I make it back to our green room with my heart rate spiking, my breathing rapid and my mind racing with thoughts.

Chad likes me!

At least I think that’s what I just saw.

This is bad!

No wonder Danger reacted the way he did. I have no idea how to act around Chad now. I guess the only real thing I can do is avoid him?

But I don’t want to.

He’s my friend!

But at the same time I don’t want to lead him on either, not at all. I have no idea how to handle this. I’m with Danger. Well, we’re not officially a couple, but I’m not going to be with anyone other than him and, to be honest, I have no idea how this makes me feel. I thought it would gross me out.

Chad’s like a brother, isn’t he?

So shouldn’t I feel weirded out by this new enlightenment? But instead I feel odd like I’m completely confused. My head is spinning and my nerves are completely wreaking havoc inside my body. I walk across to the bench in the green room and over to the fruit platters to start my nervous eating demolition. I pick up a strawberry and chew on it quickly trying to wrap my head around this situation. I can’t even really taste the fruit as I swallow each piece. I know I have to go on stage shortly, and that will mean being near Chad and performing with him, so I need to sort myself out – and now. Plus, he could walk in here at any given moment so I need to keep calm.

I hear talking so I look to the door as I shove another piece of cantaloupe into my mouth. I watch Amber and Aston walk in and take a seat on the lounge talking about something. They don’t even look at me and it doesn’t register what they’re saying, so I go back to my nervous eating. My mind starts to conjure images of Chad leaning in to kiss me and my heart rate spikes a notch. I close my eyes and clench them tightly shut trying to rid the images as I chew vigorously on the fruit. His lips meet mine and my stomach starts to flutter with butterflies but churn at the same time. I feel sick and giddy, it’s making my head spin. Chad’s lips finally touch mine and I go to swallow, but it’s so hard to actually swallow the fruit down my throat that I start to choke. I open my eyes wide and cough loudly. Aston turns to face me and I cough again while panicking and try to breathe at the same time, but nothing is happening.

“Fuck, Ella.” Aston races over and jumps in behind me as my eyes start to water and I cough some more. He wraps his arms around my stomach and pulls his hands back into my tummy forcefully in an attempt at the Heimlich maneuver and thankfully the piece of cantaloupe dislodges and flies out of my mouth and falls to the floor. My eyes water and I cough frantically, then hunch over trying to inhale as much air as I can get into my lungs.

“Shit, Ella, are you okay?” Aston asks as Amber rushes over and pats my back.

“Should I call a medic?” Amber asks.

I shake my head as the tears flow down my face and Aston pulls me in for a hug.

“Ella, can you talk?” he asks.

I embrace him tightly, not only needing comfort from him with regards to my stupid choking to death incident but also from my confused state.

“Hey, shh, it’s okay. You’re okay,” he says while picking me up and carrying me over to the lounge to sit down.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper. My throat is a little sore and dry.

“As long as you’re okay, that’s all that matters. Do you need a medic to look at you?” he asks still holding onto me and I shake my head.

“No, I’m okay. I can breathe fine now. It was just scary that’s all,” I reply as I wipe the tears away from my cheeks. It feels good to cry, I think I needed to let some of the frustration out, and I’m sure they’re more from my confusion than from choking, that just helped bring them along.

“Can you play, or do we need to cancel tonight? And don’t feel pressured Ella, we can cancel if we need to,” Aston says.

I look at him and smile as he takes my hand and holds it tightly. I shake my head. “No, really, I’m fine.”

“Okay, well, maybe lay off the fruit for now?”

I look back at the practically empty tray of fruit and nod. “Yeah, if it doesn’t give me an upset belly it will choke me to death. Man, this nervous eating habit is the worst,” I say and Aston chuckles.

“Are you sure you don’t want a medic to check you over? Or do you want me to get your Mum or someone?”

“No, I’m fine, really. You saved me, thank you. I don’t know what I would’ve done if you weren’t here,” I say leaning in hugging him. He hugs me back and wipes a stray tear from my cheek.

“I’m just glad you’re okay.”

“And thanks, Amber. Sorry if I scared you.”

“No, it’s okay. I’m just glad Aston was here to save you. He’s a hero,” she says while smiling like she’s madly in love with him. I cringe slightly and internally roll my eyes at the sight, thinking about my sister and how she’d hate the fact that another woman is lusting all over Aston. But I can’t hate Amber right now, she helped in her own small way. I choked on fruit thinking about kissing Chad, this is ridiculous. I need to avoid him at all costs!

Aston stayed and distracted me from my thoughts of Chad until it was time for us to go on stage. Luckily Chad didn’t come into the green room obviously giving me the space I needed, which I was grateful for.

Aston and I are making our way down to the stage area to get ready to perform, and I know Chad will be there and I will see him. My heart rate is back up and my palms are sweating. I’m nervous and I feel like crying all over again, but I can’t. I must put on my game face for the fans and be switched on ready to rock, and not put my personal drama on stage or on show for everyone to see. I need to be professional about this.

As I walk up to the staging area, I hear Recoil finishing their set and getting ready to come off stage. I’m excited that I’ll see Danger before I go on stage. Hopefully, he can cheer me up a bit. I walk into the backstage area and see Chad straight away. He’s talking to Annie and Caleb, and it feels like all the air in the room is filled with electricity and is electrifying me to the spot. Every ounce of me is vibrating and shaking with nervous tension, and I have no idea how to stop it. I take a deep breath and try to calm myself, and as I attempt to take another step forward Chad turns and looks at me.

It’s like time stops still and I can’t move at all.

I’m stuck to the spot and I’m motionless.

Nothing is working, my brain, my lungs, my heart, nothing is functioning. It has all stopped. Chad slowly turns his lips up into a smile as he looks at me, and then when he smiles the brightest smile I’ve seen from him in a long time, everything kicks back into gear. My lungs fill with air as my heart thumps ferociously. My body begins to function again and it’s like the only thing that was missing was him. I can’t stop the smile that forms on my face as I look back at him. The feelings flowing through my body right now are making me feel more alive than I ever thought possible.

I had no idea I could feel like this.

Maybe a near-death experience will do that to you, make you see things in a new light? Suddenly a pair of arms wrap around me lifting me up off the ground, and I’m being swirled around in a circle forcing my vision of Chad to blur and I lose focus on him. I grip onto the biceps holding me and squeal with the force of the twirl. I’m placed back on the ground and I don’t have time to register before a set of lips are thrust onto mine. I open my eyes wide to see Danger kissing me and I relax slightly and ease into the kiss. The warmth of his kiss and the familiarity of his lips on mine brings me back to earth and I relish the contact. Everything inside me calms down to its normal pace, and I feel more like my usual self. He pulls back and looks at me smiling.

“Hey sugar, you look so beautiful. But your eyes are a little puffy, have you been crying?” he asks and I think it’s best not to lie.

“I might have had a small choking incident with a piece of fruit.”

His eyes open wide and he frowns. “What? Seriously? You choked? Are you, okay?” he asks rubbing his hands up and down my arms in comfort and then pulling me to his chest. I can feel his racing heart. “Seriously, are you okay?” he asks sounding terrified as he pulls back and caresses my face.

“I’m okay, Aston helped me. It was nothing really. I’m fine, I promise. Just made my eyes water a bit,” I say and he shakes his head and exhales forcefully.

“Shit, sugar, you had me worried there for a bit,” he says and embraces me tightly.

“Okay guys, let’s get in the huddle,” Caleb calls out.

“That’s my cue,” I tell him and he smiles and leans in kissing me softly again.

“Have a good show, sugar. I’m glad you’re okay and after your show if you feel up to it, I still want to make good on what we talked about earlier. But only if you’re really okay?”

“I can’t wait for you to take me somewhere, Danger. As soon as I get off stage, okay? I need to feel you,” I whisper so no one else can hear.

He smirks and nods leans in kissing my forehead, then walks off leaving me to go into the huddle with my band. Gazing at Chad, my stomach churns thinking of what I just arranged with Danger, but I need to prove that I’m with Danger and nothing is going on with Chad. He’s my friend and that’s all this is. That’s all it can be. Danger is the one for me. He may not be perfect, or gentlemanly, or sophisticated, but he suits me just fine. Gotta love my bad boy.

Caleb gives us our pep talk and I avoid eye contact with Chad and try to concentrate on the job at hand. I need to perform for the crowd out there, that’s the job I need to do right now. It’s the number one thing on my list – make the crowd happy. Then I need to come off the stage and make Danger happy. I have my game face on, and I will perform my heart out.

Caleb finishes his pep talk and we all put our hands in ready to say our mantra. Chad places his hand on top of mine and a spark shoots straight through my hand. I close my eyes trying to ignore it. I say our mantra with the rest of the band and continue to ignore the eyes of Chad that I can feel boring into me. Grabbing my guitar, I head to the side of the stage. I’m trying to calm my frantically beating heart. My head is all over the place, but I need to focus. Last thing I want is to get lost on stage. So I take a deep breath and close my eyes letting all things clear from my mind and then when I open them I run up onto the stage after Aston and take my position next to him.

I hear Chad kick start the bass drum and it kick starts my heart as the crowd roars into life. Being on stage under the neon green lights is setting me on fire. I don’t know whether it’s from nerves or from the rush of being on stage, but I’m feeling hot. I swallow hard as Annie starts to play the intro for the song, and Aston and I begin to play as well. Suddenly as I strum my white fender everything seems to get lost in the blur of the musical notes. All my nervousness and worries disappear as the music takes hold and I remember why I’m here.

For the music.

For the fans.

I look out over the crowd and they’re jumping up and down with excitement, and I can’t help but catch their infectious delight as I smile. Caleb runs on stage and starts to sing. This is what I needed; a musical release. To forget about my life for a moment, and just be lost in the peaceful confines of the world of music. This is my escape, and right now nothing matters but the crowd and the way they love the music I’m playing for them. This is what makes me happy. And seeing them happy only makes me feel better about myself.

 

***

 

The concert was just what I needed to calm me down and bring me back to earth. Strumming the last chord of the final song of our set, I raise my hands in the air along with Aston to receive the praise from the crowd.

“Thank you so much for your enthusiasm tonight. You’ve been a great crowd, and we know you’ll love who’s coming up next. So stay tuned ‘cause Slayed are on their way. But right now, you have been Staked! Goodnight Austin,” Caleb says into the microphone, and I unplug my guitar and walk off the stage waving to the crowd with Aston following closely behind me.

I’m on a high and feel great, much better than when I went on stage. Climbing down the stairs, I look across to Dad and the rest of Slayed warming up in the wings of the backstage area. I pull my guitar off over my shoulders and place it on the stand, and smile at Dad, who winks back. I’m so glad to be on this tour with my family. He leans in kissing Mum and as I make my way to them they pull apart and both look at me and smile.

“Hey sweetheart, you did great tonight,” Mum says and pulls me in for a hug.

“Yeah Ella, you’re doing so well. I’m so proud of you. You know that, right?” Dad asks and I nod.

“Thanks. I’m trying my hardest out there for the fans. I wanna play well for them,” I tell Dad as Mum releases me from her grip.

“Well, you’re going about it the right way Ella,” Dad says and leans in kissing my forehead.

“Slayed, you ready?” Rob calls out.

“Go get ‘em, Dad! Show them how real rock stars do it.”

“Ella, you’re a real rock star too. Don’t think that you’re not,” he says. I smile and nod. “You’re just as good as we are. Remember that. You guys are going to go far Ella, I can see it. Believe in yourself.”

I can’t stop my smile as he hugs me and then walks off over to his other band mates.

“He’s right, Ella,” Mum reiterates.

“Maybe,” I reply and Mum rolls her eyes.

“Definitely! Now go and relax in the green room, and I’ll come and keep you company after your Dad’s been on for a bit.” She winks and I start the walk back toward the green room. I exhale wondering if Dad really thinks that Staked are as good as Slayed. I hope so. I’m lost in my thoughts when someone grabs my arm and pulls me into a side room. I stumble and lose my footing nearly falling over when strong arms encase my body and pull me up.

“Whoa, easy there sugar. It’s just me,” Danger says as I steady myself.

I let out a small giggle and ease forward into his arms as he pushes my body against the wall trapping me there with his. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I relax against him as I look into his blue eyes.

“Did you watch the show?”

He smiles and leans in planting a light kiss on the edge of my lips. “Sure did. It made me hard watching you stroke your guitar like that,” he says and instantly heat engulfs me. I lick my lips and swallow hard.

“So you’ve had a hard on for the last hour then?”

He grins and kisses under my ear and my breathing hitches. “Yes sugar, I’m aching for you.”

“So what do you want to do to me then?”

He bites my earlobe which sends a shock wave straight to my clit making it throb, then pulls back looking at me in the eyes.

“I want to fuck you, Ella. Hard. Fast. I want to feel you come so strongly your body won’t stop shaking,” he says looking directly at me. I gasp at his openness and then swallow the large lump that’s caught in my throat. “Let me fuck you, sugar,” he says. I bite my bottom lip and nod.

He smiles wide and leans in kissing me. His tongue assaults mine and his kiss is strong. Nothing passionate or soft about this kiss at all. His hands move to my hips and then down to the fly of my jeans. He makes quick work of undoing and pulling them and my panties down. He kneels in front of me while sliding them down and then taps my ankle and pulls one leg off after taking off my heels. He stands back up and runs his hands up my thighs to my hips.

“You’re so beautiful like this, sugar.”

I smile and then he spins me around so I’m facing the wall. “Danger?” I ask hesitantly, and he moves his hand to my waist and pulls me against him.

“It’s okay Ella, trust me.” His hand slides up my back and then he pushes me forward into the wall,  I gasp at the force he uses. Leaning against the wall my breathing is quick. I have no idea what he’s doing until I hear him undoing his zipper and his pants fall to the floor.

“Spread your legs, sugar.”

I gulp and take a step to the side spreading my legs for him. He steps in and his hands run down my side, his touch is setting me on fire. I’m breathing fast and my heart is beating rapidly. I have no idea what he has planned, and as I hear the music start up, I know no one will hear us. He moves in so I can feel his cock pressed against my arse, and I just hope like fuck he doesn’t want to do anal because I’m not down for that. His hand slips down from my hip and in between my thighs, he presses on my clit and I moan leaning my back into him. He chuckles and then runs his finger along my pussy.

“Good, you’re nice and wet for me,” he says and then pulls his finger away and places his hands back onto my hips. He leans us forward, so my entire front is pressed hard against the wall.

“I’ve been looking forward to this,” he says as he lines his rock hard cock up at my entrance.

I guess there’s not going to be any foreplay.

I take a deep breath getting ready as he positions his cock. He eases the tip in and I take a sharp inhale waiting for him to slowly ease into me, but his hands grip onto my hips and he thrusts into me forcefully and deeply knocking the wind right out of me as he slams me into the wall. I open my eyes wide adjusting to the fullness.

“Fuck Ella,” he says leaning all his weight into me.

I breathe trying to acclimatise to the feeling as his hands grip onto my waist tightly and he starts to move inside me. I close my eyes as my cheek slides against the wall with each of his thrusts.

This really is fucking.

It feels good and I like it. It’s just not what I was expecting.

One of his hands moves from my waist and he wraps my hair around his hand and pulls my head off the wall as he thrusts inside of me. He’s moaning and panting as he fucks me hard. My body is forced against the wall time and again unable to move, and the tightness of his grip on my hair has my head unable to move anywhere but backward. I’m panting right along with him as the pressure is building up inside of me.

Suddenly, an image of Chad’s beautiful face flashes in my mind and through the pleasure is an awkward pain. It suddenly feels wrong doing this with Danger. Even though this is just fucking and I like the feeling of dominance, it also feels a little like a punishment, and maybe I think that’s what I deserve for being so confused right now. I deserve to be punished. So the way Danger is fucking me is nothing short of what is necessary right now. I open my eyes to fight off the images of Chad’s face when Danger lets go of my hair and my head moves back against the wall with a thud. My cheek is scraping along the wall with the force of the thrusts inside me. His hand on my hip tightening with every groan and thrust as he moves inside of me. He’s fucking me and I can tell how much he’s enjoying it by his moaning.

My eyes begin to burn and I’m not sure why. I close them tight trying to relieve the burning sensation, but it’s not working. I see Chad’s face again. I open my eyes to rid the image and my eyes instantly fill with tears. I blink rapidly to rid the tears, but instead they fall down my cheeks. Not flowing, just one or two and it confuses me.

I’m enjoying this, so why the fuck am I crying?

I feel my climax building.

Why the hell are my eyes welling with tears?

I’m so confused right now.

Danger grabs my hair again and pulls my head to the side forcing his lips to my neck then nips and kisses. His teeth graze my skin and it makes me tingle all over. My back starts to arch and my body begins to shake while I clench my eyes shut, even though I don’t want to. I see Chad’s face again and my body flames red hot as everything tenses and then the world shifts on its axis and explodes sending a supernova-sized explosion right through my centre. I moan loudly as my knees begin to buckle. Feeling Danger tense behind me, he moans at the same time as he jolts and unloads inside me biting my neck as he comes.

We both breathe heavily, then he pulls out of me and we fall to the floor in a heap. He falls back and pulls me on top of him as we lay on the ground panting and coming down from the monumental peak we’ve both just experienced.

“Fuck me,” he whispers through staggered breaths.

I subtly wipe my wet face and cuddle into him. “I think I just did,” I reply and he chuckles.

“That’s what I’ve been waiting for, sugar. That was breathtakingly awesome.”

I inhale and swallow hard, I don’t know how to reply.

Was it great? Sure.

Did it feel good? Sure.

Was I thinking of another man? I don’t even want to think about that. I feel guilty. My stomach is churning and I feel sick. If I thought I was confused before, well now, I’m downright pissed off at myself. Chad is a friend and that’s how it will stay. I need to focus all my energy on Danger. Sure he has a different way about him, but he has a good side to him as well. I’ve seen it! This hard fucking side of him is different, but I don’t hate it. And just because it was different, doesn’t mean it’s bad. I just have to take Danger for what he is, the good and the different. He accepts me for who I am after all. So I need to do that for him.

“You okay, sugar?” he asks breaking me away from my thoughts.

“Yep, just coming down from the high is all,” I say as he brings his hand up and caresses my cheek.

“I wasn’t too rough was I? The hair pulling? It wasn’t too much, was it?” he asks and I look up at him and smile.

“It was just enough.”

He smiles wide and leans in kissing me strongly, his piercing sending a chill down my spine. I close my eyes and an image of Chad flashes through my mind again. I need to stop that from happening.

“Danger?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you think you could fuck me again?” I ask wanting to feel closer to him. I want to try and wipe the images of Chad from my mind once and for all and I’m sure Danger can do that.

He looks at me and smiles. “Anything for you, sugar,” he says and rolls over on top of me kissing me passionately.