Stacy
I didn’t answer my phone when Chris called because I didn’t know what to say to him. After what me and Ashlyn had talked about, the last thing that I wanted to do was talk to Chris. I had known he had a reputation, but my aunt felt the need to make sure that I really knew what that entailed. Well now I did and I can’t say that I liked it all that much.
The way Ashlyn described it, I was better off to never see him again. It wasn’t that I had expected any different, but I had hoped that it would be different somehow. I knew that we weren’t meant to be together, but the fact of the matter was that I wanted us to be written in the stars. It was a pipe dream, I knew that, but it was still a dream that I couldn’t brush off. I wanted everything to be perfect, but Ashlyn brought it all back down to me. She made me realize that I was not even in the same world as Chris, let alone the same league. He wasn’t the man I was looking for and I knew that now.
It didn’t mean that I had to like the way it all turned out. Every time he called and he called often, the first thing that I would want to do was to call him. I wanted to hear his voice and I wanted him to tell me all of the things he had said before. Ashlyn must be wrong if he keeps calling me, right? Why would he call if he didn’t want to have anything to do with me?
I was getting weaker to his calls and then he came by my apartment a couple of times. Again, I didn’t answer because I didn’t want my mind to be where it was now. I didn’t know what was going on, but I knew that he was just toying with me. Chris was never going to give me what it was that I wanted.
I was out with Ashlyn a week later and again Chris was calling me. It was lunch time and I was sure that he wanted to go out. I quit my job with Keenan without much of an answer. The truth was that I just couldn’t run into Chris. I didn’t have the strength and if Keenan knew where I was, then that meant that Chris knew.
“Who is it that keeps calling you and making you look at your phone in that way Stacy?”
I shrugged and refused to tell her about Chris calling me. She had bashed him enough and I just didn’t want to hear it. I knew her opinion and everyone was entitled to their own opinion, but that didn’t mean that I wanted to hear it again. And it didn’t mean that I had to agree with her, because I didn’t.
“Don’t tell me that it is Chris.”
“What if it is? So what? It is not like I am going to answer it.”
“Good for you Stacy. It really is for the best.”
“It doesn’t feel like it.”
“Well it will get better. You just have to take your mind off of it and I have an idea for that.”
“Oh?” There was no telling what kind of an idea she had, but Ashlyn usually had good ones. I needed something to take my mind off of the man that I loved and wouldn’t ever love me back. It wasn’t healthy to feel this way about him. It really wasn’t. Especially when I knew down in my heart that whatever I felt for him, wasn’t reciprocated and that wasn’t going to change.
“Yeah I have a few friends out in California that do some marketing for all of the big names in Hollywood. I think it would be a great opportunity to go down there the last month and a half of summer. It will be good for your resume and I think it will be even better for to get out of here for a while. It seems like you need to clear your mind Stacy and this will help.”
She was right. I knew that I wasn’t going to be able to get Chris off of my mind when I was here. I knew that I didn’t want to have to run away, but the truth of the matter as that I did. It was going to be the only way that I was going to be able to feel normal again. I needed to jump into something head first and I had almost 2 months until my first class started.
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
She looked surprised, like I wasn’t going to agree to it. But she was right that I needed to get out of here and get away from Chris. She had warned me about it him a long time ago and for a while I had tried to tell myself that she as wrong. Ashlyn wasn’t though. Being around here and where Chris could keep contacting me was just going to make it impossible to forget and I really needed to forget.
“Yeah, okay. I think that this is going to be for the best.” I wasn’t too sure about that, but I was sure that I needed a change of scenery.
“Good Stacy. I was afraid that you were going to argue with me about it. But I am glad that you see this is for the best.”
I wasn’t going to go that far, but it was a good idea and I could see it like that. It wasn’t going to be easy, but with something to do I would be able to recuperate sooner.
Ashlyn never was one to take her time with anything and this time was no different. She had it all set to go the next day and all I had time for was to go home and pack. I didn’t have time to really think about it and I didn’t have time to change my mind. I think that that was the whole point. She didn’t want me to back out of it and she might have been right that I would have done it.
So the next day I met Ashlyn at the airport and I was determined to make this an adventure and to look forward to it. It was going to be great for when I graduated. It was real life experience and it wasn’t in stocks, but marketing like I wanted. This was going to be a good thing.
***
It felt like an eternity that I had been gone when I got back to my place. It was strange to be home after being in California again. I almost stayed there, but instead I came home. It was more out of duty than anything else. I had only one semester left to go and I was determined to finish it. It would mean more money for me when I graduated, even though I had been offered a job while I was there. The pay was good, but I knew that I would regret it if I didn’t get the degree that I had worked so hard for. I was in the final stretch and with new information coming to light, I felt like I had to get my degree before it was too late and life got in the way. I had seen it happen many times before and I wasn’t going to be one of those girls.
The irony of it all was that Ashlyn had given me the opportunity to go to California to get away from Chris and to get him out of my mind. The sad part was though, that there was no way I was going to be able to forget him, not when there was a reminder of him growing in my belly. That was something that couldn’t just be forgotten and the more I thought about it, the more I was convinced that there was no way that I was going to get over him. I was still not sure what I was going to do, but I knew that I had to figure something out soon. Soon I was going to be showing and there would be no ignoring it anymore. People were going to want to know.
It was something that I never thought I would be. I was going to be a single mother and I knew that if I didn’t have my degree before I gave birth there was a good chance that I would never get it.
So I made the decision to get back to school and not even worry about anything else. I needed to focus all of my attention on that and see what happens. The problem was that I took it a bit too far. I forgot to sleep and eat with my appetite gone as my life became messier by the minute. I must have collapsed because I woke up the next day in the hospital, not sure how I got there. The first person that I saw was Chris and I didn’t know what he was doing here.
“What are you doing here?”
“You didn’t have any ID on you Stacy. All you had on you was your phone.”
I was still a little fuzzy and my eyes had to adjust to the bright fluorescent light overhead. I didn’t remember what I was doing the last time I remember anything. The last thing that I remembered right off the bat was that I was in between classes or maybe I was going to a class. Either way, it appeared that I hadn’t made it. I felt a rush of embarrassment run through me and I didn’t even want to look over at the man beside me.
“So what are you doing here?”
“Well they called me last night because I was the phone number that was on your phone. I guess they didn’t think that the fact that it was all missed calls seemed to matter. I am glad that you are okay and that they called me. I didn’t know who else to call, so I went through your phone a little bit, but finally just called Ashlyn. She doesn’t want me here, but I told her that I wasn’t leaving until you woke up.”
“Don’t go.”
He turned to me and I looked away. I can’t believe that I had said that out loud, but I had and I meant it. I wanted to see him and now that he was right here, the last thing that I wanted to do was to watch him go. We had to talk and I didn’t know how I was going to say it out loud what I felt inside.
“I am not going anywhere. Where have things to talk about Stacy, a lot of things.”
“Like what?”
He gave me this half-cocked look and smiled. “Well the doctor came by. Do you know why you passed out?”
I told him that I didn’t know. It could have been a multitude of things that caused it. I knew that I wasn’t taking care of myself like I was supposed to and I hadn’t eaten much that way. That was the conclusion that I had come to while I was laying here. I don’t know if I was wrong, but it seemed like if I didn’t know, he knew and I was not sure if I wanted to hear it or not.
“Because you are pregnant Stacy, but you knew that already, didn’t you?”
I shook my head that I did. “I was going to tell you eventually, but I didn’t figure you would care either way.”
“You really think that I wouldn’t care?”
“Why would you?”
“Because I love you Stacy and I have been a wreck since you left. Your aunt refused to tell me where you were and it has been driving me crazy. I thought you had gotten another phone. Why didn’t you ever answer?”
“I wanted to forget about you Chris. I knew that you were going to break my heart and I didn’t want to let you.”
“I understand why you think that way. I have had a lot of time to really think about it and I know that I wasn’t the best man before. But all of that is going to change, it already has changed. I am so happy you are back and we can finally really be together. There is nothing that I want more than that.”
I looked up to the IV stand that was beside me and I figured that there was some really good stuff in there and that was why I was seeing Chris here. He shouldn’t be here, so why was he here?
“Do you not have anything to say about what I just said?”
I didn’t know what to say and the more I thought about it, the more I was sure that I had heard it all wrong
“I love you Stacy and we are going to be together. You and the baby.”
It was the last thing that I remember before I went back to sleep again. I dreamed about a life with just me and Chris and I woke up with this sadness because none of it was true. When I looked over and the chair next to me as empty, I was sure that I had seen it all in my mind. I relaxed back into the bed when I realized that he wasn’t coming. I don’t know what I was thinking. A man like Chris would never really love me, not really.
“Stacy, you are up. I was just getting something to drink. I knew if I left I would be gone when you woke up.”
“What are you doing here Chris?”
He smiled at me and shook his head. “I told you Stacy, I am not going anywhere.”
I closed my eyes, the tears that had threatened to fall were now doing so. Chris looked alarmed. “Why are you crying Stacy. Are you hurting? Do you want me to get the doctor?”
His concern just made me even sadder. I didn’t know wat to say. “I thought you were a dream.”
No, afraid not. I am really here and you are really mine Stacy.”
He moved into the bed with me and I knew that he was real. I needed to do was feel the touch of him on my body and I knew. Chris wasn’t a dream or he was rather and I had been lucky enough to find him.
THE END