Chapter Thirty-Three
Josh
I was getting ready for my dinner with Reagan, wondering why I was even going in the first place, when my phone rang. Perhaps it would be Reagan, calling to cancel. That would be both good and bad at the same time. It was Kason.
“I know you’re busy with the campaign, but I figured you could use a bit of a time out. Any chance you want to come over for dinner tonight? We can order in pizza, drink beer, just chill out.”
I felt bad, and even though Kason was making it sound like he was doing it for me, I knew he was doing it also for himself.
“I can’t. I have a dinner with Reagan,” I said and explained the whole situation to him. How she had come into the office and begged him to listen. “I’m not sure if this is a good idea, but I figured I owed it to her to at least listen.”
“I’m glad. No matter what happens, I think it’s better that you at least hear her out. You’ll always wonder what she would’ve said otherwise. And don’t sweat about dinner. I’ll probably still order a pizza. I tried to be more domesticated this week and actually learned how to make a few dishes. Not all disasters, either. But I figured I’d take the night off.”
I was glad to hear Kason finally sounding a bit more upbeat. “How about I come over for a beer tomorrow? I’ll probably need it after tonight.”
“Yeah, that would be great. Good luck, Josh.”
I made my way to the restaurant feeling like I had the world on my shoulders. Why had I agreed to this? Although, maybe Kason was right. I would probably always wonder what she had to say. I had no idea how she was going to get herself out of this mess, but it would be interesting to see her try. I just hoped to see some sort of remorse written on her face. I hoped that this wasn’t something that she just did to all the guys. If she really wanted to mess with the campaign, she could’ve done it without making me fall in love with her. That’s the part that hurt me the most.
I chose a restaurant that wasn’t too intimate, but that still offered enough privacy for us to be able to speak freely without the worry of people listening in. I was just about to give my name to the man at the door when I saw that Reagan was already sitting and waiting for me. She hadn’t seen me yet, but she looked nervous. The fact that she looked nervous made me happy. I wouldn’t be able to bear it if she was calm and collected.
“Hi, Reagan,” I said as I got to the table. I tried not to think about how beautiful she looked. Tired, but beautiful. She didn’t seem to be getting any sleep, either.
“Oh, hi, Josh,” she said anxiously. “Thank you so much for meeting with me.”
“Yeah, sure,” I said but didn’t look her in the eye.
The waiter came by to take our order, but we both ordered a glass of water this time instead of wine and told the waiter to just bring us the house pasta. Neither of us could be bothered to look through the menu. I didn’t even really have much of an appetite. I think the poor waiter could see that something was going on because he quickly scurried away from us. As he ran away, I looked at Reagan, and she looked at me, and we both laughed.
“Poor guy. I bet he wishes he didn’t get our table tonight.”
I shook my head. “I was thinking the same thing. Ah, it feels weird to laugh with you again.”
“It feels nice,” she said and attempted a smile at me.
“No, it feels sad.”
She nodded. “I’m sorry. Can . . . uh . . . can I explain?”
“Please.”
She took a deep breath, and I was happy to see the remorse that was clearly written all over her face.
“I’m not working for the opposition. I never have and I never will.”
“But I saw you with Frank at the diner. I saw you talking with him at the gala,” I interrupted. I couldn’t believe that she was going to try and convince me that she hadn’t done anything wrong. I had expected the truth and some apologies, but not more lies. I almost got up and left but decided to hear her out.
“The gala?” she said and looked confused.
“I saw you talking to him there.”
“Well, yeah. But for like five minutes. Oh, Josh. It’s not what you think. Frank Hirshman comes to the diner pretty often. He tried to pick me up once. It was before I even started working for you. He asked me out, and I said I wasn’t looking for anyone. He came in once more to ask me out again. Actually, he was going to ask me to be his date at the gala. By then I was working for you. I thanked him and told that I wasn’t interested and that I had plans for that day, anyway. Turns out we were talking about the same event. He was friendly to me then. So, when I saw him at the gala, I spoke to him, but I probably spoke to him for a few minutes the entire night. I wasn’t there to support him. I was there to support you. It’s always been you, Josh.”
“I don’t understand.”
“That day that you came into the diner to see me and saw Frank there, well, that was just bad luck, to be honest. But he was there to see me again. Not for a date, but because he’s been trying to get me to switch sides ever since he found out I was working for you. I told him no the first time, and I told him no that time too. Anyway, but then I couldn’t stand the guy. Not after what he said about you at that press conference. I know you don’t believe it right now, but I really am loyal, Josh. I have always believed in what you stand for, and I never wanted to work for anyone else. He offered me three times the amount of money that you give me, and I turned him down. It was never about the money.”
“But the papers in your desk? What was that all about?”
“That is my fault. And that is something I desperately need to explain to you, which I should’ve done long ago. When I first joined your team, I promised myself that I was going to make sure that you won. In order to do that, I had to stay ahead of the competition at all times. In other words, I had to act like I was Frank Hirshman himself. I asked myself what he would do to get ahead of the game. And that was simple: hire a private investigator to dig up any dirt that there might be against you. So I decided to do the same. I hired my friend Mack to look you up. The first time he called me, he said he couldn’t find anything on you and that you were squeaky clean. I was so pleased. That was before you and I had anything going. Then, well . . . then I started to fall for you, Josh. It was never just about the sex for me. I really like you. More than you’ll ever know. And then out of the blue, Mack calls me to say that he found some information about your mother. He said it was very hard to track down but that he wanted me to know. I . . . I didn’t know what to do. I knew you’d be upset with me for hiring a private investigator, and now that you and I were together, I knew how wrong it sounded. That’s just not something that people should do to one another. The relationship should be based on trust. I wanted to talk to you about it so that we could determine together whether this was news worth doing something with before Frank found out. But I had no idea how to bring it up. I was scared you’d hate me. That’s why it was so hidden on my desk. I’m sorry you found it. I . . . how did you find it?”
I stared at her. She wasn’t working for Frank? This changed everything. When the waiter came with the water, I almost wished it was wine.
“There was a spy in the office that morning. She walked away with some papers. We still have no idea what she took. So, I went through everyone’s desks with them to look for what was missing. You weren’t there that day as you were in meetings, so I went through your papers without you. I figured you’d understand considering what was happening. And that’s when I found them.”
“Oh, Josh. You must’ve been so upset. I’m so sorry. I really am. Just because I’m not a spy doesn’t mean that it makes what I did okay. I feel awful about it.”
I felt relief wash over me. I quickly called the waiter and ordered a bottle of wine. I looked at a very startled Reagan and smiled. “Care to join me for longer than an hour?”
She beamed. “You’re not mad?”
“Are you kidding me? I thought you were a spy. I thought that our entire relationship was based on a lie. No, I’m not mad at you. You were just doing your job. I would’ve done the same if I was you. In fact, I think it was very smart. I can’t believe you found all that information, though. I thought I had hidden it so well.”
“You had. Trust me. Mack is amazing, and it took him forever to find that information. That’s why I wasn’t sure if I was going to say anything to you. I figured if it took Mack so long then it meant there was a slim chance of anyone else finding out.”
“I don’t know. I hope you’re right. And I should explain, my mother . . . well . . .”
“You don’t have to explain anything to me.”
“I know. But . . . you should know. She’s been put away for extortion. It was one of the hardest things I have ever been through. It’s not easy, being the son of someone who would do that. I took my uncle's name because I always thought of him more like a father than an uncle. He taught me a lot of things about life when I was younger. Integrity, pride, passion.” I thought of my uncle then, and felt immediately guilty that I had not been to see him since he’d been ill. I had to make a plan to visit soon. I’d visit the club too, just so that he knew I hadn’t forgotten about all of them.
“I’m sorry you had to go through all of that.”
“And I’m sorry I didn’t just hear you out from the start. I will explain what happened to the office. I feel awful that I’ve made everyone see you in a bad light. I never told them outright that it was you, but I’m sure they guessed from your absence. You must’ve had the worst week.”
“I felt so bad. I know I wasn’t a spy, but I still felt awful about everything. I’ve missed you so much, Josh. I couldn’t believe just how much I missed you. I want you to know that I would never do something like that to you and I would never do anything to hurt the campaign. I believe in it, and I believe in you.”
“I’m so glad I decided to meet with you now. Thanks for storming into my office and closing the door. Although, I’d like to point out that it’s very rude not to knock.”
She burst out laughing. “I was so sad when we didn’t joke around about that. I’m also so looking forward to this meal. I’ve finally got my appetite back. You know there is something wrong when I don’t want to eat.”
“Same here.”
The waiter came by with our food and looked at us curiously. We flashed him a smile and then burst out laughing when he walked away.
“He must think he’s at the wrong table,” Reagan said.
“Yeah. Uh, Reagan, can I ask you something?” I said suddenly.
“Anything.”
“Will you come back home with me tonight and sleep over? I know that’s kind of presumptuous, but I’ve really missed you.”
“I could think of nothing better. We have a lot of making up to do. Although, I do have one problem.”
“What’s that?”
“I have nothing to wear.”
I chuckled. “Oh, I have a few t-shirts with your name on them.”