Marcus

I was back at home after staying at Lucas’ for a week. I had insisted that I come home and now that I was coherent enough to really argue my case, I was back where I wanted to be. It was still a mess because of Melissa, but that was better than being somewhere strange. Lucas took good care of me and he took care of those that had shot at me and plotted against the Devils, but it was good to be home. I just needed to relax.

It hadn’t even been an hour that I was back when I heard the doorbell ring. Melissa was the only one that I knew that actually used it and my body tensed up with the thought of having to deal with her. I was just going to ignore it and once again I wished that the garage was empty enough that I could have slid my bike in there when I got back. Now she most likely knew that I was home and after a couple of more knocks, I had a feeling that she wasn’t going to give up.

“Marcus, I know you are in there. Open up. Is everything okay?”

It was not the high-pitched screechy voice of Melissa, but the low rasp that I associated with Angela. I loved her voice and though I would never admit it to a soul, I still had a recording from when we were together. It was a long time to have it, but it helped me to never forget the way she sounded, if that was even possible.

“Angela?”

“Yeah, open up. I have been coming over here for a week Marcus. We need to talk and I am getting the feeling that you are trying to avoid me.”

I chuckled for a minute, but it hurt too much. Getting up was still a task and since I was trying to clear my  mind more, I was taking less for pain and feeling more than I wanted to. It was easy to just dull the pain, but I needed to figure out a way to get through it with my mind still intact. I wasn’t at a hundred percent, but more than I had been in a while.

“Come in. The door should be unlocked.”

I never locked it when I was here except at night. Most of the people I knew just came in when they wanted to.

There was a few seconds of hesitation before I heard the door open slightly. I looked down at myself and realized that I looked a wreck. I felt like crap and the pair of shorts I was wearing was torn in several places. I had just thrown something on because it was comfortable. It was not the way that I wanted Angela to see me.

It was too late though. I knew she had seen me by the gasp that I heard from my bedroom door.

“Marcus! What happened to you?!”

Angela rushed to the bedside and moved to hug me. It wasn’t near what I expected and I didn’t even care that she was killing my side. To have her in my arms, to smell her again, was worth every ounce of pain that it caused. She squeezed a little tighter and it was only then that I couldn’t keep the groan in.

“Sorry, what happened?”

She stood up and looked at me with those damn eyes of hers. I didn’t know what to say or what to do. I just wanted to remember this moment as long as I could. God, I missed her and I didn’t think she would ever get just how much. How could she? If she felt the same she never would have left.

“It’s nothing.”

The bandage was bloody from moving around and I tried to cover it up with a sheet but it was puddled around my waist and I was laying on it.

“It doesn’t look like nothing Marcus. You look horrible.”

“Thanks.” The sarcasm didn’t help persuade her to think of doing anything differently. She was not going anywhere and instead of my attitude pushing her away, Angie just got a pity look on her face and sat down next to me.

“I am serious Marcus. What happened to you?”

“It’s nothing. Why are you worried about it?”

“Cause I care about you.” She stopped and looked away. It was the one thing that I had wanted to hear for longer than I wanted to mention. I wanted to hear she loved me again, something that used to be at the tip of her tongue when we were together. What would I have to do to get that back?

“It has been a long time Angela. We don’t even know each other anymore.”

Angie laughed a little. “I think you knew me better than anyone else in this world Marcus. Not a lot has changed with me. I see that you have changed though. This is new, the tattoos…”

“I was always like this Angela. Isn’t that why you left?”

She sat back a little further from me and it took a few moments to get her to look at me again. What I wouldn’t have given to know what it was she was thinking about.

“I didn’t leave because of you. I left because it was what had to happen.”

After all these years, I wanted a better answer. There was a little medication in my system and it seemed to not help my tongue stay still. I would have never asked her such things if I would have been sober. My pride would have stood in my way, but it was waning as she stared down at me. I just couldn’t hold it in. I wanted to know what the hell made her leave.

“And yet even all of these years later you can’t give me a real reason, can you?”

“It’s just complicated. I was young and I have already admitted that I wasn’t very bright, okay. It was a long time ago. What does it matter now?”

“It matters to me. It took me a long time to get over you Angie. A very long ass time and I always wondered.”

“It seems you have moved on just fine Marcus. What can I do for you? Are you hungry?”

She was not going to give me the answers that I wanted. I should have known better, but I was hopeful. The idea of food sounded good and it sidetracked me from what we were talking about.

“You still cook?”

“Yeah. You still eat like a caveman?”

I chuckled and then groaned at the resounding pain from the action. I had to remember that I wasn’t one hundred percent. I wouldn’t be for a while.

“I guess so. I forgot that you used to tell me that all of the time.”

“If I remember right, you wanted to subsist on steak and pizza.”

I nodded my head. The woman knew me better than Melissa ever could. I had always liked that Angie knew me so well and she accepted me. She didn’t try to change me, she just went with it. When she asked which one I wanted, I told her that I didn’t care. There was a feeling that came over me as she fussed over me. I could hear her in the kitchen and it wasn’t long before she had made a meal for me that was better than I had had in a while.

“Let me help you up so you can eat.”

She was eying the wound and I knew that she wanted to ask about it, but Angie wasn’t going to. She believed in space, even if she was going to force me to take her help. She saw something that needed attention and she did it. That was just the way she was and I wouldn’t have been able to tell her no if I wanted to.

I tried getting up to sit higher on my own, but the growl that came from me was unmistakable and was not preventable. It just hurt to move any muscle in my body and the action made me see spots behind my lids.

“You look really bad Marcus.”

“I know. I was shot.”

“Shot!?”

She almost dropped the steak dinner she had made me and I took it from her hands before she could. Another quick movement that I paid for in pain, but I didn’t want the ribeye to hit the floor. It had been a long time since Angie had cooked for me.

“Yes. I told you that it is not a big deal. Went in and didn’t do much damage. The Doc got it out and he says I will make a full recovery.”

She shook her head. “I hope that is a real doctor you went to.”

“Close enough. Are you going to give me that drink or not?”

“Here.” Angie looked at me sideways and again I could tell she was holding her tongue. For everything that had just been thrown at her, she seemed to be taking it all well.

“So is that where you have been the last week? In the hospital?”

“Something like that. I am surprised that you even noticed.”

“Well you do live next door.”

What she said was true, but I wanted to think that it was something else that made her miss me. I wanted to think that she had even half of the feelings that I had for her. It hadn’t went away and the more she was around, the more the feelings that I had started to multiply again.

“Thanks Angie.”

“You are welcome Marcus. I hate to see you like this. I hope they catch whoever it is that did this to you.”

“They have already been taken care of.”

She nodded and went back into the kitchen. I heard her turning the water on and moving around in there. I didn’t want to rock the boat and ask what she was doing in there. I just like the old familiarity that we used to have. At one time Angie had wanted to be a cook and she was always trying out new dishes for me. As soon as I tasted what she had made for me, I could tell that she was still practicing and learning.

“So did you go to culinary school?”

“Huh?”

I repeated myself and she came into the door way. “No, it wasn’t very practical Marcus. I had a lot of other things going on. I didn’t even finish high school until a year after I left. The last thing on my mind was going to class or college.”

“You were so driven. I can’t see that changing.”

“Well things change Marcus.” She looked away and went back into the kitchen without saying much more to me. I tried to ignore the nagging feeling that she was keeping something from me. I had already decided that I wasn’t going to get a real answer from her yet, but there was something going on with her and I wanted to know what it was. When she came back in, I tried to start up another conversation the ending result still trying to figure it all out.

“Yes they have. I think you are even hotter than you were back then. You haven’t aged a bit.”

“I don’t know about all of that Marcus, but thank you.”

My eyes took in her curves and I knew that she was a lot harder to look away from now. She had been pretty in school, but now she was the kind of woman that made a man stand up and take notice. I certainly was and even though I could barely move, all I could think about was her underneath me in this very bed. I remembered some things far too well.

“I think I am going to go. I will come and check on you later if you want. Is there anything else that I can get for you?”

She was already ready to leave and she had just gotten there. It was like before and I wasn’t ready, just like I wasn’t ready back then for her to go.

“Where are you off to in such a rush?”

“Nowhere really. I am off for the day, so I guess I am just going to go clean up and try to get everything set up the way it is supposed to be. I still have a few boxes that I don’t know what to do with. This place is a lot smaller than I am used to.”

“Come and sit with me a while. We have a long time to catch up on. Where did you come from?”

“Dallas.”

“Is that where you went?”

She shook her head and had a faraway look on her face. She was thinking of something, maybe it was playing in her head, but I was not privy to that information.

“No, I went to my grandma’s in Pascagoula first. Stayed there for a while and then moved to Dallas when I finally finished school. Went to college out there for a while.”

“So what made you leave?”

A darkness went over her face and her eyes. “Not much. I guess it was just time for something new.”

I hated to think that the something new hadn’t included me. I wanted her to tell me that she was back because of me. What was it that had her looking such a way?

“I am glad you are here. I have wondered about you through the years. It’s hard not to.”

“Well wonder no more Marcus. Everything is how it always was.”

“How did you not get married?”

“Man, you are full of questions today, aren’t you?”

“I haven’t seen you in a while Angie. A long time ago, you meant a lot to me. I hoped that you were happy.” While I had hoped for her happiness, in the same breath I had cursed her for leaving.

Angie got up and took the plate from my lap and asked if I wanted anything else to drink. I could tell that she was avoiding my questions and I wasn’t sure why. What did it all mattered all of these years later? What was it that she didn’t want me to know? The more she refused to answer, the more I was sure that there was something bad that I didn’t want to know. Even then I was driven to ask. Even as I thought of ways to get her back, just being around her was making that need in me wane quickly. I just wanted to know how she was and where she had been all of these years without me.

“So why didn’t you get married? A beautiful woman like you, smart, sexy as hell. You could have had any man that you wanted.”

Angie giggled and I closed my eyes to the sound. “I can see that you are still full of yourself and full of lines.”

“It wasn’t a line Angie. You have never gotten how beautiful you are to me.”

“It just never worked out that way Marcus. I need to get going. I will come back later, okay?”

I agreed, but I hated to see her go. I worried that it would be like before and I would never see her again. A part of me wanted to get her where I had her before, make her fall for me and to ruin her like she had me. It was like it didn’t matter to her and I just didn’t get it. How could she act like what we had together was nothing? Maybe she needed a taste of her own medicine to see what it was that she had done to me.

I was still thinking that I could get her back. That I wanted to. I went from wanting her, to wanting to make her pay. The damn pills were getting to me and before long I was out for the count. Just talking to her and eating a bit had worn me out. I wished I were better, but it was going to strength to deal with Angela.