Rox

I’m a nervous wreck as I hobble out of the salon and check right and left to make sure the coast is clear as mama pays the bill and comes bustling out behind me. After Thursday’s dinner and three hours spent dodging Ty at the club, I finally managed to scuttle home when Cam led him on a wild goose chase to the ladies room. I have spent my time doing nothing but work, dodge Ty’s calls and drive mama nuts.

It was around three yesterday afternoon that I was sitting at my desk, minding my own damn business when the darn man strode into the office, looking like a conquering hero with a mission.

I just about had a stroke at the sight of all that manly goodness wrapped in a well tailored suit until I realized he was about to ruin all my carefully laid plans and bomb my whole project. Can’t have that because I mean, I totally wanna win in the end and for me the whole prize is Tyson, realizing he loves me and wants it all with me.

Marriage. Babies. My crazy ass family and the woman who claims to be my mother.

Plus, well I mean he hurt my feelings and making him suffer a little is not too much to ask is it? So instead of being mature, yeah, as if anyone in my gene pool even knows what that means, I ducked down beneath the desk and silently implored Jesse not to let on where I was.

I almost screamed when he came around the desk to check my appointment book but I persevered and didn’t let on all the while praying that he wouldn’t see me cowering just inches away from his shoes.

Eventually he huffed out a curse and left, allowing me to crawl out of my hiding place with a sheepish grin as women all around me looked on at his retreating back and that magnificent ass.

After that I pretty much accepted that my guy is a dirty player and I had to do something I have excelled at my whole life. I cheated. My boss, that rat bastard Riley only gave up a token protest when I put in leave, reminding him that he’s a pig and deserves scorn for the way he treated me. And okay, maybe I threatened to tell his new wife about his secret meetings with the new copy girl and he kinda just caved.

Getting out of the building was not easy I’ll tell ya, but I can thank my years of sneaking into the nun’s laundry room to put itching powder in their soap for the stealthy way I managed to avoid him seeing me.

All it took was crab scuttling behind a large woman who was getting onto the bus-no easy feat with my skirt and the four inch heels I was wearing. Of course that left little to no modesty and after blinding a poor guy that walked passed and saw my goods, I finally caved and told mama I needed to go for a wax.

“Jesus, Mary and all that is holy Roxeletta! That poor woman had to use double strips to clean you up girl! You’re damn lucky they didn’t ban you after I begged Regina to give you a free pass! What were you trying to do, grow a pelt?” mama hisses, adjusting her blonde wig and sunglasses with a sniff.

I chortle at the disgruntled sigh and fluff my short red wig with a wink as I try to walk with my legs open and avoid detection all at the same time.

“It wasn’t that bad.”

“It was frightening. Why if I let things go that badly your father-”

“For the love of God mama, I do not need to hear this.” I plead as I fall into the passenger seat, my crotch howling for an ice pack and ibuprofen.

“Well, I’m just saying. That was a nightmare.”

“No a nightmare would be me watching you getting your balls waxed.”

She sniffs and sucks her teeth, casting me a look as she floors the car and makes her way over to Ro’s house while lecturing me about my lack of decency and the state of her soul. According to mama, my love for a heathen, her words not mine, is going to send her to an early grave.

I told her that if I’d known how to do this years ago I’d have married the protestant boy down the road and called it good. I got a slap for that and she climbed into papa’s brandy.

Supper was burnt but good and Cam almost fell off the chair laughing when she started signing Danny Boy and gave my father cow eyes. All while he sat at the table in his black undies and brown socks. If you ask me, that right there should be a mood killer but apparently the colour does it for her because I had Cam cursing me an hour later when we all huddled in my room with the sound turned up high to escape the goings on down the hall.

It sickens me to acknowledge that my papa has game between the sheets and poor Justin was ready to have a fit when mama yelled ‘You know how I like that Marvin!’

I don’t need to know what that was. Ever.

It was so horrific I didn’t even mind when my brothers fell asleep in my room, even if their socks reeked so much I had to shove two tampons up my nose to stop gagging.

“We’re here. Now remember what I told you Rox. Don’t piss her off. The last time you did that I had to set Agnes on her to keep her away from our house. She scares me Rox and you don’t want mama scared do you?”

I refrain from answering since my wax job stops me from running at full speed and slam out of the car with a sigh.

“Get in here, we’ve been waiting.” Lizzie snarls as I open the door and walk into the living room.

The place is full of my women and I take in a deep breath when I spot Roberta off in the corner, working on a doily while simultaneously chewing Ingram out about sexual indecency.

Ginny’s giggling as Rowena rolls her eyes and tries to take the baby away from her and my own mama is huffing out every breath as she trudges into the living room and falls into a seat, glaring at me with enough heat to singe my skin.

“You talk to her Lizzie. She keeps laughing at everything I say and just ignores my concerns.”

“Oh Marveline, you hush up now and calm it.”

Mama rolls her eyes as soon as Lizzie’s back is turned and I see Ro smirk just as the old witch calls this session to order.

“Right! We all know why we’re here. Roxeletta is having a time of it snagging a man.”

“You old bag!” I yell when she starts chortling and making comments about my boyish figure.

“You shut it or I’ll deactivate the phone tree and leave you to your own devices young lady.”

Ginny looks over at me and purses her lips to stifle a smile and I feel mama’s nails dig into my arm when Lizzie looks her way and shakes her head.

“I told you all them home remedies were going to addle her Marveline but did you listen to me?” she sighs, making mama pant so hard I hear her snarl before she can control herself.

I’m this close, this close to just saying screw it and stomping out when Mari strolls in, smiling as if she just won the lottery. Off a stolen ticket.

“Hello my peoples! Bow down to the goddess.” She says deeply, throwing a key at me with such a look of dark anticipation I immediately know that whatever this is about…

“I can’t do prison again Mari. It hardened my soul.”

Lizzie sucks her teeth and I hear Ginny giggle when she whacks me upside the head and threatens to have me tested.

“That wasn’t prison, it was an hour of time out. Now pull yourself together before your poor mama has a stroke. Mari. What are we lying to the fuzz about today girl?”

Oh God, I think when the blonde abomination just smiles and rubs her hands together, her eye sparking worse than even Lizzie’s.

“I’ve been thinking about your dilemma Rox and I think you’re right, competition is seriously overrated in this day and age.”

“Oh nooooo. No way, Mari,” I moan, backing up as she saunters in with a grin. “I already had morning mass after mama caught me with Ty’s shirt!”

That has mama crossing herself for the hundredth time since she walked in on me this morning and while I am deeply ashamed of my actions, I am also not going near that church again for at least two days! I can’t. The memories…

“Oh comeooon. It’s just a wittle key,” she weedles, making Ingram sit up and pay attention like the traitor she is.

“A keeeey?” she asks slowly, looking way too intrigued for my own good.

“A key,” Mari says solemnly, grinning from ear to ear. “A key I got from Billy O’Connel down at the Maitland building.”

“Please, Mari. Not again. Mama made oatmeal this morning, I’m too heavy to run,” I plead, groaning my doom when Ginny sits forward and starts tightening the laces on her sneakers.

“Oh goodie, I’ve been so bored lately, and Blay did say getting out will be good for me.”

“Now that’s what I like to hear! All my girls working out and staying fit.” Lizzie cackles, spelling my doom.

**************

Rox

“No Mari!”

“Oh shut up and keep your eyes peeled on that phone in case Billy calls with the signal.” Mari hisses as we all creep into one of the nicest apartments I have ever seen.

“Breaking and entering is a felony Mari.”

“Felony shmelony. It’s just a little looksee and besides Rox, tell me this isn’t all kinds of fun.”

Fun? Fun would be sitting at home, eating something bound to put ten pounds on my ass while I watch reruns of Mari’s wedding video and pretend that I’m not crying inside.

Fun would be putting nuts in mama’s food and watching her swell up like a chipmunk as payback for this morning’s mass. Fun would definitely be not sneaking into Cindy Gline’s apartment armed with a bag of God knows what while Ginny giggles hysterically and Ingram sneers at the coffee maker.

“Please don’t do this. We don’t know the woman and what if…”

“What if my ass! Did she hurt Ty’s feelings?”

“Well yes.” I whisper reluctantly, jumping with a muffled scream when a cat pads out of the living room and stands staring at us.

“Hmmm. And is this the same woman currently putting the moves on your man?” she asks slowly, making me rise from my crouch despite the fear dogging me.

“Yeah.” I say with more strength, feeling my eyes narrow.

“Aaaaand is this the very same woman who is not only working very closely with Ty but is also taking him to lunches? Lunches that could involve long looks and a rekindling of an old romance?”

That bitch! She deserves whatever she gets, I think as Mari grins and waves me over to the bathroom, her cackles making me twitch.

“Oh Mari.”

“I know right! And Marveline swore this shit works.”

I know, I think, equal parts gleeful and horrified as I watch Mari twist open an expensive looking tub of facial cream to mix with the Boil Blaster that is mama’s period remedy.

I should definitely feel guilty when she adds an extra dollop to the jar and then mixes it in but good, her smile so wide I fear for the child growing inside her.

Next is the bed, which according to Mari is the hotspot, the nexus of all our efforts. That puppy gets dusted with powder that is guaranteed to have Cindy scratching her body raw, no matter how bad it hurts.

When that’s done and Ing is through messing with make-up I turn to see Ginny skipping in in a pink dress and sneakers, her infectious grin wide and unrepentant.

“I dare her to not feel that coffee tomorrow morning.” She trills, making me cringe a little because as much as I dislike this chick, I have had first hand reports from Gray about Mari’s secret ingredient and I know, no one escapes that stuff.

“God, oh God,” I mutter, feeling my nerves renew so hard my pits start sweating again.

“Oh chill. Billy’s got the camera feeds all turned off and he’ll call-”

Just then my phone goes off, the Star Wars theme playing through the room as Mari freezes and we all look at each other in fear.

“Scatter.”

And we do. I don’t know why I run for the kitchen but I get there just in time as the front door clicks and the sound of heels clicks over the marble floor.

Sweet Jesus, I think with a wail as I crack the broom cupboard ever so slightly and peep out, dread and curiosity mixing as I scan the open Kitchen living room area for the sound of those footsteps.

When I see the chick Ty used to love, the one he wanted to marry, I just lose whatever will I have to live and feel defeat try to take hold. She’s gorgeous. Not like, pretty, oh you know I wish I had her tits or ass or anything. No, I mean she is like smoking hot to the nth degree and so freaking…glowy that even I find myself enraptured and wanting to smell her. Just to see if she’s real.

I’m so forlorn at the sight that it takes me all of a second to snap out of it when another person moves into view, making my heart stop right before vengeful fury hits me.

That soulless bastard! That unbelievable asshole. I’ll, I’ll…I can’t think what to do right now but one thing is for sure, by the time my brain starts working again I realize I’ve reached out to push the door open.

The only thing that saves me is Ginny’s head popping out from behind the couch, her frantic head shakes and wide eyes forcing me back into my hiding place.

“Let’s just get this over with Cindy. I have work to do and I don’t have time for this shit.” Ty says, running his hand over the right side of his face.

Seeing him do that, seeing the absolute lack of discomfort as he shows her that side of him after the way he keeps turning away from me has a little piece of me crying inside.

I feel so down and broken at the realization that he doesn’t mind letting her see him that part of me just lays down and taps out.

“Oh Ty, if you could just give me some time to explain everything I promise I won’t bother you again if that’s what you want.” she says stroking his arm in a familiar way that has me seeing red.

I, this….anger. All I can manage is anger and plans to tell my aunt Lizzie, I think, cackling inside at the hurting Ty is about to suffer. By the time I tell that red beast how this man has broken my tender heart.

“Fine. Talk then.”

“Oh Ty, can’t you just stop hating me for long enough to hear me out? We were so good together once, so in love that I know you can’t hate me completely.”

Say you hate her, I beg as the hooker runs her cloven paws over Tyson and looks at him with a tenderness that makes me swallow a scream of rage. Because he doesn’t move away or rebuff her. No, he just looks down at her hand and gets this weird expression on his face that I can’t decipher.

“We were good once. So good that I almost disowned my family to be with you.”

She met his parents? And, and he was willing to give up his family for her? I let off a little whimper at that and close my eyes as it filters in. Man oh man, this is so bad. So, so bad. I know Ty and from the way he talks about his mom and dad he loves them. A lot.

If he was willing to push them out of his life for this beast I can’t even imagine how I stand a hope in hell of winning here. I mean, sure I’m hot and amazing and I come with a zoo that includes my brothers, papa and that unidentifiable species known as Marveline Crocker.

But I don’t have what this chick does, something I wouldn’t want even if it wasn’t handed out for free on Black Friday. I don’t have that shine. Not that I’m not cool but come on! My mom believes that you can boil things in butter for God sakes and thinks that drinking water is for hippies.

I don’t shine. I can’t. My arteries are clogged just the way we like them.

“I know. And believe me, I still think about the way I acted and feel that shame. If I could turn back the clock I would make so much more of an effort with Misty and Frank and I would sit through Sunday dinners even if they didn’t like me. I would do it all so differently Ty.” She says softly, making even my throat ache at the longing in her voice. “It’s taken me a long time to come to terms with everything that was happening back then, but I have and I realized something that I can’t just ignore, no matter how hard it is to open myself this way. I still love you.”

Jesus, take me now. Save me from having to go back to my family and telling them that I lost the game before half time.

I’m so engrossed in my despair that when the blare of a fire alarm screams through the room I don’t even take note until Mari’s in front of me, her face set in frantic lines.

“Come on Rox! Billy can only keep them outside for so long before he has to let people back in!”

I’m numb as they pull me out of the apartment and into the emergency stairs. I don’t even argue when Mari shoves me into the parking garage and we all start sprinting. At this point, I don’t even care that it takes us over an hour to wait out the crowd before we can leave.

“Oh baby, don’t be sad.” She croons, stroking my hair softly, her voice a little sad and angry as I blink away tears and sigh deeply.

“I was so sure Mari. So sure I could get him.”

“I know baby, but you have to remember one thing, you may have lost this battle but that asshole ex of his is not going to be getting action when her face turns into a pus filled boil and she’s shitting down her too perfect legs.”