Gray

“She’s going to shit a brick, Gray,” Blay says, his grin so big I can see his back teeth.

We’re in his office, the regular Monday morning meeting spot and Ty and Rus are both present, making quick work of the breakfast I bought while my cousin chortles his ass off and shakes his head at me.

I talked to my dad and Uncle last night and as far as I am concerned operation Groom is a go. I have the licence all sewn up, a dress that mama altered on her sewing machine and a smile on my face now that I know how to win my woman.

I’m gonna steal her, marry her and then kick her dad’s ass to death for touching my little sour apple. Fucker.

“So? Mari is always mad. And cranky. I like that about her. It means that when she’s sweet it’s so much more to appreciate.”

“If she lets you live to appreciate it.” Ty mumbles around a mouthful of food.

The man eats like it’s his last meal. Always. And it’s fucking nasty.

“Shut up. She’ll love me asshole. Anyway, how’s Rox? Still calling you and telling you about her boyfriend?” I taunt, grinning darkly.

“Fuck off.” Ty has a massively embarrassing crush on Rox, the little brunette that just happens to be my Mari’s cousin.

It’s so bad that the idiot has let her friend him and listens to her crying about some guy she’s dating. Me? I’d have killed him, disposed of his body and then gone to get my girl.

Ty though, he’s got this burn scar on his face, the result of being trapped in a burning car when he was sixteen. It took him months to recover and even then, the scars aren’t going away. The ones inside and outside.

The guy is self-conscious to an unhealthy degree and as far as I know hasn’t actually fucked a woman since his ex suggested they do something about his face.

My mom took care of that bitch after we cleaned Ty up and he got sober. But it left an impression on my best friend that I doubt will ever heal completely.

“You should go for her. She doesn’t seem like a girl who cares about what a guy looks like. Just look at the mutt she’s dating. It looks like his mother macrimed potatoes to his neck,” Rus garbles around his own burger.

Ty shrugs and looks away, turning the right side of his face to hide his scars.

“We’re not talking about me anyway. What are you going to do once you trick Mari into marrying you? She doesn’t seem like she’ll be happy, Gray, and I don’t want you to get hurt. You may have fairy tales swimming around in your head but I’m a realist. She could just not want you.”

My ass. I’m great. Who wouldn’t want me? I’m good looking, no offense to anyone who thinks that’s vain but screw off. I am. I look like mom and dad and those two are hot. I have eyes.

I am rich. I have a shit ton of money and can do anything I want on a daily basis. I’d give Mari a good life.

And I’m great in bed. I know exactly how to treat a woman and to make it all that much worse, I’m charming and funny. In short I am a catch. Just because I never let anyone catch me before does not mean I’m a player for life.

I’ve just been waiting for the perfect woman and for me, that’s Mari. I want her so bad I haven’t fucked a woman since I laid eyes on her and I won’t.

I only want her.

Mom used to laugh at me when I was a kid because I am such a romantic I planned my own wedding. I have an album with the right flower arrangements all ready and waiting. The cake. The dress. I even put a down payment to book the same band mom and dad used at their wedding.

Now that I’ve found her, I want it all. Even if I have to steal the bride.

“She wants me. I see it every time I pretend to ignore her and flirt with another woman. You should see those demon eyes go dark and hard man, I’m telling you, this will work.”

“Fine. Christ. You’re such a fucking pussy. Are you going to tell Mari that your wimp ass already planned the wedding in the womb? What the hell was your mother eating to make a loser like you?”

I flip Ty the bird and ignore Blay’s chuckles, steepling my fingers against my chin to consider the menu again. Mari will be too wasted to care but I think Tink might like some steak. And Lizzie likes chocolate mousse.

“Shut your mouth and keep eating, pig, I need to think.”

“About tampons and getting your legs waxed?” Rus goads.

“I don’t need to wax, ask Blay. We George’s are a smooth bunch. Not like you Rus. Christ, did your mother fuck a werewolf or what?”

Blay snorts out coffee all over his desk and struggles to avoid eye contact with Rus.

“Screw you. But listen, seriously, Ty is right. What happens if Mari wakes up and rejects you? I hate to say this but she hasn’t exactly been all that accepting of your stalker charm man.”

I know. It’s a sad day when you watch the woman you love go up to her apartment with a different man every night. It broke my heart the first five times I saw it and then I just had to force myself to accept that she isn’t doing anything wrong. She doesn’t know she’s mine yet so to her it’s all just fair.

I got over my anger and even managed a laugh when she sent me a basket of horse shit in response to the flowers I sent her. Okay, so maybe the card shouldn’t have been wrapped around an STI flier, but I’m human okay.

And she did laugh! I watched her laugh at reception when she signed for the delivery. That was a good day because I knew then that she was perfect for me in every way. She gets my sense of humour and follows with something that makes me laugh too.

So yeah. Me and Mari. It’s gonna happen.

“You blab to Tink yet?” I ask Blay when he’s cleaned up and relaxed again.

“And get a baseball bat to the head while I’m sleeping? No fucking thank you.” He sputters, shaking his head frantically. “Your business.”

“But you’ll come to the wedding day after tomorrow?” I press.

I need him there. Blay’s been my best friend since I realized he wasn’t a little dipshit like his dad and I have loved him ever since. We’ve lived like brothers, played like bothers and I just know that I will never get through something like this without him. Especially not if Mari resists the drugs.

I’ll die crying and alone, a hell demon standing over me with a smile on her beautifully evil face.

“Of course. You think I’d miss seeing Mari stumble down the aisle to Andrea Bocchelli?” he snorts, making my eyes narrow.

“He’s a fucking genius.”

“Whatever, my lady friend, whatever. Besides, I can’t wait to see Lizzie’s face when she takes the photos. That is one evil woman. I still can’t believe she’s helping your ass. What does she see in you?”

I grin boyishly and shrug, adoring his jealous scowl and the slight shudder that works its way through him at the mention of his mother in law.

It’s a fact that Lizzie Egan both loves and hates Blay. She tortures him on a regular basis with no help from Tink who usually just shrugs and tells him to fight his own battles with Satan since she’s had twenty four years of it already.

I love Lizzie though, she reminds me of my mama. The first time I met Tink’s family I swear to God I almost shit my pants laughing at that dinner table. Her dad Ian wears his boxer shorts and vest to the table, with fucking socks and the biggest Goddamn work boots you ever did see.

I wrongly assumed he was shitting the world with those things until I caught a load of his dick in a speedo and fuck me, that thing is huge. To understand how contrary that is you gotta know what Ian looks like.

The man is thin, like model thin with this tiny little pooch belly that hangs over his shorts. He’s legs look like two white flag poles and he’s hairless, I’m talking smooth as a Goddamn cue ball under the neck.

He looks like a stiff wind could pick him up and carry him away. But that dick. I have nightmares about my own cock and its size after seeing that dude in a speedo and I know Blay flat out refuses to even talk about it.

“Well, I gotta go. I’m meeting with the pharmacist later. Gotta roofie my baby with the good stuff.”