Chapter Twelve
Shawn
Apparently, there were a lot of women who really wanted to see this movie and quite a bit of men who were suckered into watching it with their girlfriends, because the theater was completely packed.
Dalilah was as demanding as usual, but I didn’t mind. At least I was there with someone I liked, and someone I could be myself around, without having to worry about offending her.
After a long, aggravating week, I was really happy to have the opportunity to just relax and enjoy having a night out with my girlfriend. This way, we didn’t have to worry about anything. I could just be myself.
I did think it was strange that I hadn’t heard from Valerie’s mother though. Usually, she liked to keep an eye on me.
Still, I supposed that was just because Valerie told her that I didn’t want anything to do with her. Even though I had gotten angry at Dalilah for suggesting it, the more I thought about it, the more it made sense.
Maybe they really don’t want anything to do with me. Maybe I finally reached the limit of what they were willing to take from me, I had thought cynically on more than one occasion during the course of the week. Each time, I would roll my eyes and shake my head, thinking that they were no better than my mother. While she might have been more direct and had a much lower threshold for not caring about me, Valerie and her family, my father included, if not especially, also had their own threshold. My honesty with Valerie the other day must have crossed it.
Whatever, I thought as I put my arm around Dalilah and hugged her close to me while we entered the movie theater. I guess that doesn’t matter much. I have the only person in the world that I need right here.
I kissed the side of her head affectionately as I had the thought, deciding if I continued to have this thought, that maybe one day I would truly believe it.
I was infatuated with Dalilah. I would be the first one to admit it and the more she talked, convincing me, not just to move out, but the truth of the situation, that I was now a burden on my father and his new family started to make a lot of sense. It hurt to realize the truth, but I would rather realize it and deal with it now, before it manifested in other areas of my life.
After all, I was still going to school. I was still trying to do my homework and I was still having a good time in my social life. I felt fairly complete and figured that the hole that the loss of my father and Valerie’s family made in my heart would eventually heal. It had to, right?
“I want popcorn, but make sure they do not put butter on it…and a couple different candies…and a soda…but if they don’t have Sprite, were leaving and going to another theater,” Dalilah was saying as I was caught in a reflection. I tuned back in, just long enough to hear the thing about the Sprite.
I smiled, wishing that I had a girlfriend that was only joking. She loved Sprite and one time they were out and she made me go to another theater, call ahead to make sure they had the soda of her choice and then buy new tickets, just so that we could go see the movie. She insisted that would have ruined her night, had she had to settle for any other beverage.
She might be high maintenance, but she’s mine! I thought, trying to be cheerful. “I know, sweetie…” I answered, “I am sure they are not going to run out.”
Apparently, the sweetie comment was just a little too lovey-dovey for her, because she cringed and began to pull out of my grasp.
“What’s wrong?” I said as I let her go.
“Oh God…You’re smothering me! You’re going to ruin my hair.”
I tried not to roll my eyes as I pulled my arm back. “Sorry.”
I moved up in line next to someone to stand there for the popcorn and everything else she wanted, when I realized that I saw a familiar face in the crowd. I felt my heart begin to pound and my mouth went dry. I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to be angry, or pretend nothing happened. Immediately, our eyes began to lock, as though she had planned this all along. However, before Valerie could secure a look on me, I quickly turned around.
“What is it?” Dalilah demanded.
“Nothing…I’m just looking at the new movie posters,” I said, slightly fearful of what would happen if I told her the truth. Dalilah had adopted my anger at Valerie and her family, so I wasn’t completely sure she would not take it upon herself to go over and say something, which would likely ruin everyone’s night but her own.
Still, as I sat there, trying my best not to turn back around, trying my best not to make even the first glimpse of eye contact with her, I had a silent wish that it didn’t have to be this way. Of course, I would have never told that to Dalilah and was barely admitting it to myself, but I slightly regretted what I had done last week.
Seeing her made me realize that if I was right and I really had broken the threshold of their care and affection toward me, I should have never pushed it that far. My mother had never cared about me. They had done plenty for me and all I had done was hurt them; hurt Valerie for sure.
Even though I realized this and had these feelings though, I still wasn’t sure that I wanted to go through the hurt of blatant rejection. Perhaps that was weak, considering that was exactly what I had done to Valerie, but I knew, between my mother and my father, their simple ways of pushing me away in the worst possible methods, I could not take another shove into being alone.
Therefore, I should keep the distance at my own terms. I should be happy that they are leaving me alone, I thought to myself with a stern nod. Not having to continuously push them away is far better for both of us. They got the hint, which means that I will never have to do it again.
That was comforting to me and so, I was able to turn back around and completely ignore Valerie and her wonder boyfriend until after the movie.
Unfortunately, when the movie was over and we were making our way out of the theater, Dalilah decided that she just had to go to the bathroom before we left, despite the fact that I told her I was uncomfortable and really wanted to go.
“Stop being such a baby,” she teased and then made her way into the bathroom.
The cynical side to me thought about leaving her there, but I knew that I couldn’t do something like that. It just wasn’t right.
So, I waited, right outside of the bathrooms, so paranoid, that obviously I actually had no earthly idea what I was doing; because when I turned around, I was completely surprised to see Valerie standing there.
“Hi,” she said cheerfully, staring directly at me so that if I were to ignore her now, I would, once again, be a total jerk.
“Hey,” I nodded, wondering what her game was. “Where’s Zachary?”
She smiled at me and shrugged. “You know me…always forgetting something. I left my purse in the theater. He went back to get it for me.”
I smiled, knowing full well the extent of her forgetfulness. “Good man…” I said, nodding my head, even though I knew she didn’t need my approval.
However, before either of us could say anything else, Dalilah returned. Immediately, she began to start trouble. “Well, if it isn’t the traitor…” she mocked, glowering at Valerie in a way that made me feel automatically defensive toward her.
I spun my head around and glared at Dalilah menacingly, but Valerie was already on top of it.
“Excuse me?” she demanded. “I don’t believe you were a part of this conversation.”
“Yes, well, after the other day, I was under the impression that Shawn had nothing more to say to you.”
“Dalilah!” I exclaimed and then looked at Valerie with an apology in my eyes.
It was at that time that Zachary showed up. He saw who Valerie was with as well as the distress on her face and was automatically defensive. “What’s going on here?”
“We were just leaving,” Dalilah spat. “We don’t associate with such two-faced people.” Grabbing me quickly, she pulled me away.
I couldn’t believe she had actually done that and I was appalled. I turned toward her once we were outside and demanded, “What was that?”
“That was me, sticking up for you in a time of weakness,” she answered with a bite to her tongue that was sour.
“What?” I demanded. “No! You were just rude.”
“Yeah, well it looked like you were cozying up to the enemy and I would hate for you to fall back into her maniacal little trap.” Carefully, Dalilah’s hand rose and she placed it against my face, as though she was trying to make a caring motion. She dragged the back of her hand down my jawline. “I just can’t bear to see you hurt again, when that woman turns around and stabs you in the back. You know she will…” She smiled. “As long as you remember that I’m the only girl for you, then you’ll be okay.” She grasped my hand and pulled me toward the car, saying, “Come on! Let’s go home.”
While she pulled me away, I thought about what she had said and suddenly, I wasn’t so sure.