CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Ellie
This is a bad idea. A very, very bad idea.
I was sweating and my hands were shaking as I gripped the steering wheel. I was on my way to the clubhouse of the Steel Paragons Motorcycle Club. It was a horrible idea, but I was left with no other options and it had to be done.
The truth was, I had no idea how it would turn out. All I knew was that I didn’t have anywhere else to go and Diesel did have the right to know about his baby. What he would do with that… well, let me just say that I had a feeling it wasn’t going to be good. He didn’t seem like the type of guy that wanted to be tied down. He didn’t seem the type to be with one girl. And he sure as heck didn’t seem like the type to want a family.
Not that I expected anything to come of us because of this, but a girl could hope. My dream had always been to raise a child in a loving home, with both parents present. It was what I had, well the both parents part anyway, and I just couldn’t see any other way working out for the best. However, I knew dreams didn’t always come true.
I blew out a harsh breath as I turned off of the highway. The car slowed down to nearly nothing per an hour because I couldn’t seem to push down the on the gas pedal. I fidgeted with the top of my cream off the shoulder sweater with one hand. It was almost one in the morning and I was kicking myself at my not so well thought out plan.
“Yeah, El, barging into a place where a bunch of bikers hang out in the wee hours of the morning. Just brilliant.” I said sarcastically to my empty car. “No turning back now.”
I saw a huge chain link fence up ahead.
This must be where the private investigator told me to go.
The fence had to be at least fifteen feet high. I saw a dirt patch amongst all the ankle high grass. I nibbled the inside of my cheek as I turned the car onto the path. The car came to a rolling stop, the headlights shining brightly ahead of me through the tall, closed rolling gate. My eyes roamed all over trying to see anything through the black blanket of the night. I tapped my finger against the steering wheel wondering what I should do.
But before I could figure it out, someone stepped in front of my high beams, aiming a gun at me through the windshield.
Yes, very, very bad idea!
A high-pitched screamed ripped up through my body from my toes. My hands flew up as my head ducked down behind the steering wheel. Oh crap! This is sooo bad! I had no idea what I should do, so I stayed there trying to hide my most vital body parts.
“Out of the fucking car. Now!” A gruff voice called out into the quiet night.
My whole body trembled as I pulled the handle to open the door. I stumbled out, trying my best to stand. If I thought I was shaking before, it was nothing like the earthquake vibrating my body now. I kept my head down and my hands up. My legs gave out within seconds of me trying to stand, and I crumpled into a heap on the rocky ground. Tiny pebbles bit into my thin legging-clad knees and my hands went instinctively went down to protect my belly.
The sound of boots crunching on the gravel drew near, but I didn’t dare look up.
“P-please, please. I’m sorry.” There was no hiding the fear in my voice. “Diesel,” I croaked out.
“Oh, fuck,” The same gruff voice said as a hand wrapped lightly around my upper arm and gently hauled me up. “Miss, I’m sorry.” His voice was softer than before, but still, I found myself trying to gasp for air. The fear was still gripping me tightly. I couldn’t breathe. I kept trying to take in a deep breath, but my chest was tight and my throat felt too small.
“Get Loch!” He called out over his shoulder. Whether or not someone else was out there, I had no idea and I didn’t dare lift my head to look. “Are you okay?”
All I could do was give a slight nod. But, no, I was far from okay. I had just had a gun pointed at me, for goodness sake! Who would be okay after that?
“Here,” he said, guiding me to the hood of my car, his gun suddenly gone. Probably just tucked away into the back of his pants, I imagined. I leaned against the side of my car, but his hands still held onto my arms. “Breathe. I won’t hurt you.” And something in his voice told me he was telling the truth. I was finally able to suck in a deep, but shaky, breath. However, my heart still wasn’t ready to slow down. The comprehension of what had just transpired hit me and I felt hot tears stream down my face.
I realized my hands were still clutched tight around my belly, making it more noticeable. I had chosen that oversized sweater to hide my bump a bit, but now I guessed it was all for nothing. The man towered over my small frame and I had yet to look up at him.
“The fuck is goin’ on out here?!” Someone barked from the other side of the cracked gate.
“Do you have a name?” The man holding me asked in a non-threating tone. I nodded frantically because my voice still wasn’t working. He huffed out a small chuckle and for some crazy reason, it made me relax just a tiny bit. “You gonna tell me, sweet cheeks? Or should I just make one up?”
“El-Ellie,” I said timidly as I raised my head to finally look at the man in front of me.
Meeting his eyes, I got lost in the deep blue color. Something in their depths told me that he wasn’t going to hurt me.
“I-I’m just here to talk to Diesel.” I was amazed I actually got a whole sentence out.
He nodded slowly, his eyes flicking down to my belly and his brow cocked up with amusement.
“Lake?” I jumped, forgetting that there was someone else nearby.
Turning my attention to the voice, I got my first look at the other man. His face was weathered. His short hair was peppered with white and he had a scar across his eyebrow. My eyes flicked to the man standing slightly behind him. Oh, my. My breath caught in my chest.
He was tall. He had to be at least six foot seven. His light brown hair was longer in the front, just past his ears, and had a slight curl to it. It looked like he spent most of the day running his hands through it to keep it out of his face. His steel eyes lit by the headlights shined with an almost gunmetal glint in them. I swallowed hard as I took in his thick frame. His feet planted wide to accommodate for the tree trunks he had for legs. My jaw hung open and my eyes went wide.
“Get Diesel,” The guy that the older one had called Lake said, his eyes still glued to my bump of a belly.
With a grunt, the big one turned and stalked off in the direction they’d come from. The silence ticked awkwardly on and I was frozen in place.
“What the hell’s going on, Loch?”
His voice was exactly like I remembered it. My stomach fluttered and my nerves felt fried. Despite being horrified at the situation I found myself in, I melted a little.
Diesel stepped up and I watched as the hard lines on his face fell away when he saw it was me. The softness that I’d seen once was there. I managed a timid smile, unsure of what I should do.
“Pixie?” His tone dropped to the sweet one I remembered him using in the motel room. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the other two share a confused and almost horrified glance. “What are you doing here?” He stepped up to me, practically pushing Lake out of the way.
“I-I didn’t know where else to go…” My voice broke and fresh tears ran down my face. I looked up into his beautiful eyes, ones that I had once found comforting, hoping he would see how desperate I was. He reached out for me, but his hand froze in midair as he took the rest of me in. Yeah, that was not the way I wanted to break the news to him. What a night it had been.
“Fuck,” he blew out as he took a step back and ran his hand through his hair frantically.
Neither of us seemed to know what to do at that point. Somehow, I didn’t think yelling ‘surprise’ would be a good idea.
“Maybe we should get her inside.” Diesel didn’t move at the sound of the older man’s voice.
“Yeah, she needs to sit down. Get her some water too.” Lake said, sending me a small apologetic smile.
Diesel clenched his jaw a few times, then turned on his heal and walked away without another word.
“Come on, honey.” The older one motioned for me to come. My feet were heavy as I took a few steps. “I’m Loch. Lake here will pull your car in for you. Let’s get you somethin’ to eat.”
I followed behind him blindly. That did not go well. The lost look in Diesel’s eyes replayed over and over again in my head. I couldn’t believe he just walked away from me. Anger, I had expected that. Denial, yeah I was ready for that one, too. But just nothing, I was at a loss what to do with that.
The door closed behind me and I flinched at the loud noise. I lifted my head to look around. I hadn’t really given much thought to what the inside of a motorcycle club would look like. But I wasn’t surprised to be standing in the middle of a giant man cave. A bar sat on the right side of the room. A bunch of TVs were mounted along the far left wall, surrounded by many worn and mismatched couches. A few guys were scattered about, a couple of them were playing pool on one of the tables. All eyes seemed to turn to me at the same time. I blushed and ducked my head, trying my best to create a protective curtain with my hair.
I hurried my steps to catch up with Loch as he walked through the room. I chanced another glance and saw a tall blonde straddling a guy on one of the couches. My blush deepened as his eyes caught mine. The girl continued to rock her hips back and forth as she ran her fingers through his long, blonde hair. I quickly turned my head and breathed a sigh of relief when I saw we were heading out of the room and away from things I was not prepared to witness.
I followed Loch to a huge open area that was part kitchen and part dining area. The tables were cheap and it reminded me of a cafeteria.
“Have a seat,” Loch said and pointed to the closest table. I nodded and slid into the seat as fast as I could. “Water? We have some leftovers if you’re hungry.”
“Water is good. Thank you.”
I eyed him as he opened the large refrigerator. I could see his muscles bulge through his tight, white tee as he moved to grab something. He came back and set a bottle of water in front of me then opened a beer for himself. He swallowed down half the bottle in one quick gulp. The look in his eyes was soft but untrusting. I couldn’t blame him. He probably didn’t know anything about me or why I was there. Feeling intimidated under his gaze, my eyes looked at everything except him.
He wasn’t wearing a leather vest like I had seen Diesel and the other guys wearing. I wondered if I had interrupted him in some way. I refused to let my mind think about what he could have been doing before. Or about what I had witnessed going on a few moments ago on the couch.
“Yeah, fuck. I don’t know what to do with this situation.” I flinched a tiny bit. He sounded genuinely uncomfortable and uneasy. “Bocca, get Rea. No, wait. You come here and I’ll get her.” He stood up, the chair scraping against the cheap floor.
“What, afraid I’ll get a peek at Reagan’s naughty bits?” The blonde guy from the couch said as he walked over. He flashed me a wide smile and winked.
“Sit your ass down,” Loch barked before he finished his beer. “Hands to yourself. Don’t scare the girl while I’m gone.” He walked off in the direction that we had come from as the blonde took Loch’s vacant seat.
I fidgeted nervously with my hands. I wished I had my purse or even my cell phone, but everything was still in my car.
Don’t think about the fact that he just had a half-naked woman rubbing all over him.
I kept repeating that over and over, but it was having the opposite effect. I could feel him staring a hole through me and I wondered if he could read my thoughts. My cheeks heated and I chewed on the inside of my lip trying to distract myself.
I had a feeling this was only the beginning of a long, awkward night.