RYAN

 

Black.

A black void is all I see, but sharpness jabs my right side. My eyes are heavy and a constant beeping sound is so fucking annoying I want to rip my ears off. But there’s no movement.

Only black…

 

 

The beeping is persistent but now muffled voices are clear too. I hear Tillie, and every time I hear her the darkness lifts slightly.

“His hand is moving, I think he’s waking up. Ryan, baby, are you with me?”

Her voice is like an angel and I want to go to her so I push and break through the black to get to her. My eyes flicker open, everything’s bright lights and fog.

“Ryan, hey, I’m right here. Stay with me.” Her voice is like heaven and I squint as my eyes focus on her beautiful face while it comes into my vision a little more clearly. Her glasses are off and her eyes are red and puffy like she’s been crying.

It breaks my heart.

“Hey,” I murmur, and she bursts into full on tears.

“Hey,” she muffles back caressing my face gently.

“Did they get her?” I ask.

Oliver comes over and nods. “They found out she was the online stalker. The one going by the name Hunter’s Girl. They raided her house and in her basement was a darkroom with thousands of photos of you and Tillie. Most of them had Tillie’s face cut out, and Cadence photo-shopped her face in place. She was a freak, Ryan, and tried to kill Tillie so you could ‘be together.’” He used finger quotes.

“That’s fucking crazy,” I murmur.

“She’s in for a psych evaluation now, but she’s going to be charged with attempted murder.”

“Are you okay?” I ask looking to Tillie.

“You got stabbed in the liver and you’re asking if I’m okay?”

“In the liver?” I ask.

Danger steps up to the bed. “Yeah, the doctors say it just grazed it which caused an internal bleed or some shit. They fixed you up, and you’re gonna be fine. He says it’s lucky you’re on a health kick, ‘cause if it affected your liver the way it was a couple of months ago, you could be very sick right now,” he says with a wince. I’ve never seen him looking so worried.

“Lucky I’m looking so damn good then,” I say with a chuckle, then wince from the pain. “How long am I in recovery for?”

A nurse walks in and we all look at her just as I say it. “I can probably fill you in a bit better. You were in surgery for six hours, and the surgeon had to do a partial lobe removal of a small section of the damaged part of your liver. Don’t worry, it will grow back. Due to the changes in your diet your liver will recover much faster, but you’ll have to continue your change in lifestyle to remain healthy. You’ll be convalescing for about five to ten days depending on the speed of your recovery, and then you’ll need to take it easy for eight to twelve weeks.”

“Okay thanks,” I say as she checks over the machines hooked up to me.

“You’re welcome. We’re just glad you’re awake,” she says.

Tillie tightens her hand in mine. “So am I.”

I look to her and smile through the fog. “When I saw her lunging at you with the knife, Tillie…” I shake my head and sigh trying to remove the ugly image.

“You should have let her get me. You’re far more important to the world than I am. If you’d have died I…” she pauses as her bottom lip trembles, and the others slowly filter out of the room obviously giving us some time together.

“You say I’m more important to the world, but you’re more important in my world, Tillie. There was no way I would let her hurt you. No way.”

“Why have you been so distant?” she asks.

I tense up clenching my eyes shut.

I’m still not ready to tell her.

You’d think after something like this I’d have the strength to open up, but if anything it’s holding me back even more.

Why? I’m not sure, she deserves to know. She should know. But I can’t… not yet.

“Tillie, I’m feeling tired. I’ve just woken up. I’m not really sure what I’m saying.”

She nods and caresses my cheek. “Of course. The morphine would be making you woozy. Rest. We have plenty of time.”

Taking a deep breath, I sigh and close my eyes welcoming sleep.

 

TILLIE

 

Ryan drifts back to sleep and I let his hand go moving to sit back down in the armchair. I really want to know what happened with Mel, and who the hell Katie is, but I don’t want to push especially while he’s recovering and only just woken up. So I’ll bide my time and ask again when the time is right.

Lunar sticks her head through the door and looks at me half-smiling. “You okay?”

“Yeah, a little confused,” I murmur back glancing to Ryan to see if he’s actually asleep.

She snorts stepping into the room further. “These rockers tend to do that to you. Need a shoulder?”

I exhale taking another quick glance at Ryan. There’s no movement so I look back to Lunar. “Have you been able to find out who Katie is?” I whisper in case Ryan’s pretending to be asleep, but he doesn’t move at my question and Lunar purses her lips and shrugs.

“Nope. Danger hasn’t said… why?”

I slump into my seat. “She’s a part of Ryan’s past. A big one. I just don’t know in what way.”

“An ex?” Lunar asks.

“Probably.” I shrug.

“Are you worried about her coming back?”

“No, nothing like that. It’s just he shuts down when she’s mentioned. I think she really did a number on him.”

Lunar looks at him and nods. “Could be why he’s been so anti-girlfriends… until you.”

“But then, why me?”

She tilts her head and smiles. “‘Cause you fight him and didn’t throw yourself at him like a groupie. Plus, you liked Ryan for what he was inside, not his status. He saw that. He knows how rare chicks like you are.”

“I just hope one day he has the courage to tell me about her.”

“I’m sure he will, but don’t push, that will make him close up even more.”

Nodding, I swallow and sink into the chair as she sits down next to me.

“You guys will be fine. You have to be. I need a couple to double date with.”

Giggling, I nod pulling out my cell to check on the feeds and updates on Ryan’s well wishes.

 

ONE WEEK LATER

 

We’re taking Ryan home finally and he’s looking good albeit very tender and sore. I’m going to be staying at his place to help Lunar and Danger look after him. Roxie said she didn’t mind pet sitting for a little while longer.

So now we’re at the house, Lunar’s cooking a healthy dinner while I lay in bed next to him cuddled into his side.

“Thank you,” he says out of nowhere.

“What for?”

“Just for being here, for being you.”

I lean up looking down at him careful not to lean on his chest. “Of course I’d be here, Ryan. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Glad to hear it, now kiss me, I miss your lips.”

“I kissed you this morning.”

“I mean a real kiss, Tillie… tongues thrashing, heavy moaning, hair pulling type of kiss.”

My thighs pull tighter at the thought. “How ‘bout a compromise? Tongues thrashing and moaning sure, but no physical exertion. You’re still recovering, Ryan.”

“Okay, fine.” His hand comes up and wraps around the back of my head into my hair pulling my head down to meet his. I hold my body up, so I don’t put any weight on his body as my lips crash against his mouth, and we kiss passionately for the first time in over two weeks. A week since the incident, and a week before that we were rocky after Mel’s appearance.

But right now, I feel like we’re back on track. It was hard to tell in the hospital because there was always other people around, but now it’s just us alone, together at last. I can feel his love for me oozing from his pores and I feel right at home. I feel like this is where I’m meant to belong.

Kissing him is my safe place, my haven, my home.

 

TWELVE WEEKS LATER

 

We move together in a perfect harmony. Our bodies glistening as I ride him in bed. His hard length thrusts up inside of me, stretching me perfectly as my nails dig into his chest scratching his perfect skin slightly. He groans as my head falls back in bliss.

“Oh God, Ryan,” I moan as his fingers dig into my hips while he moves me up and down on top of him. This is our second attempt at making love since his surgery, the first was an hour ago and this feels even better than the first. He’s taking me to a euphoric high as I ride him torturously slowly, taking in every ounce of him I can. He fills me completely as we both moan quietly knowing Danger and Lunar are across the hall.

Even though this is slow and gentle, I don’t mind. Being passionate with Ryan brings a new kind of emotion and rawness to our love making. It’s heightening the experience and it makes the connection stronger. Riding him knowing our love for each other is in the here and now, makes this all the more pleasurable.

Ryan thrusts up into me deeper as his hand skims across from my hip down in between my legs. His thumb presses on my clit and I gasp at the new heightened pleasure. I bite down hard on my bottom lip trying to keep quiet as I ride him a little faster, needing to get to the precipice. The muffled moans and deep heavy breathing fills the room as he presses on my clit swirling slowly, forcing a rapid heat to fill my veins.

I move my hips on top of him a little faster trying to get the right friction as we both pant with need. He circles faster as my nails dig into his chest. He groans, pressing firmly on my clit which sends a jolt right through my core. My muscles tighten as my eyes shut. My skin flames red hot and a tingle rolls through my body.

He presses again, this time roughly on my clit and I gasp as a jolt of electricity sparks all of the atoms alive in my body. It shudders and trembles so fast that I feel like jelly as I moan out loud not caring if Lunar and Danger can hear. He moans thrusting up deep inside of me as my entire being ignites.

Everything tingles and my soul shatters in a mind blistering orgasm as I ride him hard pressing down on his cock firmly. He jolts as he groans, his fingers digging into my hips as he helps me ride out my climax. My body melts as I lose all function and fall down on top of him. My head falls forward, my lips crashing to his in a lazy kiss as I somehow slowly continue to move my hips in time with his.

His hands grip onto my ass as he pulls me on and off him trying to reach his own peak. Our tongues lazily massage each other’s as he kisses me back, and he begins to jerk as his cock twitches inside of me. He groans, thrusting up once more making me moan as his fingers grip hard into my ass cheeks and he unloads inside of me with an intense throaty groan.

Our bodies are slick with perspiration as we both continue to kiss each other slowly and passionately. Frantic breaths stream from our noses as our movements finally stop. His hands slide up my back as he pulls me into an embrace and holds me to him. I love the connection we have. Slowly, I pull back from the kiss resting my forehead on his and look into his bright green eyes as we both pant harshly from the exertion.

“That was…”

“Yeah,” he simply replies.

I sit up rolling onto my back next to him as we both bask in the afterglow.

“God, I’ve been needing that for weeks,” Ryan admits and I giggle.

“I know, I just wanted to make sure you were fully healed before we did anything too strenuous.”

He turns his head to look at me. “It was worth the wait.”

“Good, I’m glad. But, now we have to go to yoga. It’s Wednesday and people still want their health updates, and I promised we’d have an update and live feed today.”

He groans and I giggle as I sit up on the bed. Ryan grabs my hand stopping me from getting out of bed. “Just five more minutes… in bed… together?”

“Sure, but only five, or we’ll be late,” I say laying back down and cuddling into his left side.

He chuckles wrapping his arm around me and kisses my bed hair.

 

***

 

We’re in the kitchen having a quick snack before we have to head out for yoga. Technically, we should all be at the office today, but Oliver gave us all the day off. He’s been a little more lenient with us since Ryan’s attack. Which is good. It’s given us more time to spend together.

We’re sharing some toast, Ryan’s leaning against the kitchen counter and I’m resting my back against his front, his arms are wrapped around my waist as he holds me to him and we share a bite each of the triangle of toast as we chuckle over this morning’s gossip column.

Lunar walks in, stops, looks at us raising her eyebrow and smirks. “Well, don’t you two look fucking cozy?”

Ryan chuckles shaking his head. “Shut up, you love it.”

“What I don’t love is the… oh God, Ryan, oh yes, yes, you big man, ram it in me harder, harder, yes yes, yesss,” she says over-accentuating every word.

Opening my eyes wide as well as my mouth, she grins wide as Ryan chuckles. “I don’t sound like that… do I?” I ask in almost a whisper, turning my head quickly to look at Ryan as Lunar giggles.

“No, you don’t. Lunar don’t be a cow,” Ryan chides.

“Well, okay, maybe you don’t sound like that, but can you start? It would be far more entertaining, and it would make me laugh instead of turning me on when I do hear you two going at it.”

Ryan rolls his eyes as I just stand there saying nothing. Lunar steps up taking a bite of the piece of toast in Ryan’s hand. “Just sayin’ if you guys ever feel like adding in another couple to the equation, I’m sure Danger and I would be down for that party—”

“Okay, time to go,” Ryan says chucking the piece of toast onto the plate on the counter and directing me toward the door. I purse my lips wondering if Lunar’s joking in her usual way, but I figure knowing her and Danger’s sexual ways, she probably isn’t.

“Think about it?” Lunar calls out with a hint of a laugh in her voice as Ryan walks me to the door.

“Have a good day, Lunar,” Ryan replies with a slight chuckle in his voice as he opens the door and pushes me toward it. I quickly grab my bag from the hook by the door and giggle as I walk outside.

He closes the door shaking his head. “Fucking woman.”

I giggle and walk toward my car. “Was she joking?” I ask, he looks at me and raises an eyebrow.

“I don’t even know, probably not. But I’m not very good at sharing,” he says as we reach the car.

“Well, good, not sure how I feel about orgies and all, especially after promising Roxie I wouldn’t partake in such rock star behavior.”

He laughs as we slide into my car. “Tillie, if you’re my girl, you’re my girl, no one else’s. Period.”

“Good to know.”

“Okay, let’s get our yoga on.”

“Lara will be happy to see you again after so long off.”

“Will be good to get back into it.”

 

***

 

We pull up at the yoga studio and get out of my car. Ryan walks around and grabs my hand while I smile at the small gesture. I love how in sync we are right now. Before the incident we were hardly talking, but now we’re as loved up a couple as you can get.

Even though the stabbing was a horrible incident and I wish it never happened, in a way it was what has brought us together and made us closer than ever. It’s bonded us as a couple, and I feel like we’re in such a good place right now. I’m so happy with where we are.