CHAPTER TWELVE
Diesel
The meeting with the Devil’s was sitting heavy on all of us. We knew that Savage was going to keep pushing, and he did. Now he wanted us to run his drugs. He wanted to own every market and he was building his empire as fast as he could.
Years before I had joined, the club had dealings in drugs. But they had long since pushed that out and vowed never to go back. Seemed life always had a way of testing us.
Cal was outraged but he kept his cool until the meeting was over. He knew he couldn’t say no easily. Cal told Savage that he was going to have to talk to the other chapters before giving an answer. Savage didn’t like that, but he took it, giving us two weeks to sort it all out. He left us with a very clear warning not to turn him down.
The whole ride back I couldn’t shake the thoughts of Ellie. The more I tried to think of something else, the more vivid she became. By the time we got back to the compound, I was a mix of hurt and pissed off. I found Tammy right away. It was almost as if she was waiting for me.
I tried my damnedest to convince myself that there was nothing different. That the thing with Ellie wasn’t special, and I was going to prove that to my head. Or so I kept telling myself.
As I slammed into Tammy’s wet and ready pussy over and over again, I just felt empty. It wasn’t the same. Or maybe that was the problem, it was the same. I knew Tammy like the back of my hand. Like I knew so many other girls. I knew all the dirty things she was going to beg me for, even before they came out of her mouth. I knew what move she was going to do next. I knew that halfway through her moans would turn into a porn-worthy production. I knew it all. And while I had never really been bored before because she would pretty much let me do anything and everything I wanted, it didn’t feel so great now. The moment I came, I looked down into her hooded and satisfied eyes and I almost felt sick.
However, that didn’t stop me. With my head spinning and my heart pounding, I spent the rest of the night and early morning going through every one of the club whores. One right after the other, until I was finally so sick of myself on the inside that I drank until I passed out.
We held church the next day, the other three chapters riding in to join. The room was packed and the mood buzzing with intensity and aggravation.
The overall vote was no. We weren’t going to go back to drugs and we weren’t going to give Savage another hold on us. If we didn’t push back in some way, how far would he go? We would forever be his bitch boys, doing all of his dirty work for nothing. I couldn’t say that I didn’t agree with the ruling, I had voted not to as well. I just wondered what would become of this. Savage wouldn’t let it rest easily.
Cal decided to wait the two weeks to tell Savage of the decision. It gave us a few weeks to breathe and prepare. By preparing, it meant stocking up on guns and adding security to the compound and around town.
When we gave Savage the answer I could tell he was livid under his cool demeanor. He didn’t say anything. He simply nodded and dismissed us. We weren’t stupid. We knew he was going to hit us at some point. Now it was all a waiting game. Cal didn’t put us on lockdown, but we all were staying put more than normal. Well, most of the brothers had been.
We continued our gun runs and avoided Savage as much as possible. We started doing nightly patrols through the town. I took as many as I could during the weekdays. Things seemed quiet and normal, but I knew better than to let my guard down.
“You’re heading out again?” Loch asked as he walked up behind me. I closed my saddlebag and turned around to face him.
This was the third weekend in a row I had spent out of town. Ellie wouldn’t leave my thoughts, and even though I knew I wouldn’t find her, I still kept going back and looking. I waited in that motel room hoping she would come knocking. But she hadn’t and in my heart, I knew she wouldn’t. It had been over two months since that night we shared, but I couldn’t fucking shake her. I went back to look for her as much as I could, but with all the shit going on with the club I couldn’t go every weekend.
I’d even asked at the bar and at the diner. But no one had seen her. Why I was still going? I had no fucking idea. She should have been married weeks ago, living her happy, little life that she was ready for. I was probably nowhere in her mind at all. An image of some faceless prick taking her popped up in my head more than I wanted it to. The thought of him touching her stabbed me deep in the chest. I realized that I had no right to feel that way, but I couldn’t help it.
I hadn’t touched anyone since that horrible night that I’d spent plowing through the club girls. My head was a mess and my dick started to take on a crazy mind of its own. Every time I thought about Ellie, the damn thing was harder than it had ever been. But when I would look at any other girl it was like he went into hiding.
“Yeah,” I supplied in a grunt.
I could sense more in his question but I wasn’t going to talk about it. I had kept what happened that night to myself, much like everything thing else in my life. It wasn’t uncommon for me to go off for a weekend here and there. But going off every weekend was more than likely raising a few red flags and eyebrows.
“You know I’m here if you need,” he said as I climbed on my bike and started it. I gave him a firm nod. “Be safe, brother.” Without another word, I took off headed in the direction of more disappointment.
I pulled up to the motel and paused at the door.
What am I doing?
I felt stupid and I hated that I couldn’t just let it go. I couldn’t let her go. I unlocked the door and tossed my stuff on the bed. Then I turned on my heels and stomped over to the strip club. I was going to get over Ellie. I needed to move on. And who better to help me out than the sexy redhead that I had sent away that very night. The one I should have ravaged in that room. It was time to get back to being me.
Cherry was walking the floor in a skimpy skirt and bra that barely held her huge, perky tits in. She smiled as soon as she saw me and headed my way. I sat down at a table in the back and lounged back casually.
“I was wondering when I would see you again,” she said in a playful tone.
“Been busy. Sorry, doll,” I said sending her a smirk that I knew would set her on fire. She bit her overly glossy lip and I knew I had her. “When are you done here?”
“Half hour.”
“Good,” I said gruffly.
“Drink?” I gave a short nod as my answer. She sauntered off knowing exactly what to bring me. I turned my eyes to the stage and waited.
Forty minutes later, I was stripping her down naked in my motel room and pushing her onto the bed. She pulled off my shirt right before my fingers delved into her pussy, her juices coated my hand. I forced myself to think of all of the wild and good times we’d had before, most of which had been in this very room. She reached for my buckle but I batted her hand away. Fuck! It wasn’t working. I wasn’t even half-hard.
I was determined to do this. My fingers pumped in and out of her as I licked around her pebbled nipple. Her heavy pants filled the room and her long nails dug into my back. I had to do this. I needed to focus enough to get myself in the game. Her moans became louder and I knew she was close. My fingers worked faster, my thumb brushing lightly over her clit. Her sounds were the perfect symphony that I knew by heart, only it wasn’t the right melody.
She screamed out my name as her walls trembled and attempted to pull my fingers in further. Her thighs had a death grip on my arm as I slowed down my pace until she finally sighed and relaxed.
“You know I like all this foreplay shit,” she said looking at me after she caught her breath. “But it has been far too long and I really just want you to fuck me now.”
As much as I convinced myself I wanted to, I couldn’t. Parts of me were just not into it at all. I sat back on my heels and sighed. I looked down at her beautiful body perfectly splayed out and ready for me. The intricate rose tattoo that covered her lower belly had once set me on fire. But now it was like a flashing light telling me that it wasn’t Ellie’s perfectly untarnished skin. Cherry’s dark, vibrant red hair wasn’t Ellie’s strawberry blonde. I was completely fucked.
“Uh oh,” she said, rising up on her elbows, her breasts swaying with the movement. “I know that look.”
I closed my eyes for a long moment before opening them and meeting hers. Her look was less pissed off than I had expected. Instead, she had a brow cocked in amusement.
“Fuck!” I growled as I frantically ran my fingers through my hair.
Cherry laughed as she rolled out of the bed. I sat there looking at her vacated spot as she moved around getting dressed. I got up and walked her to the door without a word, my head still spinning from what had just happened. I opened the door and she walked through.
I felt like I needed to say something. I snagged her wrist and she turned back to face me. Amusement danced in her eyes as she looked at me. She was so close I could almost kiss her, but I didn’t want to even want her body pressed into mine.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“Don’t be.” She smiled, friendly and warm. “If the great Diesel can find someone, then maybe there is still hope for the rest of us.” She leaned in and placed a light kiss on my cheek. “You know where I’ll be if it doesn’t work out.” She winked at me and I felt myself smile a bit.
“Take care of yourself, Cherry,” I said watching her walk off.
“Goodbye, D.” She threw a casual wave over her shoulder without turning back to look at me.
I stepped back in the room, closing the door hoping to shut out the outside world. This couldn’t be. This was not going to work for me at all. Ellie was long gone, I was sure of it. I wondered if she thought of me. I wondered if I had somehow made an impact on her that night. I needed to figure out a way to get her out of my head. Her life was going forward and I needed mine to do the same. I just had to figure out why I couldn’t let her go. What was so different about being with her that made my dick hate everything else?
You and me, buddy. We have to get on the same page here. I need you to forget about the girl and get the fuck over it.
It was official. I was having a conversation with my dick, I was fucking crazy. I sighed and flopped down on the bed, suddenly feeling exhausted. My eyes closed and I did my best to push the images of Ellie away. Thinking about her laid out in the same spot I was in, had me hard in seconds. I ground my teeth together, my jaw clenching with fury. No, I was not going to give in. I wasn’t going to let it get to me anymore. I fell asleep still gripping the sheets tightly; as if the hold I had on them would somehow help ground me.