CHAPTER FIVE
Ellie
I stood there staring at the blank space where his hand had been holding mine. When he touched me it sent something through me. Something I had no idea how to describe and I had never felt anything like it before. My head was swimming and I couldn’t even blame it on alcohol. Maybe I should have had a drink or two.
The moment I saw this guy, whose name I still didn’t know, I went completely insane on the inside. Perhaps it was simply the fact that I had never really seen someone like him. Leather vest. Tight black shirt. Black jeans that seemed to hang on him in all the right ways. He was built, too. Not like overly crazy body builder. No, he was just the right amount of sculpted. And his eyes. The light blue was almost like ice and it pulled me in the second I saw them across the bar. His black hair was short on the sides and the front hung down over his left eye. Ink swirled all over the visible parts of him from the neck down. And I itched to pull his shirt off to see just where all the lines connected. He had a hoop in the side of his lip. I normally would have been put off by all his colors and the ring, but for some reason on him it drew me in more.
Say something, Ellie. You are standing there like a weirdo. He’s going to think something is wrong with you.
I couldn’t even form words to speak. Why did he pull me out of the bar? There were plenty of much more attractive women in there. Even with the haircut and makeup Steven’s friends all but forced me to get, I still felt plain and boring. There was no way this guy saw anything other than that. Maybe he just took pity on me. That made more sense.
“Come on, you gotta give me somethin’ here,” he said with a slight tone of amusement. I looked up to see him giving me a smirk and a knowing look that I was checking him out. All I could do was shrug and I felt so dumb. “I heard your beautiful voice in there for a second. Now that we are alone you’re goin’ to deny me hearin’ it anymore?”
That made me laugh. I watched as his smile spread fully across his face, flashing amazingly straight and white teeth at me. In that moment, I felt like he was the big bad wolf and I was little red riding hood. I wondered if he was going to swallow me up whole.
“I’m sorry.” I finally managed to get my brain and mouth connected. “Um, thanks for getting me out of there, but I don’t want to be a bother.”
“No bother. Do you want me to take you home?” His eyes bore into me as he waited for me to answer. I couldn’t read his expression. Did he want to take me home? Was he trying to get rid of me now that he really saw me? All I knew was that I didn’t really want to go home and I didn’t want to go hang out with the group that brought me here.
“No,” I whispered. “But if you want to go I can call a cab or something.”
I went to pull my purse off my arm so I could dig out my phone. But before I could, he grabbed my hand again and was dragging me across the parking lot and away from the bar. I say dragging because he was so tall that for every step he took, I had to take three. I swear I heard him chuckle as I stumbled along behind him.
Wait, where is he taking me?
I looked around trying to figure out if he was heading to one of the cars in the lot. Oh no, he kept going passed all of the cars and towards a very seedy, rundown looking motel. What had I gotten myself into? I should have felt scared. I should have had the urge to run. But something in me felt calm and safe. He pulled me around the back and up the two stairs before he unlocked the door. Once we were inside he pulled me to the middle of the small room and looked down at me.
“Hungry?” he asked.
“Yeah, actually,” I said as I looked around wondering if he had food hidden somewhere. “They took me to some fancy sushi place and I am not a huge fan of fish. I like it even less if it’s uncooked.” To that, he laughed and I wanted to hear that sound again more than anything in the world.
“I’ll go grab something from the diner next door. What do you like?”
“A burger is fine. Cheese and extra ketchup, if it’s not too much trouble.” I felt like everything I said made me look stupid.
“Okay, got it. I’ll be back. You can stay, or go. It’s your choice,” he said as he looked me in the eyes. I blushed and I wasn’t sure why. He was giving me an out. But I didn’t want to go. He turned around and walked out of the door, closing it behind him.
I flopped down on the bed and let out a heavy breath. Should I stay? Should I go? The smart thing would’ve been to flee as fast as I could, but I felt rooted in place.
Before I knew it the door was opening again and he was walking through with two Styrofoam containers. The scent of grease and meat filled the air and my mouth started to water.
Looks like I’m staying.
He handed me mine, then he leaned against the dresser with his food balanced in one hand. We started to eat. I peeked up at him every now and then and found him watching me. I tried to think of things to say to fill the silence, but I had no idea what to talk about. We were clearly from two different worlds. I felt a little guilty judging him so quickly, but it was the truth. Not that I was looking down on him. I just saw it as different, not bad.
“So, you got a name?” he asked, raising a brow.
“Ellie,” I giggled and covered my mouth with my hand. I wasn’t sure if I had food in my teeth but I didn’t want to take the chance. “You?”
“Everyone calls me Diesel.” That was what people called him, but what was his real name? I shrugged off the thought, knowing there was no way I would have the courage to ask. “You from around here?”
“Yes,” I said nodding. “Born and raised here in Charlotte. You?”
“I live about an hour south of here. Been there about five years now.” He looked away briefly and I could tell there was something he was trying hard not to think about. We didn’t know each other well enough, or at all really, for me to ask him what it was. “So, what was all that back there?” He jerked his thumb over his shoulder in the direction of the bar. I put my half-eaten burger down and let out a long breath through my nose.
“It was my bachelorette party,” I said, leaving it at that. This guy didn’t want my drama. He didn’t need to know my stupid problems.
“Yeah, got that much.” He nodded his head at me and I looked down. I let out a laugh realizing I was still wearing all the stuff from the party. Luckily, I had lost the horrible feather boa back at the bar. “I mean, what was up with all those girls. The ones who were clearly not your friends.” There was a harshness in his tone that I didn’t understand, but I could tell it wasn’t aimed at me.
“I guess my fiancé felt sorry that I didn’t have anyone to throw me a party,” I said looking down. I knew the real reason but I didn’t want to say it out loud and seem pathetic.
“You wanna tell me why three of them came up to me trying to get me to take you away. Why they said your fiancé asked them to help you get laid?” His eyes narrowed with anger.
Well then, there was no need to try and hide anything now. I sighed and picked absently at the cheap, thin bedspread. I could feel the urge to cry bubbling up.
“It’s kinda stupid and pathetic,” I mumbled, not looking up at him.
“Whatever it is you can tell me. I won’t judge,” he said calmly and something about his tone set me at ease. “And look at it this way, you will more than likely never see me again, so it won’t matter anyway.”
He had a point. And that was how I found myself spilling my guts to a sexy stranger.
“Well, I’m getting married in a month. And my fiancé, Steven, had this idea that I should go out and… well… you know…” I looked up at him hoping he was getting what I was saying. By the confused look on his face, it was obvious he wasn’t. Or it could have been that he wanted me to say it. “I’m a virgin, okay… He wanted me to go out and find someone to… well, fix that problem I guess. He had those girls set all this up and try to find me someone to…”
“So, let me get this straight,” he said, abandoning his food on the dresser behind him with a loud thump and crossing his arms over his chest. I swallowed hard, then chewed on the inside of my cheek feeling silly. “Your fiancé had this idea for you to go out on your bachelorette party to lose your virginity to a stranger?” I nodded. Something in his tone made me feel like he couldn’t comprehend the idea of it all.
“I mean, I see what he was saying,” I rushed to try and explain it. “He said that when we do have sex then it won’t be all awkward and weird. I won’t have to worry about the whole first time thing, as he put it. It makes sense.” Diesel shook his head as if he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. My head cocked in confusion as I stared at him trying to figure out why he seemed to be getting more irritated the more I tried to explain it.
“That’s fuckin’ messed up.” he barked and I flinched at the f-word. I wasn’t used to hearing it. My mother never said it. And my father only said it when he was in one of his angry rants when something wasn’t going the way he thought it should. I wasn’t sure if Diesel noticed or not.
“No, I see—” I started to say, but he cut me off.
“No! This guy clearly doesn’t want to deal with it. So what? He sent you off with a pack of hyenas to throw you to the wolves to break you in for him.” He was clearly riled up by this and I wished I hadn’t said anything at all. Then things in my brain started turning and I wondered if Diesel wasn’t maybe a little bit right. “I know I don’t know you, and I certainly don’t know him, but that’s bullshit. You have to see that.”
“It’s not like I was saving myself for him or anyone. I just…” I blushed at how embarrassing it was going to be to admit it out loud. “Well, I haven’t really had anyone ever take interest in me. I haven’t really had any opportunity to lose it.”
He stood there studying me for a long while. I felt hot under his gaze. Then something changed in his eyes and his face seemed to soften. It was like he was bringing out another part of himself. I imagined one he kept locked down tight under that hard exterior. Or maybe I was just seeing what I hoped to see.
“What do you want?” he asked and I could tell he was genuinely concerned only about my thoughts and feelings. It was nice and refreshing. To be honest, I couldn’t remember the last time someone treated me like that.
“I…” I started to say and my brows furrowed as I struggled to give him an answer. Me. That was something I didn’t think about often. I looked down and wondered what it was that I did want.
Before I could answer, there was a knock at the door, causing me to jump a little. Diesel’s jaw ticked and I found it odd that he didn’t move to open the door right away. His eyes closed as he took in a few heavy breaths through his nose. When he opened his eyes again, the hard look was back, set in deep almost like nothing had happened.
He pushed off the dresser and sauntered over to the door, then pulled it open just enough to see who was on the other side. I got the feeling that he knew who it was before he even opened it, though. Over his shoulder I saw a tall, redheaded, attractive woman. Curiosity got the better of me and I shifted a little so I could see the rest of her. She looked like she had just gotten done working at a strip club. But she wasn’t exactly trashy, like I had envisioned strippers to be. I did my best to not listen to their conversation, but the room was small and I couldn’t help but overhear.
“Hey,” she purred as she stepped closer to him.
I wondered if she was going to kiss him and I turned my gaze away not wanting to invade on their private moment. I looked at anything but what was going on at the door. I had an odd, heavy feeling in the pit of my stomach, but I had no idea what it meant. Maybe it was envy. Then images of him kissing me flashed in my mind, making me feel warm all over.
“Hey,” he said coldly. “I’m sorry, but I can’t now.” Was he turning her away for me? I chanced a look and saw her glance over his shoulder at me. Our eyes met and she raised one of her perfectly sculpted eyebrows.
“Well, considering you still have your clothes on it must be important,” she said lightly. “I’ll see you next time then, Diesel.” She planted a soft kiss on his cheek. I felt a jolt of jealousy surge through me, even though I had no right to feel that way. She walked off and he closed the door.
He moved to sit on the bed beside me but I still couldn’t look at him. His scent filled my nose and my cheeks heated. It was a mix of leather, oil, and something masculine. He cupped my chin and tilted my face up so I had no choice but to stare into those icy blue eyes. Considering they looked so cold, it was strange that I felt such a fire coming from them.
“What do you want, Ellie?” he asked as if we hadn’t been interrupted. I felt like his sole focus was on me and I couldn’t even think about the redhead anymore.
“I want to not feel like I’m missing something anymore,” I admitted in a whisper. I was tired of feeling like still being a virgin made me some kind of freak.
I watched as his tongue darted out and moved his lip ring back and forth. I found it oddly arousing and my body suddenly felt too hot.
“I’m goin’ to kiss you now, pixie. Tell me if you don’t want that.” He was so tender in the way he was talking to me that it threw me off for a moment. It wasn’t something I expected from the look of his exterior. My tongue instinctively moved to lick my lips as he slowly lowered his face towards mine.
Yes! Yes! Oh please. I want you to kiss me so bad.
His thumbs caressed the sides of my face as his full lips softly met mine. He didn’t push or rush. The kiss was so sweet that it made me wonder what more he had to show me. His tongue ran along the seam of my lips, and without thinking, I opened up for him. Seconds later the sweetness turned into a heated frenzy. I grabbed his shirt and pulled him in closer to me. I wanted more. My body screamed for more. And he gave it without hesitation.
He sucked on my bottom lip as his fingers moved to tangle in my hair. I tilted my head to the side and curiosity got to me. I licked his lip ring, the ball feeling strange as my tongue slid over it. I lightly sucked it into my mouth along with his bottom lip. He groaned and pulled me in tighter. There was nothing sloppy or awkward about this kiss. Everything about it felt right and that was the moment all of my apprehension slipped away.
He broke away and leaned his forehead against mine. We were both panting and I wondered if it was as good for him as it was for me. I had the sudden need to not disappoint him. This was going to happen and I had no doubts about it at all.
“Do you want more?” he asked, his voice was raw and low. I nodded frantically, afraid that if I tried to speak it would come out as an incomprehensible squeak.
“Fuck!” he growled and then his lips were on mine again. I felt the desire oozing from both of us and my eyes closed as I gave in.