They all have been and will be for the next couple months." Their schedule was insane. So many people wanted to be them, to be famous, but they had no idea what it actually took. "Also, I'm not at liberty to give out any personal information of the band. I'm sure you understand."

Dejection colored her tone when she answered after a brief pause. "I guess I do. Goodbye, Ms. Diamond."

My heels echoing as they clicked against the tarmac in the parking structure while I made my way to my little red Audi, Lesley Ann's words played in my mind. She had no reason to lie to me, and I doubt very much that if she were, she would have admitted Jared had refused to take a number. Which meant she'd offered it to him before he came to my office that fateful afternoon, and he really had turned her down.

Why would he have done that? He'd gone so far as to say he would have hit on her if they weren't in an interview, and this must've happened once it was over. He had no reason to turn her down then, unless—

No. I stopped that thought in its tracks, but it was too late. Doubt was starting to creep in, and for the first time all week, I was beginning to feel bad for the way I'd talked to him that last time.

When he’d come to my office, I hadn't been prepared to listen. I hadn't given him a chance to get a word in edgewise before I was jumping down his throat and declared he was nothing but work to me. Was it at all possible that I'd pulled the trigger early?

I wouldn't have thought it was, but the information I'd received today pointed to the contrary.

Jared was so out of sorts that Gerry had sent the whole band home and had been like that all week. He'd also turned down an objectively beautiful woman's number and had come right to my office.

None of those things made him seem like a man who didn't care. So maybe he did care about me after all. Maybe he even cared more than I thought he did before.