Chapter 9

Jay

The party passed in a fog. Less than 12-hours removed, and Jay couldn’t recall one word of his speech from the previous night. He’d chosen to remember nothing except the details of his time with Kasey, every moan and plea for more was embedded in his mind, far deeper than he cared to admit.

In an urge that was unfamiliar for him, he felt the need to send her flowers, or call to make sure everything was okay between them. Kasey had made it clear that she wanted nothing more from him, which was what he usually wanted from women, so the desire to do more left him in a confused state.

He’d hoped golfing with Mitchell would clear his mind, but was finding himself easily distracted as they made their way to the ninth hole.

“How’d it go with Kasey?” Mitchell asked.

“She’s on board. You were right, she was no easy sale, but I think she is excited to work together,” Jay tried to sound nonchalant about the deal, hoping his friend wouldn’t read through him as he always did.

“I figured if she showed up to the party, she’d probably decided to join the team,” Mitchell smiled, happy with the accomplishment.

“Yeah, she told me she still wants to discuss the details, but I imagine everything will be sorted by Monday.”

“That’s just what we need. Renee has been really attacking our romance department, and Kasey is a genius with those artistic writers. That new book by her latest author is a smash, and the sequel can be released under Passions, to a much better response. All she needs is a team behind her, and we can definitely provide that.” Mitchell loved talking shop on the golf course, and usually Jay did too, but today his thoughts were scrambled.

“Renee is a nonfactor,” he dismissed their biggest rival.

Renee Rockwell was an adversary that wanted to beat Jay Canton more than she wanted to win. Every move from her was strategic with a conniving spirit, something that had built a wall of resentment between the rivaling firms. Every chance she got, she tried to one-up Jay, offering backroom deals to his employees, constantly attempting to steal talent.

In the industry, her reputation preceded her as a woman who didn’t play fair. Ethics were nonexistent for Renee. She did whatever she wanted, when she wanted, without a thought to the consequences.

“I don’t like the lady either, but you have to admit she is making an impact,” Mitchell was less affected by Renee, since her vendetta was almost exclusively aimed at Jay, though he never knew why.

Downplaying her capabilities was the only way Jay could stay sane when dealing with his arch nemesis, who seemed to follow his career more closely than a fan. She studied his every move, always re-creating his innovative sales techniques, trying her best to catch him off guard with new tactics.

Of course, she was good, he wouldn’t think about her next power play if she wasn’t. But there was something about discussing her aloud that gave her more power, and Jay didn’t like that.

“Kasey will blow her out of the water,” Jay waved, deciding he didn’t want to discuss Renee any further.

“Speaking of Kasey. I know I don’t have to say this, Jay, but don’t complicate things by sleeping with her. We all know how quickly you are to move on from someone.”

Jay reached for his nine iron before walking to the tee, hoping his best friend did not pick up on the change in his demeanor. He wasn’t expecting a warning from Mitchell, and didn’t want to lie to him about what had happened between him and Kasey, so instead he focused on what he would admit.

“I’m just not interested in one night stands anymore. Just having sex is a little old. I’m tired of moving from one woman to the next,” Jay shared before swinging his club, launching the golf ball high into the air.

“I have to say, I was a bit shocked to learn you were staying in again this weekend. You’ve settled down, man, no one can deny that. They say every man has his time, maybe this is yours.”

Jay couldn’t find the words to respond to Mitchell, because he was just coming to terms with the strange feelings himself. It wasn’t often that he stayed home for two weekends in a row. His old life suddenly seemed boring to him—hanging out with people he barely knew before spending the night with a woman he’d never see again.

“You need to get married, that will solve all those problems,” Mitchell shrugged, but from the look on his face, Jay knew he was serious about his suggestion.

“I don’t know that I would be good at that either,” Jay smirked, finding it difficult to even imagine himself in a committed relationship.

Since college, he hadn’t been in an exclusive relationship, choosing instead to focus on his business career. While it afforded him financial riches beyond his wildest dreams, it was never a life he envisioned for himself.

“What are you so afraid of?” Mitchell asked in mid swing, as if his question was not as serious as the words spoken.

“Is that really a question?” Jay asked, when Mitchell’s ball fell far in the distance.

“Sure, it is. Marriage is the answer you’re looking for—the security, lack of mystery, continued involvement—all signs lead to the same exit, Jay.” Mitchell was blunt, yet comforting, trying to fill in the gaps for his best friend.

“Honestly, Mitchell. Can you see me as someone’s husband?”

“Well,” Mitchell began, pausing at Jay’s eyes before continuing, “Maybe that’s all in your head. You know what you want, and what isn’t working for you, but you keep finding a way to make your current lifestyle work when clearly it doesn’t.” Mitchell said, more transparent than ever.

Jay always felt like the type of man that should deter women from falling in love with him, knowing he would consistently choose professional considerations over personal at every turn. Mitchell was the relationship type, and through the years he had found a way to accept his position as a bystander, one that would not receive the type of support someone in his partner’s position received.

“What isn’t working?” Jay raised his hand, pretending to be confused, although he completely understood Mitchell’s sentiment.

“Jay, you’re the most eligible bachelor in five states. You have your pick of the women, but always find something wrong with every candidate. What is it?”

He knew what was holding him back, but found it impossible to share his feelings on the golf course. Mitchell could never understand why Jay would ever turn down a model, or ignore the serious advances of women that seemed unattainable to the average man.

“They just want me for my money.”

It was the most vulnerable he’d ever been. Jay was never one to admit the possibility that women wanted him for anything less than the charisma that dripped from every pore whenever he encountered a stranger, male or female.

Their success made them targets, but as two different men, Jay and Mitchell found different ways to answer to the heavy burden placed upon them. Determined to stay in the position of power, Mitchell chose his path when he met his wife, knowing the security of a family was his best route.

Jay was the opposite—convincing himself that he could be the sole answer to his problems regardless of the obstacles. Needing a woman was more difficult to admit to Mitchell than the more impossible tasks as a business man.

“You can’t really think that,” Mitchell had the nerve to laugh as he packed the golf cart, preparing for what was sure to be a misunderstanding.

The two rode along in silence, Mitchell thinking about how his best friend was the most successful and sought after man he’d ever known. Jay, on the other hand, could not understand how Mitchell did not see his own value— a family who loved him, regardless of his last deal or whatever professional success he achieved.

Kasey was independent of Passion Publishing, an entity so directly connected to Jay that he was unable to separate the two. Merging the two, in many ways, was quite dangerous. What if he just wanted to gain her submission? Could they work together and find a benefit in their partnership?

“You can’t be surprised by that,” Jay huffed, pulling away from the ninth hole as Mitchell looked on in disbelief.

“Of course, I am. And you can’t act shocked when you know I’ve been out in the clubs with you.” Mitchell said, grabbing a granola bar from the center console.

“But I don’t want to marry the girl that delivers my drinks in a nightclub, Mitchell,” Jay reminded him while pulling up to the next hole.

“I thought you didn’t want to get married?”

Mitchell answered with a subliminal question of everything Jay stood for while stepping from the golf cart, looking back to a contemplating Jay. Grabbing his club, Mitchell returned his gaze, awaiting the answer from the business partner who had shown him such fearless bravery in every other life situation.