Chapter Thirty-Two
Olivia
“Oh, my goodness!” Justine squealed as she jumped over the next set of waves. “This is amazing.”
We had been playing in the ocean for what felt like forever, and while she was having a good time, I felt like I was about to drop. The lack of sleep and the jet lag had gotten to me, and I needed a good old rest. If it wasn’t for Justine, I would be asleep by now, having a nap, getting refreshed for tonight. I also had a funny feeling the factor of my sun cream wasn’t strong enough and my skin was getting a little burned. I didn’t tan easily; I was known for going from pale to red without ever turning brown. Hopefully a shower would help.
“It is.” I glanced over to Mark, who was spread across the sand, relaxing and loving life. At that moment, I hated him for having the chance to just chill out. “But we should get back soon, wake your dad up, don’t you think?” Justine glanced towards him and shrugged. “Oh, come on, don’t you miss him?”
The whole purpose of this trip was for them to spend some alone time together; I would make that happen at some point, but for now I would let it go. I suppose it wasn’t a hardship hanging out with Justine anyway. Now that she’d come out of her shell, she was an utter delight to be around.
As I thought about how much I liked her, it made my heart ache. That was the reason I shouldn’t be falling into bed with her father; it was so damn wrong of me. Why couldn’t I just resist him and keep away? Why, even now as I could think straighter about everything that I could potentially lose, did I still want him? There was such a yearning in my stomach, a tingling in my core, a racing to my pulse. I liked him more than I should.
He’s just sleeping with me because I’m there though; it isn’t the same for him.
Sure, he had apologized for that remark and suggested that he didn’t really mean it, but as it came out rapidly without him having to think about it, so I had to assume that at least elements of that statement were true. He couldn’t actually like me anyway; I wasn’t anywhere near his standards. It was just a fling… at least to him.
But how could I stop myself from falling? That was one thing that I really needed to work out. When I had to see him every single day, and when I didn’t really want to get another job, what else could I do? I had to look at him, to speak to him, to spend a lot of time in his presence, so I needed to work out a way how to control myself.
“Olivia!” Justine snapped loudly, dragging my attention away. I didn’t realize how much I was staring at Mark until that very moment. “I want to do a school report on the wildlife here. What do you think about that?”
Her homework… of course, I had almost forgotten about that. “Oh yeah, that’s a good idea.”
“Can we start now? I could write about the sea creatures, that would be good…”
Oh God, I didn’t like the idea of doing anything serious right now, I was too weary for that. “I think we should have fun today and do it tomorrow. Maybe you and your dad could go on a nature walk.”
“Without you?” Justine looked genuinely hurt. “But I want to be with you too.”
Hmm… this wasn’t going to be easy. I wanted them to have some time together, but Justine kept wanting me there too. I was touched, of course, it felt great to have Justine liking me as much as I did her; it warmed up my chest and made me fall even deeper for her. I guess it was something I needed to speak to Mark about.
“Oh, well, we’ll see.” I moved backward out of the water, and thankfully she followed. “Come on, let’s go.”
We walked through the sand until we got to Mark and as he pushed himself up into a sitting position, his eyes widened in shock. “Oh my God, Olivia, are you okay? You look really…” His eyes ran up and down me, and I shuddered violently under the intensity of his gaze. It was almost as if he was undressing me. “Red.”
Oh! Of course, he wasn’t going to say anything else; what was I even thinking? He couldn’t exactly make a dirty remark now, could he? I winced, feeling it even more as he mentioned it. “I know. I need a shower to work it out.” I moved my shoulders about. “I’m hoping that it just looks worse because I’m still out in the sun.”
“Okay, we should go back then.” Mark stood and grinned at Justine. “Then we can have a nice dinner. There’s a luau party not too far away from the villa that I thought we could go to. A fun way to spend our first night.”
“Looo… ow?” Justine looked confused. Her eyebrows furrowed deeply. “What does that even mean?”
“It’s a Hawaiian party where there are traditional foods and dancing. You’ll love it; it’s very different to anything that you’re used to.” He squeezed Justine’s shoulder. “It’ll be fun, I promise you.”
“Oh, I like dancing!” Justine bounced around, showing off her energy. I wanted just a little bit of that! Being exhausted all the time was starting to really get on my nerves. “Can I dance? It does sound fun.”
While they talked, I wondered if I would make it. With my skin pinching and stinging with every single movement, I wasn’t sure if the burn would be too bad. But I really did want to go to the luau party because it sounded like a whole lot of fun. I knew I would do whatever I could to get there.
***
After a brief shower, which only brought out the redness more, and a twenty-minute power nap, I threw a lightweight, white dress on, almost crying out in sheer pain as it brushed over me. But I was determined to go; I really wanted to know what the night was going to be like. Then, we left, and we walked down the beach to get to the luau. As we walked across the sand, Justine’s eyes lit up as she spotted a crab, so she rushed forward to grab it. She became utterly absorbed in the animal for just a second, undoubtedly thinking about the wildlife report that she was so desperate to write while she was here. As she stared at it, Mark slipped his fingers through mine in a shocking, romantic gesture. I wanted to whip around, to stare at him, but I had a funny feeling that would ruin things, so I stayed where I was, enjoying the touch until Justine turned back and he snatched his hand away again. He stuffed it into his pocket, completely shattering any chance of it happening again.
My hand felt lost and lonely without him. It was much better to have his skin next to mine.
What is going on here? I really wanted to know, but it wasn’t the time to ask. How can I keep away?
I tried my hardest to keep my distance for the rest of the walk over and as we reached the loud very colorful party. Luckily, once we were there, I found lots of distractions, mostly Justine who wanted to try everything, eat all that was on offer, and dance a lot too, keeping both Mark and me busy. Thank God. There was no time to be worried about what the future might hold for us when we had so much to do. Keeping busy was clearly the key! I could work with that, especially in Hawaii. There was so much that we could do here, and if it stopped feelings from flooding to the surface, then I would do it. I couldn’t keep losing my head over Mark.
“She’s really changed since you came along,” Mark whispered to me as one of the locals took Justine to get a lei and to show her some dance moves. “She never would have been like this before. She would have been hiding away in the corner, refusing to speak to anyone. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her have fun before.”
His words felt weighted, or maybe that was just me projecting my own emotions across. Now that I could feel myself free falling into love, everything was intensified. I read between the lines and saw, or tried to see, that he wanted me to stick around. My heart thumped against my rib cage; I felt like I was floating; it was nuts. My heart and head argued among themselves, making it very challenging for me to think straight.
“Well, I’m glad,” I practically whispered back. “Justine deserves to be happy.”
“You’ve made her that way, honestly.” He stared at her thoughtfully. “My mom would be proud.”
That was the first time he had really mentioned his mother to me, and it stunned me. “Oh, really?”
“Yeah.” He twisted his neck and smirked at me. “She would love you. You’ve managed to kick us both in the ass. She tried to do that the whole time, and we refused to listen.”
“But what’s different about me?” Those words flew out of my mouth before I realized. I parted my lips trying to think of the right words to take that statement back, but it was too late, it was out there now.
“Oh, there are so many things different about you. I can’t even begin to list them.” He laughed a little and shook his head as he shared a joke with himself. “You honestly have no idea.”
That was definitely weighted; it wasn’t me at all. I had made the decision that I would keep out of Mark’s room the entire time that we were here if I could, to keep things as simple as possible between us, but it felt hard now. I wasn’t sure that I could do it. Did he like me? Was it possible? Had I read anything wrong?
“Oh well…” My words trailed off; I felt useless. “I’m just glad that I can help.”
“You’ve been more of a help than you realize. I don’t think I can ever thank you enough.”
“I…” The compliments felt a bit overwhelming. “I don’t expect thanks; it’s fine. It’s my job.”
“I know that you’ve done more than the job requires, and I’m grateful.” Something about the party atmosphere made his lips much looser, and he said things that I didn’t think he would normally. “So, thank you for that.”
“Oh, right, well…” Why did I feel so awkward? “You’re welcome.”
The chemistry sizzled between us again; it was undeniable. I knew that if I looked at Mark right now, I would be in real trouble, so I kept my gaze focused on Justine instead. I watched her dance, trying my hardest to ignore all the butterflies and birds flapping about in my stomach, turning and churning like crazy. We weren’t touching; I kept trying to keep the distance between us, but to be honest, it felt pointless. We might as well have ben naked, straddling one another, writhing as if there was no one watching for all the good it did. Everyone in this whole place probably knew how we felt about one another; there was no ignoring it for anyone.
I just needed to keep away from him until I knew how we both felt, that was all. There couldn’t be anymore fooling around; it had to stop or become something. That was the only way. Easy.
God, I hope it doesn’t stop…