Steve

I got off of the phone with Carol and I had to wonder what it was that she wanted. She wasn’t a patient woman to begin with, but it seemed like now it was even worse. There was a part of me that wondered if she was going to break up with me. My heart hurt even thinking about it and it was the last thing that I wanted to happen. We hadn’t been going out that long, but it was the longest relationship that I had ever been in.

“Steve, are you going to take that call on 3? You know that the boss doesn’t like it when we leave the customers on hold.”

Waving Dave off, I tried to tone down the sudden aggravation. He was the type that stayed in everyone else’s business and it was usually mine that he was into. It drove me crazy and my fist was still tight when I answered the call.

“Yes Mr. Weimer. I understand that you are anxious, but that is how the stock market works. You have to handle a little risk. I wouldn’t put your money anywhere that I wouldn’t put my own.”

“I know that Steve, I am just watching this number fall and it is making me sick to my stomach.”

“Have a little faith Scott. It is all going to work out. I see the numbers. I am going to buy some more up for the short time once it hits 15. Then you will see. Give me 24 hours and everything will start to make sense and I am sure you are going to feel better.”

“That is all of the money I have Steve. I need to know that everything is going to be okay.”

I told him again that it was. I knew that he had a lot of money on the line, but I still didn’t like to be questioned about any one trade. He had given me his money to work with, that was a lot of trust, but now he wasn’t so sure and I wasn’t so sure that I wanted to keep making him money.

“I can sell your position now, but you are going to take a loss.”

“What about the fact that it is going lower?”

I couldn’t tell him that I knew some information that was about to come out and the stocks were going to take a huge rally once the company’s big contract was announced. I almost wanted him to tell me to pull out, just so he could feel like an ass when he found out that it was all under control. I didn’t like the loss of confidence on his part. It made me mad more than anything else.

“You do what you want. If you leave it with me, this is what I am going to do. If you want to pull out, cut your loss, but don’t call me tomorrow.”

“Steve, I didn’t mean it like that.”

“It doesn’t matter Scott. Tell me what you want me to do?”

“I want you to make me money.”

“That is what I have done for several years. Nothing has changed. Stop getting spooked. I have to go.”

I didn’t wait for an answer on the other end. It didn’t matter what it was that he wanted. I knew that it was going to go my way. I had studied the stocks and companies they represented for too long. Not to mention the steady stream of insider information that I got.

The call irked me and I thought about taking off early to see Carol. She was just what I needed after a stressful day like today. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to see her, but I had a feeling that it wasn’t going to be good news. It was never good news when a woman wanted to see me out of the blue. I had to take a break to get my anxiety down. When it came to stocks, I had more confidence than sense, but when it came to women, Carol in particular, I was afraid that anything I did would make her leave me. She already had way more control over me than I think she would ever realize.

***

“It is good to see you baby.”

She kissed me on the lips after she opened the door. I could tell right away that something was different. Carol was kissing me like she had the first time months ago. There was passion and need in the kiss, both things that I wasn’t ready for. I didn’t do well going down that route. It made everything too intense and I pulled away before more could happen. I felt like it was going to get out of hand if I let it.

“It is good to see you too Carol. How was your day?”

The woman took my coat as I moved into her house. It was clean and tidy like always, but now the place was filled with the smell of dinner.

“Pretty good. I just missed you today Steve. How was your day? You sounded a little stressed out when I called earlier.”

“Oh, it’s nothing. Clients are just getting scared, but I am used to it by now.”

She didn’t even pretend to care what it was I did for a living. I didn’t blame her, it wasn’t the most riveting work, but there was a big part of me that loved the chaos and the risk. The rest of my life was so safe and secure, it was nice to have some time that it wasn’t.

“Well you are going to prove them wrong, I am sure of it.”

I agreed with her, but I was too busy looking at the red dress she was wearing. It was shorter than usual and like her kiss, there was a way that she was swaying her hips that I swore she was doing on purpose. I was seeing a whole other side of Carol and I wasn’t sure what to think of it. She had always been okay with taking things slow, but if I didn’t know any better, I would think that all of that had changed. Maybe she wasn’t interested in doing it my way anymore. Here I was worried about her wanting to leave me, but it looks like it was because of something altogether different. If she was a cat, she would have been in heat and I couldn’t stop the reaction from her need. It was palpable in the air.

“I will. Um, it smells good.”

“I am sure you will like it. It is one of my grandmother’s best recipes.”

I couldn’t really think, all of the blood draining from my body. I didn’t want to go down this road with her. Everything would change and it would all be ruined. I liked it how it was and even though I was solid as a rock, I moved into the kitchen away from the beautiful woman that was ready to give me everything that kept me up at night. That seemed wrong in so many ways.

Moving to the stove, I opened the lid to see what it was that smelled so good. I couldn’t identify half of it, but it did smell good and I hoped that it tasted half as good as the aroma suggested.

“So what is this?”

Carol looked put-off a little bit and I had a feeling that it was because of the fact that I wasn’t paying attention to her hot body. She moved with such determination that it was obvious that she wanted me to notice. I did, far more than I wished I had, but that didn’t matter. What mattered was me keeping my cool and not putting my hands where they so desperately wanted to be.

“Just a stew. I don’t think it really has a name. She made it every Sunday after church. Just kind of tradition that I thought you might like. Are you ready to eat?”

Her eyes tried to find out what was wrong. She wanted to ask me if I didn’t like the dress, or her, something, but I looked away like I had many times before and told her that I was famished. I was in desperate need of many things that I was sure she would have no problem satisfying.

We sat down and it was quiet for a while. Carol told me about her friend at work Mona, the one that I heard a lot about, but she sounded like a floosy. It was hard to imagine how the two had become friends when they were so far away from each other in actions and attitude. Mona sounded like a mess and even  though I knew that Carol had been wild before we met, I shuddered to think of her as bad as her friend.

After dinner, there was dessert and I was thankful for a little more time. I had dodged sexy looks all night, ones that were rather hard to ignore. Carol was practically begging for it and it was becoming harder to concentrate with the stiffness below the belt. Her attention went to my bulge several times, so much that I had to turn my body away as to hide it. After dinner, there was nowhere left to hide and when she suggested I stay for a movie, I desperately tried to figure out a way to tell her no and not get her mad.

“I have an early morning Carol. I don’t think that would be a good idea.”

“Come on Steve. We can watch anything you want. I just want to sit next to you and just be together. Doesn’t that sound nice to you?”

“It does, I just don’t know if it is a good idea. You know I have to get up early for work and tomorrow is a day I can’t be late for. There is a lot of money on the line.”

“Come on, please.”

She looked at me like she was going to cry or she was about to lose herself if I didn’t say yes. How could I say anything else? I knew it was going to get me in trouble, but I didn’t care.

It didn’t take long for her desires to be known. She never was one to beat around the bush and this was no exception. She leaned her head against my chest and then onto my lap. Her eyes were half-closed and she reached down to pull me to her. The kiss was like the one at the door, full of demand and it left no room for more time. It was going to have to be now or she may not be mine anymore. 

“Are you sure you want to do this Carol? We don’t have to. I enjoy just being with, being around you and doing things.”

‘”I want to Steve, so badly.”

“What changed?”

She sat up a little and propped her head on her hand. “What do you mean?”

“Something is different today. You never call me like that at work and I don’t know, it is just a different vibe now.”

“I just want you Steve, that’s all. I have needs and it has been a long three months with no real physical touch.”

“We touch all of the time.”

“You know what I mean.”

I did know what she meant, but I was trying to prolong the inevitable. I wanted it to stay just the way it was. I didn’t want it to get awkward and the obsessive feelings to come back that I knew came with it.

“I guess I do. You are talking about sex?”

She shook her head and told me that I was right. “Most of the time it is the guy that can’t control himself.”

“I don’t have much control in that department.”

“You could have fooled me.”

“I have tried really hard not to show that side to you. I like it the way things are now.”

“I want more Steve. I need more from you than just companionship. I want you to make love to me and show me how much you care.”

It was those words that made the decision I had been fighting for so long. Her voice was small and ever so appealing. How could I say no to a request like that?