“You could die,” Doctor Shilts states the three little words I was dreading to hear.

“Is it really that bad, doc?” I question.

She sighs and places her hands on the table interlocking her fingers and gives me that look that only doctors can give. “Ryan, your levels show you have a fatty liver. Your blood pressure is sky high, and you’re a borderline type 2 diabetic. If you don’t stop your excessive drinking and bad eating habits now before it gets any worse, your liver could shut down. You’ll be on insulin. As it is I’m going to have to monitor your blood pressure...” She looks me straight in the eyes. “Ryan, you need to change your lifestyle now. I know you’re a rock star, but you need to think about your health. You’re not invincible.”

Sitting back in my chair, I exhale and nod. “Okay, I hear you. So I eat better, lose some weight, cut down my drinking… anything else?”

She sits forward taking a deep breath. “Have you thought any more about seeing a professional counselor regarding your wife and daughter?”

My muscles clench as Maddie’s tiny toddler face comes straight into my thoughts. “I don’t need counseling,” I say through gritted teeth.

“Okay, Ryan. How about I see you in a week, and we go from there?”

“Sure…” I stand up and turn, walking out of the consulting room without a glance back at the doctor. Not only hearing that my health is up shit creek, but the mention of Maddie and Katie has me on edge and all I want to do is to drink myself into oblivion like I have so many times before. But considering Doctor Shilts just told me ‘I could die’ I better go home instead.

 

***

 

The smell of sweet cinnamon rolls wafting through the air is the first thing I smell as I walk through the front door. My stomach rumbles and I groan at the fact that I now know I shouldn’t be eating them. Walking into the kitchen, Danger’s better half, Lunar, pulls a tray from the oven. I smile as she turns and places the tray of rolls on the chopping board on the bench.

“Cinnamon rolls just for you, Ry. I know how much you love them.”

My body slumps, and I sigh. I can’t not have one, she made them especially for me. “Thanks, Lunar, I need cheering up.”

She pulls the oven mitts off her hands as she frowns. “What’s up, buttercup?”

I pick up a piping hot roll and take a large bite, it burns my tongue and she laughs while shaking her head at me.

“Went to the doctor for the results of my checkup,” I reply with my mouth still half full.

She raises her eyebrow and places her hand on her hip tilting her stature. “And?” she asks as Danger walks in. He spots me, nods, then reaches forward grabbing a roll himself. Sighing, I take another bite knowing full well when I tell her, she will go into mother hen mode and probably snatch the roll from my hand. Hell, she’ll probably pry the pieces from my mouth as well.

“She said I have a fatty liver, high blood pressure, and I’m a borderline diabetic.”

Danger and Lunar both open their eyes wide, their mouths forming perfect O’s.

Lunar races forward yanking the treat from my hand and slaps my chest hard. “You’re a borderline diabetic and eating this… you damn idiot!”

“How the fuck? You’re not even that fat, dude?” Danger scoffs.

I nod. “Genetics. Pre-disposed to everything. So even though I’m not that overweight, my lifestyle is the contributing factor.”

Lunar huffs and shakes her head. “The alcohol and bad food?”

I nod and Lunar frowns while Danger runs his fingers through his hair.

“Okay… so we get you eating right. First up… you’re on a diet. You eat what I eat. And second, you exercise with me!” Danger tells me with that fierce intent look he gets in his eyes.

Slumping back against the counter, I wonder what it would be like to have the body of a god like Danger, Matt, and Nate. We all know I’m the odd one out in the band. Those guys are all beefed up and good looking. I know I’m not bad looking, but my stomach has absolutely no definition.

Maybe if I take some pride in myself for once then I might feel better in myself too. Who knows?

Maybe it’s time to work on me.

Maybe it’s time to stop drowning and to start living again.

“Okay Danger, put me on your fitness regime. I need to be healthy again. I need to eat and live a lot better than I have been. I want to be a better me.”

“You’ve come to the right person. We can do this, Ry. We’re gonna get you a six pack instead of you looking like a keg.”

I manage a smile and nod. “Get me fit before our next tour?”

“Exactly. We can start this afternoon when we get back from our meeting with Oliver.”

“Shit! I forgot all about that. Do we even know what it’s about?”

Lunar picks up the tray of rolls and moves over to the trash. I smirk as Danger opens his eyes wide.

“Lunar, no!” he calls out, but she empties the tray straight into the trash. “Why’d you do that for?” Danger sulks.

She stands tall. “If Ryan’s on a health kick, we are too. To support him.”

Danger groans and she glares at him. “Okay… fine! We’re here to support you, bro.”

I look to Lunar and give her a nod. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome, fuck face.”

Smiling, I turn back to Danger. “So this meeting with Oliver?”

He shrugs. “It’s in twenty minutes, we better get going. You coming, babe?” he asks Lunar.

“Yup.” She turns grabbing her handbag from off the counter. “Let’s go.”

 

***

 

We pull up at the office block—our headquarters where we rehearse and run all our business out of—making our way inside. Matt and Nate are already sitting at the giant oval table when we walk in, and I smirk at Nate as he eyes Danger and Lunar holding hands while they step in. He’s still not over the fact that she chose to come to America with us. Nate was sure she was going to be the ruin of the band, but to be honest, she’s the one pulling us all together. It wouldn’t surprise me if Nate actually had a massive crush on Lunar. He’s always watching her and thinks we don’t notice. Maybe the others don’t, but I do. I notice the glances and deep longing looks he sends—it’s not healthy. Poor guy. Pining for a woman he can’t and will never have.

We take our seats around the table waiting for the great man and our new boss to arrive. We all miss Luke. He was a fantastic agent/manager, but his place was in Australia, and he didn’t want to leave his family. So he stayed there to help our original backup band, Luminous. He recommended an agency and manager back here in LA, so he teamed us up with Oliver Reade.

He’s a cool guy, a little quiet sometimes, but he gets the job done. Oliver walks past the spotless glass windows looking out over the city and smiles at us as he strolls in wearing a dress button up shirt, jacket and slacks but no tie.

“Afternoon guys. Nice to see you’re all here.” Oliver takes his seat at the head of the table. “Okay, we all know how successful your Australasian tour went with Luke at the helm, so now we have to replicate that over here to the American public. You’re already playing on the airwaves thanks to Ryan’s excellent public relations work, but we need more…”

I take a breath and nod. “Okay, I’ll see what other PR I can wrangle up, I’m sure I can get us some press interviews and stuff.”

Oliver inhales glancing at me and rubbing his chin. “Ryan… you’re doing a great job, but if we really want to get you guys into the big time we need someone trained in PR, don’t you think?”

My eyes widen, and I stiffen as I shake my head slightly. “Um… no.”

“Ryan, I know you’ve done the PR for Recoil since you started—”

“Exactly! So I’ll continue to keep doing it until—”

“Ry, maybe we should listen to Oliver?” Nate queries, and it shocks me.

Shaking my head slightly, I let out a small puff of air. “What? Why?”

“Well, we never took off in the States before everything happened. So obviously the PR wasn’t working… no offense.”

“You gotta be kidding me?” I groan.

“Okay, how’s this? How ‘bout we trial a new PR person? If they’re no good then Ryan takes back over?” Danger asks looking straight at me.

“Fine, but I get to choose who it is!”

Oliver stiffens, and I tilt my head at him. “What?”

“I’ve already hired someone.”

“Dude, really?” My voice raises up an octave.

“They’re the best and come from a long line of PR professionals. It runs in the family, so they know the PR world inside and out. I’ve worked with Marks Enterprises before, they’re great. They will do their best for you guys. I promise. They’ve worked with some amazing acts.”

Resigning myself to the fact I’m being replaced, I sink back into my seat. “Okay, so when do we get to meet the pompous asshole who will be taking us on?” I ask. My attention is drawn to a leggy brunette wearing a dress suit, her hair is up in a messy bun, and black rimmed glasses frame her delicate face. She reminds me of one of those women in the movies who’s the nerd girl, and when she takes off her glasses, pulls the clip from her bun and sways her hair from side to side, the room stops and stares in awe at her stunning transformation.

“I believe that pompous asshole would be me, Mister Hunter. Pleased to meet you. Tillie Marks of Marks Enterprises, and your new PR Manager.”

My cock twitches in my pants at the same time my stomach falls through the floor. Danger smirks at me, the cockhead, as I flare my nostrils at being overridden by a woman.

“Well, Tillie from Marks Enterprises… I will work with you to get the best results for my band,” I suggest.

Her cute little button nose turns up, and a crooked smile lights her face. “I work better alone, Mister Hunter. I don’t need your help, I have it under control.”

My brows furrow together as my anger begins to bubble inside me like a dormant volcano that has just sprung back to life.

Not only is my PR role being taken over by this snotty-nosed woman, but she isn’t going to even let me help. At all? This day can’t get any fucking worse! What the hell could be next?

“Oh… and Ryan… the track you laid down yesterday for the album had a technical glitch with the soundboard. It looks like you’ll have to record most of it again,” Oliver announces just to throw the additional salt on the wound.

While groaning, I throw my hands in the air in annoyance.

First, I’m told my health is on the edge.

Secondly, my PR job is replaced by her.

Thirdly, this crap of having to re-record an almost full day’s work is doing my head in.

Fucking hell! I’m ready for this day to be over. Standing, I turn to walk out of the room.

Oliver calls out to me, “Ryan, it’s going to all work out for the best.”

I grunt and stride off down the hall toward the fire escape that leads up to the rooftop garden. It’s peaceful and a nice place to calm my panicked mind. Opening the heavy green door I step up the flight of steps to the roof. The sun hits my face, instantly soothing me with its warm rays. I step out onto the concrete and take in the open space with all of the leafy green pot plants lining the edges. It’s like a little garden out here, not an extensive one, but just enough to make it relaxing. I walk over to the edge of the building, sit down on the bench and look out over the city. The mountains rise majestically in the distance and the sky is so blue it looks like a deep ocean. Even though the sounds of the city streets are below, I still find tranquility up here.

My feet come up to rest on the edge of the wall, and I sit back with my hands at the back of my head just thinking. Not about anything in particular, just about how my life is changing and I have no control of any of it. The creak of the door opening behind me doesn’t go unnoticed. I have no idea who’s coming out, but I still don’t turn around. Light footsteps patter behind me and I take a deep breath knowing whoever it is, they’re coming up behind me.

She appears by my side and sits down on the bench next to me. Her fruity perfume tickles my senses. “It’ll be okay Ry, give Tillie a chance. She seems uptight, but people like that are always good at their jobs. Look at Luke back in Oz. He was highly strung, and look where Recoil are now because of him,” Lunar says.

Sighing, I slump against the back of the seat and nod once. “I’m just on edge from a shit day.”

She leans into my side taking me into a hug. I embrace her back needing the comfort from not only my friend but, from the one woman who’s more like my surrogate sister since she came on the scene. I love Lunar and I’d be lost without her.

“Just try not to become overwhelmed. A change is as good as a holiday, they say.”

I pull back from her shaking my head. “Let’s go back inside, yeah?”

“Your head a little clearer now?” I nod. “Good, let’s go in then.” She grabs my hand and hoists me up off the seat, then wraps her arm around my waist as we walk toward the stairs.

We head back inside and Lunar kisses my cheek then rushes off toward Danger as I make my way to the kitchen. I need a coffee to give me that caffeine boost I’m craving. Strolling through the doors, I notice Tillie already flicking the switch to turn on the kettle. The hairs on my arms stand on end, my muscles clench at the sight of her, so I stop my tracks as she turns and notices me. A moment passes between us as she locks eye contact with me. A tension so thick surges between us. I can’t take it, so I turn to walk back out.

“Ryan… wait!”

My body halts at the tone of her soothing voice and I turn back to look at her again. It’s unnerving how beautiful she is even with the nerdy, preppy look she has going on.

“We can’t avoid each other. We’ll be working in close proximity… a lot. We should try to get along.”

I fold my arms over my chest. “You took what I love doing away from me, Tillie.”

She breathes in and exhales loudly. “I was hired to do a task, Ryan. I’m sorry if it was yours first, but now I’m here and I’m going to do a damn fine job of it.”

“Well, it’s good to know you won’t be slacking. But don’t expect me to not pull you up on something when it’s not right.”

She raises her eyebrow. “By all means. If you think you can help me do my job better, then go for it. I’m all about self-improvement.”

“Are you saying I need self-improvement?”

She furrows her brows and shakes her head. “No, not at all. You’re fine the way you are, Ryan.”

“No, I’m not,” I murmur.

She creases her forehead and looks at me. “What do you mean?”

I shake my head just the once. “Doesn’t matter. Just keep me in the loop, okay?”

“I can do that,” she states with a half-smile.

“Good!” I turn to walk out.

“Don’t you want a coffee?” she calls out.

Turning back to her, I sigh. “Suddenly lost the craving for it.”

Stepping out of the kitchen, I walk back toward the boardroom. As I stroll in, the rest of the guys are there along with Oliver and he’s discussing releasing our next album. I take my seat and begin to listen in. After a few minutes Tillie enters and sits down with her coffee opposite me. I can’t help it, my eyes wander up to look at her. Tuning out of the conversation happening around me, I watch as her supple lips sip on the steaming mug of coffee. Her nude lip gloss coats the rim of the mug, and I can’t help but wonder briefly what flavor gloss she’s wearing and what it would taste like.

My eyes open wide at the shock of that thought.

Where the hell did that come from?

I take a deep breath and tune back into the conversation.

“Tillie will be at your rehearsal tomorrow to hear you perform, so she can get a feel for your music. She’s listened to your albums, but there’s nothing like hearing you guys live,” Oliver informs.

“Trust me, Tillie, you’ll melt when you hear them live. I still do, and I’ve heard them a ton of times.”

“Aww… thanks, babe,” Danger beams and leans in kissing Lunar’s temple.

“Get a room,” Nate calls out.