Rox

I do not need to be here I think as I snarl at Mari and her cackling and ignore mama’s imploring looks while I sidle over to Joe who is and has always been the most normal human being in this family. Even if his back hair reaches out to you like ghostly hands. And his dick is saying hello in that tiny speedo.

Gotta love a guy who’s confident enough to wear a speedo. Papa once told me he used to be normal until mama. Now he’s just a poor fool who shoves his nuts into a tiny piece of cloth because it makes mama happy.

Lucky old bag!

“Hey Joey!” I trill, pretending that being here for a pool party, and by pool party I mean a dip in biohazard material, doesn’t suck ass.

I’m crabby. I haven’t gotten passed Saturday night and I’ve been on edge ever since I woke up and realized that I am screwed, screwed, screwed if one of my family knows about The Call.

I know Ty would never rat me out. We may not be together or anything but the guy is decent and doesn’t want me to pull a murder suicide on the sixty or so people that make up the closest of our combined families.

But Lizzie and the Ro’s, they have powers so you can forgive me for being shit scared okay.

“Hey Roxy girl, you’re looking good in that two piece. How’s life?”

Shitty. I thought about getting an apartment to just escape mama and save her from an early grave but after looking at my finances and the nest egg I’ve managed to save I calculated that it would only take me like fifteen years to save enough for a deposit.

That made me want to hit the basement tool box again because I think papa replaced his stash-he gave me funny looks and eventually snuck down there at one point on the weekend-but I held off because remember, I’m mature now.

“Okay I guess. Nothing new except Cam knocked up Lulu Bates and the asshole is so pleased with himself he hasn’t stopped grabbing his crotch and congratulating it.

Cam has secretly been in love with little Lu for years, despite her rejections and he finally succeeded at nailing her down a few weeks ago when he saw her at a club celebrating a friend’s bachelorette or something.

Lulu is a straight-laced no nonsense woman who doesn’t really ping the radar since she works in the church offices and hangs with nuns all day. Cam’s been vowing to debauch her and make her wild for years and when he saw her, well let’s just say that Cam for all his wildness really loves Lu and took his chance when he saw it.

Now Lu’s knocked up and not too high and mighty, especially since Cam’s not one to take no for an answer and seems completely okay with making Lu know that she loves him. Even if she doesn’t know it.

Lord, I love my brothers. They’re nuts and great and papa is obscenely proud that the family tradition is going strong.

“That’s good. I like her, even if she’s one of them vegans.”

We both titter at that because Cam’s either going to suffer for his love, or Lu is gonna learn to love meat. In her state that’s pretty telling I think lewdly. You gotta excuse me, I’m mature now but I’m still a person and I have to take amusement where I can these days.

Joe just grunts and we keep shooting the breeze about nothing in general when I hear a round of gasps and then outright snickers. I curl my lip because I don’t even want to know what they could possibly find amusing but Joe just grins, takes my shoulders and turns me around.

There, standing at the back door wearing a tiny bright green speedo, his huge muscles and blessings on display is my man. He looks so uncomfortable it’s painful to watch, especially when Mari lets off a catcall and tells him to work that ass.

He looks so uncomfortable that when he finally meets my gaze and smiles, I feel my world start spinning again. He’s here for me, throwing the game in the biggest way he can and man oh man is it spectacular. So much in fact that I can’t stop grinning as Joe chortles and pokes me with his elbow, his belly jiggling like a bowl of jello.

“Yeah baby, show them what your mama gave ya!” Mari yells, laughing when Gray growls and slaps her ass.

And Ing.

“I’ll pay good money Ty, hoo baby!”

I laugh. So hard I feel my lips tremble as tears start flowing down my cheeks. I can’t help it.

Ty looks about ready to die. Or kill. Himself. But he sucks it up and stomps my way, his face blazing beneath the continued stares as people start clapping and throwing him wolf whistles. When he reaches me I’m so ready to burst I have to force myself stay still, not to throw myself at him and scandalize my mama.

“Roxeletta Crocker I am so in love with you it makes me burn. You’ve run me ragged, kicked my ass to hell and back and then some more and cheated like hell the entire time I’ve known you. I don’t know if it’s even possible to survive playing against you so I won’t even try. I’d rather play with you.” He grins, giving me a wink when papa let’s out another whistles and pumps his fist. “I’ve seen you tinkle and heard you sing and I love you so much I won’t even think about how truly awful that was.”

Damn your awesome lyrics Jon bon Jovi, you perfect specimen.

“I messed up, was messed up for a long time but you’ve made me see that no matter how hard things get or how hard I have to fight, nothing feels better than fighting for you. Please, if you can’t find it in your heart to forgive me at least give me a penalty shot and put me out of my misery. I’d be the luckiest asshole alive if you’d let me be yours and be mine forever.”

And then he takes out a rock that I just know it broke his miserly heart to buy me. Because he loves me and wants my crazy forever. Even knowing mama.

I can hardly speak through the happy giggles I can’t hold in because one, Ty looks great in a speedo and will forever more be wearing one. I get it now Lizzie! Two, the man is making Ian do a double take and cup his junk. Three. Well I just won that fucking game and took the whole shebang.

“I love you too, even if I have to live with your nasty dog and pretend that I like Britney Spears. You’d better marry me Tyson, because I don’t know if I could play another game without you by my side.”

He doesn’t need anything more than that and I’m kissing him moments later and giggling through my tears as Lizzie sidles up and throws me a wink.

“You owe me for setting Finn up with Fayette. That poor boy deserves better than what I did to him.”

I owe her for so much more I think as I kiss Ty, ignoring Frankie’s lewd cries for grandchildren and mama’s huffs about letting one of them others into the family.

I kiss him and just bask in the love because with Tyson Fox tamed and at my mercy I can finally throw in the towel a call it all good.

*********

Ty

“I didn’t know you had it in you man but fuck me if I don’t want to blind myself right now. Your dad is small dude, where’d you get that thing?” Blay grunts as we stand on the side lines and I try not to feel like a schmuck with my nuts hanging out for every pervert female in this family to see.

Lizzie keeps giving me looks and cackling and my mom brought out a baby picture that proves I have always been this blessed. I hate this shit and just about considered running when Rox slapped my ass and informed me that she’d be throwing away my trunks and buying me speedos in every colour.

Damn woman! I’d say no but after the things she whispered in my ear after that declaration I’d wear just about anything. Dirty girl.

“Shut up. I heard Tink say she’s considering one for you.”

Blay pales and I chuckle when he speeds over to his wife and daughter and seems to be begging her for mercy. Joe sidles over and stands quietly as we watch Lizzie point at Ro’s bikini line and throw her hands up in disgust while Cece giggles at Stevie because dead to rights, that man’s nuts just cannot stay under wraps in that flesh coloured speedo.

“You did good man. Hey, can I ask you a favour?”

“Sure.” I say, taking a slug of beer as I see Ingram and Rus in a heated argument that seems to be escalating despite their whispered hisses at each other. I’m not even going there after I caught Rus talking to Gray’s uncle the other day. That Judge is shifty but he sure is useful.

“Uh, could you be my best man?” Joe asks softly, smiling at my shock when I spin around and gape at him.

“Best man? You’re getting married? Jesus Joe we haven’t even met this girl yet. How do we know she’s good enough buddy?” I bark, thrilled and so surprised that I can’t help flapping my lips at him in wonder.

He chortles, his belly rolling and I totally feel him when he asks me…

“You think I’d risk her meeting Lizzie before I got her down that aisle man? I may be a fool but I’m not stupid.”

I totally get that.

“I’d be honoured Joe. Honoured.” I whisper, shaking his hand and pulling him in for a hug.

I get Tink’s aversion when I pull back and end up sporting a lot of his hair but I love the guy, he’s just cool.

“Thanks and you know, once Rox pops out that kid she doesn’t know about yet, I could be a shoe in for names?”

“What?”

I turn to look at Rox just as Joey starts chuckling and see her freeze before bolting for the house at a dead run her face a sickly shade of green.

“Hot damn that boy takes after his daddy.” My dad yells, making me shudder when I hear Rox start gagging for long minutes and then shriek like a banshee.

“Tyson Fox you virile bastard!”

I’m grinning as everyone starts toasting and watching Lizzie high five Marveline while the family celebrates all around me. Mari keeps cackling and looking at Ingram and I just feel plain sorry for that woman as she downs a beer and storms away from Rus.

And Rox, she’s come storming outside, throwing me glares while glowing beneath her green tinted skin.

It’s been a wild ride, one that’s brought me to this place in life where I’m whole, happy and looking to a future that holds nothing but promise and the guarantee of even more adventure. Rox is mine for keeps. I’ve won, even after throwing the game and I get to spend the rest of my life living every day from minute to minute.

Is it any wonder that I’m wildly in love.