CHAPTER 62

ALICIA

The plane's engines whirred as they cooled down. Seattle was gray and foggy with fine rain drizzling down. It was my first time in the city, but unfortunately, I hadn’t been able to see absolutely anything from the air.

Snowcapped mountains were barely visible through the fog in the distance as I stared out my window, the dark silhouettes of the city’s buildings rising up against it. I only wished I could see more.

Stepping off the plane, my heels hit the tarmac around the same time the narrow steps leading from the aircraft shook as Matt ran down them. Apparently, he wasn’t the biggest fan of flying, and I was learning that he was like a ball of uncontained energy as soon as we touched down.

“I’ll meet you at the car,” he called out, jogging backward before taking off for … somewhere. I sighed, running my hand through my rapidly frizzing hair as the weather won out over my straightening efforts from that morning.

A black umbrella popped up over my head, a stoic-looking steward appearing at my elbow. “Thanks,” I told the man, who nodded but didn’t acknowledge me otherwise.

Jared was next off the plane, grabbing the umbrella from the man with a smirk. “I got it.”

He didn’t put an arm around me or anything, but it was thrilling to know he just wanted to walk by my side. Angling my body slightly toward his, I peeked over my shoulder to make sure Jared’s gesture wasn’t being noticed by Gerry or any of the others. Relieved to see no one but Caleb looking twice at us, I fell into step with Jared.

Nick and Dom were behind us, talking to Gerry as they got handed their own umbrellas and hurried to catch up. Caleb brought up the rear, listening as Gerry lectured the guys on what he expected from them this weekend.

“Remember,” he said firmly. “This is your first live gig since the incident, and you have the interview after. You absolutely cannot show up drunk, hungover, or even appear to be slightly tipsy.”

“That’ll get the rumor mill going that Destitute has an alcohol abuse problem,” I added, hating to become part of Gerry’s lecture, but the band’s reputation was more important, and they needed to know what was at stake. “All of you know how quickly a rumor, true or not, can catch fire. The last thing we need is people obsessing about your partying when we want them saving their obsession for your music.”

“Obsession is such ugly word,” Dom mused. “Can we call it focus instead?”

Nick laughed, jumping right into a puddle in front of him to splash water over Dom’s pants. “Lighten up, Captain Logophile. We just want people talking about the music. That’s it.”

Dom’s cursed, jumping out of Nick’s way. “Logophile? When did you swallow a dictionary?”

“When I was eight,” Nick deadpanned. “It means someone who’s obsessed with words.”

“Loves words, actually,” Dom corrected, dodging Nick’s fist as it swung at his shoulder. “Someone who loves words.”

“You two are the worst,” Matt complained, clearly having gotten bored running off doing whatever and was now back with the group, looking considerably calmer for having had a minute to stretch his legs. “Assuming we weren’t talking about which one of them was the most annoying, what did I miss?”

“Best behavior until after the interview,” Caleb summarized Gerry’s speech perfectly.

Matt’s eyes narrowed as he studied Caleb. “Obviously. We’re not idiots.”

“You hide it well,” Jared joked from beside me, keeping as close to my side as he could without arousing suspicion.

Matt flipped him the bird, glancing at Nick. “We already said we’d hold off on partying until tomorrow night.”

“Good,” Gerry intervened. “Concentrate on delivering a stellar performance first and then an interview that will make our dear Alicia proud, and after that, you can go off and sow your wild oats or whatever you kids are calling it these days.”

“Deliver a stellar performance?” Nick echoed, his lips twitching up into a grin. “Talk about swallowing a dictionary, but you got it, boss. Best behavior.”

“Thank you.” Gerry’s relief clung to his words. He looked tired again this morning, his complexion pasty and his skin clammy. Worse than he looked at his house that morning Jared and I went to get him back to the band.

I was getting worried about him, but he waved me off when I asked if he was okay. Remembering my earlier concern, I slowed to ask him again since he seemed to be falling behind. Dom was walking next to him, and as I turned, I saw Gerry’s step falter.

Before he could fall, Dom noticed, and his arm shot out to steady Gerry. “You doing okay there?”

“I’m fine.” He repeated what he’d told me earlier, jaw sharpening as his shoulders squared, and he marched ahead.

Dom’s gray eyes met mine, a thin, worried crease between his eyebrows. He cocked his head as if to ask, “What’s wrong with him?”

I shrugged, shaking my head. I didn’t know what was going on either.

Jared’s eyes darkened as he watched the quick exchange between Dom and me, and he put his hand on my elbow to guide me forward. A small gesture, but one that made me smile into an eye roll. Leaning my head closer to his shoulder, I whispered, “Possessive much?”

“It’s not …” He trailed off, sighed, and then perked up, winking at me. “It wasn’t just that, but consider yourself warned. You make eyes at other men, the monster comes out to play.”

“So many questions come to mind,” I muttered, enjoying our private ribbing. “But first, does that mean you can’t make eyes at other women, and second, what monster?”

“I promised you exclusivity, didn’t I? Haven’t made eyes at other women since,” he replied, squeezing my elbow lightly. We were both wearing coats, which I hoped would make enough cover that no one would see his hand on me.

“And if you have to make eyes at other men,” he said, drawing my attention back to him, “could it not be my drummer? We have a show tomorrow night, you know. It would be a pity to have to replace him at the last second. He’s kind of good.”

“Is that where the monster comes in? In the answer to the ‘Why would Dom need replacing’ question?”

“Yup,” Jared answered cheerfully but didn’t give me anything more. We walked in silence with the others to the waiting car where our bags were already being loaded.

How was I ever going to travel by myself again after getting used to this kind of treatment with Destitute?

I sighed, shuddering as I remembered the last trip I took with Kelly. Jared gave me a questioning look as we waited to get into the car. “Cold?”

“No. I was just thinking about the unprecedented disaster my last trip with Kelly was and wondering how I’m going to face stuff like that again when I’m not traveling with you guys.”

“Oooh, I’m sensing a good story here.” Nick rubbed his palms together, blowing into them to warm his hands. “What happened?”

We piled into the limo. Gerry got in first and scooted all the way to the edge of one of the bench seats, letting his head fall back against the leather seat and closing his eyes. My earlier pang of worry returned, but for Gerry’s sake, I wouldn’t ask him again in front of everyone.

Instead, I kept them focused on me as I told them about how every stroke of bad luck that could hit on a trip, had hit the Diamond sisters on our last attempt at a vacation. Everything that could go wrong had happened to us, from our car breaking down while we were still on the way to the airport, which should’ve been a sign, to our flight being delayed for six hours and our luggage being lost, to both of us getting food poisoning while we waited hours for our transfer.

The guys cracked up as I told my story. Gerry smiled faintly but didn’t interject with questions as the others did. When I was done, the band revived the argument they’d been having on the plane over the best songs to play at their concert tomorrow night.

I relaxed into my seat, watching rain splatter onto the windows and trying to make out the city beyond. Jared was sitting next to me, and he leaned over slightly, his breath fanning my ear as he spoke quietly. “I know of one way to avoid having to travel like that again.”

“Yeah?” I was careful not to turn my head too much, hyperaware that if I did, our lips would be mere inches apart. Not good, given that we were surrounded by people. “What’s that?”

“Easy.” He shrugged. “You said it yourself. You don’t have to face stuff like that when you travel with us, so just keep traveling with us.”

He said it like it was the most obvious answer in the world, but I couldn’t help reading into it. I had to play it cool, though. “Is that your way of inviting yourself on our next sisterly adventure?”

“Yup. I’ll bring my brothers. We’ll make it a family affair.” My heartbeat sped up before I could talk some sense into myself. Quickly, I reminded myself, He doesn’t mean it like that.

Jared sat back after that, his thigh pressed to mine as he turned his attention to the great song debate.

Evening was falling by the time we got to the hotel. The guys grumbled about being hungry and made straight for the hotel bar. Gerry caught my arm before I could go the reception desk to check us in or follow them to the bar.

“Could we have a word before dinner later?” he asked, his voice quiet.

I nodded, a sense of foreboding creeping up on me. “Sure. I’ll meet you in an hour?”

“Sounds good.”

Gerry beat me to the hotel restaurant later, after we’d checked in. He was waiting in a booth set back into an alcove, sipping a glass of water. His eyes lifted as I approached, seeming even more tired than he had earlier. Dark circles were starting to form beneath them, and his shoulders weren’t as stiff as they usually were.

“Thank you for coming,” he greeted me. “Have a seat. I know you’ll be working later tonight, so I’ll make it quick. Water?”

“Please.”

He lifted a silver jug from the table and poured a glass, his features solemn as he pushed it across the table to me. I shrugged out of my coat and hung it over the back of my chair before sitting down. “What’s going on, Gerry? You don’t seem like yourself lately.”

“I’m not, and I’m sorry about that.” He struggled to meet my eyes. As soon as he did, I saw why. His were watery, glassy like he was fighting back tears. “There’s something I need to tell you, and I need you to give me your word that this stays between us for now.”

“Okay.”

“I’m not going to be able to go on tour with you.” His voice cracked, and he cleared his throat, regaining control of his emotions before continuing. “I have cancer. I start treatment soon, but no one knows about it yet.”

“What?” I blurted out. Of all the things I was expecting him to tell me, this was the last. Tears jumped to my eyes, and I struggled to keep them from falling. “You have to tell Destitute, Gerry. They’ll want to support you through this. So do I.”

“I know.” He exhaled deeply. “That’s why you can’t tell them, not until they’re on tour. They’ll want to postpone it. Cancel it even, since Jared’s on his ‘leave no man behind’ mission. I can’t allow them to do that. I won’t.”

“But—”

Overwhelming sadness in Gerry’s eyes silenced me. “I know, Alicia. It’s going to be hard keeping this from them, but you have to promise me. It’s the only way.”

His words stayed with me, echoing in my mind hours after our dinner when Jared showed up at my hotel room’s door. The second he saw me, he knew something was wrong. “What is it? What happened?”

“Nothing,” I lied. The lie came to wrap itself around my shoulders as soon as it was out of my mouth, its weight heavy and uncomfortable, but I didn’t have a choice. I had to pretend everything was okay for now, but I knew the news was going to destroy the band on tour.

More than anything, I wanted to confide in Jared. It was going to hit him hardest of all and looking at him every day while knowing this and not telling him was like lying to his face until the tour kicked off.

But it didn’t matter what I wanted because I’d promised Gerry I wouldn’t say a thing. And this was Gerry’s news, his decision.

Swallowing back my guilt, I tried my best to drum up a smile as I wrapped my arms around Jared. “Come on in.”

Fuck. This is going to suck.