Zaria moved over to sit alongside me on my sun lounge and now we’re deep in tutoring. Her method of picture word association is definitely helping. It seems to be manipulating the word into something that’s not so intimidating or that I can’t decipher. I’m seeing the letters more like images rather than letters or words and it seems to be paying off. I’ve already chosen a word correctly three times so far without the aid of the pictures and I feel like I’m making really great progress.

“Nate, you’re doing so well. You’ve done so much better today than I could have possibly imagined you’d do, and you’ve finished three lessons worth of work in one. I’m so proud of you!” Her leg slightly touches mine as she leans into my side with a friendly bump. I turn, looking at her and she glances back at me. We both still, looking into each other’s eyes. Swallowing hard as nervous energy flickers between us, I peek down to her lips as she parts them infinitesimally and our breathing quickens. My heart rate spikes while the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, then her eyes blink slowly as she takes a deep breath and looks away from me breaking the tension.

I clear my throat taking in some much-needed oxygen and stare out over the crystal clear pool. “We should go for a dip?” I suggest and she smiles.

“Yes, we should.”

Zaria stands abruptly and pulls off her sarong leaving her in her bikini and she strolls over to the sandy shallow end. I jump up and pull off my shirt, leaving me in my swimming trunks as Zaria looks back at me trying to hide her smirk. As I stand there I flex just a little bit, but not enough to make it obvious. She glances at me sideways. I know she’s checking me out and I bite my lip trying to hide my smirk while watching her watching me.

She giggles softly while looking away and then turns stepping into the water. Being the depraved bastard that I am, I can’t stop my mind from hoping that her white bikini will turn see-through in the clear blue liquid, then I mentally slap myself for being a pervert.

Zaria glides into the water and I follow, trying so hard not to watch her ass as I move in behind her. The water is warm and feels great on my skin. It glistens and gleams in the midday sun and rays sparkle shimmering light off her body. The effect causes Zaria to light up giving her that angelic look I love. She wades in a little further so the water is just above her tits and I move in next to her as we stand there in the middle of the pool.

“The water is so refreshing,” I say.

She smiles. “I love this pool, I spend most of my time out here.”

“I can see why. Plus, the water shows off your assets,” I tease with a wink.

She scoffs like she’s offended but then finishes it with a giant smirk. Then her hands flow through the water suddenly causing a ripple of liquid to spray up and splash me right in the face.

Shaking my head to rid it of the droplets I laugh, and then open my eyes and narrow them at her.

“Don’t you dare, artist!” she warns.

“Hey, payback’s a bitch,” I say and splash her with a massive wave of water. She screams joyfully as her hair flattens, soaking wet and she pulls a sour expression.

“You’re gonna pay for that!” She then lunges and before I have time to think, she’s on me and pushing me under the water. I laugh, but with my mouth closed as she’s basically jumping on me. I don’t mind, and even though she’s trying to drown me she is touching me and it’s making me feel more alive than I’ve felt for years.

After a few seconds, I grab her around the waist and pull her under with me. Opening my eyes, I look to see her eyes open too and a bright smile plastered on her face. Our eyes lock and a moment passes between us. We’re under the water staring at each other and the looks we’re sending each other could set this pool on fire.

Without warning, something in her clicks and she sticks her tongue out at me then uses all her force to shove me in the chest. I’m startled by her swift turn as I’m forced back from her and she swims away from me and bobs up from below the surface. I realize I too need air, so I swim up to see Zaria laughing and she begins to swim away from me like she’s playing a game.

I don’t get it.

We go from smoldering to playful in a few seconds.

It seems like she doesn’t want any seriousness between us at all.

But the way she’s looking back at me and laughing I can tell she wants me to join in her game.

Who am I to deny her?

So I plaster on a happy face rather than my confused one and take chase, swimming after her.

“When I catch you you’re in big trouble, Miss Shafir,” I call out and she giggles.

“If you catch me, Mister Levine,” she replies as she swims around and heads back to the shallow end.

After a few strokes I begin the chase and gain on Zaria pretty quickly approaching her as we reach the middle of the pool. My hands wrap around her waist and I pull her to me. She lets out a fake scream as I spin her around, and she throws her head back in a fit of laughter while I hold her to me tightly.

“No escaping now,” I tease.

Her whole body is riddled with laughter as she wraps her arms around my neck and her eyes come back in line with mine. She’s so beautiful, every inch of her screams flawless beauty. Her sparkling doe eyes, her chestnut hair even when it’s soaking wet, the slight flush in her cheeks, her supple full lips, her curvaceous but tiny frame, everything about her is stunning and I have no idea how she’s single. She is amazing, any man who lands her is tremendously lucky. My cock is aching from simply staring at her.

Her laughter dies down to small giggles as she looks at me. I give Zaria a smile as her legs wrap around my waist and I basically hold her to me in the pool. This right here is all my fantasies come to life. My heart is racing as I stare and take in all her beauty. She’s everything I could possibly want, but I honestly have no idea if she wants me in return.

Swallowing hard, I glance into her eyes once more and her giggles dim to silence as her breathing hitches and she stares back at me. Tension fills the air while she chews down on her bottom lip. A surge so strong pulses through me almost causing me to lose my balance while a buzz crackles and sizzles between us, sending shockwaves through the pool.

Zaria’s eyes glisten and sparkle as I stare into them and it makes me want to kiss her so badly. So I inch closer testing the boundaries. Her breathing hitches as she watches me move in. She tilts her head and her lips part as her eyes shoot down to my mouth. Zaria’s tongue darts out licking her bottom lip and my heart, no shit, literally skips a beat.

Getting ready to kiss her for the first time, I inch closer and closer. I’m merely an inch away—my heart’s pounding, electricity’s surging around us like a tornado—when she takes a deep breath, turns her head and pulls back effectively stopping me from going further.

My heart sinks as I pause where I am, taking a second for my heart to restore its correct rhythm. Then I take a breath, pulling back to fake a smile.

“I’m sorry… I just… think we… should have some food,” she says the last part quickly bordering on curtly.

Raising my eyebrow at her avoidance of the topic I say, “Yeah, sure.” I release her and she unwraps her legs from around my waist while clearing her throat, then she starts swimming over to the shallow end of the pool. I continue to stand here for a second longer than I should, trying to gather myself.

I went for the kiss and she blatantly refused me.

She just isn’t that into me.

Maybe I need to accept that.

Clenching my eyes shut I swallow hard trying to compose myself then I nod my head once and open my eyes turning and walking out of the pool.

We both head over to the sun lounges where towels are draped over the back and start drying off. Neither of us speaks a word. My shoulders are tense and I notice hers are too. The awkward silence speaks volumes about the tension between us, and I wonder if I should just leave when she turns toward me.

“I’ll get us some drinks.”

I nod. Okay, so she doesn’t want me to go, that’s a good sign I suppose.

Zaria walks over to the bar fridge and grabs another beer and she pours herself some sort of fruity looking thing, adding a fucking straw, of course. She walks over, hands it to me and as I take it our fingers connect and I don’t miss the fact that she gently slides her finger against mine. It’s a kind gesture, but a fucking confusing one. Taking the beer from her hand, I take a long gulp needing something to help me calm down.

Zaria looks to me and sighs. “You know… Zaria is my full name and stage persona, but all my family and really close friends call me Ria.”

I take a sip of my beer. “That’s pretty.”

“It is… I’d like you to call me Ria, Nate.”

Warmth fills my chest and my lips tip up into a genuine smile feeling that perhaps she does like me more than she’s letting on. But I’m not getting my hopes up. She rejected me for a reason, I have to remember that.

“Okay… Ria it is. Thanks.”

She nods and leans in writing her name on a notepad as I sit down on the sun lounge next to her. She hands the notepad to me, and I nod taking it and a pencil and proceed to draw a dove as my picture reference for the word Ria. She sits back watching me as I continue to doodle on a free page of the notepad.

“You’re really good at drawing, you know that? You actually are an artist.”

Nodding, I glance at her. “I designed all my tattoos.”

She purses her lips and tries to hide her smile. “I’m impressed. Can you draw something else for me?”

Suddenly, I’m filled with a sense of excitement. Drawing gives me an intense feeling, other than music it’s a real passion and no one has ever asked me to draw for them. So Ria wanting me to sketch something for her excites me.

“Sure.”

All the awkwardness from before seems to have ebbed and now we’re back to being us again as I sit back and create some artwork. Zaria lays back on her sun lounge soaking up the sunlight waiting for me to finish as she sips on her fruity drink and orders her chef to make us a salad.

After being out in the sun for a while and me doodling, Ria turns to me. “We should go watch a movie in the theater room.”

“You have a theater room?”

“Don’t you?” she replies.

“Umm… no.”

She grabs my hand leading me inside her mansion. “Well c’mon then, I’ll show you mine.”

Shaking my head, I take a breath remembering how wealthy she is and follow her inside the mansion and off to the left where we walk under the stairs and into a darkened room. She flicks on the lights and it’s basically a small cinema. There’s rows of recliner chairs with small tables in between, and then at the front of the room on the wall is a giant white screen the size of a cinema screen. I look up to see a projector, not like the normal type you’d find in a home theater room, no, this is massive and it’s hanging from the ceiling.

I shake my head. This is crazy.

“Wow,” I simply say as Ria chuckles and drags me further inside.

“What do you wanna watch? Not one of mine, though,” she exclaims and I laugh.

“What about Finding Nemo?”

She cocks her head to the side with a half-smile. “Wasn’t expecting that. More of a horror or thriller or maybe a comedy, but definitely wasn’t expecting Disney… from you.”

Grinning, I shrug. “I’m full of surprises. Plus, I like the message of never give up in it. I kinda live by Dory’s motto of Just Keep Swimming, it helps me survive in this world.”

She frowns and pats my shoulder. “There’s so much to you Nate Levine that’s deeper than people know. I wish they saw you how I see you.”

Tilting my head, I furrow my brows. “How do you see me?”

“As a broken but kind man that everyone steps on. And you let them because deep down you feel like you’re not worthy.”

Shifting uncomfortably, I swallow hard. “You got all that by looking at me?”

“I see a lot of the old me in you, Nate. You’re worth more than you think you are.”

I scoff. “I’m just your typical dumbass drummer.”

“No! You’re a passionate artist who has no sense of self-worth. I’m going to change that. Show everyone how worthy you are.”

I exhale. “Why are you being so nice to me?”

“Like I said… I see my old self in you. Before Ria… became Zaria. You’re a decent man and I want people to see you for you.”

“Why don’t you let people see you for you?”

“As in Ria not Zaria?” I nod and she sighs. “Because of Patrick, my stepdad. He taught me to be Zaria and I owe him so much… my whole career basically. I feel like if I stop being Zaria, it would feel like a slap in the face to Patrick.”

“I guess. But you don’t have to be so dramatic, Ria. You could be less diva and a little more Ria. I think people would warm to Ria more than your Zaria persona. Honestly, I think they’d respect Ria more than that diva personality. People generally roll their eyes to the diva mentality, don’t they?”

She exhales. “It’s hard, though. When I get into that mode it’s difficult to switch off the bitch. I hate being her, but I don’t know how to be any different in public because it’s so ingrained in me now. It’s like a habit that I can’t break.”

I nod. “I get it, but I think you should try. How about you start with my friends, they’d appreciate Ria instead of the diva. I know that for a fact.” I give her a warm smile.

She nods. “I’ll try.”

Ria pulls out the Nemo disc and places it into the DVD player to project onto the screen. We sit in the front row on two recliners and watch the movie, laughing and talking all the way through it.

It’s quite late and as the movie finally finishes we get up to leave the theater room.

“I should probably go,” I say, seeing as I’ve been here all day.

Ria purses her lips like she’s pouting because she’s sad I’m leaving.

That thought makes me happy.

“Thank you for today,” I tell her then lean in to kiss her cheek.

She smiles grabbing my hand and gives it a gentle squeeze. “Was my pleasure. We have to do it again… and soon. Okay?” Ria offers as we walk to the front door.

I nod and smile in answer.

The urge to kiss her again is strong, but I figure two kisses on the cheek is a little excessive. So I simply turn and head for my car.

“Bye Nate,” she calls out.

Swinging around I see her waving, so I return the wave looking at her through the darkness of the night sky. She’s standing in her doorway and the lights from inside shine from behind her lighting her up with a halo glow.

I sigh.

I’m so done for with this chick.

Shaking my head, I slide into my car and start the engine. Before I take off I wave once more and drive toward the gate. It opens automatically and the security guards nod—I’d forgotten they were even here. Putting my foot down on the accelerator I head home from the Hollywood Hills.

 

***

 

Arriving home, I walk in through the garage to see Matt barbecuing dinner on the grill. It smells delicious, and I see he’s made enough for me which is great seeing as I’m starving.

“Where the hell have you been all day?” he asks.

I figure lying is probably not such a good idea. Plus, Matt can always tell when I’m bullshitting, so I tell him the truth. “I spent the day at Zaria’s mansion.”

Matt gawks and then laughs loudly like he thinks I’m joking.

“Is it so hard to believe?”

Matt stops laughing and squishes his eyebrows together like he can’t quite grasp what I’ve just told him. “Um… no. Just surprising… I guess. So, what’s her place like?”

“Well, I’d say simply amazing. We had lunch and went swimming, then watched Nemo—”

“You made an Oscar-winner watch a kid’s movie?”

I laugh and nod. “She loved it!”

Suddenly, my cell beeps with a text message. I wince and pull it out, never knowing if I’m going to be able to read it or not. I usually have to get Matt to read my text messages to me.

The text is from Ria but it doesn’t say anything. It’s just a symbol of a clown fish. I smile wide and send back a picture of a dove.

Matt shakes his head. “Weird,” is all he says as he continues cooking on the grill.

“So what happened at the office today?” I ask.

Matt shrugs. “Not a lot. Danger and Lunar were talking about their wedding plans… a lot.”

Tensing slightly at the thought of Lunar marrying Danger, Matt looks at me and sighs. “Nate, you gotta let that shit go.”

Sighing, I slump my body. “I know, I just don’t want Danger to hurt her.”

“He loves her too much, dude. She’s not like the others, he’ll never hurt her.”

Groaning, I run my hand through my hair. “He thought he really loved Ella, too. But he still cheated on her when they did the whole long distance thing. He’s scum when it comes to women, you know that.”

“Nate, let it fucking go. Danger’s happy. Let Lunar go… go after Zaria even though she’s way out of your league.”

Tensing up, I huff. “Why do you have to do that?”

“What?” he asks.

“Always put me down? Fuck! It’s no wonder I’m always such a snickety dick.”

Matt pulls his head back in shock. “Dude, I’m sorry. You know I love you, bro!”

“I hate that I’m this way!”

He furrows his brows. “What way?”

“Stupid!”

“What? You’re not stupid—”

“I can’t read, Matt. What other twenty-two-year-old do you know that can’t fucking read?”

Matt reaches out wrapping his arm around my shoulders strongly in a man embrace. “Hey, I know you struggle with this, and if you want I can hire a tutor again to help?”

Shaking my head, I pull back and sigh. “Nah, I’m good. Just had a moment… sorry.”

Matt gnaws on his bottom lip while looking me in the eyes. “Maybe you should see a counselor?”

“Fuck off, I’m fine!” I grab the food from the grill and take it inside. I want to eat quickly so I can go to bed and sleep off the negativity I’m feeling about me being less than stupid and the rejection from Ria today.

Fuck, I’m a loser!