Dante
A horse being struck had changed everything and I wasn’t sure how the hell we got to this. When we got back to the ranch, Cece wasn’t even talking to me. She got out of the truck quickly and went into the ranch and up to her room. I should have followed her, but she had made it clear the agonizing ride back that she needed some space. It had all tail-spun out of control and the more I thought about it, the more confused I was.
In the end, it wasn’t really the horse that had ruined it all. Working with Cliff had been eating at me for some time, but I felt like I couldn’t say anything about it because I had to work with Barb many days. We had the same past that I was worried about with Cece and Cliff, but it was different because I knew that no matter how much Barb tried, I was never going to go back to her. I was worried that maybe under the right scenario Cece would go back to Cliff. I think it all came down to me being worried about her straying. It wasn’t something that I really thought about, until I had to be around Cliff. I wanted Cece to tell me that I had nothing to worry about, not to volunteer to deal with him herself.
I went back to my room and realized that I hadn’t stayed here for almost a month and the few times that I had, Cece was with me. Now it was smaller, colder and just a bit dreary.
I tried to shake it off. Why the hell was I worried about any of this? Here I was all worried about everything and she didn’t even care. It aggravated to me to no end and pushed me to make the decision that I was most likely going to regret later. I felt like the old me was sadly not being represented enough. The old me wouldn’t have dealt with this kind of drama. I should just go to the bar and have a few drinks, think this all through. I had a feeling that it would make me feel better or at least give me a good enough buzz that I didn’t have to care anymore.
Getting a shower and then getting dressed, I went back outside and got in my truck. It was still a little early to start bar hopping, but I was in need of a drink, more than I was anything else. I looked up at the lit up window on the second floor of the ranch house and saw that her shades were drawn. She didn’t even care and apparently, I cared way too damn much.
I got in the truck and tried my best not to let my anger affect my speed. I didn’t want to race out of there and let her know I was mad. She knew and all it was going to do was make me regret showing that kind of emotion. If she didn’t care, neither was I.
***
I sat outside the bar for several minutes, trying to decide what the hell I was doing there. I knew it was a mistake, how could it not be? But the idea of Cece refusing to drop Cliff out of her life spurred me forward. I got out and moved towards the loud music that was blaring out of the building. It felt strange to be here after so long. Usually when I came, I would have one main thing on my mind, but not tonight. I certainly didn’t want to mess up what I had with Cece because I was convinced that she would come around. I was also convinced that she was the one for me, no matter how mad I was at the moment.
With that thought in mind, the atmosphere felt different to me. It was smoky and loud, with everyone chattering to each other. My eyes scanned the room and I saw a few lovelies that I had had before. I bypassed that area by the bar and decided that my time was going to be better spent with a drink in my hand. I needed to get inspired and think about what I was going to do with Cece. I wasn’t ready to throw in the towel over Cliff or anything else for that matter.
It left me in a weird position as several women started to hit on me. It was usually me that was the aggressor. I always zeroed in on whatever it was that I wanted and I made sure I had it, but now I was far more worried about consequences that I had never really thought about before. It was a new feeling and I found it easier than I thought I would have.
That is, until I heard a certain voice that I knew well.
“What are you doing around here Dante? I thought you were blissfully happy with your new girlfriend? Didn’t think I would see you here again.”
I turned to look at Barb. The young blonde was dressed up in clothes that would make any man’s heart race a little more and I was not the exception. The fact of the matter was that I hadn’t had any in a couple of days and while I had hoped for some lovemaking with Cece, it just hadn’t worked out that way and now my body was answering a call that it shouldn’t.
“Just getting a drink Barb, that’s all.”
She scoffed and sat down, even though she hadn’t been invited. There was a tawdry look in her eyes that I knew well, but that wasn’t why I was here. I had to keep telling myself that. Barb had always been so eager to please and I was sure by the expression on her face that she hadn’t changed a bit.
“Hmm, I don’t think you have ever come here for just a beer before. Are you really not looking for anything?”
I was the one agitated. “You still haven’t learned your lesson yet, have you?”
“What?”
“You already cheated with the boss’ boyfriend once before and I can’t believe you are going to try to do it again. You make no sense. You are lucky she didn’t fire you before. I would have.”
Barb made a fake pouty face. “You would really fire me? Even though we had all of those good times together?”
I didn’t remember much with her that didn’t involve the bedroom and even then it never extended after the act was actually finished. I pushed her out the door as soon as we were done and there was nothing else that I wanted to do now. All I could think about was Cece and Barb was just another distraction that I just didn’t need.
“Yes I would have fired you. It isn’t up to me though. Cece has too big of a heart.”
“No, I think it’s just because she can’t keep anyone there at the ranch. The way people talk about her, it is no surprise. The town is small and her antics get around.”
Again I had to temper my response. I knew that she was baiting me, but that didn’t seem to help anything when it came to my knee-jerk reaction. I didn’t care why she was pissing me off, I just knew that she was and she would look at me with this self-satisfied smile that really did me in.
“Why are you so hateful Barb? You didn’t used to be this way.”
“I want you back Dante. You are making a mistake with her and I don’t understand why you can’t see it. You have lost your way and I am just trying to help you remember who you are.”
I didn’t believe a thing she said. She wanted something more and maybe it was about sex, but I had a feeling that there was more to it. She would be acting this way for nothing. I just couldn’t see that.
“I know who I am Barb. People change. You were the one that cheating on me with that meat head, so I am not going to feel bad about this. You made your choice. Now you are going to have to live with it. Did you really think that he was going to take you with him?”
Now I was the one that was being rude and I tried not to, but it was hard, really hard. I knew that kicking the hornet’s nest was not a good idea. But I was never a smart man when it came to women. The woman sitting next to me was a silent testament to that.
“No, I didn’t, but I didn’t think he would drop me like I meant nothing. You guys just don’t really get what you do to women. You should. It would be easier for you.”
“I have learned a long time ago that nothing is ever easy with women.”
“Has Cecelia got you down? I don’t think I have ever seen you like this.”
It bothered me that she acted like she knew me. She was a fuck. That was it. I got her a job and I regretted it many times over since then. I wish I would have never met Barb, here at the bar, most likely the exact same spot that I am sitting in now.
“I am fine Barb. I just came here to get a drink. What are you doing here?”
She had a Cheshire cat grin on her face. “I am on the prowl.”
I should have known that it would be her answer. She was on the prowl when she found me and I felt sorry for any sap that wanted her. They would pay for it, more than they realized and I was sure that I wasn’t the only one that regretted meeting the petite blonde. She was beautiful, but still a disaster all the same.
“Well there are a lot of men that are looking at you Barb. You are wasting your time with me.”
“What if I want you though? Are you really going to tell me no Dante?”
I shook my head that I was, even though I wasn’t too sure about it. There was a part of me that wanted to take her to the bathroom and bang her brains out on the side of the stall for one of the bathrooms, but instead I just agreed with her. I could tell her no. I was a man and I could be stronger than many thought I was.
“You don’t need to waste your time on me Barb. I am not biting. I told you before that our last time was before I found you with Cliff. Even if we weren’t together, I don’t want to share you with the likes of him. No thanks.”
I saw her eyes flare and again I wondered if I was just setting myself up for failure. I knew messing with her was a problem, but the real problem was that I just didn’t want to keep it up. I wanted her to go away and I hoped that a clear answer and a little bluntness would go a long ways, but now I wasn’t so sure. She didn’t seem to be taking the hint, just getting more upset the more we talked.
“You don’t have to be mean Dante.”
“I am not trying to be mean Barb. I just want to drink my beer and be left alone. You can just keep it all to yourself. We are through. Never really were together and I have moved on. I suggest that you do the same thing. I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but you have to understand that I am not going to take this any further. I can’t and I don’t want to.”
It was about as nice as I was going to get about it, but by the look on her face, that wasn’t an acceptable answer. I wanted to get my point across, but I still wasn’t trying to hurt her feelings. I also didn’t want her as an enemy. I had enough of those and since she still did work at the ranch, her exit never even discussed anymore, I knew that I was going to have to keep my cool, no matter how hard it seemed to be to manage.
“Fine, Dante. It is your loss. I was trying to be nice to you, but since you want to be a jerk, I won’t bother you anymore.”
I know that I was supposed to feel bad and maybe in a way I did, but now all I could feel was relief that she had finally moved on. The girl was walking trouble and it was better for me to know it.
She was right though. I don’t know what I was doing here. I had never come for just a beer and after several more ladies came up to chat, I decided that I was just wasting my time here. Barb’s eyes followed me as I was leaving and I could feel the heat from them on the back of my neck. She was not a happy camper, but I hoped that tomorrow would be another day.
I had to go home and face the music. I still felt like I was right about how I felt about Cliff, but at the same time, it just isn’t worth it, not really if it meant that Cece and I were on the outs. What was the worst that could happen? She wasn’t going to leave me for him, but she very well may leave me if I keep this up. Cece was complicated and viciously independent. I had always admired that about her. Now it was time to embrace it, no matter how hard it really was.