Joel

“What the hell are you doing here Lisa?”

My ex-wife didn’t like the question and like everything else, she was there for a reason. While I was sure that the reason was to drive me crazy, I knew that she wanted something from me or she wouldn’t be there at all. Lisa didn’t just pop up unless something was about to happen. She had a knack for that and it made me nervous. What was she doing here?

“I was in town and someone told me that you moved here. I didn’t believe it, but here you are. I thought you were never going to leave Chicago. I couldn’t even get you to travel out of the tri-state.”

“Well I did. I would like to say that it is a good time Lisa, but like usual, it’s not.”

She pouted a little bit and I remembered the look well. Everything was coming back to a memory that didn’t want to remember. The woman broke my heart into a million little pieces and the last thing that I wanted to do was give her the ability to do it again.

“When did you get so bitter Joel?”

I sighed out loud and asked her again what she wanted. I wasn’t going to listen to her tear me down, not this time. I was in a good place and here I was making dinner for another woman. I wouldn’t say that I was bitter, except when it came to Lisa. With her I was bitter because of what she had done. It was something that I couldn’t forgive and I didn’t want to forgive her.

“You just caught me off guard. It isn’t every day I see you.” I had thought that I had moved far enough away to never see her again. Apparently that was wrong and the world was obviously too small.

“I just wanted to see you. I tried to call a couple of times but you turned your phone off, so I had to come down here and see you.”

“Or you could have just left me alone. I don’t know why you are here Lisa, but I have plans for the night that don’t include my ex-wife. I pushed the exe part to remind her of our divorce. The marriage might not have meant anything to her, but the divorce had meant a lot to me. I wasn’t going to pretend that she didn’t break my heart. That would be a waste of time. This woman took my heart and stomped it out on the sidewalk. I wasn’t going to let her do that again.

“I miss you. Isn’t that enough of a reason to see you?”

I shook my head that it wasn’t. I knew that I was being harsh, but I couldn’t help it. The way she left me was the worst I had ever been. I couldn’t just forget that and I couldn’t give her an opportunity to do it again because Lisa would. I could already feel my body responding like an idiot.

“You need to get to the point or leave. I don’t have time for this Lisa.”

She gave me this look that told me everything that I needed to know. Lisa still had some sort of hold on me and she wanted something from me. There was no telling with her what it was going to be. Whatever it was, I needed to get her out of my life before she came in like a steam roller and destroyed it all. It was only then that I thought about Cameron and the fact that she was going to be back any time. I wasn’t sure when, but I knew that it wouldn’t be good if she passed by and we were out here talking.

Lisa insisted on coming in again and this time I let her think she had won. I didn’t want to tell her that it was just so that no one saw her here, but it didn’t matter. She didn’t care, as long as she thought she was getting her way.

“Come in Lisa. I don’t want you standing out here.”

She smiled at me and I could see a bit of triumph in her face. That look I had seen far too many times. There were many reasons that I had always given Lisa her own way, partially because it was just easier and partially because I wanted to make her happy. While the latter was no longer a reason, it was still easier to go along with her to stop a fight. Lisa liked to fight and she could have my head in a jumble in minutes. I had known for a long time that she enjoyed twisting me up, but not this time. I wasn’t with her anymore.

“So how did you find out I was here Lisa?”

Lisa shrugged and walked into the kitchen. She looked good, really good and my body was still under her spell. I assured myself that my mind was still intact, but I don’t know if it was. While I was in love with another, years of familiarity were hard to combat. My body missed being inside of her, thinking of her as mine for too long.

“Smells good in here, Joel. What are you cooking?”

The woman was already going to the stove and lifting the lid.

“Don’t do that Lisa. You know that I have always hated it.”

“You didn’t mind too much not so long ago Joel, or have you forgotten so quickly?”

“I haven’t forgotten.” God, I wish that I could forget. I wished more than once that I could just erase the years that I spent with this woman for good. It had turned into one of the worst decisions of my life. It wasn’t a mistake that I was willing to make again.

“Good, then let me have some of this rice stuff and we can have a real chat. I miss your cooking Joel. Even though you tried to teach me, I never was too good at it, was I?”

“No, you weren’t. You were the only person I knew that burnt boiled chicken.”

She made a face at me for the reminder and I turned away to hide the smile on my face. I forgot also how quickly Lisa pouted when she wasn’t getting her way. The reminder was almost worth the unexpected pop-in.

“Don’t make fun of me. I tried.”

I shook my head again, calling her out on her lie. “No, Lisa you didn’t try and that was why it didn’t work with us. Since you are here, I will take it as you aren’t working out with whoever it was you left me for. Is that why you are back or is it because you want something? There are only two options that I can think of with you. Tell me I am wrong.”

When she didn’t answer, I didn’t need one. Lisa had never been mysterious. She was too basic and it was easy to see through it all this time around. Now all I needed to know was what it was this time that she wanted. Then I would see if it was easier to give her what she wanted or send her on her way. Either way I needed to get her out of the apartment before Cameron came back. She would not be okay with it and I knew that.

“Why do you always see the worse in people Joel?”

“Not people Lisa, you. And let’s just call it from experience.”

The lip went out again and a long time ago it would have affected me. It still did in a way, but it was a source of anger and frustration now. I didn’t find it cute and it certainly didn’t make me want to give in. Everything had changed and the biggest change came from realizing that I could go on without her. I was in love with someone else and that just made it so much easier to fight the small attraction that lingered from our marriage.

“I don’t like when you are in this kind of mood. I know what it is that you want Joel. Just let me give it to you.”

Lisa was walking towards me and I was stepping backwards like she was a walking flame. I had already been burned from her once before and I was going to avoid a repeat of that at all cost. Call it what you will, but that woman’s touch was bound to leave a mark.

“I don’t want anything from you.”

“I beg to differ, Joel. Look down.”

I did and I cursed. “It is not my fault that my dick is an idiot. I know better.”

She tsked me and I stopped. “You need to go Lisa. I am not playing this game with you again. You are a rollercoaster that I got off of a long time ago and I don’t want to get back on. Tell me what it is that you want so we can be done here.”

“You really want me to leave?”

Lisa had stopped and she had a look of shock on her face, like she couldn’t believe that I really rejected her.

“I never want to see you again Lisa. It is that simple. We are divorced and that makes you dead to me.”

“How can you be like this? We were together a long time.”

“Too long Lisa. Either tell me what it is that you want or leave. I don’t have time for this tonight.”

It was then that we both heard the knock on the door. I knew immediately who it was and the dread inside of me multiplied rapidly. There was no way that I wanted to have to explain why Lisa was here. Cameron wasn’t going to understand. I wouldn’t understand if she had an ex in the house with her. It didn’t look good.

“Who is that Joel? Did you have company coming over? Is that why you want me to leave?”

I didn’t want to answer her, but she started to walk towards the door and I had to say something to stop her. “I will help you Lisa. Just tell me what it is you want and get away from the door.”

The smile on her face increased and I knew that I was in trouble. “I just need a place to stay while I am here. Two days, tops.”

My head was hurting from trying to figure that out, but it was the small olive branch that I needed to make sure that it all worked out, as long as Cameron didn’t find out about it. The knocking had stopped, but I was still trying to refrain from talking very loud. I was more worried about what was going on with Cameron. I heard the footsteps retreat up the stairs and I could breathe again.

“Thank you Lisa.”

“Don’t thank me. Just let me stay here a couple of days while I am in town and we will call it even. I was going to repay you with a way that I knew you would enjoy, but I am okay with this arrangement. You are looking good Joel and the offer still stands if you change your mind.”

I shook my head and just went back to the pan on the stove. It had the slight smell of burnt rice and I knew that I had let it go too long. Frustrated that I wasn’t going to see Cameron tonight, I dumped the food in the garbage and went back into the living room with a few blankets and pillows.

“Here Lisa. You can sleep on the couch this time. You sent me to sleep on one more times than I can count.”

“Yeah, we did have some crazy times.”

She was talking like that was a good thing and I couldn’t help but shake my head. I never would understand her and at this point in my life, I wasn’t willing to try anymore. She was my past and I was ready to move on with my future. Cameron was my future.