Chapter Twenty-One
Reed
For two nights, I didn’t sleep a wink. When I got to work on Monday, I knew that I looked terrible. Even Trinity had mentioned it when I left home that morning, and I’d made up some excuse about staying up to work on my laptop and how it was my fault for not getting some rest. Kennedy had looked worried but she didn’t say anything because Trinity was around. I owed her a good explanation as to what was happening. Just seeing her that morning made me feel guilty for what was going on. The recent events hadn’t been my fault, but it wasn’t fair that Kennedy had to get involved too. And she was involved, just by being in a relationship with me.
That train of thought led me to think about what was going on between Kennedy and I in the first place. We were together, but not together, sneaking in kisses and alone moments when we could, but never truly being open about it because of Trinity. It was as if she were my secret girlfriend, which I supposed was actually true. I didn’t like that so much. I wanted to be able to date her for real, the right way. I wanted to take her out for dinner and get to know her in a romantic way. Now, everything we had done together had been with Trinity, and when we had an alone moment, we slept together. It seemed to go from one extreme to the next, which seemed to go against our nature. She wasn’t the sneaking around sort, and neither was I. We were doing it so that we didn’t hurt Trinity, but I just hoped that we didn’t hurt ourselves in the process instead.
“Is everything okay, Reed?” one of the nurses asked me as I passed her station.
I looked at her and frowned. Did she know about what had happened? How? “Uh, yes, why?” I asked.
“You just look a bit lost today.”
I breathed a sigh of relief. The last thing I needed was for the entire building to be talking about my personal problems. Although I wouldn’t be surprised if it didn’t start happening soon. News always traveled faster than I could imagine.
“Oh, I am. Didn’t sleep well. Maybe I’m coming down with something.”
“Oh no. You work too hard. You should take some time off,” she said kindly.
I forced myself to smile. “Maybe. I’ll see. For now, it’s back to work.”
She shook her head. “Too much work, Reed. Too much.”
I walked to my office and sat down. I wasn’t sure how long I stayed like that, but when Warren walked in, I jumped in surprise. He was holding two cups of coffees and handed me one.
“I figured you might need this. I heard some of the nurses saying how tired you looked.”
I smiled. “Thanks, Warren. Yeah, this is very much needed right now. I looked at the clock. I’d been sitting at my desk for half an hour just staring at my screen.”
Warren took a seat opposite me and narrowed his eyes. “So, want to talk? You left the banquet early, and Kennedy seemed worried. I didn’t want to ask too much because of your daughter, though. And now you look like you’ve seen a ghost. You were just staring at your computer when I walked in. What’s going on?”
“How much time do you have?”
“My next appointment is in an hour, and judging by the way you’re staring at that computer, you’re not going to be doing any work anytime soon. So, talk to me. Why did you leave?”
“Angela.”
“What?”
“Angela. My ex. She . . . she showed up at the banquet. I literally turned around and saw her standing in the doorway looking for me.”
“What the hell? Okay, that was not what I thought you were going to say. What gives? Why the hell would she even be there? How long has it been since you’ve seen her? Sorry for all the questions. I’m just in shock.”
“If you’re in shock, you can imagine how I feel. I’m still in shock. She heard about my reward and knew I’d be there. She’s been keeping tabs on me, and they announced the awards on some online forum thing on Friday evening. I didn’t even know that. But somehow she did. Anyway, she decided that she’d come and get me back.”
“Just like that?”
“Just like that,” I said. “Oh, and it’s been six years since I’ve seen her. She walked out on me when Trinity was only a few months old. Trinity is turning seven this year. That’s how long it’s been since I’ve seen Angela.”
“Holy crap. And she wants you back? Why?”
“Oh, she spouted out some nonsense. But let’s be honest. She wants me back because of my money. That’s why she was with me in the first place. When Trinity came along, she freaked out. She never wanted a family. She just wanted to live a life of luxury and have someone like me pay her way through life. It took me a long time to see that. And now . . . just like that . . . she’s back.”
Warren rubbed his temples. He took a long sip of his coffee as if trying to make sense of what I had just told him. “This is insane. Utterly crazy. So, I’m assuming Kennedy knows. How about Trinity? Did she see her?”
I shook my head. “She didn’t. Although Trinity wouldn’t even know who she was, anyway. She was only a few months old. But thankfully, Kennedy stayed with her while I went to talk to Angela.”
“I like Kennedy,” Warren says.
“Yeah. So do I. I just hope I haven’t messed up things with her. It’s not exactly fair to her to be in the middle of this. She and I have had enough issues to deal with trying to keep things away from Trinity. It’s such a mess.”
“How did it feel to see Angela again?”
“Weird. Surreal. Like a dream. Nightmare. I don’t know. I used to think about her coming back so much when she first left. I thought about all the things that I was going to say to her. I guess I stopped thinking about that in the last few years. Maybe it was at the back of my mind, but not enough for me to really worry about it anymore. I felt so unprepared to see her again.”
“And, don’t mind me asking this, but I’m curious. Did you feel any sort of . . . attraction to her?”
I immediately shook my head. “Not even in the slightest. She’s a good-looking woman, but it’s hard for me to imagine how I was so in love with her. I felt nothing. Well, not nothing, really. I felt anger; I felt sadness. But the one thing I didn’t feel was any attraction.”
“That’s good, at least. Otherwise, that would’ve opened up a whole new can of worms. So, what are you going to do? How did things end with the two of you?”
“We spoke a lot about nothing. Lots of back and forth. I was angry that she had just showed up at my work event. What was she expecting me to do? Just open up with loving arms? Is she crazy? I told her to leave me and Trinity alone. It didn’t really end well or badly, to be honest. I just sort of walked off in the end because I knew the event was over and I knew that Trinity and Kennedy were waiting for me. I’m assuming she’s going to be back, and I’m literally having sleepless nights thinking about it. I don’t want Trinity to get involved. But I have a funny feeling that she is going to try and get joint custody of Trinity.”
“You do? But why? She doesn’t want a daughter. You said it yourself; she walked away from all of that.”
“It’s a feeling I have. Maybe a hidden agenda trying to disguise what she’s really after. I don’t know. What should I do, man?”
Warren sighed. “I have no idea. Just be strong and stick up for yourself. That’s all you really can do. You’re in the right here; she’s in the wrong. Always remember that.”
I nodded. Warren knew that I was always a bit of a pushover when it came to Angela in the past. She’d always been the one in control. I could see he was worried that I’d just fall back into my old ways with her.
“Trust me, Warren. There’s no way I’m going to let her win. Trinity is my daughter. Not hers. She lost that right a long time ago.”
“Good for you. Look, I better get back to work. But if you need anything, just let me know. And if you need to take some time off, then you should. Don’t feel bad about it. You are still owed a lot of time. Okay? Rather look after yourself and your family. I know I give you a lot of grief, but I really just want you to be happy.”
It was the first time I’d ever heard Warren say something like that to me before. We were good friends, but we were the sort of guys that preferred joking around with one another. It wasn’t often that we opened up and spoke about our feelings. He must be very worried about me if he had said that. I smiled at him.
“Thanks, Warren. I will be.”
I was barely into an hour of work when my work phone rang.
“Hello?”
“Hi, Reed, I have an Angela on the line for you. She said it was urgent.”
I froze. I opened my mouth to say something but the words wouldn’t come out.
“Uh, hello? Reed? Are you still there? I have an Angela on the line for you,” the receptionist said again.
“Sorry about that. Okay, sure, put her through,” I said in as bright a voice as possible.
“Reed?”
My hands began to tremble at the sound of her voice. I took a few deep breaths to calm myself down before answering.
“Angela. I can’t believe you’re calling me at work.”
“What was I supposed to do, Reed? I tried your cell but the number doesn’t work anymore.”
“Oh, that’s odd,” I said sarcastically. “It might be because I haven’t heard from you in six years! My number has changed since then.”
“Look, Reed, you don’t have to get snappy with me. I’d like to do this in a civil way.”
“Do what in a civil way? What exactly is it that you are wanting to do? You do realize that you left me six years ago? What did you expect me to do when I saw you again?”
“I left you a letter, Reed. I didn’t just run away.”
I laughed. “Oh, my apologies. I forgot about the kind letter that you left behind, informing me that you are moving away and leaving me to raise our baby alone. How could I forget that? Sorry! All is forgiven, of course.”
“Reed, it’s been six years. Do you really still hold a grudge against me?”
I couldn’t believe what was happening. Did she really think I was going to be okay by her sudden appearance? Clearly she was more delusional than I remembered.
“Yes, Angela, as a matter of fact, I do still hold a grudge against you. Do you have any idea how much you hurt me?”
“I’m sorry, Reed. I already told you this the other night. It was such an overwhelming time for me. And, I know this isn’t nice to hear, but I had met someone else. I didn’t do anything with him when I was with you, though. But . . . I wanted to be with him. He was young, and energetic, and he wanted the same thing out of life than I did. I wasn’t ready to settle down.”
“And now you are? What happened to Mr. Fun?”
“That doesn’t matter,” she said. “He’s out the picture now. Long ago, if you must know. Anyway, I’m back now, and that’s all that matters really. Come on, Reed, can’t you just give me a chance? I want to see my daughter again.”
“You can’t just come back here and go straight into Trinity’s life again. You can’t do that to her. I have been her only parent for six years, Angela. Six years! I did it without you, and I will continue to do it without you. I’m sorry, but you are not going to take her away from me. She’s my whole world. I’m not the one that left her.”
“Don’t put that guilt on me, Reed. She’s my daughter too.”
“Is she? Because as far as I’m aware, you haven’t been here to watch her grow up. You haven’t been there to see her turn into the beautiful girl she is. She’s been through so much because of you, and somehow she’s still the sweetest girl around. Don’t you dare come and ruin that.”
“Reed, I have no problem with taking you to court for this. You do realize that I have every right to being with my own daughter. The judge will understand that. Every girl needs their mother. There’s no way you can win this. I deserve to get some time with my daughter.”
“Seriously? Angela, I have taken care of her for six years. I have a feeling that the judge might listen to me. Not you. Now, please, I’m at work, and I don’t want to talk to you right now. Hell, I don’t want to talk to you ever again. I think it’s best if we just continue on with the way things used to be before you showed up. I don’t need you in my life again, and you don’t need me. Please, Angela, just stay away from me and my daughter.”
I slammed the phone down and waited for it to ring again. But it didn’t. I was sure that Angela would be back, but for now, I was just glad that I had finally stood up to her and told her how I felt. The courage hadn’t stopped my hands from shaking though, and I was glad that I was only doing paperwork that morning.
It took me a while to calm down, but as the day went on, I finally found a way to immerse myself with work and to stop thinking about her. I probably worked harder than I ever have before simply because I didn’t want to entertain even the smallest thought of her.
I worked a bit later than usual, and when I got home, Kennedy told me that Trinity was fast asleep. I was grateful. I hated coming home when Trinity was already asleep, but I was finding it difficult to be around her lately. I just kept looking at her and feeling guilty about lying to her. Did she deserve to know who her mother was? Or was she better off not ever knowing her at all? I had no idea what to do.
“Are you okay?” Kennedy asked me kindly.
I smiled at her. “You’re amazing. Thank you for asking. Angela called me at work today. She told me that she’s going to take me to court if I don’t let her see Trinity.”
“Seriously? How can she even do that? Doesn’t she realize that she’s the one that left six years ago? She’s the one that hasn’t been a mother to Trinity all these years. She can’t just come back here and demand to see her.”
“That’s what I told her. There’s no way I would let her be a part of Trinity’s life after what she did. And how do I know she won’t just leave again. How can I do that to my daughter all over? I feel sick just thinking about it.”
“So what’s going to happen?” Kennedy asked.
I shook my head. “I have no idea. I told her to leave me alone and to never call again, but I’m not sure she’s going to listen to me. I can’t . . . I just can’t believe this is happening to me.”
Kennedy moved over so that she was sitting right beside me. She put her hand on my leg and looked at me. I felt myself getting lost in her eyes. I reached over and tucked a strand of hair behind her ears.
“You have beautiful hair,” I said to her.
She chuckled. “That’s a strange statement to make now.”
“The only way I can stop thinking about what is happening is to look at you. You seem to take all my problems away. You know, there’s only one thing on my mind right now looking at you.”
“Oh yeah? And what’s that?”
“I’m thinking of my dear partner Petunia, and what I’d like to do to her.”
She burst out laughing. “Oh, Petunia’s quite a wild one in bed. But I hear her husband Peter is even wilder.”
“Care to find out?” I asked. I didn’t want anything else but her at that moment. I wanted to forget about the world. To forget about Angela. To forget about what I was going to do about the situation. I just wanted Kennedy.
She nodded. “Yes, please.”