Mase is so excited about heading up to Aberdeen for Christmas and he’s also keen to see Evie again, I know this because I heard it on the side when Brax wasn’t listening. I hope that he’s able to spend some time with Brax’s sister again. I know they hit it off well when his family visited and saw Red Velvet perform. It would be nice to see Mase happy. He certainly needs something to bring him out of the funk he’s in at the moment.

He left a few minutes ago after we put Charli to bed, and now I’ve been set the task of calling Hunter to see if he’s also in on this trip to Scotland for Christmas. I’m not sure how I feel about it all, to be honest. I don’t know whether I will cope being around people while I’m feeling so miserable. Christmas is just not something I like to celebrate.

Sighing as I pick up my phone, I press the contact number for my brother. Bringing the phone to my ear, my heart is racing slightly as the ring tone sounds high-pitched in my ear.

“Little lamb.”

I can’t help but smile at the jovial sound of Hunter’s voice. “Hey bro, how’s your night going?”

“Same old. What’s up with you?” he asks and I figure I may as well get straight to the point.

“Okay, so Brax wants to know if you wish to go to Aberdeen for the holidays? I said that you probably wouldn’t want to considering the anniversary and everything, so we don’t have to go. I’m happy for us to stay home and—”

“I already know about the trip to Scotland, and I’ve already said yes,” he interrupts.

My eyes open wide and I scoff. “You what?”

“I said yes, we’d go.”

I shake my head and lean back against the bedhead as Brax walks in and sits down on the bed next to me with a grin on his face.

“When did Brax ask you?” I glare at Brax and he chuckles as he lays down on the bed next to me, the bed dipping making me roll into his side.

“Two days ago. Brax was just waiting for the right time to ask Mason, ‘cause he knew that would seal the deal.”

I scoff and look down at Brax and gently punch his leg. He chuckles as I breathe harshly through my nose.

“Jerk,” I murmur. He flops his head to the side closing his eyes pretending to be asleep.

I giggle and shake my head as Hunter chuckles down the line. “It will be good for us to get away and be in a family environment. Hopefully, it will distract and help us to remember the great things about Christmas, not the horrible things. We need to make this Christmas a good time for Charli, not some sad and depressing time. It’s not fair on her otherwise.”

I gnaw on my bottom lip. I know Hunter is right. I’ve had five years to wallow about my mother’s passing. Charli is already one, and I don’t want her thinking that Christmas is a time of year for mourning. Especially when she’s never even met her grandmother.

Maybe going to Aberdeen is the right choice after all.

“Okay fine, we’re going to Aberdeen for Christmas.”

Brax suddenly wakes from his fake slumber and looks at me, his eyes glistening brightly and his smile so full it fills me with pure joy. He moves his hand to my cheek and caresses it tenderly. The tenderness of his touch brings a warmth that only his love can give. I just wish he would tell me he loves me again. I’m dying to hear it from him when he’s conscious.

“Great choice, Amber,” Hunter’s voice reminds me that I’m actually still on a call and not lost in the room with Brax.

“Okay, so I’ll talk to you soon. Have a good night.”

“Night, little lamb.” He hangs up the phone and Brax doesn’t hesitate. His lips are on mine instantly the phone leaves my ear. His tongue enters my mouth and moves with mine vigorously letting me know how excited he is about this. I’m glad he’s enthused. I just hope that I don’t make a blubbering fool of myself in front of his family. I’ll need to keep my emotions in check so as to not spoil the day.

Slowly, I pull back from his lips and cuddle into him as he chuckles.

“There, that wasn’t so hard was it?” he asks.

“Well, is having Christmas at your parents’ place going to be all Rudolph and Rockin’ around the Christmas tree?”

He chuckles and places a stray hair behind my ear. “I’ll make it special, I promise. Nothing tacky or over the top about it.”

I smile at him and nod. “Okay. Just know that I might not be myself. I could be moody and I might not be able to break out of it.”

He leans in kissing my nose and the gesture calms me slightly. “Baby, I’ll be there for you no matter what. If you need to spend the entire time in the bedroom crying, I’ll be there for you. As long as we’re together that’s all that matters to me. I just want to look after you.”

I cuddle into him and wrap myself in him as much as possible without hurting his shoulder.

“You’re too good for me.”

“No, baby. I just treat you how my queen should be treated.”

I look up at him and smile. He has such a way with words. I lean in and kiss him, I don’t plan on letting my lips part from his for the next few hours.

 

***

 

It’s two days before Christmas day and Brax, Hunter, Charli, Mase and I are driving up to Aberdeen for our Christmas vacation. The drive itself is going to take us around eight and a half to nine hours. We are driving to Milltimber, which is about twenty minutes from Aberdeen. We’ve taken the band’s bus, so we can all stretch out on the long-haul and with Hunter driving as usual, it kind of feels like we’re back on tour, just a bit quieter without Jayce and Coops.

It’s been a long day and I’m starting to get weary. Charli is asleep in my arms and Brax and Mason are chatting about how they’re going to relax their strict eating meal plans and eat like utter pigs while they’re at the Braxton farm. I can’t help but giggle as the bus moves slowly from side to side as the tires roll across the bitumen. The night sky is setting in it’s hues of purples and turquoise which are now fading into dark blues and blacks as the full moon rises in the south-east. The rays of moonlight shine down through the clouds looking like a little piece of heaven is falling from the sky.

I’m surprised at how upmarket the streets seem to be as we pull into Milltimber. All the houses are decorated brightly with Christmas lights and decorations, and the town has really gone all out for Christmas this year. The slight depression I felt washing over me at the looming anniversary of Mum’s death is moving away as the excitement of Christmas enriches me. The last five years I’ve been locked away in my house, not seeing the bright lights and decorations ordaining the streets and houses. Now being out and about, and seeing everyone else getting into the festive spirit, I can’t help but become a little enthused by it all.

Suddenly, the image of my mother cooking gingerbread men slams into my brain. She’s wearing her red apron, her beautiful blonde hair flowing over her shoulders in ringlets. My stomach clenches and my chest tightens. My face falls into a frown, and I feel sad all over again. It’s like just as I begin to feel happy about Christmas, a memory floods back reminding me why I hate it so much. Nuzzling into Charli, she eases my nerves. Brax looks at me and furrows his brows breaking his conversation with Mason to hold my arm and caress it tenderly. The gentle touch soothes me even further.

“You okay?”

I fake a smile and nod, but don’t say anything for fear of my voice cracking and giving me away. Turning my head, I glance out the window to see the streets lined with decorations and the general hubbub of Christmas. He doesn’t push, and moments later we’re pulling down a long driveway. I glance at Brax and he smiles brightly.

“We’re here,” he announces.

Looking at me, he smiles leaning in kissing my forehead and then leaning down to kiss Charli’s sleeping head. She stirs slightly, and then goes back to sleep as Brax stands up bouncing from one foot to the other in excitement.

We pull up around a large horseshoe drive and I notice a big country style cottage come into view. It’s made of sandstone, and the home itself looks like it’s quite large. It’s only one story, wide and very rustic, but in a modern looking kind of way. It’s simply beautiful. Off to the side is a paddock and in it are two horses casually eating grass. I smile and shake my head. I had no idea Brax’s parents were loaded.

“Okay, let’s get off this bus. I need to stretch my legs,” Hunter says.

I stand as Charli jolts awake to the sound of a barking dog. She gurgles and moves in my arms, so I sit her upright and place her on my hip as I move through the bus behind Brax toward the exit. Stepping off the bus my shoes crunch against the pebbled dirt on the ground. My muscles scream at me for being seated for too long, so I stretch them as much as I can while taking a couple of steps forward so everyone can get off the bus.

Two dogs run up to us out of nowhere and I giggle as they wag their tails manically and bark happily announcing to everyone that we’ve arrived. Charli giggles as I bend down to pet one of them who’s sniffing me. It’s a chocolate brown colour and is quite big, so I don’t have to bend too far down to pet it. Charli reaches her hand out for the dog and I bend slightly letting her pet the dog gently. It’s nice she isn’t scared, she’s never really been around dogs before so I’m glad my little ladybug isn’t afraid.

Brax steps up behind me and the two dogs, the chocolate brown one and a golden one that’s making friends with Hunter, spot Brax and it’s like a switch goes off in their brains. They bolt up to him and proceed to jump up all over him making us all laugh as he chuckles patting and cuddling into them.

“Hey guys, I missed you too.”

“What’s their names?” I ask.

“The chocolate brown one, that’s Thunder he’s a boy, and the golden one that’s Coco, she’s a girl.”

“What are they?” Hunter asks as Coco continues to jump all over Brax.

“Labradoodles,” Brax says as he squats down cuddling into Thunder.

“Oh, you’re here!” a shrill voice chimes out making us all turn around to see Sandra running toward us wearing a Santa style apron covered in flour. I giggle as she rushes to me, avoiding Brax and wraps me in her arms nuzzling her face into Charli making her giggle.

“Welcome to our home, darlings.”

I must admit I’m a little shocked by her affections, but I embrace her and feel the love and warmth in her welcome. It makes me remember what family is all about. “It’s nice to see you again.”

Brax chuckles and walks over to us with the dogs running around his feet. “Well, it’s nice to know when you’ve been shot, who your mother runs to first.”

Sandra laughs and tilts her head looking at Brax adoringly. “Hello handsome, you were next on my list.” She pulls him in for a tight embrace and he groans as she obviously pulls him too hard hurting his shoulder.

“Oh crap, sorry darling.”

Brax chuckles and shakes his head as Sandra pulls back and rubs his arm in the sling and then pats his cheek lovingly. “I’m so proud of what you did to save Amber and the baby. You’re a true hero, but I already knew that.”

“Here, here,” Hunter and Mason both say in unison making me smile.

Sandra looks at the guys and grins. “It’s so good to see you two again. Thank you for coming. It’s always good to have friends over for Christmas. The more, the merrier!”

We all smile and Sandra waves at us as she turns and heads toward the house. “Come inside, everyone is dying to see you.”

Hoisting Charli on my hip a little higher, I walk with Brax along the pebbled driveway through the double white wooden doors and inside the house. The foyer is stunning and pristine. Everything is made of granite and polished, it shines so much I wonder if I might slide over.

We walk through to the living room and my eyes open wide. It’s seriously like the North Pole vomited in here! There’s decorations lining every inch of the room. The tree hits the ceiling, and even though Christmas to excess makes me want to kill myself, this is done tastefully. Everything matches, in its silver, white and aqua—the room is simply stunning.

Although seeing all the Christmas stockings hanging over the fireplace reminds me of my childhood and is bringing back memories of my mother, I’m starting to feel uncomfortable looking at the room and cling onto Charli tighter needing a little bit of calmness. I don’t see anything other than the decorations when a set of arms wrap around me tightly, snapping me away from my trance.

“Amber, it’s so good to see you again.” I blink a few times trying to get my bearings and then I realise Evie is hugging me. I quickly wrap an arm around her and hug her back.

“Hey Evie, it’s so good to see you again, too. How have you been?” I ask and I can’t help but notice she isn’t looking at me anymore, her gaze has been taken by something else. I turn to see her fully focused on Mason, who’s chatting to Derek, Brax’s brother.

Inwardly I giggle and thank Evie for making me feel a thousand times better. I glance at Mason who looks up to see Evie staring, and he looks at her and smiles back at her. She giggles and looks away seemingly embarrassed. It’s so cute, I just hope Brax didn’t notice.

“Mason and Hunter, we’ve set you both up in the guest house. There’s a bedroom in there for each of you, plus bathroom and kitchen facilities, but you’ll have all your meals in the family home with us. Amber dear, you’ll stay in Brax’s old room.”

I open my eyes wide and shake my head in shock. “No, surely Brax should have his old room?” I ask and Sandra and Evie laugh.

“No silly, he’s sleeping in there with you. We’re not prudes, we know you’re together and we’re not concerned about you being in the same room. We have a cot set up in the adjoining room for Charli, so she can either stay in with you or in the guest room next door, whatever you’re comfortable with. There’s plenty of room for everyone!”

I don’t know what to say, I’m a little in awe of Brax’s family. They’re so welcoming. It’s nice to be taken in so freely. Brax steps up to me and wraps his good arm around my shoulders. I lean into him and snuggle into his side as he kisses my head.

“Dinner is almost ready. So if you want to get unpacked and settled, by the time you do that everything should be on the table and Oscar will be back to greet you all.”

I had wondered where Brax’s dad was.

Sandra steps up and puts her arms out for Charli. I hand her over, and she cuddles into her as Charli plays with her blonde hair.

“Let’s get unpacked, hey baby? Let Mum swoon for a while,” Brax says watching his mother gush over Charli.

I giggle and turn around walking out of the North Pole and back toward the bus to fetch our luggage. I don’t say anything to Brax on the walk out to the bus, I’m in a thinking mood—I’m thinking about how nice this all is. About how it would have been nice for Mum to have met Sandra and Evie.

“Are you okay? Or is this all too much for you?” Brax’s smooth voice snaps me out of my own thoughts.

I look up at him as we reach the bus and smile. “No, it’s fine. It’s just…I was thinking of Mum and I think the next couple of days I may become more reserved and quiet. Please don’t take my quietness to heart, it’s just the time of year for me, I tend to reminisce a lot.”

He winces and nods leaning in pressing his lips to my forehead. “I understand, and I’m here if you need to talk.”

“Thanks.” I cuddle into him as Mason starts to grab our luggage and brings it off the bus to us.

Hopefully, this will be a Christmas where I learn to forget.