CHAPTER TWENTY
Ellie
I woke up a few hours later needing to pee. My bladder felt like it was shrinking a little bit more every day. My feet hit the floor right as I realized that I wasn’t at home. I wasn’t in my bed, or in my room. I wasn’t even in that horrible motel room. That was when it hit me, I had no idea where the bathroom was. I sighed, wondering what time it was. I imagined that most everyone else was asleep by now. I stood there, clenching my knees together and doing a little pee-pee dance as I tried to figure out what to do. Not able to hold it any longer, I slowly opened the door and tiptoed out of the room. The TV was on in the next room, the volume so low I couldn’t even hear it. Movement to my left caught my attention and I jumped as I turned to look. The girl from earlier who told Diesel to take me to my room was wrapped up tight in a blanket on the couch. She was beautiful, even with her smudged makeup and messy bun.
“Bathroom?” I whispered and she nodded then pointed to a cracked door on the far side of the room. “Thanks, um…”
“Jessica,” she said understanding what I was getting at. “Feel free to use anything in there, and if you need anything else let one of us know. We’ll make sure the boys get it.”
I smiled timidly and nodded as I shuffled into the bathroom. It was a big open room. Two stalled toilets sat on the right side and two shower stalls were on the left wall. In between was a large counter with three sinks. Enough beauty products and body sprays to make a department store jealous lined the countertop. It definitely screamed girl’s bathroom.
I slid into one of the stalls and did my business. I sat there longer than necessary, lost in thought. Five months ago I would have called myself crazy if I said I would end up pregnant by a biker and staying at his clubhouse. Sometimes, it still felt like a dream. I often wished I would wake up and go back to my oblivious and comfortable life, but I knew better.
I washed my hands and splashed some cold water on my face. I took a deep breath before shuffling back to the security of my little room. My stomach growled and I desperately wished I had something to eat. There was no way I was going to venture out to the kitchen. I wasn’t that brave at all. Quite the opposite actually. I would have to wait it out and hope that they wouldn’t forget about me.
It felt like I’d just fallen back asleep when a tentative knock came on my door. I cleared my dry throat before attempting to tell whoever it was to come in. I had hoped it was Diesel, but by the soft tap, I highly doubted it would be. He seemed more like a bang or tear-it-down kind of guy. Reagan popped her head in and flashed me a soft, warm smile as I sat up against the headboard.
“Did I wake you?” she asked in a whisper.
I shook my head and waved her in. It wasn’t until after she closed the door that I saw and smelled the wonderful plate of food she had in her hand. I practically dove into the food like a crazy, feral animal. She chuckled as I realized I had too much in my mouth to actually chew. Luckily, she also had a huge glass of orange juice. I guzzled it down and let out a refreshed sound once I had my mouth cleared of food.
“I figured you might be hungry,” she said and took a seat on the corner of the bed, crooking her knee so she could face me.
“Yes. Thank you so much,” I said before shoveling another forkful of eggs into my mouth.
“Cal, the club’s president, is going to want to sit down with you. He should be back later today.” My eyes went wide and a sudden wave of panic bubbled up inside of me. The big boss wanted to talk to me, it felt like I was being sent to the principal’s office. “No need to worry. He has been filled in a little. Well, as much as Loch knows anyway, which isn’t much. He just wants to know what’s going on in his club and probably figure out where to go from here.”
I nodded, taking it all in. Being in a strange place was scary enough. Now I was going to have to sit down and spill my guts to some guy I didn’t know. And for what? In hopes that he would help me? That he would make this crazy situation better? Or maybe he had some kind of answer I didn’t have. Which would be great, because I felt like I was out of options. I was lost and scared and had no idea where to go if I was sent away. I had no one left.
“But first, the guys called in a doctor for you. He should be here soon. Just to check and make sure everything looks good,” she said patting my leg. It was actually really comforting and I breathed a small sigh of relief.
She hadn’t mentioned anything about Diesel and I was too afraid to bring it up. Afraid that he’d taken off and I was never going to get to see him again. Or worse, he was still there but wasn’t going to have anything to do with me. With us. Everything sat heavy on my shoulders and I was suddenly not so hungry anymore. I slid my plate to the side and tried to keep the tears from falling. Reagan opened her mouth to say something, but then another knock came on the door.
“Doc’s here,” Loch said popping his head in. He sent me a small, brief smile. “He wants her in Patch’s workroom.” I had no idea what that meant, but had a feeling I was about to find out.
I followed both of them out, through the kitchen, bypassed the bar room, and down a long hall. It wasn’t well lit so I couldn’t see how far back it went. There were doors all along the walls on both sides. Most of them were closed and a few had light creeping out from the bottoms. We passed three doors on the left, then Loch opened the forth and stepped aside. I walked into a small medical looking room. It looked like a room straight out of a hospital. It even had that weird sterile smell. An examination table sat in the middle. The walls were lined with shelves that held all sorts of medical equipment and bottles. I didn’t ask questions. Truth was, I didn’t want to know why they had or needed a place like that.
“Okay, have a seat on the table,” Reagan said as she started to back out of the room. I didn’t want to be alone.
“Can you, um, stay, please,” I managed to squeak out. She smiled and stepped back into the room, closing the door to only a crack.
Moments later a small, older man with white hair walked in carrying a giant bag. He seemed nice enough as he introduced himself as Doctor Wallace. I told him how far along I was and how I had been dealing with the pregnancy.
“I brought my portable ultrasound machine,” he said, pulling it out of his bag and setting it up on the rolling table beside the bed. “Won’t be as good as the one I’ve got back at the office, but at least we can check and make sure everything is good with the baby.”
I was actually excited. I had only had one ultrasound and that was the day I’d gotten the shock of a lifetime. Reagan slipped her hand in mine and I hadn’t even realized I was reaching out. A little cold gel, then I saw the odd shape start to appear on the tiny screen. The image was grainy, but I could clearly make out a head and a body.
Uncontrollable tears spilled from my eyes. There was something that looked like an arm that twitched for a second. I imagined the baby was waving at me and I almost lifted my hand to wave back. Instead, I placed my hand on the top part of my bump and rubbed. The doctor pushed a button then the room was suddenly filled with a muffled whooshing sound. I instantly knew it was the heartbeat. My baby’s heartbeat.
“Everything looks wonderful,” he said still moving the wand around my belly, showing different angles of my baby. “Well lookie there. Would you like to know what you are having? I just got a clear shot. Never happens on this thing.” He let out a warm and hearty laugh.
Do I want to know? Is it wrong to find out without Diesel here with me? This is his baby, too.
I looked over at the door like I had some hope that Diesel was going to walk through it. That everything would be alright in that moment. But it didn’t happen. And I knew it wouldn’t. Reagan gave my hand a light squeeze and I knew she could read my thoughts. I sighed as I looked back at the doctor and shook my head. As much as I wanted to know, I still didn’t feel right finding out on my own. If I would have to wait until the little bundle came out to greet the world, then I would.
“Keep taking your prenatal vitamins. Eat. Drink lots of water.” He turned off the machine and started to pack everything back up. “If you need anything or have any questions, please don’t hesitate to call me.” He handed me his business card with his office and cell number on it. I thanked him before he slipped out the door.
Later that day, Loch had me follow him through the clubhouse again. This time we stopped at a door along the hall that ran from the kitchen to the bar area. I stepped in and looked around. It was a small office with a cheap desk and even cheaper looking chairs. An older guy sat behind the desk, his long, burly, gray beard hung down to meet his big belly. His face was set hard as he looked me over and I felt myself standing up as straight as possible. His patch said Caliber and under it was a president patch. This must be Cal as Reagan called him. I looked back over to Loch and his expression softened as he nodded for me to take a seat.
“Want me to get Diesel?” Loch asked.
“Not just yet,” Cal said not taking his eyes off me. “Stay for this.” Loch closed the door and took the seat beside me. It creaked under his weight as he lowered himself down.
“I’ve been hearin’ stories, girl. But no one seems to know what the fuck is goin’ on. Other than you show up at my compound in the middle of the night, pregnant and askin’ for Diesel.” I flinched at his harsh words and I got why he was the president.
I realized after a few moments of silence that it was my turn to speak. There wasn’t a question that followed because he wasn’t asking. No, he was demanding, in a way that he didn’t even have to say.
“Oh, um,” I started. “Okay, my name is—”
“I know your damn name, child. I know your address, or at least the one on your driver’s license. In fact,” he leaned over the desk, his eyes pinning me in place, “I know more about your life out there than you probably realize. What I don’t know, is how you and this connects to my club and Diesel.” He pointed at my belly. I wondered how he knew so much about me as he claimed, but I pushed that away for later. I felt like it wasn’t the time to ask questions.
“I met Diesel about four months ago at a bar called Fate’s.” How much should I tell? I mean I was sure he didn’t want to know every detail, even if I could say it out loud. I cleared my throat and continued. It was probably best to give the highlights, I was sure that was all he was looking for. “Anyway, he took me to the motel next door and well… I’m sure you can guess what happened. I have no doubts that this baby is his and it has taken me this long to find him.” That was mostly true. I left out the part about seeing him at the motel with another woman.
“I know my boy likes to fu— have lots of sex, but I also know he’s smart and uses condoms religiously. I also know that you are engaged to someone. So you wanna tell me how this all works out?” His gruff voice boomed in the room and I felt like I was making him angrier the more I spoke.
“It’s a pretty odd story, I guess,” I huffed out a nervous laugh and played with the hem of my shirt. He didn’t look amused. “Okay.” I took in a deep breath. “Yes I am, well was, engaged. My fiancé wanted me to fix my situation before we got married. So he came up with this idea and had some of his friends take me out for a bachelorette party. That is where I met Diesel… and how it all happened.”
“Situation? The fuck you talkin’ about?” His face was a mask of pure confusion.
“I was… I hadn’t, you know…” I felt so stupid. Why couldn’t I just say it? I cut my eyes over to Loch, hoping to get some help. But he looked as confused as Cal. “Ugh! I was a virgin!” I almost screamed. Loch let out an awkward cough as he shifted uncomfortably in his chair. Cal, I could tell, was trying to hold back a laugh.
“Steven, my fiancé,” I went on, “didn’t want to deal with being my first. It seemed like a normal thing when he said it, but now I see it was all wrong. I was brought up not to question or really think for myself. Another thing I see is all wrong. Long story short, Diesel was my first. Yes, he wore protection, and so, I was just as confused and shocked when I found out as I’m sure you are now. Steven and I didn’t have… sex for the first time until weeks after that night with Diesel. Other than the timelines for it being Steven’s not matching up, the fact that Steven wore protection too and didn’t actually even finish anywhere near down there, is all the proof that I need.”
The words were rushing out of me so fast and forced that I had to make myself stop. With every word that spewed out, I felt myself getting more heated and worked up. My heart was racing like a speeding bullet and I started to sweat in places I didn’t even know I could. The whole thing was beyond embarrassing for me. Not only to have to relive it, but to say it out loud. And to two people I didn’t know from Adam. Two very intimidating people, I might add. The seconds ticked by in a tense silence.
“So, the baby’s his then,” Cal finally said. It seemed like he believed me and I let out a small sigh of relief. He looked over at Loch and it seemed like they were having some sort of silent conversation. “Loch told me you don’t have anywhere to go.”
“Yes. I basically was told by my parents that if I didn’t marry Steven, then they were done with me.” I closed my eyes recalling the conversation between my dad and Steven I had overheard. The moment the reality of how wrong my world was had set in. “The marriage was all a setup, anyway. Some kind of political move. As I’m sure you’ve also found out, my father is the mayor. The moment I found out, I ran and started looking for Diesel. Now, here I am.” I swallowed hard trying to rid some of the dryness from my throat.
“The thing is, now that you are here, I can’t let you leave.” He looked at me hard. Was that a good thing or a bad. “There are things goin’ on right now and, let’s just say, if anyone saw you here and you left, you could get caught in the middle. I have no choice but to keep you here. For you and that baby’s safety.”
“I’m sorry,” I found myself saying as I looked down at my lap.
“Nothin’ to be sorry for. Shit happens. Don’t you worry, we take care of our own. That seems to now include you.” His voice was softer and I chanced a glance up. “Got to admit the fact that Diesel knocked someone up is goin’ to keep everyone laughin’ for weeks.” He chuckled and shook his head.
I wasn’t laughing. I got what he was saying. I understood that Diesel wasn’t the sort to want to have any attachments, but it was my life that was all messed up from it. At least I now had a place to stay.