My scalp is prickling and the movement of my hair slowly wakes me up. I open my eyes to feel Mason stroking his fingers through my hair and I glance up at him. He looks pale with a slight tinge of green.

“Shit, are you okay?”

He chuckles and then winces grabbing his head with his free hand. “Just one hell of a hangover.”

I raise my eyebrows at him and nod. “What do you remember?”

He exhales and continues to play with my hair. I wish he would stop that. “Not much, did we…you know…sleep together?” he asks raising an eyebrow questionably.

I roll my eyes and slap his chest. “No Mason, we did not, nor will we ever sleep together again.”

He half smiles. “Damn.”

I can’t hold back my giggle. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t remember the kiss, and I’m sure as hell not going to remind him. I don’t want him thinking there’s something here when there’s absolutely nothing.

“Right, let’s get dressed. You need to eat,” I say and detach myself from him and get out of bed. I feel his eyes on me, but I don’t turn to look at him. Instead, I get dressed. “Well, c’mon get some clothes on. You can’t get food in your underwear.”

He chuckles and slowly climbs out of the bed and starts to pull on his clothes when there’s a knock at the door. I’m dressed, so I figure I’ll go and answer it while Mason fumbles with his clothing. Walking to the door, I glance over my shoulder to see Mason hopping on one leg trying to yank his jeans on. I giggle thinking today will be a struggle for him. He deserves every second of it, too. Pulling the door back with a smile, I open it to a frowning Hunter. My smile falls as I take in his gruff demeanor.

He looks at me and then peers through the door to Mase, who’s still shirtless and trying to put on his pants. The stiffness in Hunter’s face and the pulsating vein in his neck tells me everything he’s thinking.

“No, I did not sleep with him! Who do you think I am Hunter?” I whisper to him and he glances at me as his tension ebbs and his shoulders slump.

“Good.” He walks past me and it’s only now that I notice he has a newspaper in his hands. I huff closing the suite door and walk in behind him.

“I hope you guys had fun last night because it’s all over the news.”

My eyes open wide just as Mase’s do, and Hunter hands Mase the paper. Mase grabs it flaring his nostrils and looks down at the article. I glance over to see pictures of Mase and Cooper being handcuffed in a hotel room, and beer bottles and a white substance lining the tables. Not to mention the naked women scattered throughout the room.

I grab the paper from Mason and my heart races as I look at the image again while staring at the headline.

 

Up and coming band, Red Velvet, spend their night living up to the rock star image.

 

My hand clenches the paper scrunching it, the crinkle ripping through the frigid air as if it were a thousand decibels through the stale silence.

“Jesus Mason, it was the last night of the tour and you had a wild sex orgy or something?” I berate and Mason frowns.

“Or something…” he says trailing off. I clench my fist tight and punch his arm hard. “Ouch! Fuck, Amber!”

“Well, what do you expect? This is our name you’re tarnishing. My name! They will think I was there too,” I say and throw my hands in the air and pace the floor.

“Who’s they?” Mason asks.

“I don’t know? People, the fans, agents, critics, record labels—you know, the people we need to make our band big?” I yell as I continue to pace.

“Amber calm down, this isn’t a big deal. Rock bands do drugs all the time. They have parties all the time. It’s not a problem,” he says and I scoff.

“Yeah, until social services come knocking on our door. What then, huh?” I stop and say right in his face. His posture stiffens and he looks down at the floor and swallows hard. “Yeah, didn’t think of that did you, arsehole? Think about Charli in this. She’s the one who suffers because of your stupid behaviour,” I yell and he exhales as Hunter places his hand on my shoulder and tries to calm me down.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t think—”

“Too right you didn’t think, you fucking idiot! I don’t believe you,” I yell and start to pace again. “Get out,” I say pointing to the door.

“What? This is my room?”

“You heard me, get out. I’m so mad right now and if anything happens as a backlash because of this, I’m ripping your balls off,” I say and he nods and skulks toward the door.

“I am sorry. I never want to upset you or Charli. You girls mean everything to me…everything,” he murmurs and walks out of the hotel room.

I exhale and slump down on the bed as Hunter looks at me and inhales.

“Are you okay?” he asks coming to sit next to me. The mattress dips and I wish it would keep descending and swallow me whole.

“I have no idea what’s going through that man’s mind,” I say and he nods.

“He wants to be a rock star and live it up, but he wants to be a good dad too. The guy’s confused—”

“So that gives him an excuse?” I glare at Hunter.

“No, not at all. Just give him some time to figure himself out. I’m sure this will wake him up.”

I exhale running my hand through my hair and nod. “I fucking hope so, for Charli’s sake,” I say and flop back on the bed.

“Let’s go grab some breakfast and then hit the road. It’s time to go home,” Hunter says and I nod.

I need to return back home.

I need to see Brax.

 

***

 

Brax: I just saw the news about the party and the arrests. Please tell me you’re okay?

 

Sitting for a moment, I tap my foot up and down repeatedly in nervousness. I hate that Brax found out via the news. I should have told him myself, I’ve just been so caught up with Mase and Hunter that I forgot to call Brax. I take a deep breath and hit reply.

 

Me: I’m fine. The guys threw a party. I wasn’t there and they got arrested. Mase was off his face. I stayed with him overnight when he was let out of custody, I didn’t want him to choke on his own vomit or something equally as gross. The guy’s a dickhead for doing that. I’m sorry you were worried. I should have messaged you sooner, but I promise I'm okay. Just missing you like crazy! Will I see you when I get home?

 

Hitting send I hope like hell Brax will be home when I get there. I’m aching to see him, it’s been over two months and I know he wants to be completely better before he sees me again, but I don’t know if I can survive that long without a taste. I miss his touch, just a hug and a kiss is all I need to tide me over.

 

Brax: Thank God you’re okay. I was drowning in worry. It’s good you looked after Mase. I’ve moved all of my stuff out, and I won’t be there when you get home. I think it’s for the best. But I’ve left a surprise on the kitchen bench for you :)

 

My lips turn down and practically slide off my face. I’m so disappointed. I really want to see him, but if not seeing me is going to allow him to recover quicker then I guess I can hold off a little longer. The fact he’s left a surprise for me though has me intrigued.

 

Me: You didn’t have to leave, but I understand. Where have you gone?

 

I hope he hasn’t gone back to Aberdeen. I know it’s not a million miles to Scotland, but it is nine hours by car and just over an hour by plane. So it’s still a fair distance. But I would travel it to see him, without question.

 

Brax: I’ve moved into a small condo not that far from you, just a few blocks away actually.

 

I can’t help the smile that forms on my face. Knowing he’s close by, and not on the other side of the United Kingdom, is doing wonders for my aching chest.

 

Me: We should catch up for coffee? Soon?

 

I hit send hoping he will be up for the idea. I need a Brax fix. I’m desperate to see him.

 

Brax: Soon, when I’m better. I feel guilty about what I did to you, and I’m not quite ready to face my demons yet. I hope you understand?

 

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I take in a deep breath. I understand. I don’t like it. I hate that he’s blaming himself, but I understand.

 

Me: I understand. I’ll see you when you’re ready, but I miss you and I hope you’re doing okay.

Brax: Hopefully it won’t be too much longer. I’m working on my guilt, and I know I need to face you. I just can’t do it yet.

 

I feel bad for him, I hate that he’s struggling so badly with his guilt. I want to try and ease it any way I can.

 

Me: I don’t blame you Brax, not at all. Please don’t be hard on yourself. If I don’t feel bad about it, you shouldn’t either. Don’t make yourself sick over this…please!

 

There’s a long pause and my heart starts to race wondering if he’s actually going to reply or not. I begin to move the screen to dial his number when the next text message comes through.

 

Brax: I know, but it still happened and I don’t forgive myself, even if you have.

 

I tense my body and shake my head. I wish he were here so I could slap some bloody sense into him.

 

Me: Well you need to forgive yourself so we can see each other because I feel so lonely without you Brax. I miss you so much, I feel like a part of me is missing. I need you.

 

I hit send hoping it’s the wake-up call he needs.

 

Brax: I need you too. I will see you soon baby. xo

 

***

 

The bus ride so far is frosty.

I’m in a bad mood.

I’m angry.

Angry at the guys for the party and being arrested.

Angry at Mason for trying it on with me.

Angry at Brax for not being at home when I get there.

I’m just seething and everyone is noticing, so they’re keeping their distance from me. The only bright spark in my day right now is sitting on my lap, making cute little gurgling noises. Charli really is the cutest little thing ever, and even though my rage is making me want to hurtle an axe into Mase’s head, Charli is simmering the fever down a notch.

“Amber…” Clara’s gentle voice seeps into my ears as I casually glance up to see her approaching. I smile and nod for her to sit down next to me. She’s one of the few people I’m not angry at.

“Darling, you have to let go of some of this anger you have. Otherwise, it will build up and fester making things harder with Mason.”

I look at her and half smile. Of course she’s right, being angry at the world won’t solve the problems. “Yeah, you’re right as always. Thanks, Clara. I just wish Mase would stop acting out.”

“I will. I promise.” I turn around to see Mase standing behind me.

“I hope so, for the sake of our daughter. You have to think about her in this.”

He takes a seat opposite me and nods his head. “I know, and that’s what I wanted to talk to you about. Can I take Charli for a couple of days? I miss spending time with her, and I want to be a responsible dad.”

My first instinct is to laugh hysterically in his face, but I keep it together and simply shake my head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

I’m met with a glare from Clara and a somber look from Mase, and instantly I feel bad.

“I promise, no parties, no one else will be at the house. Just me. Clara can come too if you want. I just need some time with my girl,” he says and I furrow my brows and huff as Clara stands up walking away from us.

“Are you sure?” I ask and he nods moving over next to me and wrapping his arm around my shoulders.

“I’m sure. Please, Amber. I shouldn’t really need to ask to spend time with my daughter,” he says and I slump my body because I know he’s right.

“Okay, just please don’t put her in any danger.”

“I’d never do that, Amber. I love her too much.” He leans in kissing me on the cheek and then leans in kissing Charli, who giggles and slaps at his face. He still looks pale, but his smile is brightly plastered all over his face making him seem more human and less post-apocalyptic zombie-like.

“Thanks, Amber.” He stands and walks away down the bus and Clara comes back sitting down next to me again.

My stomach is twisting and I feel a little sick.

“You did the right thing,” Clara says.

“I sure hope so.” I have no idea, with Mase’s recent behaviour, if he’s even capable of looking after a twelve-month-old. But I guess I have to trust him. I know he’d never willingly put her in danger. He does love her to bits.

We drive the rest of the way back to Richmond, back to my home. I can’t wait to sleep in my own bed after so long. I wish there’d be a tall, ruggedly handsome soldier slash bodyguard there waiting for me, but I know that’s not going to happen. We pull up and file off the bus. Clara makes quick work of opening up the house, and we all walk into the Hawaiian breeze fragrance wafting through the house. I smile wide knowing Brax must have set my burner going before he left. Walking into the kitchen, I remember Brax said there was a surprise waiting for me on the bench. My heart begins to race wondering what it is. As I turn the corner, I see a huge, and I mean massive, bunch of flowers sitting in the middle of the marble bench top.

I glance over at Clara, who’s grinning widely. I can’t contain my smile as I walk into the kitchen with Charli on my hip and straight up to the flowers. They’re simply stunning. The guys walk in placing their bags all over the place and the house instantly looks like a bomb has hit it. They completely ignore the giant bunch of flowers in the room as Hunter goes about making a pot of coffee.

Clara comes up to me as I lean down breathing in through my nose, the floral scent invading my nostrils. It’s like a flowery heaven and it’s made me so happy.

“Nice of him,” she whispers taking Charli from me. She winks and rubs my arm knowing how much this means to me.

“Can you get a bag packed for Charli for me, please?” Mase asks out of nowhere. I roll my eyes and decide I’ll take a better look at my flowers when all these men are gone and I’m alone. Then I can really appreciate them.

“Sure, don’t know why you can’t do it yourself…but sure, I’ll be your slave girl,” I call out walking into Charli’s room to pack her bag. I’m putting nappies into Charli’s backpack when heavy footsteps thump along the marbled floor, I turn to see Mason standing at the doorway looking in at me.

“Thanks so much for letting me have her. I really do appreciate it.” His smile is genuine and I can’t help but start to feel okay about this.

“It’s fine. How long will you have her for?” I ask hoping it’s no longer than a day or two. I couldn’t stand to be away from her for longer than that.

“Is three days okay?”

I close my eyes as my stomach tightens. That’s the longest I’ve ever been without her. My chest rises and falls quickly and my breaths come in short and shallow bursts, but I simply nod.

“This means a lot. I’ll Skype you so you can see her before bed each night, I promise.”

My chest tightens and I exhale looking up at him. “Just take good care of her. Give her her bottle three times a day and don’t forget her ladybug. She loves her ladybug.”

He walks over to me placing his hands on my arms steadying me. “Amber, I got this. She’ll be fine.”

I nod and fake a smile while grabbing her backpack and walk out of her room and into the kitchen with Mason. He walks over to Clara and pulls Charli into his arms. My foot is repeatedly tapping on the marble floor. I hate this. It’s going to be so lonely here without her. As he rubs his stubbly beard over her face, her giggles are like a symphony to my ears and I savour the sound knowing it will be absent from the house for the next seventy-two hours. I know I’ll be counting down each and every one of those hours that she’s gone.

He walks over to me and I lean in kissing Charli’s face all over. Her silky skin under my lips drives me into a frenzy and I can’t stop kissing her. It’s only when Clara grabs my arm and pulls me back that Mason laughs and looks at me with drooping eyes.

“Don’t worry, she’ll be fine. I’ll Skype you tonight, okay?”

I nod wrapping my arms around my body for a comfort that isn’t coming.

“Right, I’m off. Let’s go home, ladybug,” Mase says and Hunter, Jayce, and Cooper grab their bags and start to head out too.

Everyone’s leaving?

We all walk as a group to the front door. Our collective footsteps making it sound like a herd is making its way through my house. I pull the front door open, it creaks with a stiffness of not being used. Everyone files out, Hunter kisses my cheek as he leaves, but is busy texting so doesn’t say anything as he goes. I wave to Charli as Mase straps her in her car seat. Clara wraps her arm around my shoulders knowing that I hate this. At least Clara is here with me, and I’m not entirely alone. But I know her, she will be scarce around the house keeping to herself.

So I will practically be on my own.

For three whole days.

This is going to be torture!

The roar of the engines all fire, reverberating through my soul as they all drive off and I wave frantically to Charli even though she can’t see me. I try my hardest not to cry and I succeed. I’m becoming stronger. I smile at myself for being braver than normal and close the door as Clara walks off down to the kitchen.

I take a deep breath and slump my body.

Let the silence begin!