Chapter Thirty-One
Josh
Seeing Reagan with Frank at Dana’s café only served to prove that she was a spy. There was a small part of me that had hoped I’d be wrong, and I was going to give her the benefit of the doubt and the chance to explain herself. But the moment I saw the two of them together, that resolve came crashing down. I felt sick to my stomach knowing that she had fooled me all this time. I spent the entire evening in bed, willing the time to go away. Reagan tried to phone me, but I switched my phone off and refused to call her back. I sent her a message just before going to bed that night telling her that under no circumstances could she come back to work. She replied telling me that she wanted the chance to explain herself, but I told her that it was too late. When I woke up that morning, I saw I had no more messages from her.
I was surprised that I was even able to sleep the night before. I had tossed and turned for at least two hours, but the exhaustion and stress finally took hold of me. But, despite the sleep, I woke up feeling even more tired than usual. I climbed into the shower and tried to scrub my feelings away, but it didn’t work. I forced a slice of toast down my throat, gulped down a strong cup of coffee, and made my way to the office.
“Everything okay? You look rough today,” Ralph said the moment he saw me. I knew that someone would say something the moment they saw me that day. I had seen myself in the mirror, and I knew that I didn’t look the same as usual. I looked like a man that had been slapped in the face by someone that he loved. I looked like someone that would never be the same again.
I shook my head. “Not really. I’m exhausted. Do me a favor, will you? Call everyone to the conference room now.”
“Uh, sure. But, do you want to talk about anything? What’s going on?”
“No. I don’t want to talk just yet. Can you call the meeting? It’s urgent. I’m heading right to the conference room now to wait for everyone.”
“Okay, sure thing. Oh, but Reagan isn’t in yet. I have no idea where she is. It’s not like her to be late.”
“Forget about her. Call the meeting.”
I stormed into the conference room without bothering to explain myself. I felt a little angry at Ralph for being the one to let her in, although I knew it wasn’t really his fault. He’d always been part of the team and always been on my side. If she had fooled me so easily then she could’ve easily have fooled him too. I knew my anger toward him would dissipate over time. If I was angry at him, it was only because I was looking for someone to blame now that Reagan wasn’t in front of me. But it wasn’t his fault, and I’d have to tell him that. I sat in the conference room and waited for everyone to arrive. Everyone seemed to be in an excited mood, but I could feel the shift the moment they laid eyes on me. I wasn’t smiling at all. Once everyone was there, I stood up and looked them all over. I was sure that they could sense I was about to give them some bad news.
“Okay everyone, thank you all for coming in this morning. I have something to tell you all that you’re not going to be happy about. Something that has taken me by complete surprise too. There have been a few spies in the office, which can only mean they have been working for the opposition. Papers have been stolen, and someone we all trusted has been feeding information to the other team. It’s come as a huge shock to me, and I’m not entirely too sure what the implications of this are going to be. Unfortunately, I have to come to terms with the fact that we may not win because of this. Sadly, there are only a few more days, and if they unleash something on the very last day, then I’m not quite sure how we will recover. We have to be positive and to keep doing what we’ve always been doing. It’s all we can do. I’d like to thank each and every one of you for your loyalty. If anyone sees anything strange happening, or anything newsworthy, please come and tell me immediately, or talk to Ralph if you can’t find me. Hopefully we’ve done enough to still win.”
Naturally, everyone had questions but I told them that there was no time for questions that day. There was too much work to be done. From not seeing Reagan in the meeting room, or coming to work that day, they would know that she was the one that had been a spy. I didn’t need to tell them. I knew that they’d all be just as shocked as I had been. Reagan had been one of those people that had just fit in well with everyone. She’d made friends in the office quickly and people had put their trust in her. I supposed that was how she got people to tell her things.
“It’s not good for us to dwell on what has happened. We can all talk about it next week. For now, let’s just concentrate on moving forward.”
I dismissed them all and the moment they were all gone, I made my way to my office. I could feel how the mood had now shifted. The constant chatter had moved from excited to nervous, and everyone seemed to be on edge. It felt a lot like it had before Reagan had arrived on the scene. She had lifted the mood, but now she had brought it right down again. I still couldn’t believe that she could do something like that. It made me feel sick to my stomach.
I shook my head and switched on my computer. Reagan had taken what I said to heart and had stopped trying to call me or send me messages. I was both glad and not glad at the same time. I almost wanted her to keep trying so that I could think that maybe she really wasn’t at fault. Her silence only served to confirm it all. Ralph, as expected, stuck his head around the door and raised his eyebrows at me.
“Josh, what the hell is going on? Where’s Reagan?”
I sighed. I was glad to see that he had no idea what was going on. At least that meant he was still on my side.
“Turns out she’s not as clean as we thought she was.”
“What do you mean? Surely she wasn’t the one involved? She was so passionate about working for us. She believed in what you stood for. There’s no way it was her. It was that other woman. Remember? The one in the green jacket. I saw her take something.”
“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean it was only her. Look, I don’t really want to talk about it. But things have happened and we are going to have to just move on from it. We only have a few more days and we need to concentrate on moving forward. You and I can talk about this next week if you’d like. But don’t worry, Ralph. I don’t blame you. I know that she’s your friend and that you didn’t suspect a thing.”
“I just can’t believe it. I can’t.”
“That’s how I felt too. I better get back to work. Please don’t call her, either. The last thing we need is to get her involved again. We can deal with that next week.”
Ralph walked out with a very sad look on his face that more than likely matched my own. I spent the rest of the day barely talking to anyone. A few people tried to find out what had happened but I didn’t tell them. I couldn’t bring myself to talk about it. Also, I knew that if I told one person, I would have to tell the rest, and I just didn’t feel like thinking about it. People had fooled me in the past, women had cheated on me, bad things had happened, but this felt worse than any of those things put together.
Kason called me in the afternoon to see how I was doing, and I felt an overwhelming urge to get out of the office. I suggested we met up for a round of golf and he eagerly agreed. He was just as keen to get out of his house as I was to get out the office. When he saw me, he shook his head and whistled.
“You look tired, man. Don’t worry; you’ve only got a few more days of this. I know it’s not the end of the work, but it will at least be the end of the stress.”
“Yeah,” I said and walked out with him to the golf course. Kason still didn’t look like his old self. He looked tired and thin. I wondered if I now matched the way he looked.
We played for a little while without saying much, until Kason turned to look at me. His face was rife with concern.
“What’s going on? I know this is not just stress from the campaign. You usually thrive on things like this, so I know that something else has happened. Want to talk about it?”
I sighed and told him that there had been spies in the office who could ruin everything that we had worked so hard to achieve.
“Spies, huh? I can’t say I’m surprised. These things happen all the time.”
“Well, they shouldn’t have happened to me. I should’ve known that something suspicious was going on. I should’ve stopped it.”
“Stopped it? Wait, who exactly was this spy?”
“It was Regan.”
“Who? Oh, that woman you were telling me about. The one they hired as your public relations woman. Did something happen between the two of you?”
“The one that you told me to stay away from in case she ends up being like your cleaning lady. That one,” I said bitterly.
“Uh oh. What happened?”
“We got involved. And yeah, I know you told me not to, and I know that it was a stupid thing to do. But this wasn’t just some woman I found attractive. Reagan was more than that. We . . . or should I say I was starting to fall for her. And you know that’s not something I say lightly. It wasn’t just a hookup, Kason. I made her dinner; she spent the night. We did more than just have sex together. And we promised each other that after the campaign was over, we would finally start something real together. We kept it quiet so we didn’t ruin the campaign with any rumors. I don’t understand how she could’ve done this to me.”
“And you’re sure it was her?”
I nodded. “I’m sure. I found evidence on her desk. She had all this information on me that she had dug up. Things that could really work against me should the media find out. And I caught her talking to the opposition more than once. I’m not sure what she is planning to do, but there’s no doubt in my mind that she’s against me and not for me. And it’s killing me, Kason. It’s killing me.”
Kason looked at me in a way that I’ve never seen him look at me before.
“What’s that look for?” I asked.
“You’re in love with her,” he said. “I’ve never seen you in love with anyone.”
“Was. I was in love with her. Past tense.”
“Are you sure?”
“What am I supposed to do? Continue liking someone that has done something like this to me? I can’t.”
“What if she was planning to do something at the start, but then she fell in love with you and changed her mind? I know it’s still an awful thing to do, but maybe she wasn’t going to do anything with that information. Maybe her feelings for you were real.”
“Maybe. But it still meant that she lied to me. It still meant that she planned to sabotage everything for me. Even if she changed her mind, it doesn’t take away from the fact that she was going to.”
“Yeah, but it also doesn’t change the fact that you are in love with her. Are you sure you want to ruin everything because of this?”
“You really want me to start a relationship with someone that was willing to ruin my life?”
“If she changed her mind after meeting you then maybe you shouldn’t be so harsh on her. Look at me. I made a mistake. Sometimes people just need a second chance. Maybe her motives weren’t as bad as you think. Maybe she really does love you.”
“But maybe she doesn’t,” I stated.
“This is the first time that I have ever heard you talk about someone like this before. This is more than just liking someone. You’ve fallen in love with her, and I can see that you are still in love with her. Maybe you shouldn’t have let her go so easily. You shouldn’t have let her slip away. Maybe, just like me, she deserves a second chance.”
The thought of being with Reagan again filled me with joy, but the moment I thought of it I also thought about what she had done to me. I wasn’t sure that I could let that go. I had trusted her, and she had betrayed that trust. She’d also done it all so easily. I had never once suspected a thing. If she could lie about something as big as working for the opposition, she could probably also lie about her feelings for me. It meant that she wasn’t at all the person I thought she was.
I shook my head. “No, I don’t think I can forgive her. It’s not the same as the mistake you made. This one is so much worse. She lied to my face, Kason. I can’t ever forget that.”