Ingram

“Ingram Egan, get your ass down here.”

I hear mama yell up the stairs and snarl at the door as I roll from my bed and trudge out, my body protesting movement of any kind since I haven’t moved in three days.

Don’t curl your lip, I have just cause! Lizzie kicked me out of her house when I failed to show up for Russell’s party and Mari was so mad at me, she hasn’t called me at two in the morning, not once.

Okay once, but all she did was breathe raggedly on the other end of the phone, legitimately giving me the creeps. I had to lock my door to get to sleep and I draped a pair of Obin’s brown underpants on my door handle in case she tried to get in.

She screamed so loud when that happened, it woke my mama who by the way, was so amused she peed herself laughing. That will so teach Mari to try and creep stalk me.

“What!”

I can’t help my mood. I haven’t seen or spoken to anyone but mama since she had to drag me home with her, kicking and biting when Lizzie called Killian to come get me. He wasn’t as cocky as they thought he’d be, in fact my big brother was so terrified he showed up at the door wearing a cup, and a helmet.

I bet his nuts are still swollen because come on, I was not happy about having to go home to mama’s.

And they are all mad at me, even daddy and I get it okay. The party was a great success with those animals busting it up after Russell’s mother fainted and his father had to be sedated and monitored in the hospital in case of a heart attack.

Mama told me Mari laughed and asked the EMT’s if they could find one in his chest. That was before the music started and from the videos Mari posted on her Facebook page, it was a blast. It was so funny to see Ian busting a move, although Lord knows, the jiggling he did with those skinny knees made him look like an albino chicken.

Even Cece and Stevie had so much fun, and booze, they announced their engagement and had what was left of the guests tying one on with them.

I’m the only who stayed behind and I guess I can cop to cowardice right here, because I was afraid. Not of him, I mean duh! I organized the entire Egan, Byrd, Crocker clan and had them stage a coup of mega proportions. I masterminded some of the stuff, well not the business stuff, but the costumes. Oh Obin, you’re an inspiration.

And then I choked because I didn’t want to go there and have this big emotional scene with Russell. Not there among those strangers who wouldn’t understand why I’d kick him in the balls and then sooth him.

No, I want him on my turf. Which is easier said than done since that asshole’s disappeared on me. I finally cracked three days ago and went to his apartment, wearing a trench coat and a whole lot of naked skin, but he wasn’t there and a snoop around showed that his fridge was cleaned of perishables and his bed hadn’t been slept in.

I got a little angry then, I have a temper okay, and it was not a good idea to toss his key on the table and storm out. Mostly because my coat tail got stuck when I slammed the door. Which I could then not unlock and open.

I tell ya, it takes a lot more strength to rip a trench coats back end off when it gets stuck in the door, than one would think. And choosing what to cover, front or back, is not an easy task. Especially when I had to walk down the street with my crack jiggling with every step.

Mari spotted me like that and laughed so hard Gray had to give her his coat to hide the wet spot on her pants. I’ve been in my room ever since, wallowing as mama calls it, although I can’t even do that properly because mama took the T.V out and refuses to let me watch television on the couch in the living room since Killian’s girlfriend comes over a lot.

Apparently we have to lie about who we are until he gets a ring on her finger. Yeah, like mama is capable of controlling the urge to be her true self.

I like her. I think. It’s hard to decide with her being all decent and stuff. My family doesn’t really do decent, at all, so it’s no surprise that when she asked Mari if she wanted help with her birthing plan, Mari asked her if she wanted to die.

“Ingram, for the love of God girl, get your ass down here please, I am not doing this crap today of all days, I have to go see the father about…”

She trails off and I laugh for the first time in days because mama is in hot water with the father. He caught her buying booze on a Sunday and almost shit himself. Mama caught such a fright she threw the bottle at him and took off down the street running.

She maintains she thought he was a mugger. The father maintains, after ten stitches on his forehead and a lot of soul searching that mama can use rubber gloves when she cleans the nuns bathroom.

I’m still laughing as I get down the stairs and follow mama out of the back door and almost have a stroke when music blares all around me. I’m a little confused and a lot afraid before I look up and see the funniest thing I have ever seen in my life.

Russell. In the same suit I forced Obin to wear to that party. And he’s dancing along with everyone. To Justin Timberlake’s Can’t Stop the feeling.

It’s so ridiculous I can’t decide whether I want to laugh or cry because he performs a spin that clearly high lights his man junk, and trust me, I see his junk through the tight pants that stop halfway down his legs. The shirt isn’t even buttoned, the jacket is ripped along the shoulders and the pants…

They’re so tight on his ass that when he twists around and spreads to do a grind, I hear an audible rip that has him freezing completely, his eyes going wide.

Blay’s shoulders start shaking. I see Ty dive behind Rox and Grayson and Char are about to yell something hilarious before Lizzie drills that eyeball of hers into them and hisses a warning.

Poor Russell though, his face goes cherry red to clash with the blue suit and he takes a few seconds to collect himself before straightening and resuming his seduction. And it is seduction because this is my favorite song ever and the words are so my thing when he looks right at me and starts singing Nothing I can see but you when you dance, dance, dance girl.

Ro and Ro are backing him up with some moves that should not be possible for butterballs and Ian and Mitch are trying but failing to keep in synch with everyone else, there movements jerky and off beat by at least two seconds.

It’s so….perfect that I can’t help the tears that start falling as I laugh, and laugh. And laugh even harder when Mari tires to bust one and ends up having to be carried off the floor, her huge belly stuck out in front her while she curses and shakes her fist at Gray.

I stand and watch the whole thing, holding Russell’s eyes through every uncomfortable dip and turn before the music finally slows and stops, leaving the dancers frozen and clearly discomfited for a moment before Ian yells a thank God and shuffles off to get a beer.

I don’t move, no I wait for Rus as he straightens, takes a deep breath and moves towards me, his nerves so clear I almost feel sorry for him when everyone crowds closer and refuses to give us a minute.

“Ingram. I, I love you. I want you. I need you. There is so much that I want to say, but no matter what I say, no matter how flowery I make the words or how I fuck them up-”

“You’re fucking it up now loser! Be sappy. She’s the weak one in this herd, she likes sappy.” Mari yells, getting a growl from Gray that makes her pout and fold her arms in a sulk.

“No matter what I say to you today, the one thing that will always be true is that I love you and can’t live without you. I don’t dance. I’ll dance for you. I don’t sing. I’ll sing for you. I am never the guy who jumps off a cliff without knowing where he’ll land. For you, I’ll be reckless and just be happy if you’re falling with me. Because I love you and making you love me again will be my biggest accomplishment in life. I bought you a ring months ago, before I messed up and hurt you. Way before I decided to be a dumb fuck and try to push you away. You probably don’t want it now, but I’m giving it to you anyway because we both know I’m good at stalking you and I’ll eventually wear you down.”

I grin at that because he is so right.

I’m about to kiss him, throw him to the grass and have my disgusting way with him when Obin sidles up and ruins the moment stupendously.

“She picked her nose till she was twelve. And still believes in the bogey man. Good luck man. It’s taken this long to make her someone else’s problem and I hate to sour the deal but I gotta warn ya, she farts in her sleep.”

Russell starts laughing but I take this shit seriously, so after three minutes that see Obin screaming and crying so hard he farts, I finally get to look at Russell, take his hand and tell him what I wanted to say that first day I looked into his eyes and wanted to do depraved things to him.

“I don’t think our babies will be all that ugly, but just in case, we’ll wait to see what claws its way out of Mari.”

He kisses me with a laugh, I hear nanna giggling while Mari snarls and struggles to get to her feet.

And everything is good. Because I’ve been good. I’ve been bad. I’ve been everything in between but for Russell, I’ll be reckless and with me at his side, we can be reckless, in love and together.

Always.