Claire
Things were getting weird at work. There was something going on between me and Rick. I wasn’t really sure what it was, but I was sure that I liked it. I felt for him more than I had felt for another soul. I was falling in love. There was no two ways around it. No matter how much I had tried to keep my heart away, I was unable to do so. I wanted him for more than just a night or some fun. I knew that he wanted me as well, but there was something holding us back.
That something was me and the fact that I had waited so long for my first time. I wanted everything to be perfect and now I was starting to wonder if I would even recognize it when it was right in front of my face. I didn’t think that I would find a better man in general or a better man to be my first. I was in love and though I was sure it wasn’t mutual, I knew that he cared for me. He would make my first time memorable and the more I thought about it, the harder it was to be around Rick without playing it all out in my head.
So when I heard his voice at the door, I jumped a little in my seat and turned around to greet him. “What can I do for you Sir?”
He had a smile on his face that I loved to see, but it usually meant that he was about to cause a ruckus. He loved to start trouble and there was no telling what he had up his sleeve.
“What?”
Rick closed the door behind him and the man looked like he was going to burst any minute. I was a little thrown off with the fact that he had shut the door. It was usually open when we were talking and the first thought that came to my mind was that he was going to kiss me again. I wanted to tell myself that I didn’t need his kiss, but I did in fact want him to kiss me so badly. I could already feel his lips on mine and I closed my eyes to let it happen.
“What are you doing Claire? I need to speak to you.”
I opened my eyes a little embarrassed and realized that he wasn’t here to kiss me. His dark eyes were glittering at me and I could have sworn that he knew what I had thought. It didn’t make me feel any better and i just sort of groaned to myself. What the hell was wrong with me? Why was I so in need of him when I knew that it was wrong in so many ways? It really didn’t make sense to me.
“Shoot.”
“Well I don’t really want to do it here. Why don’t we go out for lunch or dinner? How is your schedule looking today?”
I looked at the calendar at the edge of my desk and I could see that I was booked for the rest of the day, most likely the rest of the week. “Tonight works better than lunch. I have a client that I was going to meet at the Willopaw, if you want to go there with me. Or I guess I can reschedule.” I didn’t want to, but Rick looked like whatever it was that he was bursting to tell me was important and I didn’t want to keep him waiting. I also didn’t want him to be alone with me if I could find a person to be a buffer in between us.
Rick wasn’t going for it though. He had the look in his eyes to be alone and I tried to ignore the sudden awakening of my body. Every time he was around, it was as if I was waiting for him. It was a hard feeling to shake, but one that I desperately wanted to. It didn’t seem right to feel this way, not knowing what he was feeling in return. While I tried to remind myself that he was a player in all senses of the word, I couldn’t stop loving him.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
“What, what do you mean?”
“I don’t know. You are not paying me any mind. I asked you something almost a minute ago and you are just looking past me with this goofy grin on your face. Are you okay?”
I was embarrassed, but I was perfectly fine. That was the whole reason that I didn’t like to be around him alone. My mind started to wander and it wasn’t long before I was fantasizing about what could be. It was a lot to think about and even now, as he looked at me like I had an addled brain I was unable to keep the focus on his words. My attention was on his lips and how they moved to form each word. I couldn’t help myself.
“Yes, I am fine Rick. I just have a lot on my plate. I can meet you around seven for dinner if you would like.” It felt strange that I could dictate our time together, but I knew that I could. He was the one that had heaped my plate up so high on the work side of things. There was also something else between us on the personal side and I had learned that he gave me far more leeway that he did with other employees.
“Good, that will work. I will see you in a couple of hours. I will meet you downstairs.”
I nodded that was a good idea and waited for him to leave before I let out the last rush of air from my lungs. Something was going on and the fact that he wouldn’t even give me a hint of what it was about, made me nervous. I was worried about what was going to happen tonight when I meet him. My only hope would be that there were enough people there to keep us occupied and off the subjects that would cause our relationship to get even more strained than it already was.
***
Something told me that I want to dress up for this dinner date. It felt like a date even though it was my boss and he had not said what it was about. I wanted to look pretty and when I saw his eyes light up and the look on his face, I was more than happy to give him the same smile back. He looked handsome in his suit and it appeared that I wasn’t the only one that wanted to look my best. My hand wanted to push through his dark locks of hair. He was stunning to look at and I was the one that had to finally break eye contact because I couldn’t take any more of his intensity.
“You look amazing as always Claire. I didn’t think you would have time to go home before meeting me.”
“I wanted to make time. You look good as well.”
“Have you been here before?”
I didn’t have to look at the menu to gather the price of this place. It was not a place that I would have been able to afford, so it was a treat to even be here.
“I don’t think I have found the time yet. Is it any good?” From the looks of the place, it better be.
“Yes, I think you will enjoy it. It will always hold a special place in my heart because I have been here for so many major events in my life. This is the place that I associate with celebrations and tonight I am determined for it to be more of the same.”
“Well I am glad you brought me here.”
The hostess saw us coming into the main area and knew Rick by name. He wasn’t joking when he said that he was here a lot. They must have been waiting for him because he called ahead, because we were whisked off to a table rather quickly. Or maybe I just wasn’t used to going out with men like Rick. I bet that everywhere he went, he was treated like this. Like some kind of god because of all of his money. While it was wrong in some ways, it wasn’t that hard to live with on the other side of things. We got a great table in the back with plenty of privacy and we had wine and appetizers out on the table before we could even order them. Everything was going so perfectly.
“So what is it that you wanted to talk about Rick? You were acting a little strange earlier and you have me wondering what is going on.”
“Well Claire, I don’t really know how to say it. Ever since you have come into my life, you have turned it all upside down.”
That wasn’t what I was expecting and I must have been frowning because he was looking at me as if he had messed it all up.
“Sorry, that didn’t come out right. I am nervous and you know I am not nervous very often. I don’t deal well with it.”
“There is no reason to be nervous Rick. We have talked about all kinds of things. This is no different. Just spit it out and we will both feel a whole lot better.”
He was battling with himself and it made me extremely curious to wonder what it was that had him so jazzed up. I could tell that whatever it was on his mind was important enough that he wanted it to go right. I sat still and waited for him to collect himself while I took a few nibbles on an appetizer and took a few sips of my wine. Everything tasted good, so it wasn’t hard to take my time, while he took his.
“You are right. I am building it up in my head and that is why it is so hard to just get it out.”
It sounded like he was ready to move on, but it still wasn’t forthcoming as easily as I would have thought it would be.
“So what I want to ask you is, Claire will you marry me?”
He was not on his knees, but there was a ring box open in his hand. It was not something I was prepared for and if I was honest with myself, I was confused. What?
I said the last question out loud and his smile faltered a little bit on his perfect face.
“You don’t want to marry me?”
“Of course I want to marry you Rick. You are perfect in every way. I just don’t get why you want to marry me. You could have anyone that you wanted….”
“All I want is you though Claire. You are the first thing I think of when I wake up in the morning and you are the very last thing that keeps me up at night. I love you and I don’t want anyone else.”
It was all that I wanted to hear and more. His eyes were showing all of the love that he had for me and I could see my own misty set reflected off of his. “Do you really want to marry me Rick?”
He chuckled and I saw relief wash over him. “I would love to Claire. If you will have me.”
I leaned over and kissed him on his lips. It was better than it was in my fantasies and a part of me knew that this was how it was all supposed to be. I loved him, had loved him for a while and for him to feel the same way, felt unreal. It felt like there was so much more to us and now we were going to get to see what all is expected from us.