Chapter Twelve
Kennedy
Before I knew what was happening, Reed was kissing me. At first, I pulled away and looked at him in confusion.
“I . . . I’m sorry,” he stuttered. “I just couldn’t help myself. You’re . . . you’re just so beautiful, Kennedy.”
I melted at his words. At the way he was looking at me. I pulled him back in. “Don’t be sorry,” I said and started kissing him again. My lips brushed against his, tentatively at first, but when he returned my kiss I could feel the desire behind the warmth that danced on his skin.
Kissing Reed was as delicious as eating my favorite chocolate cake. He was hard to say no to. I kissed him back, hard and passionate. Reed pulled away, took my hand and led me quietly up the stairs to his bedroom. I saw Trinity’s room and almost said no. But I felt like I was in it too deep now. It wasn’t that I couldn’t stop myself; it was that I didn’t want to. Once we were inside his room, he closed the door and immediately took off his shirt. I was surprised to find that his bookish exterior didn’t extend to his physical appearance. Reed was well built and lean, and as my hands trailed over his chest, I was impressed with how muscular he was.
Seeing what great physical shape Reed was in would normally have me feel embarrassed to take my own clothes off. It wasn’t that I was in a bad shape or anything. But I certainly wasn’t model thin. I was curvy, with big breasts and slightly bigger thighs than I would like. My skin was pale, not from lack of sun, but because no matter how much I tried to get brown, I couldn’t. And yet, standing there in front of Reed, I wanted him to see me. I pulled off my shirt, pulled down my jeans and stood there in front of him with just my underwear on. When his hand reached over to touch me, I smiled at how different his tanned skin looked against mine.
“You’re beautiful, Kennedy,” he whispered and could see in his eyes that he meant it.
We took the rest of our clothes off and climbed onto the bed together. Reed kissed me with a force I didn’t know he had, and the fact that we had to be quiet only seemed to elevate our feelings even more. He kissed me, his lips lingering, refusing to give any ground, and I felt my body rise in response. I wanted his hands on me; I wanted my hands on him—every inch of him. I wondered just how long I had wanted him like this. At that moment, it felt like it had been forever that I’d denied it.
When Reed came inside me, I moaned quietly. I closed my eyes while he pushed against me, reveling in the sensation. I hadn’t had sex in months, but I probably hadn’t had good sex in years. He pushed, and I groaned, my hand covering my mouth so that I didn’t make too much noise. I’d never had sex where I had to be so quiet before, and the sensation of wanting to scream out loud and needing to not make a peep was interesting. I opened my eyes and saw that Reed was looking at me, smiling. I smiled back, and in that instant, I knew I was going to come. I held onto his waist, closed my eyes again, and allowed myself to fully surrender. Reed came shortly after, and when I looked at him, I saw that his eyes were now closed, and he was forcing himself not to groan out loud. Feeling him come inside me was almost magical. Camille had been right. It had been far too long since I’d done this and I enjoyed it more than I probably should’ve, considering he was my boss.
My boss. It was only once we were lying side by side, curled up against each other, that I fully realized what had just happened. I’d just had sex with my boss. It was something I never in a million years thought I would’ve done. And something I could never understand why someone else could do. An old friend of mine had once slept with her boss, and I’d looked at her like she was insane. I remember asking her how she could do something like that and she’d said that the pull toward him had been too strong. I’d just figured she had no control over herself. And yet, here I was. I’d just never felt that way about someone before. I’d never wanted to lose control the way that I had with Reed. He was . . . perfect. And yet, lying here now in the afterglow of our passion, the only thing I felt was guilt.
I wondered how Reed felt. I wanted to ask him, but a part of me was too scared to know. What did this mean for us? Where would we go from here? Would we carry on as if this didn’t happen or do we do this again? And if we did it again, then what did that make us? The thoughts were reeling through my head. I was just about to ask Reed what was going to happen when I heard a knock on the door, and I froze. Both of us lay completely still. Had we imagined it? Another knock.
I sat up and looked at Reed in shock.
“Daddy, I can’t sleep. Can I come in with you?” Trinity called out. Her little voice was soft and timid.
“I’ll be right there, my darling.”
I bolted out of the bed, grabbed my clothes, and ran to the bathroom and closed the door. I heard Reed putting on his clothes and then opening the door.
“Hi, my girl. Should we go to your bedroom?” Reed asked. Say yes, I said. Please say yes.
“No, I want to lie in your bed, Daddy. I can’t sleep. Why are you still in your clothes?”
I heard Reed laugh nervously. “Oh, well I fell asleep with them on. Silly me. Come on, let’s climb into bed together.”
“Thanks, Daddy.”
I listened for a while, waiting for Trinity to fall asleep. I couldn’t believe that we’d done that with Trinity just in the other room. What were we thinking? All I knew at that moment was that I needed to get out of that room so that she didn’t see me. I very slowly started putting my clothes back on without making a noise, which took me forever. I was just about to open the door when I heard Trinity speak up again.
“I had the best time today, Daddy. I like Kennedy. She’s my new best friend,” Trinity said. Her voice sounded half asleep.
“She’s great. And so are you. Come on, close your eyes. Let’s get some rest. I’m also so tired.”
“Will we go to the museum again?”
“I’m sure we will.”
“Good night, Daddy.”
“Good night, Trin.”
I waited a full ten minutes before finally opening the bathroom door and stepping out. I looked at the bed and saw that Trinity was fast asleep. Reed was wide awake and gave me a look of apology. I shook my head as if to say that everything was fine and waved goodbye to him. I crawled slowly down the stairs, aware of every move that I was making, and then opened the front door and ran to my car. It was only when I got home that I breathed a heavy sigh of relief that I wasn’t caught. But that relief was soon replaced by heavy remorse. What had I done? I thought of little Trinity lying in bed with her father, finally happy that there was a woman in her life. But I wasn’t her mother. I was her nanny. And I’d blurred the lines. If something went wrong now, Reed might ask me to leave. And where would that leave little Trinity?