Russell

“Do we have a deal?”

I stand rigidly in my father’s office and watch as he smiles, that oily glee I am so familiar with making my hackles rise as he stands and walks over to slap my shoulder while he chuckles.

“Of course! I’ll have Lucy call legal and draw up the contracts immediately. While that’s being done I would like you to agree to attend some of the parties you mother is putting together to calm the investors down. With you there and promising to take the helm it should stop them from pulling their backing so we can stay afloat until things turn around.”

I grit my teeth to stop from hitting him and ignore the backslaps as he crows about his victory.

You’re probably confused because as far as nanna and Ing are concerned I am on board with her plans to let my family dig its own grave. And I would, I would stand back and enjoy the show while watching my family crash and burn and be turned into paupers.

But for the fact that this company was created by my great grandfather and has been in the Mark family ever since. Nanna may not say it but watching my father and his leeches drain it dry and run it into the ground must be killing her. Especially after she worked so hard at grandpa’s side to save it when the economy suffered twenty years ago.

I was there, I played at my grandpa’s knee while he burned the midnight oil and taught me everything about business. I was the one who listened to him while he agonised over letting people go or cutting the bonuses of the executives he relied on so heavily.

He taught me about weighing loss and profit in times where losing a few hundred grand was better than throwing good money after bad. He taught me how to make money, lose money and above all else do business with integrity while viewing the bottom line.

No way in hell will I allow these assholes to ruin his legacy, even if it means that I have to toe the line until I can shove them out of the door.

I’ve been over the accounts, read through the reports and cursed over the contracts that have drained money from the coffers for over ten years since grandpa passed away and my father stepped up.

Quite frankly I wouldn’t let my father and his VP run a coffee shop or scoop the freaking beans without supervision. I suspected embezzlement at first and hoped like hell it was, but the sad truth is that my father is incompetent, plain and simple.

So here I am. Doing what I have to do because no fucking way will nanna lose her home, the home she shared with my grandpa, the bed she shared with him, none of it.

No. She’ll have it all for what is left of her life. And I’ll give up the one thing that means everything to me because I would never expose Ingram to the life I left behind.

“Let your secretary call mine with the details and I’ll schedule it in. For now I’m taking the next three to four weeks to close out the deals I’m involved in and set up a replacement in my position. Don’t push me harder father. I’ve agreed to your terms and I expect you to honour them but I still have a responsibility to my partners and I will fulfil them before leaving them hanging. You got that?

“Whatever. As long as you’re at the parties and schmoozing the board and the investors I don’t care. Just don’t take too long Russell, Mark Enterprises needs you at the helm.”

“Yes it does, because you’re incompetent and don’t know the first thing about running a company anywhere but into the ground,” I mutter, turning to walk out while he blusters and curses at me beneath his breath.

An hour later as I sit in my office and stare blindly out of the window, I don’t see the view, the dipping sun or even the bay in the distance. All I see is Ingram’s face, a sight I know will haunt me for a long time to come.

***********

Ingram

The smell of an approaching rainstorm is thick in the humid air as I skip into Russell’s apartment building and throw a wave to Lonny, the doorman.

“He’s in a bear of a mood tonight sweet thing!” he yells as I enter the elevator and hit the button for the top floor.

“Thanks for the heads up. Mama said to tell you she made chocolate porcupines for the little ones and daddy will drop them at your place in the morning.”

Lonny grins at that and gives a shudder of relief that makes me giggle as the door closes and the elevator starts to rise. Mama and Lonny took to each other when she came over here to visit Rox one day. Yeah, trust me sneaking into a building where my cousin lives while conducting an affair with my guy was not ideal, especially not with mama and the other hell hounds dropping by without notice. One time I even heard mama at Rus’s door, yelling at Lizzie that she smelled something familiar before Lizzie told her it was her crusty ass and dragged her away.

Mama bakes a lot for her pals and my daddy is the delivery boy, a convenient coincidence since the poor man drives a cab nine hours five days a week.

I’m grinning by the time I reach Rus’s apartment because I had to threaten to hogtie mama and gag her with one of Obin or Ricky’s socks to convince her to stay at home and only grill Russell at Thursday night dinner tomorrow.

God, I think the poor man may be in for it when that happens because true to form, my mama’s eyes started glowing and daddy had to pat her head to keep the snakes from slithering around and hissing. Oh Rus, you poor baby, I think with a giggle as I get off at his floor and shuffle down the hall juggling Italian and a box of the porcupines I stole while mama was tied up.

Let’s stop here for a minute okay, so I can explain something. I totally love Russell again, well not again but I mean I totally love him and last night after a very hard round of sex and some cuddling, I thought about my situation and decided screw it, I forgive him.

That’s not usually me but as Tink and Mari explained when I crept out of his apartment and had a meltdown before running home and calling them at three twenty seven, it’s more than okay for me to grow a heart at this late date in life.

Sorta like that Straw guy from that Oz movie. Mari laughed her ass off. Tink hung up when I started crying-while laughing. And Rox just did something that made Ty grunt sleepily and start checking her temperature because it’s so out of character. The poor dear said forgiveness and love are the cornerstones of life.

When I called and told Lizzie, she just grunted like a pig and said one of us was bound to end up in the loony bin and Rox was always her choice since she’s soft.

But enough of that, the whole point is that I love Rus and I’m letting everything he did to me go because I want to be all gross and mushy and spend the rest of my life with him.

So here I am. I even bought a lucky packet ring on my way here because Mari said I should lock that shit down fast and I so am. I think a little Italian, good wine and chocolate should set just the right mood for bended knee, doncha think.

“Russell?” I yell as I unlock the door-I tracked down my little friend and after some hard negotiation with a bottle of booze and death threats, he gave the key back.

I don’t get an answering yell or see him sauntering out of his indoor gym so I juggle the food and dump it in the kitchen before kicking my flats off and skipping over to his bedroom.

Nope. Not here. Huh. I called his secretary and left a message so it’s a little weird to show up when he knows I’m coming over. It was part of our sex deal after all and…

I scrunch my nose when a search shows an empty apartment before grabbing my phone and calling him. Over and over again. Each time I do I get voicemail and the oddest sensation that something isn’t right.

And then I wait. I wait so long that my stomach starts growling and I’m forced to start eating my cold dinner and accept that my date night is ruined because I’ve been stood up. Then as another two hours passes and it hits eleven I eat all the cookies and flop down on the couch in just my panties and a sports bra because, well let’s face facts, there was an entire bottle of wine and no way did I stop at one or two glasses when I’m sulking and on the verge of angry tears.

He stood me up! And he’s avoiding my calls, I think a little fuzzily as I huff out a vile curse that would make Mari wet her pants with respect. I’m not drunk, just very loose and pliable as I lay and wait for Russell, my feelings really and truly hurt as minutes tick by with still no sign of him.

And okay, maybe I have like two shots of his whiskey, the stuff that’s all old and fancy and is sitting on his bar in pride of place because he swore never to open it. What! He stood me up, he deserves to suffer a little. It’s only when I down the third and start plotting where to hide his corpse that I hear the door open and see him walk in.

He’s dressed in a tux, which by the way….hoooooot! I have never been into the fancy clothes or polished guys but God help me, my snatch takes one look at all that hot man and I think I may just have acquired a fetish.

I’m still pissy, give me a break, but I’m willing to let him suffer in the morning because hot damn-

“Ingram?” he barks as I sidle away from the bar and right up to him, my whole body alight with lust, love and a need to do things to him that would make a holy woman faint.

I don’t say a word, mostly because I’m struggling not to sigh through a puddle of drool. Instead I grab his neck and pull him down for a kiss that makes me pant and moan with pleasure.

His tongue comes out to touch mine and I feel him suck at me before I deepen it and totally ravish his mouth. The kiss is wet and carnal as our mouths slide together and I’m so into it I’m surprised when he pulls away and pants for breath.

“We need to talk Ing.”

Talk? No. I don’t want to talk because then I’ll be mad and hurt and we won’t have sex. I want sex. Now. With him. Because I have this weird ache in me that I can’t explain and its making me feel desperate.

So I do something Russell can’t resist. I drop to my knees after loosening his pants and open my mouth over his cock before he can utter another breath.

The salty taste of his silky shaft rips a moan from me and I feel him stiffen before he groans and shoves his fingers into my hair, pulling me closer as ecstasy takes him.

“Yes, baby, ung, use your tongue on the head.”

I do just that, twisting and twirling my tongue over his tip, my delight manifesting as a moan when I dip into the slit and taste pre-come oozing onto my tongue.

The taste is intoxicating, my new favorite flavor and I show him this when I moan and palm the hard shaft, using the saliva streaming from my mouth as I start stroking him with every suck, thoroughly loving the growling sounds that come from him.

“That feels so good, God yes, suck harder. That’s it baby, play with my balls. Fuck.” He grunts when I keep going, playing with him while my mouth starts lifting on and off his succulent stalk, my only aim now to get him so hard and hot for me he won’t want to do anything but ravish me right back.

Rus starts pumping his hips the harder I suck and lick at him, his throaty groans overlapping the sound of wet suction and my moans of need. I’m so wet now, just from pleasuring him I can’t help but writhe as my desire grows stronger, hotter, burning a path to my sex as I clench and start grinding my hips, pumping air.

“Take more. Faster. Suck harder.” He barks, pumping his hips now as I obey him and use my mouth to make him wild.

It’s always this way with Rus. He commands, demands and totally owns everything, every part of me whenever we touch. It’s compelling, addictive and mind blowing to realize that I need this part of him, want him to control me even as I pleasure him.

Before long I feel his hands tighten in my hair and that knowledge that he’s gotten even harder and on the verge of coming makes my arousal burn harder as my sex tightens, begging for him to fill me.

“Stop. Fuuuck, you gotta pull off before I come babe. Shit. Ung. Swallow!” he roars as he stiffens and tightens his fists in my hair, his breath trapped in his lungs as he explodes, his seed filling my mouth and streaming down my throat as I swallow and suck again, wanting more.

I don’t know how it happens but when I open my eyes next I’m on his bed and Russell is a madman as he rips my underwear and bra away, his face set in stone as he roughly shoves my legs open and lowers his mouth to me.

Bliss hits me hard, so hard I cry out and scream when he uses his thumbs to spread my lips and latches onto my clit. His mouth is hot and ravenous as he tongues me, sucking on my bundle with strong tugs that have me stiffening with every pull.

“Oh, yes. That’s, right there!” I wail when his teeth clamp around my clit and that tongue of his starts flicking it rapidly.

Heat builds and pools in my belly, expanding, growing to a pulsing scream as sensations build. I get wetter. More forceful. Shove my sex into his mouth so hard I feel his teeth scrape into my flesh.

And I want more.

Russell knows this, knows me and exactly what I need and I do scream his name when he raises his head to look down at me just as one thick finger slips through my soaked slit and thrusts into me, hard.

Sweat gathers as he starts pulling the digit out and pushing in again, his thumb pressing into my clit with every withdrawal and re-entry. It feels so perfect and right I can’t resist the need to ride his hand as he lowers his head and sucks my nipple deep into his mouth.

“Rus.”

“Hmmm. You’re always so wet for me Ing. So hot and slippery. Oh yeah, squeeze my finger. Show me how good I make you feel.” He groans, curling his finger through my clenching depths to hook it deep inside where my pleasure centre is.

I almost explode when he curls the tip and massages me roughly while slamming his finger deeper. It’s perfect and rough and everything I’ve been missing from my caveman as he dominates my pleasure and sends me into orgasmic bliss, moving down to taste it as I come so hard I see stars and feel my limbs go lax.

“Oh god, I love you.” I breathe as I float down and sprawl to the bed, my body so sated and relaxed I don’t think I could move an inch if a tornado struck.

Rus tenses above me and rips his mouth away, halting the adoring licks he always gives me after a thorough loving and I open my eyes to see him push off and stumble to his feet, his face going stark as he swallows.

“You don’t. You said this was just sex.”

Um. Okay. I….

“I was hurt when I said that babe. And a lot angry at us both for not being able to get over it. I came to my senses sometime last night after you wore me out and snored in my ear.” I say softly, my lips twisting as shyness washes over me. “I, I kinda think I may just, possibly be so in love with you I can’t ever move on from it. I definitely understood exactly how much when mama started screaming and only calmed down when I promised her grandchildren.”

Which was surprisingly okay. I didn’t even feel a glimmer of panic or the need to run. Which I usually do, even when Tink tries to con me into babysitting her daughter. I mean I love the kid but she makes mad smells and drools a lot.

But having my own babies? With Russell? I feel oddly excited. Maybe in like two years when I’m not terrified of the thought of diapers and-

“The deal was sex Ingram.”

I almost snort and laugh but freeze completely when I look up at his face and see his eyes go hard. I‘ve only ever seen that look once and it was the one he gave me when I schooled his nanna about having a better poker face.

I, I’m more than a little confused when instead of coming closer to me, he pulls his pants back on and stalks out of the room with a bark for me to dress and follow him.

Okay. I mean, maybe he did have a really bad day.

“Rus?”

My voice is a hesitant croak as I move into the living room and I feel my skin go ice cold when he turns from the bar an looks right through me.

“I’ve been thinking and you were right Ingram, we are way too different to make anything of this relationship. The sex is great, don’t get me wrong but beyond that I don’t see this going anywhere. I want someone I can take to business dinners and not have to worry about what you’ll say or whether you’ll tell one of your stories about your mother. I need a partner, not a good lay who doesn’t know how to behave in a public setting.”

My breath stalls as the words fill the air and I feel a tightening in my chest as it filters in. I, I’m pretty sure he’s saying all these things just to hurt me and as it settles I feel my anger rise high.

“Russell, babe I get that you’re not in a great place because of your family but I’m here! We’ll get through this together, with love and a lot of nefarious intent, just like we said the other night. Don’t, don’t push me away just because-”

“I don’t want you!” he yells before I can take another step closer, the way he flinches away from my touch making me cringe and yank my hand back. “What don’t you fucking get about that? It’s just sex.”

“But you came after me and…”

Rus laughs and I go a little colder inside as my anger dies and the complete lack of emotion on his face finally forces me to pull back. I have the terrible urge to cry and throw myself at him but I shove it aside and fight the tears gathering in my eyes as I force myself to face him.

“I never lose Ingram, I told you that a long time ago. I see something I want and I take it. You fought me every step of the way and made me want you all the more but now that you’re caught, It’s not all that exciting. Where do we go from here?” he asks, laughing darkly as he tosses a look at the kitchen and flicks his wrist derisively.

“Rus-”

“You came over with dinner and dessert and planned to what? Seduce me? So that’s maybe two hours of entertainment done? Then what? We watch T.V and I listen to you heckle the actors until you get tired and fall asleep. Sounds really great Ingram. Only, it’s the exact opposite of what I signed up for so I’ve been thinking and I decided that I don’t want anything more.”

“Bullshit! You told me you love me Russell. You said we are more than just sex and empty beds.”

We are? Aren’t we? I mean I didn’t want this at first and I get where he’s coming from. I was scared too before I admitted to myself that I don’t want clubs and bars and one night stands. It wasn’t exactly great to realize that I fell hard and fast and want more than meaningless hook-ups. I want dinner, yes dinner, no matter how boring it sounds because I want to ask him about his day and pretend to listen to him drone on about business.

I want making love, not just sex only to roll out of his bed and go home to an empty, cold apartment. I want…more. And he promised me more. He said he loves me. I didn’t imagine that and God…

“I do love you Ing, I really do babe. You’re one of my best friends. You’re a great laugh and when I’m with you, you’re a good distraction, but I don’t need distraction now, I need to focus and get my life on track.”

“What about, what about all that stuff you spouted last night about wanting marriage and kids and, and all that stuff?” I whisper, pushing away the pain growing in my chest.

Of all the things I could imagine happening, of all the ways I have ever thought this relationship could bite the dust, I never once thought it would be Russell not wanting me.

Irony. God I hate that fucking word! Because it’s so apt. In fact it’s apt in every situation he and I have ever argued. He never told me he loved me until I walked, and now I’m telling him the very same thing and he’s running.

I always said no marriage or children and here I am with a ring, albeit a really crappy one, and he’s telling me I’m not good enough for him. Which by the way, hurts. A lot. Because the truth is, I’ve always been a little leery of this part of Russell. This money and privilege part I have no clue what to do with.

“I’ve thought about it all day and I realized, I do want them. With the right woman.” He says calmly, turning away to pour himself a drink.

He grimaces a little when he notices the expensive bottle I cracked but doesn’t say a word as he pours himself two fingers and turns to look back at me, completely calm, his expression a little regretful.

“It’s not that I don’t want you Ingram, I do.” He says, indicating the bulge in his pants with a rueful shake of his head. “I just have to think about the future and now that I got what I needed from you, it’s clear that this is all we have. We can keep doing this if that’s what you want, go back to you and I being friends and fuck buddies, but I won’t keep lying to myself or you just to get what I want.”

Don’t cry, and for God sakes, don’t beg him!

“You, you were the one who brought up commitment and marriage. What was all that about?” I ask softly, forcing myself not to go crazy and throw myself at him.

I’m not good at losing, it’s not my thing so the urge to tie him to the bed and beat sense into him is strong. What would it accomplish though? I’d feel like shit for looking so needy and from that glint in his eyes, I’d still come off losing, only way worse.

“It was me jumping on the band wagon. I see Blay and the others, happy and committed and I guess I realized how lonely I am. And I’m getting to the age where family is something I don’t want to miss out on. I just, you’re so great Ingram. Sexy. Smart. Funny. And you’re exciting to be with but when that’s all said and done, you’re not cut out to be what I need long term and I’d rather not lead you on. I’d like to remain friends because I do love you.” He says calmly, so kindly I have to grind my jaw with the need to yell some very mean things at him.

Friends? We can be friends and share sex until he moves on?

“So you want all those things, just not with a girl from the neighbourhood.” I say dully, biting my lip.

Russell closes his eyes and sighs, a gesture I’ve seen a million times when he’s searching for patience and I feel my heart go stone cold. Suddenly I feel exposed in my bra and panties, naked in a way that makes me feel vulnerable and ugly. I’ve never felt this way with him before and it sucks, because I know I can’t ever forget it.

“Not because I don’t think you’re not good enough!” he rushes out, coming closer, his hand stretched out.

I can’t let him touch me, not and stay together so I flinch away and watch as he curls his hand into a fist and swallows.

“You’re perfect just as you are Ingram.”

“Just not for you.”