CHAPTER 65

JARED

Whistling as I jogged up the stairs at Alicia’s office to pick her up for dinner, I couldn’t fight the grin on my lips. For the first time in really, really long time, I was happy. Like actually, truly happy.

Things were going great with the band. None of us were fighting for a change, practices for the tour were going well, and I had a beautiful woman in my bed every night who wasn’t only chasing after fame or money. Life was good.

Until I rounded the corner to her office and heard her voice and Gerry’s filtering out into the hall. The building was mostly empty since the sun was already setting outside, and her office door was open, their voices crystal clear.

“I went to see the oncologist this morning,” Gerry was saying. Oncologist? I paused at the end of the hall. Wasn’t that a—? “The cancer hasn’t spread.”

“Thank god,” Alicia exclaimed. “What did he say about your treatment? Has he given you a firm start date yet?”

Wait a second. Gerry. Oncologist. Cancer. Treatment. What the fuck?

My feet were carrying me toward her office before I so much as came to the inevitable conclusion. Gerry has cancer.

Without knocking, I walked into her office. “What the fuck is going on?”

Both Gerry and Alicia looked startled to see me, seated at the small sitting area in the corner of her office against two floor-to-ceiling windows.

Alicia recovered first. “Jared. Hi.”

“How much did you hear?” Gerry asked, resigned. He told me to take a seat with them, but I was too riled up.

Pacing the length of her office, I shoved my hands in my pockets. “You went to see a doctor about getting treatment for your cancer.”

“I did.” Gerry nodded. He sighed and rose to his feet, placing both of his hands on my shoulders to stop me from pacing. “I’ve been diagnosed with cancer. I won’t be joining you on this tour.”

All my earlier elation evaporated as fast as air from a popped balloon. Emotion balled in my throat as I searched for the right words. None came to me.

Finally, I managed to choke out. “We need you.”

Gerry’s lips lifted into a wry grin. “I know, and I’ll be back. I just won’t be on tour.”

“Then we should postpone.” The idea jumped into my head, and I held onto it. “I’ll let the guys know and—”

“No,” Gerry said, both of his eyes boring into mine. “This is why I didn’t want you to know before the tour started. You have to go. You’re not postponing or canceling a single thing because of this. I won’t allow it.”

“You can’t make us play.” I crossed my arms. I knew I was being stubborn, but we couldn’t just leave Gerry behind and jet off on a world tour while he was fighting for his life. There were so many things wrong with that scenario.

The band would back me. I knew they would. We’d all lost so many people in our lives, they wouldn’t want to abandon one of the few left who really mattered to us all either.

Gerry took a deep breath, giving his head one firm shake. “I can’t make you, no, but if you do this Jared, if you cancel, you will be giving this disease power over my life, over your lives. I don’t want it to have that. I refuse to back down for a fucking disease, and you shouldn’t either.”

“I’m not trying to give it power,” I exploded, my arms shooting out to my sides. “I’m trying to tell you we’ll be here for you.”

“And you still will. We’ll talk often. I’ll keep you updated on my treatment just as you’ll keep me updated on the tour.”

I replayed past tours in my mind, lingering for the first time on all that Gerry did while we showed up at concert venues and played. “We couldn’t go without you anyway. No way we’d get anything done without you.”

“I’ve taught Alicia all the things she needs to know to fill in for me on tour. She’s not taking over my job, but she’ll just be keeping my seat warm until you get back. Listen to her, and you’ll all be just fine. We’ve been working together, and she knows what to do.”

Alicia was quiet, letting us talk. But she nodded in agreement with what Gerry was saying when my eyes sought hers out. In the back of my mind, it occurred to me that if she’d been working with Gerry, that meant she had known and didn’t tell me, but looking into his eyes, I could read his expression clearly.

Gerry had a game plan, and he didn’t want us to fuck it up. I took a deep breath and thought over all I’d learned in the last few minutes. Gerry hadn’t mentioned a single thing we could do to make this easier for him other than not to give power to his disease.

He asked us to go on tour and to trust Alicia with his job while we did. I understood where he was coming from, but it wasn’t my decision alone. Before he told one of us, his plan of us only finding out on tour might’ve worked, but now that I knew, I had to let the other guys know. It was their decision too.

“I’m calling in the band. We need to decide on this together.”

Gerry huffed out a frustrated sigh. “For fuck’s sake, Jared! I’m not dying. I just need to get through chemo. Unfortunately, that means I need to miss the tour, but I’ll be back. Sure, when I found out, I tried to retire because I didn’t know what else to do. Destitute was broken up anyway, and it didn’t seem like it would hurt anyone. Things are different now. You have to go, and you have to kick this tour’s fucking ass.”

“The guys need to know about this. I’m not trying to be an asshole here, and I’m not trying to be difficult, but they’ll never forgive me if I don’t tell them, and if we don’t all sit down with this together.”

Gerry closed his eyes, and when he opened them again, I saw the resolution in them. “Call them. You’re right. I should tell them about this myself.”

I pulled my phone out of pocket and opened a group chat we had but rarely used. Typing fast, I told them all to get their asses to the office. Right now. An hour later, it was dark outside, and we were all seated in Gerry’s office. Initially, they all had the exact same reaction I had: Hell, no, we weren’t going anywhere.

As the shock started to subside some, Gerry calmly explained the situation and told us postponing the tour was silly. “You guys have overcome a lot to finish this album. And even if you stay, I’m not letting any of you come to the hospital to hold my hand while I get the treatment, so staying behind in LA serves no purpose.”

“Fair point,” Nick said, sitting on the armrest of one of the couches in Gerry’s office.

Caleb glowered at him. “It’s called moral support.”

“There are thousands upon thousands of people in this city right now battling this disease. Being in the same city as them isn’t bringing them any moral support. It won’t be different with me. You can give me moral support from anywhere in the world. Over the phone. Which is the closest I’d allow you to me anyway.”

“Another good point,” Matt said.

This time, no one glowered. We were giving Gerry a chance, and slowly but surely, what he was saying was starting to make sense.

“What kind of cancer is it?” Dom asked finally. We were all waiting for Gerry to get there, but since he hadn’t said anything, it was time to ask.

“Prostate.” His face was expressionless.

“What’d the doc say about your prognosis?” Nick asked.

“He’s fairly positive. They caught it early during a routine checkup.”

Caleb put his elbows on his knees, resting his chin on his steepled fingers. “What can we do?”

Gerry looked around the room and made eye contact with each of us in turn. “You can go on your tour, listen to what Alicia tells you, and come back safe. That’s what I really need from you guys.”

One by one, we nodded. If that was what he needed, that was what we were doing.

“Okay,” Dom said, voicing what we were all thinking. “If that’s what we need, we’ll do it. Good luck, Gerry.”

Our meeting ended shortly after that. The guys and Gerry left, walking out together. I waited for Alicia to grab her stuff. When she was done, she slung her purse across her shoulder and took my hand. “How are you doing with the news?”

I contemplated her question before answering. Threading our fingers together, I gave her hand a squeeze and pulled her to my side. “I’ll be fine.”

As long as I had her hand in mine, I really felt like I would be.