Ty

The end of the day rolls around the next Thursday and I’m just about ready to rip out my hair when Rus strolls into my office, smiling and whistling as he falls into a seat and stretches his legs out in front of him.

I have no idea what the fool thinks is so good about life but I’d appreciate it if he’d stay away from me with all that happiness just falling off him in spades.

“You look like shit.”

“Thanks, I’m loving the flattery asshole. What do you want?” I mumble as I close off the accounting spread sheet I’ve been working on and shut everything down before shoving the laptop in my bag and putting the hard copy of the contracts I’ve been working on in the safe in my desk.

“I sorta assumed you’d be skipping dinner at Lizzie’s tonight so I was wondering if you’d like to grab a bite with me over at Logan’s and maybe have a drink or two at the club.”

That sounds great because truth be told I was starting to worry about not going to Lizzie’s tonight without a plausible excuse and I was totally about to cave, even though the thought of sitting there with Rox and her whole family made me want to have a stroke.

I haven’t spoken to Rox since last Thursday and the need to call her up and apologize has been eating at me like a fresh freaking wound. It got so bad at one point I caved and drove by her mom’s place three times until I saw her in her bedroom window, talking and laughing on the phone.

It’s freaking creepy but I stopped across the street just behind her brother’s construction truck and just sat looking at her, so relieved she seemed okay that I couldn’t force myself to stop watching and leave until she fell asleep around three the next morning.

I’ve been over all this shit at least a million times in my head and no matter how much I want to disagree with myself, I know that what I did was the right thing.

“Yeah man, that sounds fantastic. I was just about ready to leave the country for an excuse not to go over there if you want to know.”

Rus laughs and shakes his head, his new faux hawk making the normally serious man look young, hip and a lot cooler than I usually would have thought he is.

“Yeah, because you’re scared as hell of seeing Rox and you’re terrified of what Lizzie will say if she finds out you rejected her precious niece.”

“Hey screw you Rus. I haven’t heard anything happening between you and Ingram besides Mari crowing about Ingram dating some MMA fighter related to Finn. You think she’s playing gin rummy with the motherfucker?” I goad. Making him snarl and snap his teeth at me.

“Yeah? Well at least I worked up the fucking ball to tell her how much I want her. Me, I’m not an asshole Ty. If a beautiful woman like that would give me the time of day I’d be in her and locking that shit up so tight every dick in the city and towns over would know she’s mine.”

He’s right and I agree fully which makes what I said to Rox so much harder to bear than it was just an hour ago. I’ve thought of it from every single angle and I still can’t come up with a way to have her and give her everything she deserves without putting myself at risk.

And to make shit worse I’ve been in meeting after meeting with Cindy who seems to have forgotten she told me I was a monster and hasn’t stopped flirting with me all week.

At one point I told her if she’s so desperate for dick she should give her father’s VP a shot because I sure as shit wasn’t interested. Straight and to the point. Although I did feel guilty for being that crass and hurtful. Just because she’s a bitch does not give me the right to be an asshole.

But I was honest and you know what that shit did? It made her simpering, coy looks and touches even worse. Got so bad I didn’t know where the hell to move.

Now I don’t know what the hell to feel because if I’m being honest, I still remember all the good shit that I had with that woman. A part of me still remembers how she smelled and the way she’d smile all soft and sleepy when I’d wake her up in the morning to make love.

I remember how funny she could be and that she was kind to strangers and always gave money to the needy. It chaps my ass but if I have to be honest, totally honest about everything I guess I would say that Cindy was a really good person.

I guess that’s why the cruel way she came at me was such a shock. I wasn’t prepared. Sure she could be a brat, like everyone can be at times and she was sometimes moody because her father was a nightmare to work with, but she was a great girlfriend and I guess remembering that has me so off kilter I can’t reconcile shit.

Add Rox to all that confusion and I just don’t know which way to turn anymore.

“I don’t want to fight with you Rus, I’m sorry. I’m just so fucking tired and this shit with Rox is driving me nuts. I wish…”

I can’t finish that sentence because saying I wish she hadn’t said all that stuff to me is a total lie. I felt great hearing how much Rox wants me, to the point that for the first time in a long time I actually paid attention to woman around me and noticed that a lot of them throw me appreciative looks.

At first I was so shocked I couldn’t quite believe it but as the days have gone by and I take note, I think, I think I may just be getting passed the scars and the deep sense of discomfort I’ve felt for so long. Honestly, I feel great, confident and good enough about myself that I had the immediate urge to call Rox and talk to her like I used to.

Ironic that I pushed away the woman who finally shattered all my hang ups to hell. Fuck.

“Let’s go man. I need a drink and from the look on your face I’d say you need it just as badly.”

“Yeah. Maybe then I can actually sleep tonight.”

Rus snorts and I grab my things, promising myself that before the month is up I will speak to Rox and clear this up. If she’s willing to take me as I am, knowing that I have issues with marriage and commitment, well then I’ll grab on tight and try like hell to make her feel so loved she won’t want to leave me.

****************************************************************

Rox

“I don’t think this is a good idea.” Cam huffs as we all take a seat at the big table at the back that Mari and Gray reserved for us all.

“Would you shut up and readjust your fucking pad! This is a fantastic idea.” Mari hisses, smiling so brightly I feel some of the evil pour off her in waves.

Mari is in seventh heaven right now and I can’t blame her. I myself am feeling a huge amount of mercenary satisfaction as Cam’s buddy Tegan sits beside me, smiling and stroking my nape as if I am the most beautiful thing in his world.

I mean he’s hot and I really think that if I was at all emotionally available right now he’d be a great catch. But I’m not and truth be told I think he has a thing for Ing’s little sister Nelly.

Oh well. It’s all good since I’m so ready and looking forward to making Tyson Fox drool like a dog with his sights on a hunk of steak.

“It’s a terrible idea. That motherfucker is big Rox. I’ve seen him sparring at Ralf’s place on the weekends and he will chew us all up and spit us out with contempt.”

“Oh Cameron, stop using all those big words and take a load off before you start ovulating. It’s all good.” Mari chortles, rubbing her hands together with glee.

Gray just smiles, looking oh so proud of his evil little lady and shrugs when Cam grimaces at him for help.

“Don’t look my way man. The last time I disagreed with her she poisoned me till I shit my pants. I’m staying out of it so I can live to see my son.”

Mari titters and throws Gray a kiss before bouncing in her seat excitedly and looking around the restaurant.

“Justin-”

“Oh fuck no. I told Rox I wasn’t getting involved in this shit and I woke up with ma standing over me holding tongs and a tube of ointment after Rox told her I’ve been scratching my balls for days and my underwear is showing signs of open sores.”

I want to cackle at that because I woke to the sounds of Justin screaming like a girl and running around the house holding his nuts while mama chased him and called Lizzie.

That will teach him to thwart me ever again. For this to work I need all my people around me, acting as a buffer between me and Ty. And not because I think the man will just cave and try to get with me.

Nah, these fools don’t know my little love bunny, he’s stubborn. No, what I’m doing now isn’t so much as making a play per se, just setting the stage in the event that Ty needs more than a little convincing that he wants me.

So I have everyone here. Cam, Jus, Tristan and his girl Polly, Alex and Gretchen, Hutch and his wife Nat and then of course my Mari and her Gray and my very own pal Tegan. Tonight’s not about getting with Ty. No, what I want is for him to see me, see that I’m not a mess sitting by the phone with my dirty hair and blotchy face, waiting for his ass to call.

And then, well he can continue on his merry way because by the time my family, who is in construction and knows everyone else who builds in this city, decide to pull out the big guns I’ll be so close to breaking Ty…

I want to say it won’t be funny but I’m a sadist. I will enjoy his pain and then kiss his booboos.

“I think this shit is hilarious! I went by that west construction place and I saw that chick. She is smoking hot,” Tristan says, getting a slap upside the head from Polly. “What? Babe you saw her too and told your moms you’d do her in a heart-beat if you thought she’d be down for it.”

Polly, the little blonde pixie who reminds me of Kate Moss, giggles and throws me an apologetic smile that makes Mari laugh.

“You dirty girl.”

“She was seriously fine and it pains me to admit it. Sorry, Rox.”

“Like I care.” I scoff, readjusting my boobs in the little black dress I squeezed myself into. “I’m freaking hot and I know it. Besides she had her chance and she blew it.”

“Sing it loud!” Mari yells, flipping off a couple who turn to glare at her. “You want a picture to jack off to later at home lady?”

“Christ. Would you calm down before the rich folks run us out of here with pitchforks,” Justin mutters, making Gray laugh.

“You say whatever you want baby. I’ll beat them all up for you.”

“You’re so romantic, Grayson. Maybe you’ll get lucky tonight and I’ll let you do me with the lights on,” she purrs, making the sap fist pump and let out a happy yell.

“Behave.” I laugh, throwing Polly a grin. “Are you all set and ready?”

“Yup. I have Lizzie on speed dial and Blay hooked her up with one of those fancy phone systems so she can conference call with the Ro’s and your mama. Tink’s got Little B on a feeding schedule so her and Blay will be present for it all. And I even called Ing and got hold of her. She’s gonna skip out of her conference early and listen in too.”

So everything’s a go. Good. I’ve been working super hard on this, despite the occasional crying jag late at night when I couldn’t stop myself from watching Titanic again.

It got so bad that Cam stormed into my room and shoved porn into the DVD player and told me to get the fuck over myself before he loses his temper and tracks Ty down.

I snort now because he was all big talk until he realized he’s met Ty and well, it turns out my big, scary brothers are a little leery of Tyson. Go figure, I think, giggling under my breath.

But all that porn, because let’s face it, no one will turn down free porn, only served to make me feel worse. I mean shit, have you seen some of those woman. Sure, maybe they aren’t all rainbows and sunshine up top but their bodies!

I’m still having anxiety attacks remembering their vaginas because deaaamn, either I have a little extra down town or those chicks all have their junk trimmed. Yikes.

I’ll stick with what I got and leave the Frankenstein shit to those ladies a thank you.

“Heads up Rox, the Behemoth has landed.” Mari hisses, making me fight the need to look up just to get one pervy glance at my guy.

Tegan, my lovely Tegan just smiles and seems to know what he’s doing as he starts up a conversation with Justin and Cameron, all while leaning into me and giving me little touches that make me want to smooch him for his help and kindness.

“Look, you have got to calm down and act natural. Talk to me about stuff and just relax and enjoy a good dinner and some good company.” Mari says, leaning over to talk to me while Gray discusses the construction business with my brothers.

I can’t relax though. All I keep remembering is the way he looked at me last week, as if the way I felt didn’t mean anything to him. I know Ty can be cold. I’ve seen him cut a guy down to size on construction sites with nothing more than two words and a look of contempt.

I know he can be brutally honest but I never once thought that he’d be insensitive about the way I feel just to protect himself. I had a few bad moments there on Wednesday remembering the fact that he’s now working with his ex on this new resort construction down in Misty View, a little town down the Coast.

I almost cracked right there and drove to his apartment to throw myself at him. By almost I mean I actually had a panic attack and ran out of the house to do just that until Cam caught me and dragged me back into the house with a bark to have some self-respect.

I wasn’t quite ready to listen until mama came barrelling into the living room, smacked me upside the head and threatened to tell Lizzie that I was caving like a sheet of cardboard.

After the whole father O’Leary thing I’m pretty sure Lizzie will kill me if I shame this family again, so I had no choice but to go upstairs and watch T.V, which was super awkward because mama came in to watch me and decided to put the T.V on and well…

I almost died of shame and ended up going to morning mass for that one, no matter how much I tried to tell her that it was Cam’s porn.

The ass laughed all morning long. Or at least he did until he realized I put cat litter in his cereal. Teach him to mess with me!

“It’s just not fair you know. I mean I did everything right Mari. I told him how I feel, even told him I’m okay with whatever he wants and he totally shot me down.”

“That’s your problem Rox, you’re willing to accept shit when we all know that he’s being a total ass. Accept what? Half a man? The scraps he’s willing to throw you? I’ll kill you before I let you do that and besides, can you imagine Marveline Crocker if she hears that you’re living in sin with a Baptist?” she chortles wickedly, making me spit wine all over the table cloth.

“The last time I dated a boy who wasn’t Catholic she took to her bed for three days and had the father reading her last rights. It was so hammed up papa decided to teach her a lesson and called the funeral parlour to order a casket.” I cackle, remembering mama’s histrionics and the way she rose off that bed like the living dead.

Lizzie laughed so hard she farted and mama fed papa wheat germ and vegetables for a whole week to teach him a lesson.

“Yeah. I was there. What ever happened to Riley?”

“He’s still alive unfortunately even after Cam and Jus offered to rig his apartment ceiling. I almost accepted until I heard he’d knocked up the CEO’s daughter and was stuck with the little yapper.”

“I hated that guy.”

“Really? You never said.”

“Babe, I put washing up soap on his coffee and left horse shit on his doorstep more than once. Trust me, I wasn’t exactly being subtle.” She snorts, making my hackles rise.

“That was my coffee! I shit myself for two days and couldn’t figure out why. And I was the one who had to clean the horse crap because he stepped in it, got a whiff and started puking. I even had to clean that up! I should kill you,” I mutter, grinning because I should have known.

Horse manure is kinda Mari’s calling card.

“But you won’t and we both know it. Now, on to better things. Let’s talk about…”

I keep listening with half an ear as curiosity finally gets the better of me and I look up, needing just one glimpse of Ty. When I finally spot him I almost rear back when stormy grey eyes meet mine head on, letting me know that he’s been watching me the whole time.

I feel exposed, stripped bare and so vulnerable as I keep eye contact and see something cold blazing in his eyes. Just when I’m about to crack I feel Tegan lean in close to whisper in my ear.

“Don’t sweat it, babe, he’s been glaring this way since he got here and chances are he’ll keep it up the more I touch you. Want a kiss?”

His playful cheekiness is infectious and I want to say yes, I do, but it wouldn’t do anything but prove to Ty that cutting me loose was a good idea. I don’t want him thinking I’m a fickle whore, just that I’m not a pathetic loser pining away for him.

“Thanks babe but I think I gotta pass on that what with the way I love that idiot.”

“Aaah, my poor broken hopes.”

“Roxeletta! You kiss that boy.” I hear from a distance, making me cringe when I realize that Mari must have called Lizzie and everyone and the neighbour’s cat is currently listening in on this.

“No! The deal was that I go out so I don’t look like an asshole sitting at home with booger sleeves.”

“We agreed that making him jealous was the goal. You said you were willing to become a loose moral-tramp to be with him and I don’t see the difference with kissing Tegan. Honestly Marveline, what have you raised? Even my Ginny has more spine and she’s so yellow she should clash with all them ugly pink dresses she wears.

“Hey! I look great you old…”

“He doesn’t get jealous Lizzie, haven’t I already told you that? I had to suck face with Finn for months before I just gave up and realized he wasn’t going to crack.”

“Horse shit! That boy zeroed in on Fayette and couldn’t keep his zipper closed. And besides, Finn wasn’t any competition for a man like Tyson and he knew it. Tegan is bound to get a rise out of him.”

I snicker at the lewd way that sounds and see Mari chortled behind her hand just as Rus drops his hand behind his seat and gives me three fingers, a sign that things are about to lift off.

“Roxeletta Crocker, you take one for the team or I swear to God I will have you back on toilet duty with those nuns so fast your head will spin.” Lizzie hisses, making my stomach turn with fear.

“Sssshh! He’s coming over here you old bat.” I hiss, trying my damndest not to panic when I see Ty rise from the corner of my eye and start walking over.

Tegan also takes note and I see Mari grin and stretch her eyes in excitement as my fake date leans in and runs his oh so soft lips over the ball of my shoulder, making me shiver and groan to keep in a shriek.

“Don’t you dare freaking go soft on us Rox.” Mari warns just before Rus reaches the table, swiftly followed by Ty.

“Rox.”

Don’t moan, I think desperately when he growls my name, his eyes shooting daggers at Tegan as he ignores Mari’s cackles and Gray’s smirk.

“Hey Ty. Rus, dude I cannot believe you’re still in the city after I told you that Ing’s gone to Cali for a conference. She’s got a pink bikini and a loose soul to go along with it. You could be scoring right now.” I joke, concentrating on the need to keep my eyes off Ty.

“And get my nuts cut off when she realizes I’ve been stalking her all this time. No thanks babe, I already know how to reel my woman in, I just need time to let her get tangled up in all that rope I’ve been feeding her.” He says with a satisfied smirk that makes me feel oh so sorry for Ingram.

“Rox, can’t I talk to you?”

Ty looks ready to kill someone right now as Tegan’s thumb starts making lazy trails down my arm and goosebumps break out all over my chest. Damn man has the touch, I tell ya.

“Er, well, I’m kinda busy.” I aver, ignoring Tristan’s choked cough when Ty grinds his teeth and takes a deep breath. “Um, I should probably introduce you guys to my family since you’ve never met huh. Ty, Rus these are my brothers and their ladies.” I say, pointing everyone out and waiting as Rus shakes hands and kisses the women with a smile while my brothers scowl.

“Rox, I really would like to talk to you,” Ty tries again, making my resolve crack a little.

I’m just on the verge of folding when Mari kicks my shin so hard I feel my bone scream and let out a startled, pained gasp. I can’t scream, though God knows I want to cry as my eyes water and my breath gets trapped in my lungs.

“Remember the corn Rox. Corn.” She warns, her own shudder making me moan as the need to be alone with Ty wars with my need for survival.

“Uh, sure, why don’t you and Rus join us?” I say, latching on to the only other choice I have as Mari pastes a smile on her face and narrows her red eye at me.

“I think-”

“That would be great! Come on man, there’s no need for us to sit all the way over there if there’s space at this table and Rox isn’t pissed at you anymore. Hey Cam, dude how’d you like the game on ESPN last night?” Rus cuts in, making me want to kiss him in gratitude.

Although I could have so totally done without the reminder of what occurred last week thank you very much. Ty sits, to my right at the end of the table and I feel my body go soft when he leans in closer, his face so intent I almost can’t resist the urge to look into his eyes.

“Hey Ty! Boy am I glad to see you! Gray told me about your ex and how you’ve been working with her all week and even went to lunch with her.” Mari trills, making my eye twitch a little as fury hits me.

He went to lunch! The rat bastar-

“It was a business meeting Mari.”

She flaps a hand and tuts, her acting skills so freaking good I can’t help but wonder what she’s doing off the stage. Why am I even surprised? Evil does have many faces.

“Ah, the good old business excuse. I googled her name and god help me, if I wasn’t so on love with Gray I would go girl.”

I hear a muffled shriek from the phone and a commotion that sounds like Ro having a nervous breakdown and have to fight a chuckle when Ty frowns and looks around for the source of that demon snarl.

“It was business plain and simple so don’t go putting things out of context Mari.” He warns. “Rox, can I just-”

“Let’s go dancing!” Polly yells from the end of the table, throwing me a wink just as Tegan slides a hand down my hip and squeezes.