Caleb

 

Sasha throws herself at me and I muffle the phone so Indi can’t hear as I push at Sasha with my free hand to get her away from me. I’m so incensed that I don’t even care that we’re in the hallway of the hotel. I’ll make a scene if I have to, to get Indi back. She comes at me again and I drive her back, but she just laughs as I bring the phone back up to my ear.

“Indi, baby, I swear she’s just trying to cause trouble…Indi? Are you there?” I ask and all I hear is a deathly silence. My anger bubbles to the surface and I clench my fists as tightly as possible.

“Get. Away. From. Me!” I say softly and succinctly, but with a harsh fierceness that makes me want to rip Sasha’s throat out.

“Awe, did little princess Indi hang up?” Sasha asks.

I race forward and grab her wrists in my hands tightly letting her know I mean business.

“Don’t you even say her name! Now fuck off before I can’t control my rage anymore,” I say and she frowns and yanks her wrists free from my grip.

“Fine, but one day, Caleb, I will have you.”

“I swear to God, Sasha, if you come near me or Indi again, I will kill you. Don’t put it past me. I would do anything for Indi and if that meant spending a life sentence in prison just so she would be rid of you, then I’d gladly serve my time,” I say meaning every word.

“You don’t have the guts to kill anyone, Caleb,” she says and I shake my head and scowl.

“Try me.”

“You know that time we slept together and it caused all kinds of problems for you and Miss Indi?” she says with a stupid grin on her face. “Well, we never actually slept together. You rang, said you needed someone to talk to and for me to bring more alcohol, so I did. I got you so drunk you wouldn’t remember. I ended up getting you naked, planted a condom with moisturiser in it and made it look like we had sex so you would keep seeing me. I’m absolutely positive you couldn’t have gotten it up even if you wanted to have sex with me, which at the time, you swore you didn’t. You were all about how much you loved your precious Indi. I thought it was rude to call me up and invite me over to talk about another girl, so I set you up. Then you did it to me again, rang me up wanting to talk. So, in return, I wanted to fuck up your life for treating me so badly. So tell me, Caleb, do you have the guts to kill someone?” she asks.

Hatred burns in me so blistering hot that I lunge forward slamming her against the wall. Dropping my phone, I bring my hands up around her tiny little fucking throat and squeeze so tight I can’t control myself. She gasps for air and claws at my hands. I smile feeling the rush of her pain, the pain I know Indi would be feeling right now, and the pain she’s caused us in the past. I know I’m not of sound mind, but I need to prove to Sasha that this shit can’t happen again. I tighten my hands around her neck. Feeling the life fading from her is giving me immense pleasure. Her eyes bulge out of her eye sockets and she starts to kick her legs around.

“Caleb,” she gasps out hardly audible as she scratches at my hands. I lift her higher off the ground and bring my face so close to hers as I glare into her eyes watching her terror as she looks back at me. Her lips start to turn blue and her eyes roll into the back of her head and watching this snaps me out of my trance and I let her go. She falls into a heap on the floor and scurries away from me like the fucking slut that she is.

“Believe me now, Sasha?” I ask through gritted teeth as I breathe heavily trying not to lose my shit completely in front of her. She nods and brings her hands to her throat as she gasps for air.

“Now stay the hell away from us. Forever! You got me? Or next time I won’t stop.” I take a step toward her, she flinches and nods her head emphatically. “Now get the fuck away from me,” I demand and she scurries up and runs toward the elevator and presses the button frantically while she gasps for air.

I take a deep breath and run my hand through my hair. I can’t believe I just did that, but at the time it seemed like the only way to make her see sense. It will probably be spread all over the papers in an hour, but I don’t care, all I care about right now is getting to Indi. I watch as she steps into the elevator and leaves. I bend down picking up my phone as I try to control my breathing. I can’t believe how far I let that get. I was so angry. Mainly because she let me believe I had slept with her, and for everything that happened with Indi because of that lie is just a fucking joke. Sasha is a joke and if she comes near me again, that is if I’m not arrested in half an hour for assault, then I swear I’m getting the cops involved even if it means I’m arrested for choking her. I can’t have someone like her near Indi, and who knows what she’s capable of. She’s one crazy mixed up clunge that’s for sure.

I grab my key card from my pocket and swipe it. After walking in I dial Indi’s number, but it rings out. I sit down on the bed and dial again, but it rings out once more.

“Fuck!”

I dial again and still nothing so I stand and pace the floor. I have no idea what to do other than to leave the tour and go and find Indi so I can explain absolutely everything. I can’t believe Sasha set me up like that? Making me think I’d slept with her by planting a fake condom on the bedside table? What a complete fucktard! I dial Indi one more time, all the while my heart is thrashing so fast I can hardly think straight. I need to talk to her like I need my last breath. I need her to pick up the damned phone. This time it doesn’t even ring and goes straight to voicemail.

She’s turned her phone off.

“For fuck’s sake!” I yell and pick up the bedside lamp and throw it at the wall. It shatters and hearing the sound of the glass fracture only makes me want more. I race forward to the desk and pick up the chair and smash it against the wall. The timber splintering into fragments is just like my heart knowing that Indi has probably given up on us already. I grab the small ornaments off the television cabinet and throw them at the floor to ceiling mirror and watch as they all smash and collide on the floor cascading in beautiful patterns of shattered glass all around the room.

I need to get out of here.

I need to go to Indi.

I need to go now.

I don’t bother to pack, I don’t need anything. The flight from here to London, if I take the band's jet, will only take a couple of hours give or take. I need to leave now because having her stew on this for nearly two hours is unacceptable and knowing Indi the way I do she will leave if she hasn’t already.

I walk out of my trashed hotel room and down to Dad’s room. He may not even be back from the after-party yet, but I need to let him know I’m leaving. I knock harshly on his door.

“Dad,” I call out and seconds later he answers with a scowl and glare.

“Caleb, shut up! You’ll wake everyone,” he says.

I shake my head and flare my nostrils in anger. “I don’t give a fuck. I’m leaving, just thought I’d let you know,” I say and turn to walk away.

He reaches out and grabs my arm. “What do you mean you’re leaving?” he asks and pulls me back to face him.

“Sasha came back and ruined everything. I need to get to Indi Dad before it’s too late,” I say and he takes a deep breath.

“Okay, just take a second and tell me what happened will you?”

“Sasha came to the after-party, took a photo of me when I wasn’t expecting it. Sent it to Indi. Indi said that if she ever saw me with Sasha again we would be done no questions asked, and now Indi won’t answer my calls. I have to get to her, Dad. I can’t let her think that I knew Sasha was here, and that I was…I just…I can’t let her think…fuck! Dad, she’s going to be so upset and I need to talk to her. I need to tell her that I love her. I need to make sure we’re okay because I can’t have gone the last four months without seeing her only for her take flight again, Dad, and you know she will. I’ll get back to London and she’ll be gone, and I can’t do it. I can’t...Fuck!” I yell and tighten my hand into a fist and slam it into the wall leaving a gaping hole. Dad huffs and grabs my hand trying to calm me, but my heart is breaking and I feel like I’m losing my shit as I shake my hands attempting to rid myself of the nervous tension I’m carrying.

“Then I strangled Sasha. Dad, I nearly killed her. And you know what, I liked it. I mean what kind of fucked up shit is that?” I murmur.

Dad grabs me by my shoulder and turns me to look at him. “What are you talking about?” he asks sternly.

“Sasha, she’s going to report me to the cops. I nearly killed her, Dad,” I say and he looks down the hall and pulls me into his room.

“Shut up! Don’t talk so loud,” he says slamming his door behind me and running his hand through his hair.

“Are you being serious with me right now? You actually strangled her? Where is she? Is she…breathing?”

“She’s okay, I dropped her before it was too late and she scurried off. Unfortunately, though, she’s probably told the press by now—”

“Shit, Caleb!” Dad says loudly pulling out his phone.

“What are you doing?” I ask as he types on his phone.

“Fixing your fuck up.”

“Fuck!” I yell and pick up a statue of a bird and throw it at the wall watching it smash.

“Caleb, stop it! And shut up,” Dad says as he finishes typing on his phone.

I swallow hard while running my hands over my face trying to scrub away the pain of the last ten minutes of my fucked up life.

“Caleb, you need to calm down. You need to stay here and focus, because if you flee the country and Sasha talks, you could be in deep shit,” Dad states the obvious.

I turn to face him while shaking my head. “No, I have to go. I have to get to Indi—”

“No, you need to give her time and you need to stay here so you don’t look guilty if something does come out. Caleb, think about this. This is your life here. Do you want to spend it in a German prison?”

I take a deep breath running my hands through my hair and shaking my head.

“No, you don’t. Indi will answer, eventually, and if she doesn’t you can see her when you get back in two weeks if this all blows over. I’m sorry, but I’m thinking of you here, Caleb. You’ve done something so incredibly stupid and now you need to think about your future.”

I sit on the edge of his bed and rest my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands.

“What am I going to do, Dad?” I ask suddenly feeling extremely overwhelmed.

Emotionally I’m spent. I’m so worried about Indi and what she must be going through. I’m concerned about Sasha, not about her wellbeing because to be honest I wish I’d snapped her neck. But I’m worried about her going to the authorities or the papers and I’m concerned about what this will do to the tour, my band mates, my family, and to Indi when she finds out I nearly strangled someone to death. She will be upset that I had so much anger in me to do something like that. Hell, I don’t like it, but it happened and I can’t change it now. All I can do is hope that whatever, or whoever Dad has talked to will help out however they can.

“Look, all I can say is that you need to think straight, Caleb. And right now, unfortunately, Indi is not your top priority. As much as I love her and I know what a flight risk she is, you can’t leave the country. I can’t lose you, Caleb,” Dad says sitting down next to me and my heart lurches into my throat and my stomach twists so violently I feel nauseous.

I shake my head as tears well in my eyes thinking of Indi sitting in London not knowing the full story and having given up on us. My heart thuds and I gasp at the sensation and the tears fall down onto my cheeks. All the emotion is too much for me and I can’t stand the fact that I have lost Indi…again, and more than likely for good this time.

“Hey, I hate seeing you like this. You’re such a strong man, Caleb,” Dad says wrapping his arm around my shoulders for comfort.

It doesn’t comfort me at all.

I feel cold, alone, and exhausted.

“I’m not strong when it comes to Indi, Dad. I’m weak and I’ve lost her, and it hurts so bad that I can’t fix it. I stuffed up again and it’s all my fault I can’t go to her now, all because of my fucked up anger. I’ve lost her Dad. I can’t believe I’ve finally lost her and for good this time,” I mumble through my distress. Dad sighs and holds onto me trying to make me feel a comfort that I know will never come.

 

***

 

Whatever Dad did to silence Sasha worked. We heard nothing after that night and I stayed in the country until we had to leave to continue the tour, and for two weeks I pined over Indi. I tried to reach her in any and every way I could think of. Phone, email, text, Facebook. I tried calling her at work, but no one would put me through to her. I even tried talking to her on stage hoping she’d see it via the live streaming if she was watching, but I heard nothing from her, and got an earful from Rob and Dad about confessing my love for someone on stage and sending subliminal messages about getting her to contact me. I feel lost, and I have no idea what to do other than to go to her house, which is what I plan on doing as soon as I get off this damn jet.

We landed ten minutes ago. I don’t understand why they’re taking so long to open the fucking doors.

“Caleb,” Dad calls out and I look down to him.

“Just be calm when you see her, okay?” he calls out and I nod as they open the doors and I rush down the stairs running as fast as I can to the taxi rank. I didn’t even say goodbye to everyone. I get in the taxi and give him the address to Indi’s house. I try to call her, but again nothing, so I leave a message telling her I’m back in London and coming to see her.

The car pulls up outside her house and it looks exactly the same. Her car isn’t out the front, but that’s fine if she isn’t here I’ll wait. I pay the driver and rush up the path to the front door and bang on it forcefully. I wait for Mrs. Latham to come out being nosey as usual, but she doesn’t. I bang again and eventually the door opens.

“Indi, I promise I…” I pause as I notice a little girl staring up at me. I furrow my brows. “Umm, hi, sorry, is Indi here?”

“Nope, just me and Mummy,” she says.

“Who’s Mummy?”

I hear footsteps and then a redheaded lady walks up to the door.

“Can I help you?” she asks grabbing her daughter and pulling her back to her.

“Umm, yeah, sorry, I’m looking for Indi? She lives here?” I question wondering who these people are.

“Oh right, she moved out. We live here, we moved in a week ago.”

Oh crap, she’s flown again.

“Right, umm, did Indi leave a forwarding address?” I ask and she smiles and shakes her head.

“No, sorry.”

I exhale and slump as I run my hand through my hair in frustration.

“Right…right, okay…sorry. Um, thanks…okay,” I stutter out and walk away from the house that holds so many memories for me and Indi. I can’t believe she just up and left again.

I swallow hard and decide to make a move for the only place I can think of where she might have gone.

Kenzi.