Chapter Nineteen
Roy – Thursday
“Thank you,” I smiled at the cab driver as he dropped me off at the airport. “Here, keep the change.”
Despite the fact that I wasn’t much looking forward to this business meeting, I was quite excited to get out of town for a while. I felt a bit like I’d been in a bit of a bubble for a while, and I wanted to stretch my wings. Florence was great, and I truly did love it as my home, I didn’t think I would ever want to move…but every now and again, it got a little stifling.
I quickly made my way through all of the security checks without a single hitch, and once I was inside, I glanced at my watch before realizing that I had a good hour before my plane left. I didn’t have any interest in shopping in duty free, so there really was only one choice for me. I wanted to head to the airport bar, to get myself a strong drink before facing all that needed to be done. I might have had all the information from Lewis locked tight shut in my briefcase, I wasn’t totally confident in all that I had to say.
“Whiskey, please,” I said to the young female bartender. “The strongest one you have.”
There was only one other guy in the bar, an older gentleman nursing his own drink and lost deep in thought, so I decided to take the time to call June. We’d been exchanging messages on and off ever since the first ones, but this was a moment when all I wanted was to hear her voice.
Ring, ring…
“Hello?” she answered almost right away. “Roy, what are you doing calling me? Aren’t you on your flight already?”
“Not yet,” I replied, a big smile already on my lips. “I’m at the airport now, just waiting.”
“Ah, so I’m the person you call when you’re bored,” she teased, making me chuckle joyfully.
“Yes, I suppose you are.” I took a big swig of my drink, before speaking out again. “And I’m miserable because I’m in a suit, so I guess I need you to cheer me up.”
“Well, I for one have seen you in a suit, so I know that you look damn fine. They might not be the comfiest things to wear, but you do look great,” she exclaimed happily. “I mean, do you think I want to wear high heels every time I see you? They hurt my feet like hell, but you’re just so tall.”
“Oh, well, when you put it like that…”
We laughed and teased each other for a little while longer, before June scolded me and told me that she needed to get back on with the article. That had my heart fluttering like crazy as I thought about where that might lead. What if I did help her get to where she needed to be and she left town, taking my heart with her? What if I just helped the first woman I’d had feelings for in a very long time to move away? Would that make me a good person or an idiot?
“Okay, well, I’ll speak to you soon,” I told her, unable to keep the sadness out of my tone. “Bye.”
Once I hung up the phone, I ordered another drink from the bartender, knowing that it would be my last one, and I knocked it back quickly.
“That was nice,” the only other punter spoke out to me, finally paying some attention to what was going on around him. “The way you spoke to your wife then. It sounds like true love.”
“Oh, she isn’t my wife,” I jumped in quickly, wanting to put him in the picture before he jumped to too many conclusions. I also wanted to tell him that it wasn’t true love and that we were only seeing each other very causally, but he continued talking over the top of me.
“Well, she soon will be. That’s the way I used to speak to my wife of fifty-five years. The teasing, the jokes, but the genuine affection, too. I think if you have all of those things, then you’ll have what it takes to go the distance.”
“And…where’s your wife now?” I became too involved in his story to correct him again. It was nice to hear about someone else’s love story, never mind the fact that he was comparing it to mine…not that me and June were even an item yet, much less anything else.
“Oh, she passed away two years ago,” he told me with a sincere look of sadness on his expression. “Betty was a wonderful woman, one who lived every day to the fullest, but unfortunately, the big C got it’s claws into her and it wasn’t discovered until far too late.”
I opened my mouth for a second, wanting to tell him that the exact same thing had happened to me with Shelley, but before any words could come, out I found my lips clamping tightly shut. I didn’t feel right talking about her and June in the same conversation, and I wasn’t sure why. I was certain that he could have understood everything, and that he would probably sympathize with me greatly, but that was a conversation that was much too heavy for the airport bar with a stranger.
“Anyway,” he glanced at the clock, before standing up. “My flight will be here in a moment.” He tossed down a hundred-dollar bill, before smiling widely at me. “Good luck, with your woman – don’t throw her away. She sounds like a good one.” Then he turned back to the bartender. “Keep the change, and pay for his drinks too.”
Then he turned and left, leaving me with only my thoughts for company. In only a few words, he had brought all of my feelings even more to the forefront of my mind, making me think about things on an even deeper level. I really didn’t want to throw things with June away, whatever they could become, but maybe I’d already done it. Who knew?
“Flight 465 to St. Louis boarding now…”
“Shit,” I muttered, grabbing my things. Time had passed much quicker than I’d been expecting, and now it was time to get on my way. I just needed to get this over with so that I could get back home.
***
“Hello there, Mr. Larkin,” an overexcited young man greeted me from the plane. “Would you like me to carry your things?” He was keen, wanting to get far in business, which reminded me of the person I’d once been. I wondered what was going on in his life, what drove him, what made him want to go as far as he could. My drive was money, and I’d more than achieved that. I wondered if this kid would do the same.
“No, I’m okay; thank you. Am I wanted today, or can I take the afternoon off?” I was teasing him, but his eyes opened wide in fear. “I’m just joking, kid,” I patted him on the back and laughed. “I know the meeting is tomorrow. Are you here to take me to my hotel?” I was really looking forward to some relaxing time, especially considering I had a lot going on in my mind.
“Yes, the car is outside…”
As we got out into the fresh, warm air, and I sat in the back of the far too fancy limo, I put in a call to Crystal. We’d had a chat the previous night because she usually looked after Tank for me, and I was so glad to discover that things were fine between us. She asked me about June, trying to check up on her, and she seemed pleased to hear what I had to say…particularly when I told her that June and Tank got on like a house on fire.
“Hi, Roy, how are you? How’s life outside of Florence?”
“Colors are so much brighter,” I joked. “I cannot believe it. How’s Tank?”
“He’s good. I’m actually with him right now. I’m sure he’s missing you, though.” As she said this, I could hear Tank barking away in the background. “Are you ready for your meeting?”
“Lewis has me prepared as always; you know what he’s like. I’m sure it’s going to be lots of fun.” I sighed deeply at that, wishing that I’d handed over the business before all of this. I wasn’t looking forward to any of it, at all. “You know how much I enjoy suits and stuffy investors.”
“Are you in your suit right now?” she asked wearily. “Why do you always bother when you know the meeting won’t be until tomorrow?”
“A young guy met me from the plane, someone from the company. I have to give off the right impression, you know that.” My excuses sounded weak, even to me, but that was the sort of thing that used to drive me. “I might not like it, but that’s the way it has to be.”
“I just wish you would find a way to balance it all,” she sighed, caring for me even though our relationship was on another level these days. “It’s going to end up driving you crazy.”
I kept my mouth shut, not yet telling her that I was done with the company because I’d promised the exclusive to June. I intended to tell Crystal before the article came out because I felt like I owed her that much considering she was the one person who cared about my well-being when no one else did, but just not yet. I didn’t want to give her the opportunity to gossip, even though I was pretty sure she wouldn’t.
“I will, I will,” I replied. “Thank you for always caring. And, thank you for looking after my boy, too. I wouldn’t be able to trust anyone else to care for him like you do, so I’m grateful.”
“Oh, I know. I wouldn’t do it otherwise. Now, you have a safe trip, and I’ll see you soon.”
As I hung up the phone, I realized one thing that hadn't ever hit me before: our interactions, our conversations, they were always about me. I never usually bothered to question Crystal on how things were going with her, how her son was doing, and whether or not her asshole ex was treating her any better. I knew that he was good with Bryan, but he’d always been a shit to her.
I’d made my mistakes when it came to Crystal, but we were never going to become anything serious, anyway. I knew that I’d be better when it came to June, that I would learn my lesson, but I wanted to be better as a friend to Crystal, too. I wanted to make up for all the times I’d been selfish and only thought of me. I wanted to thank her for being such a good person, even when I probably didn’t deserve it.
But now wasn’t the time to do any of that. Now, I needed to decipher Lewis’s notes that I’d already told him I’d made perfect sense of. I needed to have all the information that the investors might need to hand in case they asked me any difficult questions, which they undoubtedly would.
Just get through this… I told myself, already feeling weary. This is it… The last thing I need to do. Once this is done, my life will be my own again. I can go where I want and do what I want. I can finally spend the money that I thought I so desperately needed.
I needed that to get me through, otherwise I might not have been able to make it. I needed to focus on what was waiting for me at the other side if I didn’t want to scream in frustration about all that I had to get through. This was why the business was no longer for me: my heart was no longer in it. This was the right time to leave it all behind forever.