Chapter Twenty-One
Ryan
I wasn’t sure what I would’ve done without Blaire being there for me. I would’ve probably gone into some sort of depression. But with her by my side, I almost forgot about what was going on. I knew I would have to deal with it when I got back, and I wasn’t looking forward to talking to Nick about it, but for now, I just kept it to myself. The only time I thought about it was as I went to bed at night. But then Blaire would turn around and kiss me, and it would be forgotten. And it wasn’t just Blaire that was keeping my mind off everything. Trinity was very aware that I would be leaving soon and she had been holding onto me. It was impossible to think about anything else with Trinity by my side. She was full of beans and very uplifting.
I’d never wanted a child of my own. I watched what my father went through and how much he struggled to look after so many kids without the help of my mother. Perhaps I would’ve had a different viewpoint had she been with us our whole life. I was so young when she died, and I barely remembered her. The only thing I remembered was one minute having a happy father and the next having a stranger take his place. My father became a different man completely. I watched him abuse Brady, the only kid willing to stand up to him, and I remember thinking to myself that I never wanted to have children. But my father was an alcoholic at the time, and very depressed. He was a whole new man now. And Trinity made me wonder if my decision to not have children was perhaps all wrong. I was sure that no matter how hard things were for Reed that he couldn’t imagine his life without her.
That night we decided to go for dinner together as Blaire and I were leaving the following day. Reed was supposed to organize somewhere for us to go, but an hour before he had told us that he had forgotten to make a reservation. He called up the restaurant, and they were now fully booked. Blaire mentioned that she’d heard of a great restaurant nearby and would see if she could get us in.
“Okay, I have the reservation,” she’d said, and we’d all looked at her in surprise. She was in Seattle for the first time, and she was the one calling the shots.
“Hey,” she said when everyone looked at her. “I have connections you know.”
“So, where are we going? Must I dress smartly?”
“Yeah, it’s pretty smart. I think we should all dress up.”
That was an hour ago. Blaire had gone missing with Trinity as the two of them decided to get ready together. I was sitting inside the main house with Reed and waiting for them to arrive. Reed kindly put the TV on in order to keep us distracted. Without the TV we would more than likely both find ourselves making small talk, and the small talk would eventually lead to talk about what was really going on. I didn’t want to talk about the head trauma, and I was sure he didn’t, either. I had no idea what we were even watching, and I had a feeling that Reed didn’t know, either. Every now and again there would be laughter from the TV, and the two of us would chuckle in rhythm with it, even though neither us found it funny. I heard Reed sigh and cast a sideways glance at me, and I wondered if he was going to bring up what was going on. I looked straight ahead and refused to look his way. I breathed a sigh of relief when I heard the door open behind us.
I turned around and gasped at the sight of Blaire and Trinity. They’d both decided to wear baby blue dresses. Somehow, in that tiny little suitcase of hers, Blaire had an outfit that matched one of Trinity’s. Blaire looked absolutely breathtaking, and Trinity looked adorable. Blaire’s dress was tight around her chest, and then flared ever so slightly until it stopped just below her knees. Trinity’s dress went all the way down to the floor, and she kept twirling around. Both of them had their hair down, with slight curls at the ends. I saw Reed gulp beside me and I wondered if he was remembering a time when his wife was still around.
“Wow, you girls look amazing,” Reed said. “Trinity! I love your hair. You look beautiful.”
She beamed. “Thank you. Blaire did it for me. She has this thing that straightens your hair, but when you wrap your hair around it, then it also curls it. It’s so cool.”
I smiled at them. I walked over to Blaire and kissed her gently on the mouth. “You look incredible. Then I bent down and kissed Trinity lightly on the nose. “You look incredible too.”
She chuckled. “Thank you, Uncle Ryan. I am a princess, and she is a queen.”
I laughed. “That sounds about right.”
We clambered into the car together while Blaire navigated using her GPS. The roads were starting to become more familiar, and when I turned to Blaire, I said, “Are we going to one of the places we saw when I was showing you around the city?”
She grinned. “We certainly are.”
“Ah, I thought as much. You had your eye on a few places that day.”
“Yeah, and this place looks amazing.”
Then I burst out laughing when I saw where she had taken us. The familiar restaurant was brimming with people already.
“Hot dogs? Did we really dress up for hot dogs?”
Blaire burst out laughing. “Hey, it’s my last night. I couldn’t leave without having these again. I thought you might say no if I suggested it, so I decided to pretend we were going somewhere else. Who knew I was such a hot dog person? And I thought I’d throw you off by making you dress up.”
Trinity giggled. “Yay! Can I have the chocolate milkshake, Daddy? Can I? Can I?”
Reed laughed. “Of course you can. I think that’s what we’ll all have, actually.”
We got out and made our way to the table that she had reserved. I looked at her and shook my head. “I cannot believe we are having hot dogs for third time since being in Seattle.”
“Trust me,” she said, “neither can I. This is the last thing I expected to eat while I was here. It’s probably a good thing that we don’t have one by us. I seem to have no control when it comes to this place.”
“Is it really your last night?” Trinity complained.
I smiled sadly at her. “It is. We have to go back. But I promise we’ll visit again soon.”
“What about Blaire? Can’t she stay?”
I put a hand to my heart. “Oh, Trinity. You hurt your uncle with your words. So would you rather I stay or would you rather Blaire stay?”
I could see that she took the question seriously. She looked from Blaire to me and back to Blaire again. “Can you both stay?”
I smiled. I knew she wanted Blaire to stay, but she didn’t want to hurt my feelings. Her voice had come out timid and soft when she asked the question.
“We’ll come visit soon,” I said. “And you can come and visit us too.”
“That would be cool! Can we daddy?” she said and turned to Reed. “Can we go and visit Uncle Ryan and Blaire? It will be fun. We can go on the plane. And we can even bring Blaire hot dogs to eat so that she doesn’t miss them too much.”
Reed grinned. “Sounds like a plan. But aren’t you sick of your Uncle Ryan? I mean, I had to live with this guy for many years. I used to get sick of being around him.”
She chuckled. “No, I don’t. He’s cool.”
“Am I cooler than your dad?” I said to her.
Her eyes widened. “I don’t know.”
Blaire shook her head. “How can you make her choose between her dad and her uncle? You boys are so cruel. Is this what it was like growing up in the Maxwell family? I can picture this back and forth going on all the time.”
“Oh, growing up in the Maxwell family was something else, let me tell you. You had to be tough. I mean, five brothers together and one father. Can you just imagine the level of testosterone that was running through that house? We also have a whole bunch of male cousins who we used to be close with back in the day. That’s a lot of boys and not a lot of girls. Imagine!”
Blaire shuddered. “I’m not sure I want to know. That must’ve been something. So, did the two of you always get along?”
I looked at Reed and chuckled. “Not really. I mean, look at us. We’re complete opposites. I always wanted to go out and see my friends, and Reed just wanted to read his books. Hey,” I said and laughed. “I just realized that your name is Reed and you like to read. Why have I never noticed that before?”
Reed laughed. “You haven’t? I thought that all my life. Well, you see, it’s because I’m the smarter one. It took you all these years to figure that one out.”
“You may be book smart, but I’m street smart,” I said.
“Actually, I can’t deny that. We were polar opposites. But to be honest, it wasn’t that we didn’t get along or that we fought or anything. We just sort of went about our own lives. I think that’s what happens when you have so many brothers. You’re not forced to get along with each other. You just do your own thing. And, as he said, I was more interested in the characters in my books than the people around me. I used to sometimes wish I was more like Ryan,” Reed admitted to Blaire. “Not that I ever told him that, though.”
“I don’t believe you,” I said. “You have never once told me that you wanted to be like me.”
“It’s true. And of course, I didn’t tell you! You were always the super cool one. Everyone wanted to be like you. Everyone wanted to actually be you. You were the popular one. I used to look at you and wonder how you got to be so cool and confident.”
I laughed. “Really? That’s not how I saw it at all. I always wanted to be more like you. I mean, you could sit for hours and read, and then you’d spurt out all this knowledge that you had learned. I would read one page and then get bored. I felt so stupid around you. I used to think that it was unfair that you had all the brains. I hated feeling like I didn’t know anything.”
Reed laughed. “If only you had told me that growing up. I had no idea.”
“Ah, look at you boys now. Finally admitting that you like each other,” Blaire said and chuckled. “Actually makes me wish I had a sister now.”
I grinned at Reed. “I guess it’s not all that bad.”
“Nah, it’s not. But let’s not tell the others.”
“Oh, we’re definitely not telling them!” I said.
“I also don’t have any sisters,” Trinity said to Blaire and could sense Reed stiffen beside her. I was hoping that this wouldn’t be the time that she suddenly brought up the conversation about her mother.
Thankfully, Blaire came to the rescue. “I have an idea,” Blaire said. “Why don’t we become sisters? I’ve always wanted a younger sister.”
Trinity’s eyes widened in excitement at the thought. “I’ve always wanted an older sister. This is so cool. Daddy, can Blaire become my sister?”
Reed laughed and shot Blaire a grateful look. “I think that’s a wonderful idea.”
Trinity beamed. “This is so cool.”
We had a wonderful evening eating burgers and drinking chocolate milkshakes, and for a blissful hour, I didn’t even think about my head. I was still taking Advil until I figured out what I was going to do. The pills, with the combination of the company and the food, worked wonders for me that evening. I was glad that we had decided to go out. The busier I kept, the less likely I was to go into depression. Although, I could feel it creeping up on me, rearing its ugly head. I was going to have to deal with the situation soon enough. But not now.
“Daddy, I need to go to the bathroom,” Trinity said suddenly.
Trinity was known for needing the bathroom out of the blue, so this was nothing new for us. Reed nodded and started to get up, but Blaire stopped him.
“I’ve got this,” Blaire said. “Come on, sister; let’s go together. I also need to go.”
“Bye, Daddy, I’m going to the bathroom with my sister,” Trinity said, and Reed chuckled.
The moment they were gone, Reed turned to me. “Oh good, I hate bathroom duty. I used to take her into the men’s room with me when she was younger, but now she insists on going to the women’s. I get a lot of funny looks from the women in there.”
I laughed as I pictured the scene. “Knowing Trinity, she just does it because she knows it makes you feel uncomfortable. Well, she has Blaire now.”
Reed smiled. “She’s a good person.”
“Trinity? Yeah, she’s a great kid.”
He laughed. “No, not Trinity! Blaire. I liked her when I first met her, but I was worried that she was going to turn out to be fake. But, now that I’ve spent a few days with her, I can honestly tell that she’s a genuine person.”
I grinned. “I think so too. She has a way of making everyone around her feel good, doesn’t she?”
“She does. And Trinity has taken to her big time. I think she’s done Trinity a lot of good this week. I actually didn’t realize how much she needed something like this. Although, she’s going to be sad when you guys leave.”
“I’m glad, Reed. We should come more often, that way she won’t feel sad when we leave.”
“You should come more often. And bring Blaire with again. Hang on to this one, Ryan,” Reed said. I was surprised because not so long ago he had told me to be careful of her.
“You think?” I said.
“Oh yeah. Come on, we both know you’ve been with some really shitty girls in the past. I’ve never before seen you look at someone the way you look at Blaire. I can’t believe how little you’ve known her. The two of you look like you’ve known each other forever. You’re very comfortable together. This one is worth keeping. Don’t let this one go.”
I was just about to say something else, but Blaire and Trinity were walking back toward us. They looked adorable in their matching blue outfits, and I noticed that so many people had stopped to look at them walk. It was hard not to feel happy at the sight of them. Blaire smiled at me as she got back and I thought about what Reed had just said. He was right. I didn’t want to let this one go.
When we got home, we said our goodbyes and made our way to the back house for our final night together. A strange sensation had come over me after the talk with Reed. I couldn’t stop thinking about how good I felt when I was around Blaire.
“You’re smiling,” she said to me.
“Yeah, I am.”
“Were the hot dogs really that good?” she said.
I laughed. “Oh, Sunny, it’s not just the hot dogs that are making me smile.”
There was no more doubt in my mind. She was the one that I wanted to be with. I wasn’t going to tell her yet how I felt. It was still too new in my own head to comprehend, and I didn’t want to mess it up. But there was something else I could do instead . . .