RIA

 

We pull up at Recoil’s office building and hop out of Nate’s car. We’re all packed after a great night’s sleep and ready to head off on the press junket. It’s a glorious day, the sun is shining brightly in the clear morning sky, and as I take in the sounds of the city surrounding me, Nate pulls out our luggage from the car.

“I’m impressed. I would’ve thought for a diva you’d pack a little… I dunno, heavier?”

“Not a real diva… remember?”

“Ah… yes, of course.” He steps in and presses his lips to my forehead as another car pulls up behind Nate’s. Tillie and Ryan step out and I wave as Ryan goes about pulling their luggage from the trunk. It’s about the same amount that we have and Tillie walks over as Ryan fusses about.

“Hey Zaria, glad you’re coming along,” Tillie says pulling me into a hug. I tense up slightly as I’m still not sure if she’s being totally serious, but I quickly wrap my arms around and embrace her back when I realize she’s not going to let go until I do.

“Thanks Tillie, I’m hoping it’ll be fun. Glad I’ll have you with me,” I say honestly.

She smiles and pushes her glasses back up her nose from where they’d fallen slightly. “We’re gonna have so much fun, you wait and see.”

“That’s if Lunar doesn’t smother me with a pillow in my sleep.”

Tillie winks at me. “Not her style. If she’s gonna off someone she’ll make sure to let you know she’s doing it. I’d imagine lots of slapping, hands around the throat, maybe some hits to the ribs with a baseball bat. You know… something obvious. Lunar doesn’t do subtle, so if she’s gonna kill you, you’ll at least see it coming.”

“Wow! Comforting,” I say and Nate chuckles while shaking his head.

“Tillie that’s not helping,” he says.

“It’s not? Damn! I was trying to be funny. Ryan… you’re not teaching me right. I’m not funny, yet,” she calls out and I burst out laughing. Her eyes open wide like she’s proud of herself. “Ha! You laughed. Mission accomplished. Tillie, one… depressed Zaria, zero!”

Nate high fives Tillie and she nods proudly as Ryan comes over and smiles. “What’d I miss?”

“I made a funny, babe.”

“God, it’s about time. And I missed it? Oh well, I’m sure you’ll make me laugh on this tour for sure.”

“Challenge accepted…”

“You two are strange,” I say and they both nod.

“Yeah, we’re in our own little bubble of awesomeness,” Ryan says pulling Tillie to him and kissing her head. It’s sweet and tender and tells me everything I need to know about them as a couple.

Nate reaches out grabbing my hand as another car pulls up. Danger steps out and opens the trunk while Lunar slides out fussing about her hair. I tense up immediately. This tour is going to be awkward if we don’t get along, so I’m going to make an effort.

“Hey guys,” Ryan calls out.

“Hey fucker,” Lunar replies with a smirk like she always calls him that.

Danger starts pulling bag after bag out of the trunk.

“Oh, if it isn’t the diva,” Lunar says looking at me as I look at all of her luggage and can’t help but let out a stifled laugh.

“Excuse me? Have you looked at yourself?” I point to her bags without thinking and immediately regret it as she glares at me.

Nate squeezes my hand and I sink back into myself.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Lunar scoffs.

“No… nothing. Sorry. Forget I said anything,” I say remembering my thoughts to play nice.

Tillie huffs as Lunar flicks her hair over her shoulders. “Lunar, do you really need all this shit? It’s a small tour bus.” Tillie asks not so gently.

Lunar looks back at the six luggage bags and exhales, her body slumping slightly. “What did you guys bring?”

“One bag each,” Nate says.

She slumps even further and winces. “Oh… shit, fuck!… Now I’m the diva, aren’t I?”

Everyone besides me smiles as she pouts looking to Danger who’s chuckling. “Told ya, babe.”

“But two bags are my foundation shit.”

“You have two bags… just for makeup?”

She gives me an actual smile. “No, my charity work.”

“Oh…” I glance up at Nate and he smiles down at me.

“Okay, I’ll take three bags, half the load. Is that okay, Till?”

Tillie laughs and nods.

“There’s gotta be a joke in there about half a load right, Tillie?” Ryan asks.

Tillie slaps his chest and rolls her eyes as Lunar steps up to her bags to cull them.

I turn to Nate and he smiles at me. “Is it just me or did we kind of have a little bit of a half way decent conversation then?”

“Not sure I’d class it as a conversation, but it was better than it has been.”

I lean up on my toes and kiss him as another car pulls up. Matt steps out whistling at us as I giggle against Nate’s lips, pulling back slightly.

“If you get us confused on tour, Zaria… I won’t hold it against you if I can hold you against me,” Matt calls out.

Nate rolls his eyes and flips his brother the bird.

“Plus, I’m better looking,” Matt adds.

I can’t help but laugh while Nate groans.

“That’s my line, douche,” Nate calls back to his brother.

“Yeah, but it’s not true when you say it.”

I laugh again and Nate pokes me in the ribs making me jump on the spot.

“Hey you, don’t side with the evil twin.”

I grin. “Never, only you.”

He smiles and leans down kissing me gently as my hand runs through his hair. Suddenly, someone beside us is making slobbering noises and we break apart to see Ryan French kissing his hand aggressively. I burst out laughing as he looks at me and smirks.

“That’s what you guys look like… kissing fiends, slobbering maniacs, horn dogs… it’s gross. Get a fucking room.” He smiles so wide it’s contagious.

“You and Tillie are much worse,” Nate defends.

“Oh, I know… it’s such a turn on isn’t it?” He slaps Nate’s head and runs off in the opposite direction. He’s full of energy and compared to how he used to look when Recoil were first on the scene, he’s toned up well. He looks great. Plus, he’s super cute too.

I have to admit the whole band is hot, but Nate was the one who captivated me right from the start. It was his eyes and the deep somber tone to them, the longing, the need to find somewhere to belong.

I know that look.

I see it in the mirror every day.

It’s why I was drawn to him.

I see myself in him.

We’ve both had troubled upbringings that have led us to a star-studded life. But just because we’re famous doesn’t mean we’re fulfilled. Nate has had his art which he needs to pursue, and he will with my help.

And me? I’d love to teach, but that’s hard when you’re famous. I guess I just have to play my life out as it goes. I have no idea.

A sudden blaring of a horn rattles me from my thoughts as I look up to see Olly waving from a bus as it’s being driven onto the lot. On the side of the bus is a picture of Danger and me up against the window from the set. It’s lovely and the band’s logo is next to us. Then a picture of all the guys is next to that. It’s a real tour bus, and this is all pretty fucking exciting and so different to what I’ve been used to.

The doors open and Olly steps off with the biggest of smiles. “Ladies and gentleman your carriage awaits.”

We load our luggage and have a look around. Up front is a section of seats and tables. It’s not set out like a normal bus, but like one of the jets I’m used to where it’s more like a boardroom than a plane. Then there’s a section break and four bathrooms. At the back is the sleeping quarters. There’s six beds in total and they’re all slightly smaller than a queen sized bed, but stacked three in a row like bunks. There’s not a lot of room in height between each bunk, but it’s better than sleeping in a chair.

“Dibs on the top bunk,” Ryan calls out and Tillie groans.

“Ryan, think of me in this, will you? I don’t wanna climb up the top all the time.”

“Middle bunk?” Ryan counters.

“Fine… middle bunk,” she groans.

Ryan grins claiming the middle bunk on the left. We grab the bottom bunk bellow them and Matt grabs the top. Olly takes middle right while Lunar and Danger take the bottom leaving the top for the driver or whoever needs it when we’re at stops. The other bus following us has our security detail on board and they will follow us everywhere we go.

After we settle in, we head off for the first stop on our two to three months long tour.

We arrive in Tucson, Arizona for an interview by a radio station. It’s going to be the first interview with Danger and me together, and I’m sure we’ll have to play up our friendship more than it really is. But that’s okay. Maybe I’ll get to know him a little better on this tour, and by the end we won’t have to fake our friendship quite so much.

The bus pulls up at the WARI Studio and there’s a small crowd waiting by the studio door. I figure they’re all here for Recoil, and it’s kinda nice to not be the center of attention for once. Even though I know some fans will be here to see me, the majority are here for the boys.

“Okay, can I have your attention, please?” Olly calls out. “We’re going to head in and do this interview. Then from here we’re heading back on the road to Dallas. So you guys can get some rest after this because it’s a bit of a drive…” He points to the door. “Okay, let’s go.” He claps his hands and we all get up and head out.

Security is waiting to help us, and as we exit the screaming starts. I begin my usual routine of smile and wave to the fans, but soon realize they’re not here for me. A couple of them look at me and smile, but mostly they’re all screaming for the boys. I grin and chuckle to myself as I stop waving and turn to Nate to see him nodding and waving to everyone. It feels weird. I’m so used to having a mass of attention on me, but I’m not jealous, far from it. If anything it’s nice to stand back and watch someone else be in the limelight for once.

Ryan’s running along the line hi-fiving everyone as Danger signs autographs, and Matt’s standing back looking like he’s not really caring about anything. Like he’s seen this all a million times before and the fame doesn’t bother him at all.

Nate, however, he’s smiling from ear to ear, absorbing everything but standing back at my side.

I lean into his ear. “Go! I’m fine. Be with your fans,” I whisper.

He looks to me and shakes his head. “I don’t wanna leave you.”

“It’ll look suspicious if you never leave my side, Nate.”

He nods as I squeeze his hand and gesture over to a girl who’s holding a pair of drum sticks. “Go.”

Nate winks at me and then turns heading for the girl with the sticks. She hands them to him and he leans in to give her a hug and have a selfie. The look on her face is pure jubilation and I stand back in awe. I love how much the crowd adores these guys. I never realized just how popular they are. I guess I thought me being in their video was me helping them. Maybe they will be the ones helping me?

“Zaria, can I get a picture?” someone calls out.

I nod feeling like finally someone knows who I am. I walk over and she smiles so brightly.

“Hi honey, what’s your name?” I ask.

“Hazel.”

“Well Hazel, it’s lovely to meet you. Thanks for coming out to support the guys.”

She smiles. “Well, I do love them, but you’re my favorite actress, too. So having you both here together is like all my dreams come true.”

“Aww, you’re sweet. I hope you enjoy our video when it comes out, be sure to keep an eye out for it.”

“Oh… I will. I’ll be watching it on repeat over and over again, sooo many times. Don’t you worry about that.”

I laugh. “Well, thank you for your support, Hazel. It means so much to us all. In fact, Danger…” I call out grabbing his attention. He looks at me and smiles as I wave him over.

Hazel tenses up as he walks up to us.

“Hey,” he says smiling wide.

“Can we have a pic with me and our biggest fan, Hazel, here?”

Danger smiles. “Biggest fan, hey? Of course.” He moves in behind Hazel as I shift to her side. She freezes with the biggest smile on her face and pulls her cell up snapping some selfies of the three of us together.

“Okay, got it, I think. Thank you guys, so much. You’ve made me so happy.”

“Anything for our biggest fan, right Zaria?” Danger says wrapping his arm around my shoulders like we’re the best of friends, and believe it or not it’s actually comforting.

“Exactly, have a good day, Hazel.”

“Thanks again, guys.”

“You’re welcome, honey,” I reply as Danger drags me off down toward the great big double doors of the radio station. The security guards are trying to usher us inside, and we’re laughing at their bossy tones.

“Thanks for coming over to have a pic with Hazel and me, I think we might have made her day.”

He smiles. “It was worth it to see her smile. Plus, you’re damn easy to work with, Zaria. You’re not such the hard-ass you portray.”

“I’m not a hard-ass at all, really.” I giggle. “I’m actually quite different to that movie star I portray once you get to know me.”

Danger smirks. “We have two months to get to know each other, and I have a feeling we’ll be having a lot more Hazels in that time. So we better get along… right?”

I nod. We walk into the radio station where we are introduced to the producer. He tells us the interview will go for around ten minutes and they will talk primarily to me and Danger about how we liked working together, the chemistry, and then they will play a couple of the band’s songs in between. The other guys will be there, but won’t get to talk as the focus will be on Danger and me as the headliners.

I glance over to Nate to check if this is something the band knew about, but the look on Ryan’s face makes is clear they did not. Chewing on my bottom lip we slip into place as the others sit in the back of the room away from the soundboards and mics. I feel terrible for them like I’m stepping on their toes. But I was brought in to promote them so that’s what I’ll do, to the best of my ability anyway.

 

***

 

The interview goes without a hitch. Danger and I got along swimmingly bouncing off each other like we’ve been friends for eons. It was a natural conversation and nothing felt forced or fake. I actually felt genuine when I was talking about how much I’m enjoying my time with Danger and Recoil, and I think that came across perfectly during the interview.

We all head out of the studio, Olly thanks the host and the producer as Nate comes to my side.

“You were great,” he whispers in my ear.

I smile up at him and breathe a sigh of relief. I’m glad he approves. “Thank you, but I meant everything I said. I wasn’t playing a part in there.”

“You weren’t?”

Reaching out and touching his arm, I smile. “No. I really do enjoy being around you guys. Sure it hasn’t been smooth sailing with the girls, but the guys are easy. There’s no need to make up stories about liking you all ‘cause I do. One a little more than the others, though,” I say raising my eyebrows up and down insinuatingly.

He chuckles. “Only a little more?” He uses his fingers to measure the distance.

“Can’t play blatant favorites now, can I?” I tease.

“Personally, I think you should. No, I think you definitely should.” He steps in closer wrapping his arm around my waist. I go to lean in to kiss him, but someone clears their throat next to us.

“Sorry guys, technically you’re in public. So, ahh... PDA’s are a no, no,” Tillie says with a sympathetic frown.

Nate pulls back and sighs. “Fuck! Sorry, Tillie. This might be harder than we thought.”

She nods looking around obviously to see if any radio personnel saw our little encounter. “It will be hard, but you’ll get the hang of it. Just lucky no one saw but me.”

“Yeah. Sorry again, Till,” Nate says.

“It’s all good, let’s go back to the bus. Then you guys can kanoodle all you like.”

Nate chuckles. “Did you really just say kanoodle?”

“Yes, now let’s go!”

“Yes, ma’am.”

We stride out of the studio, the fans are still here. I wave to Hazel and she smiles at me widely, but I rush past the crowd onto the bus. Nate follows me on, and once we’re safely behind the tinted windows he pulls me to him and kisses me passionately. I melt into his arms and kiss him back just as ardently. I’m not sure why we need each other right now, but I kiss him for all he’s worth. Until loud cheering forces us to break apart. We notice Ryan making a fuss over us with his usual slurping noises and what looks like he’s making love to his hand. I laugh shaking my head as Nate holds me to him.

“Am I gonna have to listen to you two banging below us all the time?” Ryan asks.

Nate rolls his eyes.

“Shut up, Ry, that’s what headphones are for,” Tillie chides.

I gasp as she winks at me. Sex with Nate in the next two months hadn’t crossed my mind, especially on a tour bus with seven other people.

Fuck!

“Hey relax. We don’t have to do that. Not if you’re uncomfortable, Ria,” Nate says seeming to know what I’m thinking.

I turn to face him and he smiles at me so warmly it melts my heart. “I just… faking it on a set is easy, but having an audience for the real thing scares the shit out of me, Nate.”

He grabs my hands and his thumbs trail along my skin. “We don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with, Ria. I’m not the forcing type, okay babe? We can sit this out. I can wait as long as it takes.”

Nodding, I smile. “Thank you.”

The others climb up on the bus and the driver closes the doors.

“Everyone here?” Olly asks.

“Yep,” Tillie replies.

“Let’s roll then,” Olly says as everyone starts to take their seats.

Nate wraps his arm around my neck pulling my head onto his shoulder. “Don’t stress, Ria.”

I lean into his side feeling ease at his words. I know Nate won’t pressure me into anything I don’t want, and I think as long as I can ease tensions with Lunar, I’m sure this little tour is going to be quite comfortable indeed.