Chapter Twenty-Six
Blaire
After Ryan had left, I finished my coffee and then went back to sleep. I found myself not being able to concentrate on my book, and for some reason, I was so exhausted even though I’d just had a full night’s rest. I just felt emotionally tired, and that seemed to be manifesting in a physical way.
When I woke up, I saw that almost two hours had passed and I figured Ryan would be home soon. I climbed out of bed and made my way downstairs to watch some TV. Reading wasn’t working for me, so I needed some other sort of distraction. I flipped through the channels trying to find something decent to watch when I suddenly saw Ryan’s face flash onto the screen. I sat up and turned the volume up. I wondered if Nick had put him up to this, to let the world know that he was going to have to retire. It was a good idea, but it couldn’t be easy for him.
Ryan had a strange look on his face that I couldn’t quite comprehend. I figured it must be his nerves. I couldn’t imagine how terrifying this must all be for him. I was surprised that he hadn’t told me that he was about to give the conference, but I figured he didn’t want to worry me. I groaned when they cut to breaks, which seemed to go on forever. When it finally turned back to Ryan, I sat close to watch.
“Thank you all for being here on such short notice,” Ryan said. There was a strange clarity in his voice that I hadn’t expected.
“You’ve got this, Ryan!” I said to the screen.
Ryan cleared his throat and looked into the camera. He spoke for about fifteen minutes, looking calm and confident even though I was sure he was anything but this. Then, just as I thought he was about to finish things up on a high note, he looked into the screen and said, “As you all know, Ron Matthew, or The Prowl as he calls himself, has challenged me to a fight. He has been running around talking behind my back and putting words in my mouth that I never said. We all know that those are words of a very scared man. So, I’d like to put it out there on national TV . . . I will happily take on the challenge. And . . .” he said as he leaned into the screen. “I will win.”
I sat in shock and sat staring at the screen long after Ryan had gone. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Reed had told him that he could not fight again. Was he really going to take the chance just to prove a point? I wondered what Nick thought of the whole thing. I’d be angry if I were to discover that he had been the one to spur it on.
I was still sitting in front of the TV when Ryan came home, even though by then I’d long switched it off. I don’t think I even realized that I was in such a daze until I heard the front door open. Ryan walked in and frowned when he saw me.
“Blaire? What’s wrong?”
“How could you?”
“What are you talking about?” he asked. He walked into the living room and sat on the sofa opposite me. He clearly didn’t realize that I had seen him on TV.
“I saw the press conference that you held. You told me that you were just going to tell Nick about what had happened. The next minute I see you on TV telling the whole world that you are going to fight The Prowl and beat him. What’s that about? Did you think that I wasn’t going to see that?”
Ryan sighed. “I didn’t realize you saw it. And no, that wasn’t my intention at all. I was supposed to go and speak to Nick and then come straight home.”
“Didn’t you even talk to Nick?” I asked.
“I did. I went straight there, and we talked for a long time. He was very understanding. I mean, he’s been through it all himself. And he offered me a position as a trainer so that I wouldn’t have to be out of the game completely.”
“That’s a great idea, Ryan. Please don’t tell me you turned it down.”
“I didn’t. I thought it was a good idea too. And then . . . well, apparently Ron has been going around telling people that I refuse to fight him. He said he wants to finally settle on a fight date so that he can prove to the world that he is better than me. This all happened while we were away, so I had no idea. And then this reporter came and asked me what I was going to do. I was so taken aback by the whole thing.”
“So, you decided to fight him?”
“I know it sounds crazy.”
“It sounds more than crazy, Ryan. Didn’t you hear what Reed said to you? Don’t you care at all about your health?” I asked. What I also wanted to ask was whether he cared at all about me, but I didn’t say that. I knew that this had nothing at all to do with me, but it didn’t make it any easier.
“Of course I care. And yes, I did hear what Reed said to me. And he’s right; I need to stop fighting. And I’m going to. But I need to do this. This is something that will torment me for the rest of my life unless I do something about it. I need to fight this guy. And I promise you, Blaire, this will be my last fight. I will beat him, and it will be the one fight that everyone remembers me for.”
I wanted to tell him that it shouldn’t matter what some idiot like Ron thought about him. I wanted to tell him that he didn’t have to prove himself to rest of the world. I needed him to know that he didn’t have to prove himself to me. I already knew what sort of man he was, and I didn’t need a fight against his enemy to show that to me. I wanted to tell him that by fighting Ron all he was doing was giving in. But I knew it wouldn’t matter what I said. I could see that Ryan had made up his mind. I knew that in his world, all of this was important. And it didn’t really matter how much I tried to convince him otherwise. It wasn’t my place to tell him what to do. In the greater scheme of things I actually barely knew the man. It wasn’t my place.
I forced myself to smile, even though I was hurting so much on the inside.
“Okay,” I finally said. “I’m not happy with it. But I’ll support you. I’ll always support you.” I knew that it was all that I could do. I was not married to Ryan, and I had no right to tell him how to live his life. And I wasn’t lying; I would support him through it all.
“Thanks, Blaire,” he said, and I could see that he was relieved by my reaction.
“What about Nick? What does he have to say about all of this?” Part of me was hoping that it had been Nick that had forced this on Ryan. At least then I would have someone that I could be angry with because it was turning out too difficult to be cross with Ryan.
Ryan sighed. “Same as you. He’s not happy. He tried to convince me not to do it. But even he knew that if the roles were reversed, he would do the same. He’s not pleased, but he’s going to support me.”
I should’ve known that Nick wouldn’t have wanted him to fight. Now I had nobody to be angry at. I just had to accept what was going to happen and do my best to get through tit.
“Don’t get hurt, Ryan. And do me a favor,” I said.
“What’s that?”
“I don’t want you doing this, but I’m going to support you. So please just beat him and never fight him again.”
Ryan beamed. “That’s exactly what I plan on doing.”
I walked up to him and took him in my arms. “You’re a pain; you know that, Knuckles?”
He laughed. “I know. I know. So, did you have a nice morning? Other than watching me on TV of course.”
I groaned. “Don’t remind me. I still can’t believe I switched on the TV at exactly that moment. But yeah, everything is fine otherwise. I pretty much slept the morning away. I tried to read, but it just wasn’t happening. I cannot believe how tired I am. Not even the coffee kept me awake.”
“Stress can do that to you. So, what should we do about this letter? I’ve been thinking about it since we got it. Maybe we should go back to the police with it. I mean, isn’t this proof enough? Don’t you think they might finally listen to us?”
I shook my head. “I thought about that too. But you saw how they treated us the last time. They don’t care. And one letter is not going to change their minds. I have a feeling that they’ll just tell us to leave it up to them and then do nothing. The more I think about going to talk to them, the more I think that it’s just pointless.”
Ryan sighed. “I hate to agree with you, but I think you’re right. They don’t care at all. I just hate feeling so hopeless. I’m glad that you’re here, but I still wish that there was something that I could do.”
“You know what I want right now?” I said.
“A hot dog?” Ryan said.
I chuckled. “That would be nice. But seeing as though we’re not in Seattle, I’ll have to turn down that offer. It just won’t be the same. I won’t eat one from anywhere but that place now. No, it’s not a hot dog I want. It’s you. Right now, all I want is to be with you. A nice, long, lazy day.”
He smiled. “That’s exactly what I want too.”