Fran

“I have been missing you Fran. Where have you been? It makes me sad that you didn’t see how I was doing. I got shot you know. You would have known that if you would have stuck around. Where did you go?”

He was mad, that much was clear but I didn’t understand why. He hadn’t brought up the fact that I was the one that had called the cops to the house. It was my fault that he had been shot. I knew that he was going to say that. I was just waiting.

“I got away Cass. Where did you think I was going to go when you started putting your hands on me again? I told you that I wasn’t going to put up with it anymore.”

“So you didn’t even care if I was hurt?”

“I knew that you were too mean to die. I thought you were still in the hospital.”

“Why don’t I believe you?”

“Because you never believed me Cass that was half of the problem. All of this started because you thought I had done something with your meth and one of your dealers. I told you that I don’t put my hands on that stuff, but you wouldn’t listen. That is why I had to leave.”

“And the cops?”

“Survival.”

He paused for a moment and though we were still talking in a relatively soft tone, I knew that it was only a matter of time before the temper came out. He was always just one or two words away from going into hulk mode and I was waiting for it. I didn’t want him to get so mad with Stephanie there, but I couldn’t help my smart mouth. I never had been able to do anything about it. Most of the time I thought of it as word vomit.

“What do you want Cass?”

“I want you to come back home. You should know what I want.”

“Home?”

“Well I can’t go there right now. The cops are heavy by my place. I haven’t gotten a lawyer down there to talk to someone yet, but that will be taken care of soon enough.”

“Cass you shot at police officers and hit a couple of them. I don’t think the lawyer is going to get you off from that without doing some time.”

He made a sound at me as if I didn’t know what I was talking about. Maybe I didn’t, but I liked to think that it was him that didn’t get it. Cass really thought that he was able to get rid of anything that he didn’t like in his life. All it took was a little money and determination. I had heard him say it a million times and if I hadn’t seen him do it so many times in the past, I wouldn’t have thought it possible. But he was confident and that made me nervous.

“You will see. Don’t you worry, Fran. I am going to be out and with you for a long time. When are you coming home?”

“I am not coming home Cass. That is not my home anymore and I am certainly not going to the hideout to live.”

“You will come, Fran.”

I didn’t know what to say. I wanted to tell him to piss off and leave me alone. I knew that he was going to act like everything was okay. But we both knew it wasn’t. If Cass wasn’t going to kill me, he was going to make sure that I wished I was dead. I knew him too well to even entertain the possibility that he would forgive me. That was just not the way Cass was.

“Cass, it’s over. Just let me go. I want to move on and I know that you do too. It hasn’t worked in a long time. It is best for both of us if we just walk away now.”

My suggestion pissed him off. I could hear the tone change in his voice and it was the start of the anger that I didn’t want him to feel. He was there with Steph and she didn’t know how to handle someone like Cass. She was a good girl and it wasn’t like when I dealt with him. I knew what to expect, Steph would be afraid and I didn’t want that for her.

“You know that I am not going to do that. You thought you could get with another guy and move on. I was still in the hospital when you moved on. What does that say about you? Tells me that you are a little slut.”

I closed my eyes and I tried to breathe a little slower. This was going to turn bad quickly, now that the name calling had begun. I didn’t know what he thought or saw that made him say such things, but it wasn’t the first time. There had been times that he had hit me because some guy was looking at me in a way that he didn’t like. It didn’t matter that I did nothing wrong. Cass had always been really jealous.

“What are you talking about Cass? I don’t want to move on to another person.” I just want to move away from you. I couldn’t say that last bit though. I knew that it wouldn’t go over too well. How could it?

“I am talking about that guy I saw you with at the restaurant. You could have done better than Lucas, Fran. He is nothing but small fish. He doesn’t even move enough to make it worth my time to meet him. That is who you were going to leave me for?”

Something in me perked up and I was afraid that Cass saying something about Lucas meant that he had seen him touch me. As soon as he had done it and I had the feeling that he was close, I knew it was going to be a problem. Cass would be livid. Did he do something with Lucas?

“It isn’t like that Cass. It was just a customer.”

“Don’t act like I am stupid Fran. He used to be the neighbor and you are trying to pretend that you didn’t know him?”

He kept talking about Lucas like he was in the past tense. I wanted to ask, but I was afraid to ask. Whatever me and Steph were told, we would have to keep to ourselves or he could decide that we wouldn’t. Considering that I called the cops on him, I don’t think that he trusted me to keep my mouth shut. Unless he was going to threaten me and make it so I didn’t.

“I didn’t know him Cass.”

“He touched you.”

“It was harmless.”

“Well I bet he wished that he had never done it.”

He liked this. He wanted me to ask him what happened, he wanted to tell me what he did and I finally just played into his game.

“What did you do to Lucas, Cass?”

“Are you going to admit that you know him?”

“No Cass, he was just a customer that started to come in for breakfast. My face is all bruised up and I am sure that he just felt bad for me. Some men don’t like to see women all black and blue Cass.” I was forgetting myself and I was pissing him off on purpose. I wanted him to see what he did was wrong, but I didn’t think he had a conscious. I think he loved me in his own way, but it was conditional and laced with a lot of threats. That was the only way to keep me with him and he knew it.

“Well you deserve it Fran. The mouth on you makes you lucky that you are even still breathing.”

“What did you do to him Cass?”

“Who?”

“Lucas!”

I was losing my temper and that wasn’t going to do any good. It didn’t matter how upset I got, nothing mattered, but what Cass thought.

“Don’t you dare yell at me, Fran. I see that you are acting brave. You must have put some distance between us or you wouldn’t be talking to me like this. I did what I had to do. Lucas shouldn’t have touched what was mine.”

“I am sorry Cass, I didn’t mean to get loud with you, but I want to know what you did.”

“I just gave him a little welcoming to the neighborhood, that’s all.”

I had a feeling what that meant and my heart pounded harder in my chest. All of the thoughts I had about me and him being together or all of the what-ifs were gone. I hated that he had been hurt because of me. I didn’t want that to happen, that’s why I had warned him, but it didn’t appear to be enough.

“Cass, why do you have to do stuff like that? He hadn’t done anything wrong.”

“Why are you so worried about it? You need to worry about what I am going to do to your little friend here if you don’t come home. I want you home tonight.”

“I can’t get there that soon.”

“Where are you?”

I didn’t want to tell him, but the way he was acting, he would hurt Steph if he thought it was necessary to get what it was that he wanted. I knew that I didn’t want any more pain on my hands and I didn’t want anything to happen to Steph. She was one of my best friends and she wasn’t about this life. She didn’t deserve to be caught up in the middle of it. At least Lucas was from the same world. It didn’t make me feel any better, but it did make me realize that it was part of it. It didn’t matter anyways. I couldn’t help him anymore. I could help her, so I had to do what I could.

“I am in Florida.”

“It’s not that far away. You could make it by the time the sun comes up.”

“I am in Marathon, in the Keyes. It is going to take a bit longer than that to get there Cass. Just let her be and I swear to you that I will leave now and be there as soon as I can.”

“Why should I believe you? I know that you have no problem leaving someone to twist in the wind. What makes me think that you aren’t going to do the same exact same to her?”

“She doesn’t have anything to do with this. Just leave her alone Cass, please. I will do whatever it is you want me to do, I swear.”

The silence on the other side of the phone just made it easier to hear the pounding in my ears and I didn’t know what to do with myself. I didn’t know if he was messing with me with a smile on his face, or if he was really considering it. There were no other sounds behind him, so I hoped that it meant he was leaving Steph alone and that he would continue to.

“Fine Fran, but I am not going to give you long to get here. You better drive like I know you can, like we are robbing a place. Do you hear me Fran? We have a lot to talk about.”

I knew that the subject he was most worried about was the one that he didn’t want to bring up on the phone. He wanted to know about the police and since I knew how he felt about snitches, I had a feeling that I know what is going to happen when I got there. But I had to go back, no matter how bad it was going to be. He had Stephanie with him and I didn’t have a choice. I couldn’t let someone else get hurt because of me. I just didn’t want that on my conscious.

“I promise Cass, I am leaving now. Please don’t hurt her.”

He chuckled. “You don’t understand me very well Fran. I never like to get violent. I just have to sometimes. With you, I never wanted to hurt you, but you have to learn. You have to be able to see that Fran. It was all for your own good.”

It was laughable what he tried to justify, but I wasn’t stupid enough to push it. I was going to do what Cass wanted, no matter what the outcome was. I didn’t really have a choice.

“I will be there as soon as I can. Just don’t do anything to her Cass. Give me your word.”

I could tell that the request bothered him, but I was bothered as well. “I will give you twelve hours to get here. I am going to stay with Steph to make sure that you make it here. Let’s hope that you care about her more than you cared about me.”

The phone went dead and I was shivering. It still wasn’t the cold doing it, but the cold man that I had loved at one time. I had to ask myself, what in the world had I been thinking?