TILLIE
Arriving at the rehearsal studio to hear the band, I pull my car up. I must admit, it’s only my second day officially working for Recoil, but I’m excited to hear what they sound like live. I’ve heard them on the radio, and they’re good, really good. Being in this industry for a few years has given me a solid ear for talent, and hearing them gets me excited. Plus, having my parents in the business taught me a thing or two. I just hope Recoil are reliable and don’t cause too much media hype that I have to cover up. I can’t stand spoiled rock stars with their over-demanding ways and high maintenance attitudes.
Danger and Lunar are in their own world so I’m not worried about them too much. But then there’s Ryan who’s on edge for some reason that I am yet to learn. Nate is grumpy at best. Matt, well I don’t know enough about him yet to get an idea about his lifestyle or issues. He seems quieter than the others, more like the peacekeeper of the bunch. Maybe he’ll be the least of my concern.
I park my car and slide out. The top of my convertible is up as it looks like a storm is heading in from the west. I look up and see dark, ominous clouds rolling in through the gray September sky.
Making my way inside the studio, I spot Oliver, his short spiked blond hair looking precision perfect today as always. I’ve known him for a while, and his good looks never seem to fade. His strong jaw line is cleanly shaven and his blue eyes sparkle with excitement. He’s a good looking guy and I’m sure under the business attire he’s fit as well. He’s inside the studio with the guys as I enter the sound room to have a chat with Lunar.
“Hey, how are you today?” I ask.
She turns and smiles. “Hey, Tillie. Good thanks. Glad you could make it. You wait till you hear them play, you’re gonna die. Like literally keel over and shrivel up like a corpse.”
Raising an eyebrow at her vivid imagery, I smirk. “Wow! Not sure I like that effect. I’d like to see my twenty-eighth birthday in a normal style rather than a shriveled up zombie.”
She laughs. “Don’t worry, you’ll only die just enough to know you’re living. I promise.”
“You’re a little bit weird.” I chuckle.
“Yeah. Think being with a bunch of bikers for so long has made me a tad morbid. But you get used to me. Don’t worry,” she says patting the stool next to her.
As I sit down, I cross my legs. My sky-high heel hooks over the bottom rung while the guys pick up their guitars, and Nate sits down at his drum kit.
“Here we go. Hold on to your tits, Tillie,” Lunar quips.
I literally burst out laughing as she stares at Danger in a state of awe. The love oozing from her is palpable. It’s kind of making me jealous to the point where I wish I loved someone like that.
The music starts, distracting me so I turn to watch the guys. The thing about Recoil is they are all so goddamned good looking. Every single one of them. I can’t tell Matt and Nate apart, except for when their different tattooed arms are showing. Danger is smoking hot and Ryan, even though he doesn’t have the built body that the other guys have, he’s not fat by any means. He doesn’t have a beer belly or love handles. I think he just doesn’t have defined abs like the others most definitely would have. But his face… his face is so handsome and defined. It has an edge to it, that childlike boyish look with a bad boy persona behind it.
He’s definitely my type but I can’t go there. Not only because, technically he’s my boss, but also he hates me so it would be an impossibility. My thoughts are muted when Ryan breaks into a solo on his guitar leading into the song. My heart leaps into my throat at the way he plucks at the strings. It’s like he’s making love to the guitar, and the sounds coming from it are pure musical genius.
Lunar’s right. I am dying inside because staring at Ryan and the way he’s playing is complete torturous agony. I want to run to him, wrap my arms around his body, and smother myself in him. There’s something about the way he moves with his instrument that makes me weak at the knees, just like my body is losing control of its functions.
Danger starts to sing. His voice is mixed with the beats and melody of the music which sends a rush of endorphins through me like nothing I’ve ever experienced before and believe me I’ve listened to and worked with great bands in the past. Sure on the radio or in the car Recoil’s sound is great, but live it’s fucking electrifying. Volts of pure energy run through me. While staring at Ryan, my body pulses, quivers and shudders with need. My breathing is rushed and harsh as my heart races so frantically I can barely breathe. I’ve never had a rush like this, and I know that he’ll be my undoing. He’ll be the death of me, I’m sure, just as Lunar had predicted. And fuck was she right.
I’m hypnotized by the beats as I notice Ryan continuing to pluck at the strings of his guitar. I gaze over at Danger and notice he’s using a pick. With a great big smirk on my face, I can’t help but think that Ryan is an A-grade plucker and then I giggle to myself thinking I’m seriously losing the plot. It’s only day two and already my senses are haywire.
Lunar looks to me raising an eyebrow. “Care to share what you’re giggling about?”
I sink into myself that she heard me, but I figure I may as well be honest. “Ryan plucks the guitar strings. I thought to myself he’s an A-grade plucker.”
Lunar laughs. “Plucker—fucker, it’s easy to get the two confused.” I giggle along with her. “But actually… Ry’s a good guy once you get to know him. He’s helped me through some rough times, in the beginning, with Danger. He’s a caring guy under all that idiocy.”
“It sounds like you’re trying to sell him to me?”
She smiles. “Well, I know you’re coming in will have stepped on his toes and he’s going to be a baby about it. But just give it back to him and believe in yourself. You’re here for a reason, Tillie, because you’re good at what you do. Don’t let him make you doubt it.”
“Oh, I wouldn’t, believe me. I’m strong and I won’t let him faze me, but I’m not here to cause trouble either.”
“Ha! Cause trouble, I say! Stir these boys up, they thrive on it.”
With that thought running through my brain, I turn back to keep listening to the band. They’re so good my arms are still covered in goosebumps, and I’m glad Lunar is here to help me tame these bad boy rockers. ‘Cause two strong women are better than one.
***
After listening to Recoil play a few more songs, and gathering myself together enough to function properly, I get out of fangirl Tillie mode and back into PR Manager Tillie mode. I’m so impressed with their sound, I feel I need to share it with the world. So I log into the guys’ Facebook page and start a live stream showing the guys rehearsing. Seeing as live streaming is available for anyone to see, I figure it’s a chance for their fans, plus any people who haven’t seen them before, to view them in their rawest form. It may be raw, but it’s fucking brilliant. They sound amazing, and I’m only doing one song, just a tease, a sample, to whet the fans’ appetites to make them want more. This is an awesome way to entice their fans to engage on their page, and hopefully to bring in new people who haven’t seen them before. It’s a flawless plan unless, of course, something happens during the live feed that’s unexpected, but I can always cut it quickly if it does.
Comments are coming in hot and fast. People are loving it, and Lunar is standing back behind me watching the comments and emojis flying across the screen.
She’s smiling widely as she shakes her head. “Brilliant idea, Tillie,” she whispers in my ear.
I nod keeping the camera rolling and focused on the guys. The song ends and Oliver stands up and starts talking, so I quickly end the feed and turn around to Lunar with a smirk.
“That went well. Will be interesting to see if the comments keep rolling in from people who play the video back later,” I say.
She pats my shoulder. “I never would have thought to even do that. It’s such a good idea, Tillie. You are good at your job, the guys should be stoked!”
After I’m finished, I check their Facebook page and already it has hundreds more likes on it than before the live stream. Knowing it’s been a success, I walk through to the studio to tell the guys with a smile on my face.
“I’m loving your new material. Keep up the good work, Danger. Your songwriting is evolving and becoming better and better,” Oliver says as I walk up to them. Ryan looks at me like he’s simply annoyed by my mere presence.
“My writer’s block is officially gone since I was able to finish Lunar Eclipse, and now the words flow easily,” Danger replies.
Ryan watches me pull up a stool next to Oliver and sit down, my skirt rides up my thighs slightly and Ryan’s jaw clenches. I swallow hard watching him.
“Right, Tillie do you have anything to add?” Oliver asks me breaking away my close watch on Ryan.
I look at him and nod. “Actually yes. I did a live stream of you guys playing on your Facebook page and over twelve thousand people logged on to watch and comment.”
Danger, Matt, and Nate all nod with their eyes wide and lips pursed in looks of surprise, but Ryan huffs folding his arms over his chest.
Taking a deep breath, I look at him. “Not happy, Ryan?”
“Well, I would have liked to have known I was being streamed live across the world. Plus 12K doesn’t sound like a lot to me. I don’t think you can class that as a successful PR stunt, Tillie.”
“Well, Ryan, twelve thousand is actually a really good number considering your page likes are at sixty thousand from all over the world. But mostly those likes are from fans in Australia, who I might add, are currently in bed right now. So this 12K is only the tiny American and European audience you’ve broken into so far. So, 12K doesn’t sound so bad now… does it?”
He scoffs putting his guitar down and shakes his head. “You still should have asked for our permission to film us.”
I nod. “Okay, I understand that… I’m sorry. I will make sure to pre-warn you before I do it again. Plus, I should announce it on the page when I’m going to do a live stream so we can raise more awareness out there anyway. It was a snap decision, but one that paid off. Your page likes are still going up right now as I speak… oh there’s one now, and another one, and anoth—”
“Okay, you don’t have to be a show-off,” he interrupts.
Furrowing my brows at his attitude, I’m beginning to think Lunar’s surmise on Ryan being a fucker was right on the money. Even so, I can’t help but look past his assholery to see a broken man. A soft, kind hearted soul who just needs some gentle care. I wonder what’s happened in his life to form the dark circles under his eyes, and for him to put on this bravado act I can see right through.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” he asks.
“Like what?” I ask with a small amount of shock in my voice.
“I don’t know. You’re hard to read and you’re looking at me weird.”
“Oh God, Ryan, you’re so melodramatic.” Ryan frowns at Lunar as she walks in. “And leave Tillie alone. She’s the only other set of ovaries in this place, I need her alive.”
I smirk at her choice of words.
“You can have her all to yourself, I have no need for her,” Ryan says.
Ouch. I have to admit his words do sting a little. I like to be needed, and something in me wants to rush to Ryan and be his protector, even though he’s treating me like shit.
“Well, Ryan, you may not want me, but you’re stuck with me. So deal with it by putting your big boy panties on and behaving like an adult. You do know what an adult is, don’t you?” I tease.
He smirks. “Funny! Would someone who behaves like an adult be so condescending?”
I stiffen because he’s right. I hate to admit it, but he’s pushing my buttons and making me snappy because I’m so desperate for his approval. I’m never like this, never talk back to my clients, unless there’s real need for it. I’m here solely for PR work, and usually, my clients listen to everything I say without question. After all, they’re paying for my expertise.
I’m not used to this, at all.
Damn it!
“You’re right, I’m sorry.”
“Apology accepted,” he says but offers nothing in return.
My eyes open wide in infuriation as the others watch.
“Well?”
“Well what?”
“Aren’t you sorry, too?” I ask.
“What for?”
I scoff. “What for? What for! Oh my… okay, I see what you’re doing. You’re trying to rile me up and anger me so I’ll quit, right?” His smile falters like he’s annoyed I’m onto him. “Well, let me tell you, Ryan Hunter, it will take more than that to get rid of me, sir!”
He tilts his head. “Leave it with me. I’m sure I’ll think of something—”
“Ryan, ease up,” Danger berates, and Ryan snorts.
“When someone comes in saying they’re going to take over writing the band’s songs and that your job is being taken from you… you see how you react to it,” he basically spits out.
Danger, whose eyes are almost bulging out of his head, looks immediately to Oliver in question.
Oliver glares at Ryan. “No one is coming to write Recoil’s songs, Danger. Ryan’s just being an ass!”
Danger slumps his body and exhales. “Thank God,” he murmurs.
“But see, it doesn’t feel good does it?” Ryan almost yells.
Danger swallows, as do I. For the first time I feel really shit about my position here. But I want this band to succeed, and with the PR being run the way it was it definitely won’t.
Recoil needs me, as much as Ryan might disagree.
“Okay, I think we’re done here. Let’s all go home and come back refreshed tomorrow, yeah?” Oliver asks.
I nod, stand up and walk out as quickly as I can without looking back.
***
Making my way inside my quaint little one story modern villa, my chocolate colored Cavoodle, Piper, barks and jumps at my feet. Seeing her always makes any stress I have temper away. I lean down petting her wavy fur and smile.
“Hey girl, Mama missed you today.” I close the door heading into the living room and plonk myself down on the couch. Piper jumps up onto my lap, curling herself into a ball as I cuddle her. I look to the table and see the photo of me with my grandma. I can’t help but remember how I had to take care of her in her dying years not that long ago. It was so hard to watch her fade away, but because of that, it’s made me want to look after those who can’t look after themselves. I see that in Ryan and my need to help him—even though he’s seriously testing me—is outweighing the need to be angry at him.