Cameron

I kept looking at the phone like it was going to come out of my hand. That was how much attention I was paying to it, but there was a reason. I had spent most of the day feeling sorry for myself and nursing a hangover that didn’t seem to want to quit. It was too much to deal with as far as I was concerned and I was finding it harder than ever to cope. I hadn’t been without a job since I moved to the city and the anxiety of it was immense.

I wasn’t looking at the phone because of work though, I was thinking about calling someone about the heat. I wanted to call Joel and have him come over and fix the air conditioner that hadn’t worked all summer. I had done all I could to deal with it and to put it off, but it was time.

The reason that I was so nervous was because I knew what was going to happen when he got here. It wasn’t a plan per say in my head, but it was definitely clear to me what it was that I needed. I needed him in a way that I had refused so many times before. I needed him on top of me, inside of me, anything to numb it all for a time. Falling for Joel was not something that I ever wanted to do, but it was done and now I had to deal with the feelings that I had for him. No matter how impossible of a feat it seemed.

Why was it so hard to just push the button? He was here not even a couple of hours ago, so why was it so hard to just call him and ask him over? I had a legitimate excuse, so I could back out of it at any time if I wanted to.

Pushing the button, I held my breath and waited for him to answer. After the first couple of rings, I almost hung up, but I knew that my number was going to show up on his caller ID. I didn’t want to seem like I was nervous or anything like that. Even though I was full of nerves, I didn’t want him to know the truth.

“Hello?”

His voice was sleepy and I looked at the clock. Why was he sleeping at this time of the day?

“Hi, Joel?”

“Yeah?”

“This is Cameron…”

“Cameron?”

The voice perked up and I smiled to myself. At least he wanted to hear from me if nothing else.

“Yeah, sorry to bother you if you were sleeping...”

“No, really it is fine. I shouldn’t be sleeping this late anyways. What can I do for you?”

“Well, um, my air conditioner has been out for a while.”

“I know. I don’t know how you are sleeping up there in that heat.”

“I am really not. It is really hot all of the time and even though I have tried to open windows, it just doesn’t seem to help. There hasn’t been much of a breeze lately.”

“So you want me to come fix it?”

He sounded disappointed like I was calling for something else and the realization that I was calling for that didn’t seem to make him happy.

“Yeah, whenever you have time. There is no rush of course. I know you have been busy lately, so I just wanted to get on the list.”

“Are you working today?”

The question had me frowning and I didn’t want to think about it. I was supposed to be at work now, but I didn’t have a job anymore.

“Nope, no work for me today.”

“Right, sorry I forgot.”

I didn’t remember telling him, but I had a way of letting it all out when I was drinking and I was just going to blame it on that. I had said some things that I shouldn’t have and I knew that I was going to regret more of them.

“Well that is not what I was calling about Joel. I just wanted to see if you could fix that air conditioner when you have time.”

“I can be over there in five minutes.”

That wasn’t what I had expected. I had expected a time and date, later than today where I could be more prepared. I didn’t feel prepared at all at the moment and there was a big part of me that wanted to say no. But I was in it now and after I was the one that had called, I didn’t know how I was supposed to be able to back out now.

“No, I don’t want to rush you. Please take your time, really there is no rush.”

As soon as I said it, I had a feeling that he wasn’t going to go with what it was that I wanted. While I wanted some time to get myself together, Joel promised that he would be there in five minutes. I agreed because I didn’t see a way not to and looked down after the phone clicked that he had hung up. I looked a mess and I needed to take a shower real quick. I could still smell rum on me from the night before. This was not how I wanted him to see me and I was sure that there was going to be a moment that I would want to look proper.

I couldn’t decide what to do, so I unlocked the door and turned the shower on. I knew that he was going to be up here soon, so I told myself that I was just going to rinse off. I needed it and I needed to wake up, so it seemed like I could bang them both out at the same time. I just didn’t know that he wouldn’t even take five minutes.

As I was getting into the bathroom, I heard Joel at the door. I had already gotten undressed and I wrapped a towel around me to go answer the door. I was feeling far more nervous than I should have been. He wasn’t just there to fix my air conditioner. I needed him to help fix other aspects of me and one of them immediately called out to him as I opened the front door.

“Hey.” His eyes ran up my body and I looked away so that I wouldn’t have to see the need on his face. It was hard to ignore and I liked the fact that he liked what he was seeing. It was going to make seducing him a lot easier.

“Come on in Joel. I need to go jump in the shower. The air conditioner is in my bedroom. I don’t know why it won’t work, but if you could take a look, I would really appreciate it.”

I asked him if he had a tool bag because I wasn’t into fixing things. I might have had a hammer somewhere, but I wouldn’t even promise that.

“I just want to take a look at it and once I know what it is I will need, I will go down and get it. You just take your shower Cameron and I will take care of everything else.”

I had a feeling that he was more than capable of giving me everything that I needed. I wasn’t even thinking about the temperature anymore, even though it was starting to get noticeably hotter in the room. I knew that it was because of the way Joel was eyeing me. I made my way to the bathroom just to shield myself from his view. It was mighty hard to ignore the way he made me feel inside, my heart skipping a bit every few minutes.

The water to the shower was hot and had steamed the room up. It was almost to the point that I couldn’t see that far ahead of me, but it was how I liked it. It made me feel a little more mysterious as well, as I couldn’t even see my own reflection in the mirror. The bathroom was just how I wanted it and in my fantasies, Joel would come in and come up behind me. I waited for a few heartbeats, hoping that was what would happen, but I wasn’t surprised when it didn’t. I gave a lot of conflicting signals and I would have been confused if I were him. Hell, I didn’t even know what I wanted in truth. I knew I wanted Joel, but I wasn’t sure how to go about it.

When I got out, my skin was pink and damp from the shower. I stepped out in the hallway to hear where Joel was. He was in the bedroom and I had forgotten my clothes in there. It was going to seem strange to go in there, especially after I had hoped that he would walk in so many times while I was in the shower. If he wasn’t going to play along, I guess I was going to have to help him get the picture. I was new to the seduction game, but I wanted to try for Joel. He brought out a whole other side to me that I wanted to explore further.

“Sorry Cameron, I will get out of here.”

“No, it’s okay. I just need to find something to wear.”

I could barely look at him, afraid that he would find me silly, but I wanted to see if what I wanted from him was the same as what he wanted from me.

“It looks like you need another air conditioner. I will have to order one, but I think that there is one downstairs in the basement that I can put in for now.”

He was getting ready to leave and I asked him when he was going to be back. Joel glanced back and then stopped. I was still wearing my towel. I had forgotten that and his eyes took me in enough that I was feeling heat from his dark eyes.

“Was there anything else that you needed Cameron?”

It was the question that he asked me in my fantasy. I wanted to do what I had imagined I would do next, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I wanted to be bold and to show him that I wasn’t afraid of what was going to happen next, but I was frozen in place.

“Cameron, are you okay?”

I nodded my head that I was fine. I might have a heart attack at any minute, but I was fine, really I was.

“Yeah, I just… I don’t know.”

“Whatever it is that you want, all you have to do is ask.”

It didn’t feel that easy and if it was so hard to breathe, I didn’t think that talking was going to be a possibility.