A month has passed since our wedding and things have been incredible. Chad’s been practicing with Slayed for their farewell concert, and tonight we’re at Wembley Stadium where Chad will perform live for the only time, in lieu of his father, with Slayed. I’ve been by Chad’s side all day, because not only is tonight’s concert huge for him, it’s also the one-year anniversary of Dingo and Sia’s deaths.

He’s been reticent all day and I expected that, but I’ve been here just helping him and the boys through this tough time. Mum’s with Carter and Carlton now, while I sit with Chad in the green room just before they head out on stage.

“Are you nervous?” I ask as he twirls his drumsticks through his fingers.

He shakes his head. “No not nervous, just want to play Dad’s songs well, I don’t want to stuff it up. You know what I mean? I want to make him proud,” he says and then swallows hard.

“Babe, everything you do makes him proud. Just know he’ll be in the front row watching and cheering you on,” I say and he takes a deep breath and nods as his eyes water.

“Yeah. Can you stand with the boys at the side of the stage when I’m playing?”

“Of course, there’s nowhere I’d rather be,” I say honestly and he nods sniffing, trying to hold back his tears. “I love you, and you’re the strongest person I know. You can do this,” I say and he exhales and slumps his body.

“What if I can’t? What if I get on stage and freeze? What if I fuck this up for Slayed because of my emotions?” he asks and I take his face in my hands.

“Babe, you got this! You’re strong, and you’re honouring his memory. You will get through the concert, and then you can fall apart after. Just remember, I’ll be here to help you through it, okay?” I say as a tear falls down his cheek and I wipe it away with my thumb.

“I miss them so much,” he says sniffing.

“I know, I do too. We all do. That’s why you have to get on that stage tonight and play your heart out for your Dad. Make him proud,” I say and he nods and leans forward kissing me.

“Right Slayed, are we ready to go?” Hux calls out.

I break from Chad and he looks up at Hux and nods. Standing up with him, we all walk down the halls to the back of the stage. Mum is standing there with the boys and I wave them over.

“Stand with me and watch Chad play?” I ask them both and they nod. They’re both having trouble keeping it together too, so I pull one either side of me and wrap my arms around their shoulders. Mum and Anna come and stand on either side of the boys as we watch Slayed prepare themselves to go on stage for the final time. Chad looks back at me and I nod and mouth ‘You got this.’ He takes a deep breath and smiles at me and the boys.

‘You can do this,’ I mouth again and he nods.

‘I love you,’ he mouths back and I smile and blow him a kiss as Dad slaps him on the back and pushes him toward the stage.

Slayed run up onto the stage, excluding Dad, and the crowd erupts in elation. I smile as the adrenalin hits me and I almost wish it was me on stage. I miss the thrill of performing. Staked is scheduled to perform soon so I will get my chance again. I watch Chad as he looks up at the screen behind him which is showing a picture of Slayed back in the early days. He looks at the images of his Dad and I see him falter for a second, but the crowd cheers again snapping him out of it, and he takes his seat behind the drums. I smile at him and tighten my grip on the boys.

He kicks the bass drum a couple of times and the vibration reverbs right through my soul. I love it. Hux starts with the guitar and Johnny follows with the bass, and then soon after Dad is running out on stage with his guitar, and the crowd erupts again stomping and cheering so loud it’s almost deafening. I smile widely knowing that they would would love this as much as I am.

“Welcome to Wembley everyone. We are Slayed and this is our last ever performance. We hope you like our show. It’s dedicated to the late and great Dingo and Sia Everly. Please put your hands together and raise your phones in a show of respect,” Dad says.

I look out at the crowd and the stadium lights up with a sea of phone screens. The sight is beautiful, and it takes my breath away as I bite my bottom lip while Chad continues to play perfectly. Dad starts singing and the concert is now in full swing. I hold onto the boys and they cuddle into my sides as we watch the entire show from the sidelines. Chad is playing well and the crowd is loving all the Slayed music.

The end of the concert arrives and they’re about to do the tribute piece. This was the part I was worried about with Chad and the boys. Dad wrote a song especially for Dingo and Sia and they’re going to play it now. Chad starts the slow drum beat and the song starts, and it fills my eyes with tears immediately. The lights dim and the backdrop shows family slides of photographs from the Everly family album. I pull the boys closer to me as they hold on tight watching the slideshow while Dad sings slowly about losing your best friend tragically. A photograph comes up of Chad with Dingo, and they’re pulling funny faces and it’s the best photo I’ve ever seen. It makes me laugh as I start to cry at the same time. The next photo is of Sia with her three boys, and she looks like she’s yelling at them. They’re all ignoring her, again it’s a funny photo and it makes me smile through my tears. Mum is struggling to hold it together as Anna holds onto her tightly as they both cry for their friend. The next photo is a family photo taken not long before they died, it’s all of them together and it breaks my heart knowing that they will never have another family photo. I start to really cry as the boys sob in my arms, but I hold onto them tightly while Dad finishes the song.

It was a really moving tribute, and as Chad steps out from behind the drum kit he walks up to the front of the stage, the rest of Slayed move with him to centre stage. Chad is crying and it breaks my heart as he looks back at the picture now firmly in place of Dingo and Sia on the screen. He blows a kiss to the screen, and then holds his drumsticks up into the air looking up into the sky. I burst into tears as he acknowledges his Dad, and Dad grabs him and pulls him in for support as the crowd cheers and applauds Slayed for the final time. They stomp their feet and the love emanating from the crowd is overwhelming.

“I want to thank you all for joining us here tonight for this tribute and farewell concert. Slayed has been a massive part of our lives for so long, and we’re so happy you all came with us for the ride. We need to thank this guy right here,” Dad says pulling Chad into him embracing him again. “Without Chad, this concert couldn’t have taken place. As far as we were concerned there was no one else who could fill Dingo’s shoes. No one came close except for his son, and my son-in-law. So thank you, Chad. We know how hard today is for you, and we thank you for having the courage and the strength to honour your parents today of all days,” Dad says.

Chad simply nods, wiping the tears from his face and patting Dad on the back as I cuddle into Carter and Carlton.

“We also wanted to let you know we have started a foundation in your father’s name to help kids with cancer. The foundation helps teach them music and gives them something to focus on other than their treatment, something fun and exciting, and we hope this small gesture will help you and your brothers heal,” Dad tells Chad. The crowd erupts in applause.

“Thanks again for coming tonight, we appreciate each and every one of you. Thanks for being loyal fans until the end. Just so you know Staked are going to be returning soon, so keep an eye out for them. Have a good night London,” Dad says and they all wave and walk off the stage.

I take a deep breath and smile so wide but also wiping my eyes from the tears that are falling. I don’t want Chad to know I’ve been crying, although the red eyes will probably give me away. Chad comes down and I walk our family over to greet him. He sees me and the boys and he bursts into tears. I frown and race to him, and so do the boys. We pull him into a family hug.

“Oh baby, you did so well,” I say and hold him tightly as he cries into my shoulder.

“I don’t know how I kept it together up there, I really don’t,” he says and Carter and Carlton grip onto him.

“Are you guys, okay?” he asks wiping his face looking down at his brothers.

“It was so sad, Chad. I miss them so much,” Carter says and Carlton just nods.

“I know guys, me too.”

I wrap myself around them all and hug them as tight as I can.

“But we’ll be okay. We have our family now, and we’ll make it through. I promise,” Chad says. I smile at him and we cuddle together as a family for a little while longer.

 

***

 

Staked has been back together and performing really well for a while now, and everything is going well. Carter and Carlton are fourteen and doing well with Susan’s home schooling. We did have some trouble with the paparazzi, so we’re glad we chose home schooling because if they were at a regular school it would’ve been much worse. Things are going to get a whole lot more hectic around the house now.

Chad’s just gotten back from the shops, and I have something to show him while the kids are in home school distracted. He walks into the bedroom looking for me carrying a bunch of flowers, I smile and bite my bottom lip as he grins at me knowing he’s done well.

“And what are these for?” I ask and he tilts his head to the side.

“What, a husband can’t buy his wife flowers for no reason?”

I walk up to him and wrap my arms around his neck and lean on my toes kissing his lips softly.

“Yes he can, anytime he wants to. They’re beautiful, thank you,” I say and he smiles placing them on the bed. “You’re such a romantic you know?”

“I know, you bring out the big gooey, squishy teddy bear in me,” he says and I smile and pull back from him.

“Well, I have something to show you, and I’m not sure what side it will bring out in you,” I say and he furrows his brows and purses his lips.

“Hmm…intriguing. Do tell,” he says and I take a deep breath and walk him to the bed and gesture for us to sit down.

“Shit this seems serious. Ella, are you sick?” he asks sitting down and swallowing hard.

I sit down next to him and take his hand in mine. “Not yet, but I will be,” I say and his eyes open wide and his body slumps as a look of sheer terror and panic washes over his face.

“Fuck Ella, what’s wrong?” he says, his voice harsh.

I pull out the test from my pocket and smile wide as I show it to him. He looks at it and shakes his head seeming confused.

“What’s that?” he asks and I place it in his hand.

“A pregnancy test,” I reply and his eyes shoot to mine and his breathing stops.

“Don’t fuck with me. Are you fucking with me?”

I giggle. “Not fucking with you.”

He stands up suddenly. I bite my bottom lip unable to read whether he’s happy or furious about this. “Well, is it positive?” he asks starting to pace the floor.

“Do you want it to be positive?” I ask and he looks at me and opens his eyes like I’ve said the most stupid thing in the history of the world.

“Are you kidding, of course, I do. Please tell me it’s positive,” he says finally smiling and rushing to me taking my face in his hands forcing me to look at him.

Relief floods my veins and I want to jump up and down on the spot. I simply nod and he lets out a small sob and leans down kissing me passionately. I’m taken aback by his reaction. I knew he wanted kids, I just didn’t know how badly. He pulls back and then he lifts me up from the bed. I giggle at his force.

“You’re fucking pregnant?” he asks, just to make sure.

“I’m fucking pregnant,” I reply and he laughs as tears flood down his cheeks.

“Oh my God! I’m so God damned happy right now. You’re so perfect. I fucking love you,” he says and forces his lips to mine. I giggle and wrap my arms around his neck running my hands through his hair and holding his face to mine. I couldn’t be happier than I am right at this moment. Chad is everything and having his baby completes me in every way.