Chapter Two
Olivia PO
Monday
I need to get out of Virginia, I thought to myself as I woke up. The same thought that I’d had every single morning for the last five months. I have to get away from here. This place is killing me.
I sighed and flung my hand over my eyes, blocking out the bright white sunlight that reminded me that I needed to face yet another day by myself. I couldn’t stand it; it crushed me. This place was a nightmare now.
I always thought that I would leave the moment that I finished my teaching course. I wanted to head out to the city, to make something of myself, and I knew just where I wanted to be as well: New York City, the center of everything. I hadn’t ever been, but I used to obsessively collect magazine articles about it when I was younger, dreaming about the day when I would be walking through Manhattan myself. I couldn’t wait to get there. I loved working with kids, and I knew that was a job that could take me anywhere, and I couldn’t wait to go. I was offered a teaching job in my hometown, but I didn’t want it because I wanted to leave.
But then just before I ended my course, my father got sick, really sick, and my mother couldn’t cope. She couldn’t deal with it, so I stayed behind to help her. I didn’t take the teaching job because I couldn’t commit to it. Instead, I took on a part-time place at a preschool. Dad needed a lot of care, so I had to stick with him. It was an illness that took him away slowly and painfully. It was horrible to see the man who had always taken care of me, the man who’d been a hero through all of my life, slowly wasting away. I barely even registered that all the people I’d grown up with had moved away and moved on with their own lives. I was consumed by what I had to do. I worked when I needed to and spent the rest of the time helping out my parents. That was my whole life.
Then, eighteen months ago, he was finally taken from us. It was horrible to finally lose my father, but also relieving that he didn’t have to be in pain anymore. Still, it made my mother crumble and fall apart so still, I couldn’t go. After my father died, she needed me. Maybe some people would think it as an excuse not to move on with my life, but I saw it as the fact that I wouldn’t let anyone in my family down. I was an only child, so if my parents needed me, I couldn’t just abandon them. I would never be able to forgive myself.
Then Mom just gave up on living five months ago; there wasn’t even any sign that she was going to die, no real reason for it, she just seemed to literally give up—that was what the doctors told me. Then I started to realize how lonely I was. I had hit twenty-seven years of age, and my life was stagnant. I didn’t have any friends, my family was gone, all I had left was my dream. I couldn’t go for it right away, I had to get my head on straight, but the desperation was growing every single day. I had already put the house on the market, and while I wasn’t sure that I would get much for it, I hoped that it’d be enough to get me to where I needed to be.
With a weary sigh, I dragged my body out of bed, and I padded to the kitchen. While I waited for the kettle to boil, I scanned through the same websites on my cell phone that I did every single day. While most people checked their social media first thing, I always went to the New York City job listings to see what positions there were for a nanny or something else in child care. Even if I didn’t get them, it was fun to apply to see what I could get. If I ended up with something perfect, then I’d find a way to make it work somehow. It wouldn’t be hard for me to leave the preschool job. I hardly did any shifts there anymore. I felt pretty sure that the only reason they kept me on was because they felt sorry for me. They didn’t want to fire me outright.
“Ooh,” I muttered to myself as I spotted a new one. “What’s this?”
I got a rush of adrenaline, just as I did every time a new job was put up, but there was something about this one that got my heart racing faster. Mostly, it was the pay. It offered a lot more money than other similar jobs, which made it that much more exciting. For that sort of cash, I could use the bit I had saved up and go now. I wouldn’t have to wait for anything. I could be in New York, the place of my dreams, as soon as possible.
I sucked in a deep breath of air, weighing my options. There wasn’t much of a pros and cons list to be created because there wasn’t anything keeping me in my small hometown but fear. That was it. I didn’t need to be here for anything. And for a job this good, what other choice did I have? I had to.
I nodded to myself and filled out the application form with my heart thundering against my rib cage the entire time. I felt a little breathless and dizzy as I typed, but in a really good way. My dream was finally within my reach, I felt like I was close enough to touch it, but I wasn’t quite there yet. As I listed my positive points, my weaknesses, my experience and education, and my reasons for not working as much as I would have liked for the past few years, I felt good. There was a sense of uplifting in my chest, the heaviness that Virginia gave me was ebbing away.
I could get out of here, I thought with a stupid grin on my face. I could really freaking escape.
Once I read and re-read the information I’d typed, I hit sent, and I sent it flying away, taking my future with it. I hadn’t ever applied for a job in New York seriously before; it had always been a bit of a test. I never thought that I would actually end up getting any of them… but with this one, I actually hoped. I kept imagining myself actually doing this job, and loving it too. I knew that I would love it.
I flicked the radio on, needing something to distract me from what I’d just done while I sipped my coffee. This time I actually wanted an answer back, and I wanted it now. I couldn’t wait the endless days for a rejection to come through. I needed to know right now; I wanted to know if I could continue to dream of if.
I hummed to myself and danced, trying to shake off the excess energy that raced through my system as I did. It was the first time that I’d felt genuinely happy in ages, and I really didn’t want the crash to come just yet.
Ding, ding. All of a sudden, the email sound from my cell phone rang out, stopping me in my tracks. It couldn’t be… there was no way… but who else could it be? I didn’t get many emails from anyone. I stepped tentatively towards my cell phone, my hand shaking as I did, and I picked it up slowly. My heart raced, and I brought the email to life, my vision blurring as I looked at the words which could potentially change my life.
‘…I would like to see you for an interview on Tuesday…’
“Yes!” I fist pumped the air with excitement. That was awesome news! I was always better in person than I was in writing, which meant I could really make a good impression. Okay, so getting a flight to New York for the interview was going to take up a lot of my savings, but if I got it, it would be amazing. I could have easily made a million excuses why not to do it, but for once I wanted to just go for it.
As I typed out my reply, I had a giant smile on my face. Maybe this wouldn’t work out as I wanted it to, but if I put in enough determination, I could make my dream come true. It would be a way to get to New York anyway, my first time in the city of my dreams, so it was totally worth it.
“I’m going to New York,” I whispered to myself. “I’m actually going to New York; this is amazing.”
***
Oh, my goodness, this is everything, I thought to myself like an excitable child as I sat in the back of one of those wonderful yellow cabs, driving me through New York. This is just like I thought it would be.
It wasn’t anything like home with the towering buildings, the glittering skyline, the excitement. New York had with it an atmosphere that I couldn’t quite put words to, but it felt amazing. I always worried that the city might not live up to what I hoped that it would be, but now that I was here, it felt like something more. It felt like I was in a movie or a book; I was a heroine in a wonderful story that was only just beginning. For someone who’s life felt like it had been at an end for far too long, this was absolutely perfect.
“So, the nearest motel?” the cab driver asked me gruffly. “That’s where you want?”
With the minimal amount of dollars sitting in my pocket I didn’t have much choice. I couldn’t afford to stay anywhere fancy, which was a shame. I would have loved to sit on one of the balconies from one of the posh hotels staring over New York, but it was fine. If I made a success of this, it would be my home; I would live here. I would get to do all the things that I wanted to do then.
“Yes, please,” I replied with an excitable puppy dog nod. “That sounds perfect.”
As we pulled up outside the motel, I felt like I had some real freedom. I paid the cab driver and ordered myself a room. It wasn’t lovely, the bed didn’t look comfortable, and there was certainly no glamour about it, but none of that mattered. I was here, in my dream city. I was living a little bit of my dream.
Unfortunately, a wave of exhaustion hit me as I finally got into the room, one so powerful I knew that mean I couldn’t explore the city tonight. It was starting to get late anyway; I could easily sleep now and enjoy myself tomorrow. I had my interview in the afternoon, which left me all morning to enjoy myself.
I fell onto the bed in a heap, smiling to myself as I tried to work out just what I would do with the free time that I had. There were so many things that I wanted to see. I couldn’t do it all, but at least I could do some. I just needed to decide what my priority was to see what I wanted to do first of all.
God, I want this man to hire me, I thought desperately. Now that I’m here, I want it even more. I have to do whatever it takes to get it.