Chapter 2
(Ten Years Before)
Kendra
I saw Amber’s new boyfriend from across the room and for some reason I knew it was him as soon as I saw him by what she had said. He was tall, handsome and had a letter jacket on like she told me that he would have on. He played football and the more I looked at him, the more I realized that I was missing love in my life.
It was senior year and it was only a few months into it. I worried about grades more than I did my love life, but Dennis Yearling was the type of man that made a woman re-evaluate what it was that made her happy. Did I really need perfect grades to get into college and if so, was it really worth it, if it meant that I was going to waste the last year of high school to do it? This time around when I asked myself that question, I can’t say that I really knew the answer to that right away.
I watched Amber come towards me with Dennis and there was a moment that our eyes met and something came over me. His emerald eyes were clear and they felt like they looked right through me. He smiled at me and Amber introduced us, not seeing the look that went on between us. I had to pull the expression off of my face before she got mad at me. It was innocent, but in a way, I was already thinking about Dennis is a way that wasn’t so innocent at all. The man was sexy and a hulk of a man. How could I not think about what it would be like to have those strong arms wrapped around me?
“Nice to meet you Dennis. Amber has told me so much about you.”
“I have heard a lot about you as well Kendra.”
His hand engulfed mine as he shook it and I had to pull it away after I realized I was still holding it moments later. I was getting lost in his eyes and the only way to stop it was to look away and put some distance between me and him. When I looked to Amber to make sure that she hadn’t seen it, she was just as oblivious as she was before. I felt bad, but there was a draw to the man that was hard to ignore. He was Amber’s though. I had to keep reminding myself of that.
“So Amber tells me that you play for Valley High?”
“Yeah, running back.”
I nodded my head, trying to start a conversation, but not knowing enough about football to really continue it. My head was swimming with bad thoughts anyways, thoughts that I shouldn’t be thinking about my best friend’s boyfriend.
“Well why don’t we go ahead to the party?” Amber was getting her coat on and I could tell she was anxious to leave. I hoped it wasn’t because of the way I was acting.
I followed the couple and I felt more like a third-wheel than I usually did. Amber was always dating someone and since her last boyfriend was just a few weeks ago, I should have been used to the feeling by now. But for some reason, this time was different, even though I wasn’t really sure why. This time I was jealous, something I didn’t usually feel, but I did now. I wanted to be the one holding Dennis’ hand and putting my head on his shoulders.
When we got to the party, I was about done being with the two of them and I branched off as soon as we got there. I had to forget the spark that occurred when he touched my hand and the way I felt. I knew it was wrong to think about him like that, but I couldn’t help it. All I could do was hope that somehow it was just because of tonight. It had been a hard week and maybe this was the results of it and I just wasn’t thinking clearly.
I drank a little too much, too soon and I had to go outside of the loud and crowded house to get some air. It was a pretty night as I sipped on some concoction that was called jungle juice. I was leaning back in a chair, staring at the stars.
“Hey Kendra, Jessica is inside looking for you.”
“I’m right here.”
“I see that. You look like you are feeling no pain.”
“No pain.”
“Do you want me to get her for you? Maybe you could use some help getting up.”
I shrugged and told him to sit down. I certainly wasn’t going anywhere until I could get through some of the shots I took down when I first got here. The world was spinning too fast for me and I was safer sitting down, that I was sure of.
“What are you doing out here?”
“Drinking juice and looking at the stars. It is so clear tonight. I feel like I haven’t looked up in forever. Did you notice how bright they are tonight?”
He looked up for a moment before sitting down. He didn’t seem all that interested in the sky above us.
“So you and Jessica have known each other for a long time, huh?”
I nodded that we had. I had known her since middle school and we had been best friends since her first day.
“Yes, for a very long time.”
“Then you can see that we aren’t meant to be together. I thought I heard him wrong. But it was easy to do when I had such a good buzz going on and I was thinking of what he would look like with his shirt off. It made it hard to hear and understand everything that he was saying.
“What do you mean?”
He looked away and I had to wonder what was going through his head. “I feel like I have made a bad choice and I want to correct it. It won’t change much, just a couple of weeks of parties and a few fights with Amber. Why should we wait?”
I didn’t get what he was talking about and I asked him to clarify. Maybe I had more to drink than I first thought because it seemed like Dennis was talking pure gibberish.
“I mean that I picked the wrong friend. We have a connection. I know you felt it when we first met and touched hands. Why don’t I break up with her now and then we can go out, see where it all goes? I can already tell that me and you will be great together. Your sexy as hell Kendra, why should we have to wait for the inevitable? You want me just as bad as I want you. I know you are wet for me right now.”
I was shocked that he had even asked such a thing, but also that he was so nonchalant about it like it was not a big deal. It felt like a big deal to me and I couldn’t believe that he had come right out and said such a thing. I was going to have to tell Amber. I would have to tell her what kind of guy he was, even at the same time I knew that what he said was true. I did want him and I was wet.
“You know that I couldn’t just go out with you like that, not after breaking up with Amber. She is my best friend. There is girl code and once a friend goes out with a guy, that guy is off limits.”
“For how long?”
I shrugged. There wasn’t actually rules written down, but I knew that his suggestion went against the main bylines.
“I don’t know, maybe never.”
He frowned at me and leaned back in the patio chair next to me. “That’s a bummer. It is a shame you won’t let me taste you just once Kendra. I am sure I could change your mind if you give me a chance.”
“Yeah.” I looked up at the stars and closed my eyes. Everything was spinning again and I wanted to say yes badly, but knew I couldn’t. I knew that this was the right thing to do, ignore the man next to me that was more right than I cared to admit.
***
It happened liked Dennis had predicted. About two weeks later, he and Amber had broken up. It was her idea and I wondered if I had anything to do with it. She had moved on to someone else, Mitch or Kenny. I get them confused sometimes. She didn’t want to talk about Dennis and I didn’t either, until a couple of months later he was playing against our high school and I wanted more than anything to see him again. He played so good and after the game, I got down closer to the field on the bleachers, hoping he would see me. I couldn’t go to him. That somehow made it wrong. But if he came to me and we talked, it was just good manners. That is how it played out in my head anyways.
And then he saw me from down the field and our eyes met like they had when Amber had introduced us before. I was still just as wrapped up in him as I was then. He started towards me and as my heart raced a little faster, I was annoyed when he talked to another girl first. It wasn’t long before he was coming my way, but I tried to hide my discontent.
“Kendra, wow. I didn’t think I would see you again. What are you doing here?”
“I go to school here.”
He smiled and rubbed the back of his neck like he was a little embarrassed, “Right.”
There was a moment of silence and then I broke it by telling him that he had played well in the game. I watched him with envy and I still wondered what would have happened that night if things had been different. What would I have done if he would have pushed just a little bit? I don’t think it would have taken much and as bad as I felt about it, I knew that there was going to be nothing that would change that. Even now as he looked at me, I felt the familiar stirrings inside. He was just too handsome and those damn eyes were actually twinkling at me like the stars on that night we met.
“Thanks. So what are you doing here? Is Amber around?”
He looked around as he said it and I can’t say that he was too excited about the idea of it. I didn’t blame him, Fromm what I had heard, there breakup was not a very good one and several people had witnessed it. Amber had thrown something in his face and he had just stood there. I never asked what happened and Amber didn’t say much. She was already on to the next guy anyways.
“No, she is with her boyfriend. I think that went out to the race track for some street racing. I never go out there because it is so loud.”
“So who were you here with?”
“Just some friends. They are over there somewhere.” I motioned to the concession stands where half of the people left were. They were congregating over slushies and globby nachos.
“Do you want to go grab something to eat? I am starving.”
“I guess so after all of that running. Are you tired?”
“Very, but it was a good game. Sorry your school lost.”
I shrugged, it didn’t matter to me that much. “Whatever. This is a guy’s sport. I could really care less.”
“Then why did you come?”
I came because I had heard what school our team was playing and I was hoping that I would be able to get a chance to see Dennis again. I couldn’t say that to him though, even if it was true.
“Just to get out. A friend had some grass and the game is always better that way.”
He looked at me a little shocked and then smiled. “So, are we going out? I don’t know how long it has to be.”
“For what?”
“So that we can date. Remember your girl code?”
I told him that I didn’t know and he decided for both of us. He kissed me there, standing on a bleacher in front of everyone. It didn’t take long before the whole school knew about it and apparently a few months weren’t enough time after all. Me and Amber got in a huge fight and hadn’t really talked since.
It would have been different maybe if Dennis wouldn’t have left to play ball not but a couple of months later and then to go work at his father’s company. Long distance didn’t work and we broke up when I refused to give up my plans and dreams and follow him. I don’t even remember who broke up with whom. I just remember it being over. I lost a lot that last year of high school and there were still times I wish I had it all back again. If I had a choice though, I still didn’t know which one I would pick.