Joel

“Okay, you win. This is the best, hell I don’t even know what it is, but damn it is good.”

The giggle came back and I had to admit to myself at least how much I liked the sound of it.

“It’s gumbo.”

I had been surprised that I actually liked the concoction that they had put in front of me. There wasn’t a menu to really look at. Instead there was a list written on a dry erase board when we came in. There were only a couple of things to choose from and since I had no idea what any of it was, I had her order for me. What had come to me was something that I would have never eaten willingly before. It looked a little green and had all kinds of things floating in it that I was sure shouldn’t be even eaten at all.

But she had been watching me with those big blue eyes and there was nothing I could do but try it. I didn’t want to offend her and her comment about real men still grated on my nerves. It was harder than I thought to keep up the bad boy persona when I felt like I was about to be on a Fear Factor show.

“Well whatever it is, don’t tell me.” I had a feeling if I knew what the ingredients were I wasn’t going to like it as much.

“I won’t tell you what is in it, don’t worry. There is some etouffee coming out as well that I think you will like. You just order food and what is on the board is what everyone gets.”

“Oh, I thought it was the menu.”

Cameron shook her head and smiled. The dimple on her cheek was back and it melted my heart. “No, old Nann cooks whatever she feels like for the day and you either take it or leave it. It is kind of her motto.”

“Doesn’t seem like a good business plan.”

She shrugged and waved her hand around the full restaurant. No one seemed to be bothered by Nann’s choice of the day and if the rest was anything like this, I was sure that I wouldn’t be either. It seemed that it was working here for her and I could see why when more food came out. I couldn’t recognize it, but I think that was half of the charm. Either that or the beautiful woman across from me made everything taste better.

“So why is it called Monty’s if the owner’s name is Nann?”

“That was her son’s name. He died when he was young and since she never had anymore children, she wanted to name the place after him. I guess it is her way of remembering what she had, but moving on from it to start something good.”

Her words made me think of my divorce and how I was supposed to be moving on. It didn’t feel like it sometimes and though I worked hard at the tough guy routine that worked so well with Carlos, it was hard to do. The real me came out and in that moment, so did the emotions that I was desperately trying to push out of my mind.

Stuffing them back down, I started eating so we didn’t have to talk anymore. I usually felt that way with women since my ex-wife, but like everything it seemed that it was different with Cameron. I wanted to know how she saw things and it was comments like that telling me that she was deeper than most of the females I had aligned myself with in the past year.

“Are you okay Joel?”

“Huh, yeah why?”

“I don’t know. You haven’t said anything in a while and you are just looking off in the distance for a long time.”

“Just thinking.”

“Must be pretty important.”

“It is.”

I didn’t say any more about it and the dessert was coming out. Who would have thought that there was a such thing as bread pudding? The rum sauce topping was the best and before I left Monty’s, I knew that I was converted for life. When she asked what I thought of the place now, I told her the truth of more than one thing.

“I think I am in love.”

She looked down from my gaze and smiled. “The food there is good.”

I wasn’t talking about the food anymore, but the little witch that had come into my life. I didn’t know if she was there for a tease or what, but so help me I wanted her. I had to have her.

***

I convinced her to go out with me for a drink. I saw a bar that felt like the one that my cousin had owned back in Chicago. It was a biker bar and though I knew it wasn’t her scene, I would have felt more comfortable there than anywhere she was going to take me.

Cameron must have had the same look on her face that I had on mine when we had walked into the run-down restaurant, but she took it like a champ. She may have taken it better than I did because she just smiled and made a comment about the bike next to us. It was markings that I knew from the north and I knew I was going to be right at home there.

Getting inside, I ordered us a couple of drinks and found a pool table that wasn’t occupied. “Have you ever played?”

She shook her head that she hadn’t and I believed her. Cameron didn’t seem the type. I wasn’t sure what type she was, but everything about her stuck out at the bar. She looked like she should have been in a classier joint, with a classier man.

“No, not on a pool table like this. I had a smaller one when I was a kid.”

I didn’t know what that meant, until she beat me the first game. Here I was thinking that I was going to teach her a thing or two, but it was Cameron that tried to help me, showing me which shot would be the best. It gave me conflicting emotions. On one hand I liked the fact that she played and well, but I hadn’t liked the looks I got when she walked behind me and gentle moved the stick further down the green velvet to set up the shot better.

“There you go Joel. That should do it.”

It did and that irked me even more. Cameron was drinking more than me and she was still on a winning streak that would have driven anyone crazy. What couldn’t she do?

“Do you want to play some darts?”

One of the boards had opened up and Cameron was starting to look at the clock on the wall like she was ready to go. I wasn’t ready for our time to be up and though I had told myself that I was going to make her mine, there was still part of me that was looking for the right time. It just hadn’t come yet.

“Okay, I can play one or two games of darts, but I am not drinking anymore. You are starting to look like two people.”

“We can get you some coffee if you want.”

As soon as I said the words, I knew that I wasn’t going to be able to be who I needed to be, who I had convinced myself to be. Carlos would have told her to drink another, but I just wasn’t that way. I had learned my lesson once before a long time ago.

“No, I don’t think I want any coffee. I will just slack off for a while. Those drinks went to my head a lot quicker than I am used to.”

I didn’t mention that she had been getting doubles the whole time. The bartender had winked at me and then I hadn’t understood it, but now I did. It was an unwritten favor that I hadn’t asked for.

When I got the board zeroed out for us to play, I was thankful as soon as she threw the first one. I don’t know if it was because of the drinking or what, but it wasn’t her game. It was my turn to try and teach her and that meant that I was able to get closer to her than before.

Coming up behind her to help her hold the darts in her small hands, her soft floral fragrance overwhelmed my senses and I was left thinking of nothing but what it would feel like with her in my arms. I mean really in my arms and for me to finally have her.

Cameron turned around and smiled at me. “Are you ever going to kiss me?”

I didn’t know if it was Cameron talking or the Long Island Ice Teas. I was hoping that it was genuine desire in her eyes instead of the booze. But the fact of the matter was that I just didn’t care. Whatever it was that made her make such a request was the one for me.

Leaning down, our lips finally met and it was then that I knew I was falling for her, I had already fallen. Pulling her closer, I deepened the kiss and waited for her to push me away. I don’t know why I was expecting it. Maybe I hoped that was what she would do because I knew that I wasn’t going to be able to control myself.

When I finally did pull away, Cameron’s eyes were still closed and her face was upturned towards me. Her lips were still pursed and I rubbed my finger along the outline of her pouty pillows.

Cameron gazed at me and my heart lurched in my chest. I wanted to do it again, but I could tell that she wasn’t ready. If I was truthful with myself, I wasn’t ready either. I needed some time to think about everything that was going on. It wasn’t something that my cousin would do, but maybe that was a good thing. As much as I tried to not care, it was hard not to when it came to Cameron.

“Okay, so it is your go.”

“Huh?”

I pointed towards the dart board and went to sit at our table nearby. I had to get some distance from Cameron before I lost myself again. There really was something about her that was going to get me in trouble. I didn’t like the idea of her having so much control over me, but control she did have, whether I liked it or not.

She was a little shaky and I took that as a good sign. Even though I wasn’t shaking visibly like her, I felt it in my body. There was a big part of me that was only worried about what was going to happen next, while the other part was already thinking about years from now. How would she look when she was older and had a belly full of my baby? It was not a thought that I had ever had before, not even with my wife and that threw me off too.

“You are doing it again.”

“What?”

“You are staring off into space. Are you sure that you are okay?”

She was closer than I thought she was when I looked up. I hadn’t seen her walk up and I realized then that she was too observant. I had to get it together. Pushing away all of the thoughts and feelings that the woman put inside of me, I took the darts offered and took my turn. My aim wasn’t off, even though the rest of me was.

After the game was over, I offered to take her home. She had told me one or two, but with the way I was feeling, I needed some space from her and one was enough. I couldn’t have what I wanted, not really, so I needed a moment to breathe without the smell of her sweet pea perfume in my nose, messing with my brain.