CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Ellie
I rested. For a week I sat in that bed and rested. I was so tired of staring at the same four walls. I found myself watching the door and hoping the person that was walking through was Diesel. But it had been radio silence. Not even a peep from or about him.
Reagan kept me company, dragging in her laptop and making me pick out things for the baby. Jessica often joined, too. It was nice to have the distraction, but at the end of the day, I was left alone and cold. Cold on the inside, in my heart, in my soul.
Tank and Grass stopped by at noon each day. Grass brought me a sandwich he had made, with Tank’s help of course, and we all ate on my bed. Okay, well there wasn’t enough room for all of us, so Tank took to filling up the small chair in the corner while he ate. I always giggled on the inside as I watched him trying to shift so his massive frame would fit in it. He was a good man and a great father. It was clear that he would do anything for his little boy and it showed in everything he did.
I slept. I played games on my phone for hours on end. I read. Over and over again. By the time Doctor Wallace came back to check on me, I was feeling better and ready to jump out of that stupid bed. He cleared me, saying I should take it easy. I was so happy I threw my arms around the tiny, old man in an excited hug. He just chuckled and patted my back.
After that, things quickly got back to normal. That included the nasty and demanding orders from Tammy. She said I was on dinner duty all week. She told me that I needed to learn my place and what was expected of me. I didn’t say anything. I was actually glad to do it. But that didn’t mean that I was happy about the way she treated me.
I fed the guys. I cleaned up after them. I was just happy to be out of my room and have something to keep me busy. The smiles on their faces and the warm hugs of thanks were what kept me going. It helped to keep me sane and whole. It was what kept me from breaking down and feeling alone.
I may not have had my parents. I may not have even had Diesel. But I had a family. I had people who needed me and in return cared about me.
One night I woke up sometime way too early, like always. I heard a frustrated growl coming from the other side of the wall followed by a banging of some sort. Someone was in the kitchen and very irritated about something. Curiosity got the better of me and I shuffled out to see what all the commotion was.
“What are you doing?” I asked after I rounded the corner into the kitchen to find Bocca standing at the stove. He was holding a package of grits in one hand and had a confused look on his face. I stifled a giggle as I walked closer to him. He looked up at me a little startled like he didn’t want anyone to catch him in his attempt to cook. He let out a heavy, defeated sigh as his shoulders sagged.
“Tryin’ to make some damn food.” He looked like a sad little boy for a moment.
“Grits?” I looked around at the other food he had pulled out and placed on the counter. “Eggs and bacon?”
“Yeah, I guess I just need some real comfort food,” he said looking at the same things I was. “I’m sorry if I woke you.”
“No,” I said waving him off. “I’m usually up around this time.”
He gave me a look of confusion like he didn’t understand why I would just randomly get up in the middle of the night. I shrugged it off like it was nothing abnormal.
“Swear my bladder is the size of a pea now,” I said trying to be funny.
“Oh, yeah…” he said looking a little squeamish. Like he didn’t really know what to say or want to talk about it. I laughed and scooted up beside him. I took the grits out of his hands and nodded for him to step aside. “You don’t have to—”
“Shhh. I’m hungry and I want some grits,” I said in a light tone. “You’re welcome to any extra I make.” I gave him a wide smile and a playful wink. Bocca shook his head and chuckled.
“Thank you, momma bear.” He slung his arm around my shoulder and kissed my forehead. It felt like a brotherly act and warmed me inside. At times I couldn’t believe that this was the same guy I’d seen on my first night here. The one who was all cocky smiles with a girl grinding on his lap.
The more I got to know these guys, the more I liked them. I saw through the scary, tough exterior of the club. Underneath it all, they were simply a family of broken people just wanting to be there for each other. A group of people that took me in, despite not knowing a darn thing about me, and made sure I was taken care of. This was what a family should be like. And for the first time, I truly felt like I was part of one.
“He’s been through a lot,” Bocca said once we were sitting at the table with full plates in front of us.
I paused and looked up at him. So far, the subject of Diesel had been pretty much nonexistent. It felt like most of the time everyone avoided that whole part of my situation and I was never one to push for things.
“It’s not my place to say, but just give him time. He’ll come around,” he said. But the words didn’t reveal much, the answers behind them too cryptic for me to comprehend.
“Okay,” I whispered trying to understand the lack of information that had just been given to me. “But you do understand, I’m on a clock here.” I gestured to my ever-growing belly. Bocca let out a small laugh.
“You’re not alone, momma bear. You’re one of us and we take care of our own.” He shoved a mouthful of eggs into his mouth and I knew that was the end of that conversation. I nodded and dug into my own food.
“I thought I smelled something good,” Brand said, walking into the kitchen with a crazy case of bed head. His hair was always at the length where it looked like he was due for a haircut. Though, he usually covered it with a ball hat.
“There’s plenty,” I said, waving him in.
He shot me a coy smile then shuffled off to make his own plate. We all chatted a bit after he sat down.
Brand looked to be around Reagan’s age, but he held a boyish quality to him. He’d always been respectful, if not a little reserved around me. I was glad I got a chance to get to know him better.
Not long after that, Seven stalked into the kitchen, heading straight for the coffee pot. After making himself a cup he took a seat next to Bocca. By this time, we were all done eating but we sat there as the conversation lingered.
I was in no rush to go back to bed. My sleep cycles had gotten erratic, so I wasn’t surprised to find that I was wide awake.
Seven didn’t say much. Thinking back on it, I’d never heard him speak. He reminded me a lot of Diesel. He always seemed to be in the background watching. But there was something about his gaze that always made me feel naked. Like he was analyzing me. He was taking in my every move and trying to figure out what made me tick. Or something. That was just the weird feeling I got whenever he was in the room. But the thing was, I didn’t mind. I knew he wasn’t doing it to be mean. I got the sense that it was just part of who he was. I found myself wanting to know more about the man behind the stoic face.
“So,” Bocca said, catching my attention. I hadn’t realized that I had been staring at Seven so long. “Why don’t you ask this crazy fuck how he got his name.” He chuckled.
I had a feeling like I didn’t want to know. Most of the guys, I could see how they got their names. Tank, well, that was obvious. The man was as solid as a tank. Bocca had already explained his to me and I could see how fitting that was. But then again, I almost felt like he was smarter than that. Like he let things slip that weren’t really important as a way to throw off all the things he did know about. But then again, what did I know? Reagan had filled me in on Brand. I think inside she loved the fact that she was the one to come up with his name.
I looked over at Seven, afraid to open my mouth to ask the question. He stared at me for a long second before nodding. I was clueless as to what was going on in his head.
“I only have seven toes.” With that, he drained the last of his coffee and got up. I watched as he walked over to the sink and set his cup down. He didn’t walk funny. Maybe he was born that way and had adapted to walking with only that many toes.
“Really,” Bocca called out. “That’s what you’re goin’ with?” He chuckled and shook his head.
“Didn’t want to scare the girl,” Seven said as he walked out of the room.
My eyes went wide as I looked back and forth between Bocca and Brand. There was a joke there but I was missing it.