Chapter Twenty-Three
Roy – Monday
When Tank woke me up just before dawn in the way that he always did, it took me a few moments to work out where the hell I was. The curtains were different, the mattress was slightly harder, the room smaller…but with the most beautiful woman alive in my arms, it hardly mattered.
I smiled to myself as I glanced down at her peaceful, resting body. Her face looked like a vision of beauty as it relaxed, her deep breathing was an almost musical sound, and the way her lips pouted as she dreamed made my heart beat a whole lot faster.
I considered leaving her asleep, but then I didn’t want to get up and wander about her home by myself, not on my very first visit. Maybe once I’d been there a few times, but I couldn’t now. It was her personal space, and I didn’t know what needed to be kept private. So I did the only thing that I could: I woke her up in a gentle way by running kisses all over her face and neck, inhaling her sweet scent as I went.
“Grnhgh, what are you doing?” she grumbled, refusing to open her eyes, barely even turning over as I disturbed her. “It’s not even light out yet. What sort of person wakes up at the ungodly hour?”
“It is…just about daylight,” I argued. “Plus, I want to spend some time with you before you have to go to work. And, you haven’t even shown me your article yet.” Any excuse to get her awake! I just wanted to see those eyes, that smile, to hear her laugh.
Her eyes snapped open at that, like some horrifying thought had just hit her. “Oh, I know I did promise you that I’d show it to you, but I’ve had some thoughts about how it isn’t quite right yet. I need to finish up the ending…but I’ll show you then. I promise!”
I laughed at that, loving the adorable way that her perfectionist side came out. This was so important to her, and when I saw that desperation in her eyes, I realized that it didn’t actually matter what she’d written. There was no way she would have been derogatory about me, so how could it hurt?
“It honestly doesn’t matter, anyway. I trust you. I’m happy to read it when everyone else does.” I slid out from under the sheets, and gave her a grin. “But before you go anywhere, I want to make you something to eat. I wouldn’t want you to go into work starving now, would I?”
“Erm…I don’t think I have anything, I haven’t made it to the store yet…” God, she was just like me. “But feel free to have a look.”
“I am a miracle worker,” I teased. “I’ll be able to rustle something up out of anything.”
She propped herself up onto her elbows, giving me an adorable look – one that almost had me leaping into bed with her. I wanted to devour her, to ravish her body again, but I couldn’t. She just didn’t have the time, and I didn’t want to keep her away from her job just because I was on the verge of having no responsibilities again.
“Oh my God,” I called out from the kitchen, glad that she would be able to hear me from where she was, proving that there were at least some advantages to living in such a small home. “You really don’t have anything.” I pondered for a second, wondering if I could take her out to breakfast, before realizing that might get too many people gossiping about something that was far too new. “I’ll run out to the donut shop and bring some food back for us both.”
“You don’t have to do that,” she insisted as I wandered back into her bedroom, but it was too late. My mind was already made up, so I kissed her on the lips, tugged on some suitable clothing, and made my way out into the brisk, early morning air. I had tried to bring Tank with me, but the look he gave me as he snuggled back up on the sheets told me all that I needed to know: he had no intention of going anywhere with me. I was on my own.
As I wandered through the streets of Florence, I was surprised to see more people than I expected out and about. People heading to work, people out to get the morning paper the moment it became available, joggers, dog walkers…it was a hive of activity and the sun hadn't even risen yet. I was so out of the loop, hiding away up there on my ranch, and it made me realize just how much I’d missed. I’d allowed myself to become isolated, to live all alone in my own little world, and while all that had been going on, the world had continued to race on by. Time didn’t stop just because I did.
“Morning,” I called out to random people, faces I sort of recognized, with a smile on my face. I didn’t feel like I needed to keep away from the sympathetic gazes anymore because in reality, they’d vanished many years ago. In the way that life went, people moved on from a tragedy, particularly the people who weren’t directly involved with it. It was only me who’d gotten stuck in the past. I had no one to blame for that but myself.
Once I got back to June’s home, I noticed that she’d fallen back to sleep while I was outside, which made me smile. It seemed to me like she was a real get up and go type of person, rather than the sort who spent hours doing her makeup before work. That was the sort of no fuss woman that I needed in my life. One who wouldn’t mind getting dirty on the ranch whenever I needed her to do so.
Tank was lying with her, too, fast asleep. After waking me up so early and not reacting as I left, I couldn’t help feeling happy. He was obviously so comfortable around June that he already didn’t mind being with her by himself, something I never would have expected from him. In his old age, he’d become comfortable with his own little routine, so to let someone new in was something else.
“Hey, June,” I hissed at her. “I have some lovely warm donuts here…” As Tank glanced up at me, I shook my head at him. “Don’t worry, I didn’t forget you. I brought you some kolache.”
As we ate our breakfast, I got a real sense of family – this was the sort of morning that everyone wanted deep down, spending some real quality time with loved ones, just being happy. I really wanted it for myself, and I hoped that this could be the start of something new.
***
As I arrived back home, I felt a positive sensation bursting through my chest. I knew that I still had a lot to do on the ranch, but it didn’t feel quite like the burden it once had. I didn’t have other pressures resting on my shoulders anymore, so it would be fine. I mean, I still had the business handover to do, but that wouldn’t be too difficult, just a few papers to sign.
Before I headed to the barn to pick up my tools, before I even got home to drop off my stuff, I drove along the fence line to check what I needed. I had an idea, but because I’d been away and I’d had other stuff on my mind, I just wanted to be sure.
“What the hell?” I muttered to myself, noticing something strange around the back of my property. I couldn’t tell what it was from my car, but it piqued my interest so much that I couldn’t wait. I stopped the car and I got out there and then to check it out.
As soon as I moved my body out of the car, an intense cold, uneasy feeling ran through me. I wasn’t sure why, but I already had the feeling that this was going to be something bad – something that I didn’t know how to deal with, and I wasn’t sure why. My heart beat faster, my palms became sweaty with nerves, and I could even feel myself tremble.
I stepped closer, slowly, my brain trying to think of the millions of things it could be, trying desperately to find a rational explanation, but somehow, I just knew… This was bad, this was wrong…
“Fuck!” As soon as I got near enough, my worst fears were confirmed. It was a dead body – a stone-cold, dead body lying in front of me with glassy eyes and bluish skin. I couldn’t even take a second to try and work out what had happened because everything inside of me simply went into overdrive. I started to see all of the dead bodies that I had before, over and over in my mind, like I was having the worst nightmare possible.
My mom, in the open casket at her funeral, looking totally different from how I remembered her.
My dad, collapsed on the kitchen floor, the disease finally claiming him…
Shelley, in the hospital, with tubes coming out of every orifice…
And with that, I shut down. Every single one of my emotions shut down, and I became the numb void that I always was when faced with death. I took on a simple, clinical approach that my brain needed to, just to get through it.
“Hello?” the operator asked me, in an overly friendly tone of voice. “How can I help you?”
“There’s a dead body on my property,” I replied, in a monotone tone of voice. All I was thinking about was getting the information out, my delivery meant nothing to me. “I… I don’t know who the guy is. I’ve just come back from a trip and… Yeah, there’s a dead body here.”
“Right…” the woman on the other end of the phone drawled, as if she was unsure of what to say. That confused me, didn’t she deal with this kind of crazy shit all the time? “Can you tell me your address, please?”
I reeled it off, still sounding cold and unemotional, and as soon as I was done, I slumped down on the ground, feeling the intense numbness overcome me. It was as if my body needed to be empty, just to be able to function because I really couldn’t believe that it was happening to me again. Was I cursed? Destined to be surrounded by death my entire life? I couldn’t assume that it was only people that I cared about who would be affected, because I had no idea who this guy was.
I glanced over to him once more, just to confirm that fact, but nope…that wasn’t a face that I’d ever seen before. Even if I tried to picture that face filled with life, rather than being absolutely, one hundred percent dead, I still couldn’t see where I could know him from. I didn’t even know if he was someone from around here or not. He really could have been anyone.
Here it was, just another face to add to my nightmares. Mom, crushed by a car… Dad, riddled with illness… Shelley, losing the person that she once was… And now this stranger, slumped by the fence on my property, covered in blood.
With everyone else, I knew exactly what had happened to them, and it still tortured me. With this guy, I had no idea how the fuck he’d ended up dead at my ranch, far away from the town, so I knew that I’d be picturing all kinds of terrible things forever. Guns, knives, fists…something had killed this guy, and I had no idea what.