Ty

I haven’t been this mad at the world since I found out Britney Spears was a psycho, and country music was an actual genre. I feel betrayed, and soul sick and just plain tired as I fall into my seat and ignore the spread sheets I’m supposed to be working on.

Yesterday was a day of revelations for me. A day where I got to let go of everything I’ve been carrying around for years and just breathe as I thought back and found signs of everything Cindy had confessed to me.

At first, when she called me and asked me to meet with her at her apartment I was firm and unwilling to be anywhere near her, in such an intimate space. It was only when she cried and begged me to just hear her out that I caved and went over there, wanting to at least get some closure and tell her that I hate her for what she did.

It was uncomfortable and annoying to hear her say that she still loves me and at first I wanted to yell at her and tell her that I couldn’t ever love her again, not knowing what a cold, heartless person she is.

I was so ready to declare my hatred and laugh in her face when the fire alarm went off and stopped me in my tracks. I’m glad now that I didn’t say any of that shit because while she would have deserved it and more, I now understand why she did what she did and part of me is grateful.

Grateful because I realized something as I looked at her polished perfection and the thousand dollar threads she wears. I don’t want that kind of woman. I don’t want professionally styled hair that doesn’t seem to move in anything but perfect curls. I don’t want manicured red nails and professionally whitened teeth that make my eyeballs bleed just looking at them.

I don’t want cultured conversation where people don’t crack jokes and the closest anyone gets to a fart is stomach flu or food poisoning.

I want my girl. The one who scratches her ass even when people are looking because she doesn’t give two shits what people think. I want hazel eyes that laugh when I look into them and lips that are reddened only when Rox bites them to keep in a giggle.

I want dark brown hair that frizzes slightly when it’s humid out and smells like flowers and the cookie dough she gets into it every time she eats it on the sly.

I want Rox and once I understood that the rest of what Cindy confessed to me was just…closure I guess.

And now here I am, ready, free, wanting to go to my girl and beg her to forgive me and give me another chance.

“You really fucked up man.” Blay growls, storming into my office without knocking as Gray trails in behind him with a scowling Rus hot on his heels.

“I know. You think I don’t know? I tried calling her all through the week and even went to her house last night but she won’t see me. I don’t get it. She was talking to me just fine at dinner the other night, even though I know she was ducking and diving me at the club.”

Blay stills and I see him look at Gray and Rus before he turns back to me, eyes narrowed.

“Wait. You mean you don’t know…oh shit man, you are so fucking screwed.” He groans, falling into a chair as Rus closes the door and slouches on the couch beside Gray.

“What are you talking about? Know what?”

“Ty, damn man, I don’t know how to tell you this but yesterday? Mari stole Cindy’s keys and the girls all broke into her apartment to mess with her stuff. They were hiding when you and that…woman got there. She heard the whole spiel Cindy was giving you and…I really do not advise you go anywhere near the neighbourhood unless you want those women catching you.”

My heart stalls a little after a moment of pure amusement because I know, this is so Rox and Mari that I can’t even understand my surprise. Hot on the heels of that is dawning dread and I groan as I replay yesterday and everything that was said before that alarm went off.

“Fuuuuck. Oh shit Blay.”

“Shit would be right my friend. Mari was in high lather when Gray got home and she practically cackled when she told him that Lizzie and the Ro’s are on the warpath. I hate to say it man, but I think you should take a break and hide out at your folks’ place until they stop foaming at the mouth.”

“Yeah. Ing called me last night and told me everything. Ty, Jesus man, is it true? Did Rox tell you she loves you?”

I want to deny it at first because no, I would so remember hearing those words coming from her, but as I think back and replay that night in my head, I realize that she did. It wasn’t the exact words but Rox told me in her own way, with her tears and her willingness to take whatever I would give her. And the way she pleaded with me to just give us a chance.

“I have to fix this. I need to see her and talk to her.” I groan, spilling my guts about everything that went down yesterday and my deep regret at the stupidity I’ve shown all this time.

“Does this mean we can’t hate that woman anymore because…”Gray tapers off and gives Blay a look that has the man groaning through a laugh and wincing visibly.

“I’m sure it won’t work. It’s just a home remedy.” Blay says hesitantly, making me cringe at whatever the hell those women were up to yesterday.

“Dude, Mari showed me family pictures. That shit works. Poor Rox looked like a swarm of angry bees attacked her ass and that was before the pustules started exploding.” Gray shudders. “And Mari’s shit tonic works. Just ask my car seats.”

“I don’t care!” I yell, losing my patience as the magnitude of my fuck up hits home. “I don’t give two shits what they did or if Cindy shits her pants in public. All I care about is getting Rox back before she leaves me for that muscle bound asshole that was all over her the other night.”

“Ty, I really hate to say this, mostly because if Ing finds out I’ve been talking she will rip my throat out with her teeth, but the whole family has gone code red and if you so much as sniff at that girl they’ll have you strung up while that goaty motherfucker reads your last rights. I don’t know how you think you can fix this, not with aunt Lizzie on your trail.”

There’s only one thing that can save this situation and I close my eyes in defeat as I accept the steps I’ll have to take and pray to God that poor family survives it.

“There’s only one thing to do now. I’ll have to bring in mom and dad.”

*****************

Rox

“Stop watching this shit. It’s depressing.”

I snarl over at Cam and snap at his fingers when he reaches for the remote and tries to mess with my pity party. I’ve been on the couch for three days and with the way things are shaping up I’m not sure I’m even human anymore as I snarl at Rose and beg Jack to dump her fat ass before she screws him over.

Stupid love. Stupid feelings.

“Rox.”

“I will stab you with this spoon if you try to tell me I stink again. I know I do. I’m basking in the funk and I like it!” I yell, cringing at the smell of my pits and the scrape of hair that should have been removed two days ago.

Forgive me okay. I’m grieving the loss of a dear friend here because despite Tyson’s disappearing act I know it’s just a matter of time before Lizzie shows up here with his dead carcass clutched in her jaws.

“Christ almighty. Ma! She smells like Justin’s pits and bad girl pussy.” Cam barks, making my eyes twitch as ma comes running into the living room and plants her hands on her hips, her glare making her red hair stand on end so bad I think I see it waving at me.

“You stop this right now Rox and go wash yourself or I will personally have the father come pay you a visit.”

“Do it.” I snarl, curling my lip. “I dare you.”

Not that I am not scared of the threat, trust me I am plenty afraid of that old fart coming in here and lecturing me about how cleanliness is next to Godliness.

I’m watching Titanic, I don’t have time for a three hour lecture and my wailing mother right now.

“You, you…your papa was crying last night Rox. He can’t stand to see you this way anymore and you know how much it upsets mama to see papa so upset. Please baby, mama, mama won’t ever send you to morning mass again if you would just clean yourself up and get off the couch for a few hours.”

The pleading in her voice and the lack of yelling and slapping has me narrowing my eyes suspiciously. This isn’t right. The four horsewomen of the Apocalypse do not bargain. Or ask more than once.

Something feels wrong here, I think as mama keeps wringing her hands and Cam keeps watching T.V as if he didn’t tell me twenty minutes ago that Leonardo DiCaprio was making his eyes bleed.

I don’t know what these people are up to, but as I gag at the sound of Rose professing her undying love again, I rise slowly from the couch and decide to humour them and see where this is going.

“Fine but if even one of you touch this remote or my cookie dough I will go Amityville Horror on you and shoot you all in your sleep. Except papa, he’s not tainted with your blood.”

I have to admit though, as I step out of the bathroom an hour later, clean, smelling like lavender and not a dead animal, I do feel better, god help the next person to use that razor though because man, it was just wrong what came off my pits.

I’ve been thinking though, now that my mind is cleared of the killing haze that over took me; maybe I should just let this all go and forgive Ty. I mean it hurts, I won’t lie and part of me is still angry enough to want his broken body at my feet, but I do love him and if you love someone you want them to be happy right?

And I do want him to be happy. If that happiness entails a blonde I would happily give my mother a stroke over-because damn, the woman is just sex material-then so be it.

I’m great. Once I stopped feeling sorry for my pathetic ass I snapped right back to life and went Crocker like I usually do because the blood, it won’t let you win…well, I felt like me again.

And I am awesome. I can’t help it it’s true. I’ve survived growing up in this family, am not in prison which is a minor miracle all in itself and I haven’t slept with so many guys I need to use two super tampons at once when I get my flow.

And guys dig me. I’m pretty and funny and charming and just a catch. I don’t care it that makes me sound like an asshole, it’s true. I could move on from this and be okay.

I won’t ever love another man the way I loved Ty, but I can be a good wife to anyone and they’d be lucky to have me.

So yeah, that’s what I am going to do. Forgiveness isn’t where I’m at yet, I’m only just human, no matter what mama keeps saying and that will take a long time because dammit, I would have made him so happy.

But I can get through telling him I’m moving on. I can. And I can fake a smile and happiness if he tells me he’s going back to that boil faced bimbo.

At least I can still look forward to the photos Billy promised he’d take because come on, I did not go through all of that only to miss the results of that little B and E.

“Rox! Getchaass down here. You have visitors.” Cam yells, breaking out of my thoughts.

“I am not talking to another one of you assholes. If I have to hear you set me up with another one of your friends I will rip your tongue out Cameron. If I’m gonna do a rebound I at least want someone who doesn’t have to shave his fucking back with a machete!”

I yell it at the top of my lungs as I bounce down the stairs and almost lose the use of my legs when I come to a standstill at the sight of Ty standing in the hallway, smiling at me as a little blonde woman and a man with a thick, luxurious moustache like Tom Seleck’s step into view.

“God Lord Tyson, you were right, she’d make glorious grandbabies with all that lovely hair! And those breasts! So perfect for nursing a baby.”

Erm.

“Stop hogging the girl Misty. I need to measure her hips for the sex swing!”

God have mercy.

“Ty-”

I don’t get to finish that sentence, don’t get out anything more than a gasp because mama-who obviously just heard the booming mention of sex swings-lets out a high pitch gasp and keels over, her dress flipping up to reveal brown panties and the fact that mama lied.

Wax my ass. The woman has an afro so full her drawers look full to bursting.

I want to cringe as I turn back to Ty and two people who are so obviously his parents it’s shocking to know that he could belong to characters like this.

“She so totally lied about waxing.” Is all I can say.

Ty grins and I hear Cam chuckle before he lifts ma and carries her to the sofa.

“That’s okay, I’m sure ma can help her out while dad takes your hip measurements.”

What the hell is going on?